How do strangers see you?

[Ronstar]

I'm usually working in the yard or workshop so I'm grungy looking with dirty jeans and t-shirt or flannel shirt. Always wearing a hat - usually a dirty baseball cap.

When I do clean up, I wear sweatpants and t-shirt/sweatshirt.

So I really don't know what they think of me - nobody has told me. But I did hear someone say "Look - they have a gardener" as they cruised the lake in our backyard.

 

[Mr._Graybeard]

It's been awhile, but while in an elevator once with a woman I had never met, she gaped at me for a moment and told me I looked like Sean Connery. I hope Sean and I have diverged a bit in the looks department since then, since Sean is dead.

Myself, I don't see it.

 

[davebarnes]

"How do strangers see you?"
Well, kids' parents always say: "Stranger Danger!" when I am around.

 

[Mr._Graybeard]

"How do strangers see you?"
Well, kids' parents always say: "Stranger Danger!" when I am around.

 

[Amethyst]

Well, they were right! LOL. Good on ya, I say.

.

So I really don't know what they think of me - nobody has told me. But I did hear someone say "Look - they have a gardener" as they cruised the lake in our backyard.

 

[Huston55]

OP-Great trawler! What's its range? What kind of cruising are you doing?

I just bought a boat in Marina del Rey last year and brought it up the coast to SF Bay, where I'm easing my way into living on it full time. I'm splitting time btwn the boat and the condo now, as I work on both to prep for the transition. So, as you can imagine, lots of projects on the list to get done. And, since this is my first boat, everything has a learning curve for me (And, a spending curve too because, well...it's a boat.).

To your original question, I haven't noticed any real 'classism' in either of the marinas I've been in. But, it's early days so, I expect it's out there somewhere; hopefully, not much of it though.

 

[ProspectiveBum]

How did people see me?

Back in my working days I used to work out hard for 1-2 hours each day at lunch in our on-site gym, then shower. One day my company's security officer gave my a notice that had been passed around our small complex of office buildings about me.

Classic! I assume you had it framed?

 

[Gumby]

I'm sure most people don't notice me at all. That's why I think I'd be a good spy.

 

[Koolau]

Here in the Islands, casual is very acceptable. You rarely see folks truly dressed up, but of course, designer this and that are still fairly prevalent. I've noticed in the last 40 years that folks are a bit more conscious of their cars. While Toyotas still prevail, there are plenty of BMWs, MBs, and other Euro Lux cars now. My cars are very used and I don't spend a lot on detailing.

I would say that status-seeking, in general is primarily seen among young males - I assume looking for a mate, but I've never asked. Older folks are generally revered in the Islands and now that I'm finally going gray, I seem to command more respect from younger folks - especially those in retail and within social groups of mixed ages. It's taken some getting used to, but I like it.

On the mainland, if I say I live in Hawaii, it's as if a light just turned on. Oh, so you're NOT as poor as you look (dress). Your "good" cars must be back home in the Islands. (No, I've never had anyone say these things but you can kind of see it in their expressions.) I do still get the "You're so lucky." I've stopped saying "Luck had nothing to do with it" because, of course, luck DID have something to do with it. I was blessed and I took advantage of that to go after what I wanted. YMMV

 

[Markola]

Today was sunny and in the 50s and I walked to the park and laid down flat on my back on the grass, listening to an early retirement podcast. I noticed the fashionable moms and their children kept some distance [emoji41].

 

[bearkeley]

Yes, it very much happens to us.



We travel internationally (pre covid) about 4 months a year. Sometimes longer. We travel with carry on only and we are spontaneous travelers.



We can be happy at a no star chalet on an island in Thailand, in a six star resort, or a cruise ship.



We do carry on only because we can find ourselves climbing two or three flights of stairs in a European B&B or climbing over moored ferry boats or climbing in and out of long tail boat in Thailand, or have the valet insist on taking our bag in a luxury hotel or resort.



