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Old 02-04-2021, 09:40 AM   #61
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Well crap. Ive never thought as my comfort in dressing however I want as white privilege, but I guess it is. Oh well, at least Im learning.
^Same thing I thought of when I read that. Interesting observation.
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Old 02-04-2021, 10:18 AM   #62
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It's been awhile, but while in an elevator once with a woman I had never met, she gaped at me for a moment and told me I looked like Sean Connery. I hope Sean and I have diverged a bit in the looks department since then, since Sean is dead.

Myself, I don't see it.
After my divorce in my mid 50's I was wondering if any woman would ever find me attractive. Trust me when I say nobody would ever mistake me for Sean Connery. Hollywood good looks are not one of my advantages. And I didn't have that Scottish accent that women find so appealing.

But, I came across an ad with a 60-something Mr. Connery posing. He wore a fedora type hat, well fitting jeans, and shirt. Simple, clean, elegant. I could never buy his looks or accent, but I could buy the hat, jeans and shirt. Thankfully, good genes and virtuous living gave me a descent body to fit into them.

It worked.
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Old 02-04-2021, 10:55 AM   #63
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I was wondering if any woman would ever find me attractive.
Which is why, after my late wife passed, I joined an online dating site entitled "Visually Impaired Females In Your Area".
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Old 02-04-2021, 11:13 AM   #64
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Well I just got back from the store and noticed my pants have multiple holes in them, so sometimes it's not about how people see you as how much of you they see!
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Old 02-04-2021, 01:02 PM   #65
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Some years ago, I was chatting on FB with some cousins, and a young male cousin (20's) kept butting in with remarks in ALL CAPS. I should've let it alone but just had to ask, "Why are you shouting, XYZ?"

His witty response was "So old hags like you don't have to put on your reading glasses."

We've never met, so all he had to go on was my profile pic.


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Just reading through all the new posts I just remembered what some young boys told me one day. I was on a bike ride and two young boys that looked like they were up to no good, asked me "what are you doing old man". They actually said it a few times. It didn't bother me that I was old but I did think they most likely weren't taught to show respect to others and that they maybe the ones I see in the paper as getting in trouble someday.

I grew up among elderly in all of my early years of life. I would never have said that to one of them out of respect.
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Old 02-04-2021, 01:04 PM   #66
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Does this go for African American women, too? Because I always noticed, at work, that many of the best dressers were African American men and women, and not just management either. Indeed, I never saw a Black person at work who wasn't well dressed, whereas many of the white co-workers looked extremely shabby.

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As a dark skinned minority male, I learned growing up, and through my parents, that I had to be aware of what strangers might think of me, as it would make a difference in the quality of my life. That is one reason I always dress clean and neat in public. My parents also taught me that "wherever you go, act like you belong there, as you will stand out and some may not want you there". In my line of work and travel that was true, though it did improve over the years. Too many "interesting" incidents to document here. I joke with people that social distancing is not an issue for me, I have experienced enough of it over the years that I am used to it.

My guess is that most strangers would find it surprising that I am retired and not working at all. Some of my friends see me that way. DW said a lot of her friends implied that she was still working because I retired, they will be surprised when she stops working in a couple of months .
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Old 02-04-2021, 01:22 PM   #67
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I never give a thought as to what strangers think of me. This is a pretty casual area and I dress like everyone else most of the time: jeans, t-shirt, sweater, coat (MN here). I'm always clean and neat in body and attire, not because I care what others think but for my own integrity. As an older woman I pretty much go unnoticed by strangers, I think, but being an introvert that suits me just fine.
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Old 02-04-2021, 07:09 PM   #68
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Originally Posted by RVplusDog View Post
Well crap. Ive never thought as my comfort in dressing however I want as white privilege, but I guess it is. Oh well, at least Im learning.
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Originally Posted by Bigdawg View Post
^Same thing I thought of when I read that. Interesting observation.

