Impossible W*rk Policies

FINALLY, we had a guy in our area last week DIE at 51 y.o. He traveled 1/2 way around the world in coach (as required). Apparently got a DVT and died on his hotel room bed first night. Good job Megacorp, forcing coach on people on 14 hour flights.
Wow, I wonder if the millions of other folks who have flown coach on very long flights all over the world are OK? I did dozens of 8-9 hours flights in coach while I was working, I guess I was very lucky, I didn't know it was so clearly hazardous.:cool:
 
Wow, I wonder if the millions of other folks who have flown coach on very long flights all over the world are OK? I did dozens of 8-9 hours flights in coach while I was working, I guess I was very lucky, I didn't know it was so clearly hazardous.:cool:

I'm sure the other millions are just fine. But I doubt the 51 YO dead guy much cares.
 
I guess I'm not too normal here but I have no problem with the corp expense policies. I get a company vehicle for which I pay a small amount each payday for personal use. I make sure I get the max personal use and the reporting system is like playing a game. Last year I took a road vacation at the end of the year and left only $2 on the table from my personal use.
Travelling over 200 nights a year for the last 33 years has been quite an experience. Policies have changed and reporting is actually pretty nice now. It's all web based and reconciled with a company credit card. Takes all of about 15 min per week. Usually about 6 am Saturday morning. - Looks like I'm too busy to get this done during the week -:)
 
There are a few things that will cure me of my current OMY syndrome:
- A decent buy out offer
- A demand to travel 1/2 way around the world

I'm done if they force the long travel.

The bad thing is they used to allow business class for long trips. Somewhere in all this cost cutting and policy making, they changed things. They used to also allow a decompression day ahead on "around the world" trips. No more, they want you to hit it running.

That's all just too darn hard on the body for old guys. We are not the army. Things like this help me respect you retired military folks. And one of the many reasons I don't begrudge your pension benefits. Let's hope our govt. doesn't goof that up.
 
My favorite MegaCorp rule is that one that says the most Senior person at a meal needs to pick up the check. I think I am the only one that even tries to follow that rule :) I feel bad for the folks that spend so much time on these CYA rules that most employees and managers ignore to a great extent.

Isn't that age discrimination? :LOL:

(OK, I know what you mean by senior person but in "many cases" you might not know who is the highest level person especially in mixed group/team luncheons since we didn't wear stripes or bars or stars.)
 
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Isn't that age discrimination? :LOL:

(OK, I know what you mean by senior person but in "many cases" you might not know who is the highest level person especially in mixed group/team luncheons since we didn't wear strips or bars or stars.)

Well, we have a rule for that as well. How to determine the most senior person at the dining table:

Hang on, while I'm thumb through the handy dandy policy........

Ok. According to page 28, section C, subsection A2, it says.....see Pub 597 for further information on how to determine seniority. Oh hell. I'll just go get some room service. Oops, not without checking the rule book. :)
 
My favorite MegaCorp rule is that one that says the most Senior person at a meal needs to pick up the check. I think I am the only one that even tries to follow that rule :)

I liked that policy too. Before the policy was pointed out to my boss, he'd always instruct me to pick up tabs and submit an expense report when we were traveling together. Of course, he was the one who approved that same expense report. About the third time I was called in to see the finance guy about "excessive entertainment charges," I mentioned that my boss was there and did all the ordering while instructing me to pick up the tab. The finance guy must have spoken to my boss, because it never happened again.

This all did, unfortunately, leave me with some fairly inappropriate expense reports filed under my name. Not sure if the finance guy pulled those and noted the circumstances or if they just aged away, but I never heard anything further about them.

Without the policy, I'm sure my big-spending boss would have just kept it up until the sh*t hit the fan.......

So, that's the logic behind the policy. Having the senior ranking person at the event sign the bill and submit the expense report eliminates the hanky panky of that same senior ranking person having a subordinate pick up the tab, submit the expense report and then approving that same expense report back at the office.
 
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This thread reminds me of the time on Seinfeld where George had sex with the cleaning woman on his desk. When called on the carpet, he said... "Was that wrong? I'm gonna have to plead ignorance on this. If I had KNOWN it was wrong...."

He still got fired. Not FIRED

 
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This thread reminds me of the time on Seinfeld where George had sex with the cleaning woman on his desk. When called on the carpet, he said... "Was that wrong? I'm gonna have to plead ignorance on this. If I had KNOWN it was wrong...."

He still got fired. Not FIRED


Awesome. Always love a good Seinfeld reference. I believe that was the cashmere episode.
 
Actual clip from a little fly-by-night software company's handbook (name changed):

"
The ability to bring your dog to work is a unique part of El Diablo Systems culture. You must have approval from the President. El Diablo Systems has outlined the following rules that we request all dog owners abide by:
1. Dogs should stay with their owner or designated dog sitter at all times and should preferably remain in the employee’s office.
2. Dogs must be kept at home if she/he is infested with fleas, ticks or worms.
3. Dogs are not allowed in restrooms or eating facilities.
4. Owners are responsible for cleaning up after any accident that their dog may have. This includes carpet sterilization if necessary.
5. If a dog has three accidents inside the building, it will have to stay at home until the owner can prove the dog has been properly housebroken.
6. Owners are also responsible for cleaning up after their dogs outside of buildings. Please keep a supply of plastic “doggie bags” on hand for this purpose. Dispose of droppings in external garbage cans and not in your office.
7. Owners have complete responsibility for feeding, watering, walking, and cleaning up after their pets. This responsibility may not be required of lower level employees or administrative assistants.
8. Any incident of aggressive behavior by a dog to another dog or a human is unacceptable and the offending dog may not return to work. For this reason, we encourage all dogs brought to work to be spayed or neutered.
9. Loud, repetitive barking will not be tolerated.
10. Please respect any employee who is allergic to dogs. If you share an office or workspace with an allergic employee, please do not bring your dog to work.
With your cooperation, we can continue to enjoy the presence of pets at El Diablo Systems.
"

Actually the owner's lawyer told him he needed an employee handbook and he downloaded this one from the net to save a few bucks. Before the handbook he was making up rules whenever he needed one, and changed them whenever he wanted to. The dog thing was later edited out. There may have been one employee that had ticks or worms. . . . and we had some that barked. Aggressive behavior by a dog was prohibited, but some of the humans were permitted to be aggressive.
 
