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Old 07-15-2021, 12:21 PM   #21
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I just hired a housekeeper because I didn't 'train' my husband to help around the house. We raised two children, I worked full time (actually the major wage earner as his profession didn't pay well), I did all the cooking and cleaning. He is now 83 and not re-trainable. I prepare our dinner meal, he thinks it is a big deal that he puts the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. I do all the laundry, he thinks it is a big deal that he makes the bed with fresh sheets. No help folding or ironing. After venting to my daughter she told me to hire a cleaning lady. That team does a great job and is very thorough. Money well invested to preserve my sanity.
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Old 07-15-2021, 12:31 PM   #22
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I just hired a housekeeper because I didn't 'train' my husband to help around the house. We raised two children, I worked full time (actually the major wage earner as his profession didn't pay well), I did all the cooking and cleaning. He is now 83 and not re-trainable. I prepare our dinner meal, he thinks it is a big deal that he puts the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. I do all the laundry, he thinks it is a big deal that he makes the bed with fresh sheets. No help folding or ironing. After venting to my daughter she told me to hire a cleaning lady. That team does a great job and is very thorough. Money well invested to preserve my sanity.
Mostly the opposite here.
My DGF has had 1 shoulder surgery and 3 back surgeries.
Thus I do the laundry, gardening, most of the cooking and most of the general errands.
6x weekly Pickleball makes it work for me.
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Old 07-15-2021, 12:36 PM   #23
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I just hired a housekeeper because I didn't 'train' my husband to help around the house. We raised two children, I worked full time (actually the major wage earner as his profession didn't pay well), I did all the cooking and cleaning. He is now 83 and not re-trainable. I prepare our dinner meal, he thinks it is a big deal that he puts the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. I do all the laundry, he thinks it is a big deal that he makes the bed with fresh sheets. No help folding or ironing. After venting to my daughter she told me to hire a cleaning lady. That team does a great job and is very thorough. Money well invested to preserve my sanity.
I must be the lucky one. We both worked full time and made equally good money. When we were working we did not cook. Now I only cook and vacuum. He cleans up after I cook (dishwasher etc.), puts out garbage, does toilets and laundry. I do not want a housekeeper and we get by fine.
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Old 07-15-2021, 01:05 PM   #24
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I just hired a housekeeper because I didn't 'train' my husband to help around the house. We raised two children, I worked full time (actually the major wage earner as his profession didn't pay well), I did all the cooking and cleaning. He is now 83 and not re-trainable. I prepare our dinner meal, he thinks it is a big deal that he puts the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. I do all the laundry, he thinks it is a big deal that he makes the bed with fresh sheets. No help folding or ironing. After venting to my daughter she told me to hire a cleaning lady. That team does a great job and is very thorough. Money well invested to preserve my sanity.
Iíve been meaning to post a related thread. I RE a year ago and have pretty much taken over almost all of the kid responsibilities and household chores, except for housekeeping and lawn maintenance which we hire out. Iím pretty wiped just trying to keep up and definitely donít feel like Iím Ďretiredí or relaxing in any way.

DH is still consulting, but business is super slow. Heís been working to drum up more business, but I can tell a lot of his day is free and spent getting lunch or on the computer. He definitely doesnít need to be working at this point, though the extra income has been nice. I admit, Iím starting to get a little resentful about feeling like I spend the day scrambling to get stuff done while heís having a more relaxing time.

Iím curious how the transition has been for SAH spouses who suddenly have a retired spouse. I can see being very frustrated if a newly retired spouse is spending their time playing instead of helping out, even though thatís what retirement should be! Granted itís different with kids still at home, but itís an interesting dynamic. DH used to do a lot of the cooking, etc when we were both working, but since I stopped working I took over.
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Old 07-15-2021, 06:22 PM   #25
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When I lost my job a few years ago, I decided to retire earlier versus finding another job. Part of the agreement was I would do all the tasks we had paid others to do - clean, dog walk, cook more (instead of eating out), etc. Going to one income was scary for both of us so this wasnít my husband demanding I do it. It was me wanting to do it. And I suggested that as a way to cover my lost income.