Clearly, our selection of clothing is limited. No extras. That means on a cruise or high end hotel we are always casual. Shorts or dockers. We pass on the formal night (do not like them anyway). We also avoid those people who seem to want to judge us by what our occupations were prior to retirement. I mean really, who cares. Or they want to regale us with how important their children are or how well they are doing. We do not care.

This really varies by nationality of those we meet.



At one point one seven month trip we met a couple who seemed shocked that we were homeless simply because we had sold our home and placed everything in storage for a year. I could see in their faces that they could not understand how we could even be on this high end cruise. The other question was so did you sell your home in order to pay for your travel.



Some very strange responses except from the growing number of early retirees who are doing exactly what we are doing. We have met some wonderful friends along the way who we visit in Australia from time to time. But the bottom line.....NO we simply could care less what other people think. We are long past that on our life's journey. We view that concern as a complete waste of time and effort.



We also now live on a cul de sac. Most of our neighbors are early retirees. Usually two late model vehicles, often Acuras, Lexus, Mercs, etc. in the drive.

We have a 2006 Accord and a 2007 Solara convertable. Do we care? No? Do we feel that we need to keep up? Absolutely not. Especially when we are out of town so often during the year.

I had to check for a split second to see if your post was from my husband! We have a newer car (2009) but otherwise, pre COVID, do the exact same thing when traveling. Last year we took a couple of cruises from Miami to Buenos Aires via Antarctica and traveled for 4 months, camping and Airbnb’s and hotels (cut short by COVID) and only had a backpack each! Highly recommend that route if you haven’t done it!

 

[brett]

We have done too many cruises as well and far many land trips to count.

I would say that cruises were/are the absolute worst for fellow travelers wanting to know your socio economic background/employment/career info in order to 'slot' you.

We also found cruises the absolute worst for people bragging about who they are, what they have done, or the same with their wonderful children or grandchildren. Or all the cruise they have been on and what level they have reached in the cruise line reward schemes. If some of those people could hear themselves they would cringe. Or maybe not! Entitlement city.

Don't know what it is about cruises. The exception would be the many Australians that we have met along the way and become friends with.

 

[rk911]

we've had no issues with anyone at least none that we know of. if anyone is jealous or envious of our retirement they've kept it to themselves. but then we're at "retirement age" now. our lifestyle is very middle class...1600sq home, 11 and 18-yr old cars, etc. apart from extensive remodeling of our home over the past 11-12 years the only other indication of our financial status is our now 5-yr old motorhome.

 

[Souschef]

We have done too many cruises as well and far many land trips to count.

I would say that cruises were/are the absolute worst for fellow travelers wanting to know your socio economic background/employment/career info in order to 'slot' you.

We also found cruises the absolute worst for people bragging about who they are, what they have done, or the same with their wonderful children or grandchildren. Or all the cruise they have been on and what level they have reached in the cruise line reward schemes. If some of those people could hear themselves they would cringe. Or maybe not! Entitlement city.

Don't know what it is about cruises. The exception would be the many Australians that we have met along the way and become friends with.

I find you comment interesting. I have been on 47 cruises on a number of different lines including high end ones. I have never personally encountered that attitude.
However, on Cruise Critic there have been mentions of people showing off their medallion or whatever status symbol they have.
YMMV

 

[2017ish]

Yes, it very much happens to us.

We travel internationally (pre covid) about 4 months a year. Sometimes longer. We travel with carry on only and we are spontaneous travelers.
....

Yep. That's us as well, albeit with more travel (although if a dedicated dive trip, we'll check one bag).

For us, I'm sure it all depends upon where people see us. At home, on my 50 year old tractor or 25 year old truck, they night feel sorry for us! If they see us going into business class on transoceanic flights, probably different. OTOH, when we are the oldest people at the hostel.... But, close watchers might see that we try to spend less on lodgings than on dinners...

Don't really care; DW and I would never have retired early if we valued acquaintances' opinions.

 

[W2R]

I'm sure most people don't notice me at all. That's why I think I'd be a good spy.

Perfect! Actually we prefer being under the radar; often we can just scoot by unnoticed like that.

If anybody notices us, they seem to think we are a little old husband and wife living frugally on not much but Social Security.