I tend not to like the term "white privilege" as IMHO it is one of a set of recent terms that tend to shut down productive discussions on race. I may be biased since, at this stage in my life, I have had a career and finances better than probably 90% of "white" people in this country and therefore have gained a lot of "privilege" over them. I look at the dress situation more as "minority realities" . Dress nice as to lessen the chance that it will be used against you to "justify" their assumptions about you.
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Old 02-04-2021, 07:11 PM   #69
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Does this go for African American women, too? Because I always noticed, at work, that many of the best dressers were African American men and women, and not just management either. Indeed, I never saw a Black person at work who wasn't well dressed, whereas many of the white co-workers looked extremely shabby.

This would also fall into what I posted in my previous reply - dress nice as to lessen the chance that it will be used against you to "justify" their assumptions about you.
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Old 02-05-2021, 06:34 AM   #70
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However, when we are not at anchor, we tend to stay at expensive marinas with the amenities we like and at times, go to good restaurants because we have been eating in while at anchor, so its not uncommon for us to run into people who generally have fancier boats. It is always interesting to see their reaction to their new poor neighbors on the little boat.
I would just mention that it's your dinghy and that your yacht is too big for the harbour. :-)
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Old 02-05-2021, 06:52 AM   #71
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They don't. As a man of a certain age I have become invisible to most of the outside world. This is a huge advantage.

Life is good.

+1
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Old 02-05-2021, 07:01 AM   #72
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I always assumed the people merely had good taste, and liked to show it. Your insights have made me think back quite a bit.

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This would also fall into what I posted in my previous reply - dress nice as to lessen the chance that it will be used against you to "justify" their assumptions about you.
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Old 02-05-2021, 02:29 PM   #73
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I would just mention that it's your dinghy and that your yacht is too big for the harbour. :-)
Looking at the picture I'd tell 'em Skipper left it to me & are they interested in a 3-hour tour?

And as I've posted before I like to tell people I'm unemployed just to see how they then choose to treat me...
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Old 02-06-2021, 07:43 PM   #74
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My SIL spent a lifetime worrying about how others saw her.

As a result she is about to retire with no savings, no pension, a house that she cannot afford to maintain, two vehicles, a mortgage and a reverse mortgage.

She never cracked the code. Insecurity. But still keeping up the charade....for now.
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Old 02-06-2021, 08:39 PM   #75
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They don't. As a man of a certain age I have become invisible to most of the outside world. This is a huge advantage.
Yeah. ditto.
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Old 02-07-2021, 11:51 AM   #76
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I'm just the old guy that walks his dogs a lot. If people think about my net worth (I don't think they care), I'm probably in the "just getting by" level. Stealth wealth suits me fine.
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Old 02-07-2021, 11:58 AM   #77
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I'm just the old guy that walks his dogs a lot. If people think about my net worth (I don't think they care), I'm probably in the "just getting by" level. Stealth wealth suits me fine.
+1

The only people that might even have an inkling are the homeless shelter and the religious institution I donate to.
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Old 02-07-2021, 06:49 PM   #78
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When younger I was concerned with how people viewed me. Now I don't care. What they think is none of my business anyway. During this past year there are few people that see me anyway except for my morning bike rides. Since I'm the old man on his "Big Wheel" (recumbent trike) I am noticed by all the walkers, runners, bicycle riders, and mothers pushing baby strollers. I always say "Good Morning" or wave to everyone and usually get a positive response. I imagine they would wonder if I was homeless if they saw me on the street in my old shorts, t-shirt, and flip flops. Little do they know...



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Old 02-07-2021, 07:44 PM   #79
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They don't. As a man of a certain age I have become invisible to most of the outside world. This is a huge advantage.

Life is good.
We feel the same here. My wife and I always say were invisible. We're not ugly, we're not gorgeous were just.... and we like it that way. I think we could commit a crime in the middle of a crowd and get away with it
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Old 02-07-2021, 08:18 PM   #80
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Pretty much sums me up
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