I love walking my dog but I hate the cleaning part. I want my housekeeper back but I feel guilty spending money for something I could do myself. And my husband is very frugal and feels itís a waste of money and goes against what I agreed to when I retired earlier than planned.

Financially, we are fine. The FIRE Calc shows only a 2% chance of running out of money and projects anywhere from $5-80M left if we die at 92. Of course thatís just a calculation so I take it with a grain of salt.

If you are retired, do you have a housekeeper? Do you feel itís money well spent?
i get it. we've had a lawn service and a housecleaner for decades. and now we have a snow removal service. i used to feel a bit guilty and a bit show-offy but I soon got over it. especially the snow removal. love watching those guys from my EZ chair.
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Old 07-15-2021, 06:34 PM   #26
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We have a guy that comes every other week. Yes, a guy. Wifey has been using him for years. Not to mention she always cleans before he comes. Because...they might tell tales?

I dunno. All very weird.
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Old 07-15-2021, 07:57 PM   #27
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When we had bathrooms and kitchen renovated, the cost included a cleaner to clean up the mess left by the workers. I got pretty annoyed with her. Overly familiar, and used my husband's bathroom and told me how dirty it was (as if I didn't know, and BTW who asked her?)

So I guess my choice is someone who doesn't speak English at all, or someone who speaks too much of it.
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Old 07-15-2021, 07:59 PM   #28
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I think it would be nice for someone to come in a couple times a year for a DEEP CLEANING
Thatís sort of what I would like. Iíd like someone to come in and help me deep clean an entire room. If they came once a month and spent a half to full day there, the house would get a good cleaning at least once per year. Probably throw bathrooms (1 & 1/2 baths) each visit mostly to get the shower. But, general cleaning isnít too difficult given we donít have carpet anymore. As others have said, mostly just picking up our ďstuffĒ and Iím not going to be able to farm that out.

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Now a lawn service? I would LOVE that but have found that it's tough to find someone who will do it to my exacting (OCD) standards, so I still deal with it.
I do my own lawn now but paid for it while working. I found that my OCD wasnít hard to control given that I wasnít right on top of the lawn every week. When I pulled into the drive, it looked fine. Even better since I didnít have to do it.

Now, I have a grand son helping me, beyond making him feel like he earns his money, it is helpful to have him do the riding mower while I trim. We get done in half the time that way.
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Old 07-15-2021, 08:00 PM   #29
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For some reason, this reminds me of the old saw about always wearing clean underwear when you go out, in case you get into an accident and have to have emergency surgery. The surgeon might say, "You expect me to operate? Look at that underwear!"

"You expect me to clean? Look at this dirty house!"

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We have a guy that comes every other week. Yes, a guy.... Not to mention she always cleans before he comes. Because...they might tell tales?

I dunno. All very weird.
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Old 07-15-2021, 08:30 PM   #30
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Mostly the opposite here.
My DGF has had 1 shoulder surgery and 3 back surgeries.
Thus I do the laundry, gardening, most of the cooking and most of the general errands.
6x weekly Pickleball makes it work for me.
that's actually how we hired a house cleaner to begin with waaaaaaay back in 1976 or '77. donna went on a park district ski trip and tore ligaments in one knee. she was off work for 5-6 months so we hired a house cleaner and have kept one all these years. that was also the year we started getting cable-tv. back then we did not have a remote for the TV but the cable box did have a remote. i'd set her up in the morning....recliner, water, bowl of ice, telephone amd remote. we've also kept cable all these years.
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Old 07-15-2021, 08:40 PM   #31
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We have a housekeeper that comes in once every two weeks and does a very thorough job. She’s been with us for close to 20 years. I’m happy to pay for it because I did not retire early to scrub toilets in my spare time.
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Old 07-16-2021, 01:57 AM   #32
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When I lost my job a few years ago, I decided to retire earlier versus finding another job. Part of the agreement was I would do all the tasks we had paid others to do - clean, dog walk, cook more (instead of eating out), etc. Going to one income was scary for both of us so this wasnít my husband demanding I do it. It was me wanting to do it. And I suggested that as a way to cover my lost income.