The financial part is fine. We are not social climbers or high rollers so who cares. We fit the picture.

The married part can be a bit awkward, sometimes.

 

[CaptTom]

Nice boat! Looks like a lot of room for a 27'er. We went all over the place for weeks at a time in our little 28' express cruiser before we finally had to go with something a bit bigger and a lot slower for longer trips. Almost had the house on the market before COVID hit. We're hoping to spend even more time underway once we're able to sell it. I've been doing some deliveries in the meantime, and actually enjoying that.

 

[savory]

I am really not sure how people see me/DW. When we do long, multi-week bike tours we camp and stay in peoples homes with a program called Warm Showers. If they agree to host us, which means at minimum, a place to put your tent, they are not allowed to charge. 99% invite us in the house and typically provide a bed, great dinner and breakfast. After a 50 mile+ day on a loaded bike, you are hungry.

But the one story that happened in NC gave me some pause. We stopped at a convenience store to get a drink and snack. A man struck up a conversation with us. He use to bicycle tour but no longer did. We chatted for about 20 minutes and hit the road. He left about the same time. Then this car pulls ahead of us and onto the shoulder, in our path. The same gentleman gets out of the car and tells us he really misses bicycle touring. He insists we take the $20 he is offering us so we can enjoy our trip. We refused many times but no was not the right answer. I am guessing he was sincere about offering the money so he could feel like he was participating in our bike adventure. But, I am not 100% sure. He might have thought we just needed the money?

 

[Out-to-Lunch]

But, I am not 100% sure. He might have thought we just needed the money?

Have you considered (temporarily) changing your username to "unsavory" to accommodate this chap?

 

[NW-Bound]

How do strangers see me? I don't know.

I don't talk to strangers, and if I do, I do not ask them what they think of me.

And frankly, I do not really care, unless they think I am a mass murderer or a criminal. I am willing to bet that they don't give me any attention.

 

[RobbieB]

My fave is 2 kids ( 10-12 yrs age) walking by on the side walk and one says to his buddy;

"That guy is cool, he's always building stuff"

 

[RetireeRobert]

I got gray hair at a relatively young age, and had kids at relatively older age than many.

So when my oldest daughter was about six or seven, I took her to the grocery store, got what I needed and got her an ice cream bar.

At the checkout the clerk asked her "Isn't it nice your grampa is getting you a treat?" My daughter immediately told her "That's my daddy."

The clerk looked startled and turned several shades of red.

I thought it was hilarious! I always got a kick out of people thinking I was much older (because of the gray hair) than I actually was.

 

[bada bing]

I swung by the local airport to sweep the snow off the wings of my airplane. There was another guy doing the same the next tie-down row over. Both of us looked like over-the-hill "oilfield trash", probably because that is what we are. Living in rural Alaska, you can't judge the size of the checkbook by its cover at all. I know of a centimillionaire driving a 20 year old F250 with rust perforated quarter panels. He owns a very nice turbine beaver on amphibs though

 

[RetireeRobert]

And my wife always looked younger than her age. When she was in her late twenties, she looked like she was about sixteen. And I had graying hair.

So one time the DW and I went for a weekend vacation in a little town in the sparsely populated southeastern part of the state. I went in a motel office to get a room with one queen size bed. As I signed into the motel guest register, the twenty-something girl clerk had kind of a snicker look on her face. I know she was thinking this old coot, checking in with a very youngish looking girl into a motel out in the boondocks away from his home town, is up to some illicit hanky-panky. (Well, it wasn't illicit, be she did turn out to be right about the hanky-panky!)

 

[Koolau]

And my wife always looked younger than her age. When she was in her late twenties, she looked like she was about sixteen. And I had graying hair.

We've had the opposite issue. DW is only a few months older, but more than once, someone has called her my "mother." Her hair is pure silver while mine is still (well, until recently) DARK brown (though thinning.) DW was NOT pleased by these faux pax - once by a doctor who had just performed a minor procedure and came out to the waiting room to inform me my mother was doing well. I told him my mother died 20 years before. He begged me not to tell on him - I didn't until we were in the car on the way home.