I love walking my dog but I hate the cleaning part. I want my housekeeper back but I feel guilty spending money for something I could do myself. And my husband is very frugal and feels itís a waste of money and goes against what I agreed to when I retired earlier than planned.



Financially, we are fine. The FIRE Calc shows only a 2% chance of running out of money and projects anywhere from $5-80M left if we die at 92. Of course thatís just a calculation so I take it with a grain of salt.



If you are retired, do you have a housekeeper? Do you feel itís money well spent?


Absolutely! DH and I agreed that having a housekeeper is one of the last discretionary expenditures we would give up. I like to have our place looking nice pretty much all the time, and we like to entertain often. Having a housekeeper makes this more feasible. They only come every two weeks so in between, if we have people over, we often have to clean the floors.
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Old 07-16-2021, 02:43 AM   #33
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We have a guy that comes every other week. Yes, a guy. Wifey has been using him for years. Not to mention she always cleans before he comes. Because...they might tell tales?

I dunno. All very weird.
Yeah strange stuff. I do not clean anything before the cleaning service comes over. Not time efficient for me.
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Old 07-16-2021, 02:58 AM   #34
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I know it's just a figure of speech, and am not criticizing you - but it's so funny to me, because toilets only take about 5 minutes each to clean.

Whereas washing floors and dusting literally take hours, especially if Venetian blinds are involved! But people tend to mention "scrubbing toilets" as the chore to be avoided.

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I did not retire early to scrub toilets in my spare time.
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Old 07-16-2021, 05:37 AM   #35
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This is a timely post. We had a house keeper the last 12-15 years that we both worked. But since retirement 3 years ago, we have been cleaning ourselves.
We feel that we have the time and ability now and we will need to outsource more things as we age, currently 60 and 63.
But, we are both getting tired of it! So we may get one in 2022, every other week.
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Old 07-16-2021, 06:34 AM   #36
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Dealing with contractors is something I avoid. It seems like they're going to do it their way and I better get used to it. If a compliant cleaning contractor magically arrived, I'd probably keep the service going, but the ones we've tried just didn't do it for us. The good news was DW removed clutter on cleaning days...I joked that I'd do more cleaning if she did that part of the job for me, hehehe!
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Old 07-16-2021, 07:09 AM   #37
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Having someone clean my house is the nicest thing I do for myself. I love a clean house and don't like cleaning it myself. I planned on doing it myself after retirement, but I just don't want to. And we can certainly afford to have it done. A major source of mess is my teenage boys. Maybe I'll clean it myself after they're gone off to college. Nah.
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Old 07-16-2021, 10:33 AM   #38
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My wife is an immaculate housekeeper, and with all of her back and joint problems with arthritis she cannot keep the house to her high standards. She can barely do laundry and empty the dishwasher right now.

So she's saving getting a housekeeper until now. Trouble will be finding one that meets her expectations 2x a month.
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Old 07-16-2021, 12:03 PM   #39
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So far in retirement we have not needed a housekeeper. As someone mentioned before, decluttering is more of an issue than cleaning. DW and I were both raised by parents who felt all the kids had to learn to clean all aspects of a home, so sharing various chores have never been a problem. In truth I am probably closer to Felix Unger on the cleaning scale than DW, but that is just an observation, nothing I really care about.

With an "empty nest" keeping the house clean is not a big deal, as we are still healthy, mobile, and flexible. Besides, it is something I can do while listening to music ("clean to the beat!" ) or a podcast. Down the road, who knows, we will deal with it at that time .
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Old 07-16-2021, 01:34 PM   #40
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What about a compromise-hire someone once a quarter to deep clean. And keep up the little stuff the rest of the time.
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