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all dogs brought to work to be spayed or neutered.
.

This isn't the same place that required all employees to have a vasectomy or tubal litigation in support of the owners' feelings regarding procreation, is it? You know, the one where the 64 year old female employee went to court saying she did not want or need birth control.......
 
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A few tears ago I had to sit through a 2-hour meeting on how to differentiate between recording "work" miles travelled in the company car versus "personal" miles travelled. I promised myself at the time to make sure the answer was ALWAYS "no personal miles". (Used "personal" miles one time only. Learned my lesson).

I learned a similar "lesson" when I booked a hotel room with a hotel we didn't have a government contract with. It was less expensive and it was going on my credit card so it wasn't a billing issue. I got royally chewed and I never made that mistake again. My boss actually said, "don't try to save the state money, that is not our job". :facepalm: That was several years ago and I traveled 75-85% of the time but spent at least 25-30% of my time making travel arrangements; completing complex travel related forms, and similar tasks. It was a huge waste of resources for them to pay me to spend my time on the travel management tasks instead of what I was hired to do and skilled at.
 
I am curious as to why you would spend differently then you would if it was your own money? I understand you are not the only one who thinks like this, but I never understood why.

Because my incentives are not aligned with my employer's and I'm simply trying to do what's in my best economic interest.

For example: Should I take a flight that gets me back home at 7pm (so I can still enjoy the evening with my wife) or should I take a cheaper flight that gets back into my home airport at 10pm but costs the company $300 less?

If I was traveling for personal fun, I would probably take the cheaper flight because (1) I directly pocket the difference and (2) I have more time to enjoy myself at my travel destination. But when I'm traveling for work taking the cheaper flight doesn't give me a bigger bonus and hanging around at the office/hotel/airport for an extra three hours isn't enjoyable either.

Definitely agree with RunningBum:

Generally though, I felt like I wasn't traveling by choice, and also was there to work so I should not overly stress myself with a longer commute from a cheaper hotel, or an inconvenient flight.
 
This thread makes me feel better about the $12k business class ticket to Europe my megacorp just bought me.
 
My former employer put out a pets at work policy because an employee (at Corp) just started bringing her dog to work because 'there was no policy against it.' She never asked and her manager asked Corp what he should do (vs making a decision and acting himself like the old days?) other employees were almost immediately complaining and/or asking ifmthey could bring their pets too. So in a matter of a week or two, voila, we had a 1-page pet policy that basically said 'no pets at work...'
 
....But OMG. I'm being asked to insure my department of 60 folks who travel frequently are in compliance with a policy like this. On the surface it seems impossible.....

Anywhere that I worked the employee who was doing the travel and submitting an expense report was responsible for complying with company policy.
 
.... You would be surprised how many people treat company travel like it was free money. ....

In one of my jobs I was responsible for approving all expense reports of our 50 person business unit. One employee approached me and claimed that he was in a rush to the airport and forgot to release the emergency brake on his car and ended up ruining his brakes and wondered if he could include the cost of new brakes for his car on his expense report! :facepalm:

I told him I didn't think so but I would research it and get back to him. :D I wanted to tell him that stoopidity was not an ordinary and necessary business expense but I held my tongue.
 
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My last employer just applied GSA per diem rates to all travel, whether for government contracts or not. Really simplified the paperwork for both accounting and the employees, plus it gave the employees a bit of a reward for giving up their late nights and Sunday evenings to travel for the boss. My current MegaCorp [-]slavedriver[/-] employer has a huge policy manual, and god forbid anyone could ever get per diem. Strictly expenses only, with tons o' rules as listed above.

My current travel plans had to be made before the job number was available (not sure why that takes two weeks). Ten of us are traveling and airline seats were disappearing fast. But since Policy dictates one must use only the company-approved travel agent via the corporate intranet, we couldn't get reservations because you can't book a flight without a job number. We were directed by the project manager to use non-approved booking sites and charge the tickets to our company credit cards (which the official site does anyway - don't ask why it has to have a job number since it doesn't charge anything directly to the company).

Sooo... as luck would have it, the tickets were bought just days before the closing date of the AMEX card. I had to file an expense report before travel occurred or risk not having the bill paid on time. Manager approved it, but I'm waiting to see if accounting pays it. And if payment is late by the company, guess who picks up the late fee?

Then there was the time, about 30 years ago, when I worked for a very large engineering firm in the nuclear energy business. I was on a long-term assignment and they would periodically fly me home for the weekend. Park at the airport on Friday after work, fly home, and arrive back at the temporary location on Sunday night. That's three days of parking, at the full daily rate of $3 in 1984. Some bean counter pointed out that the Red Book only allowed parking for the two weekend days. No problem. We opened our copy of the Red Book at the job site and figured out that taxi service was permitted. Now, the construction site was 50 miles from the airport, and maybe $50 or so each way. No problem! Not even questioned since it was In Policy. :LOL:

I've worked for very big and very small companies. Each has their advantages/disadvantages. Travel policy is definitely a disadvantage at MegaCorps. I miss the days when you could just stop the boss (or even the CEO) in the hallway and just run something by them. "Hey, can I book my tickets on Orbitz, it will save money?" "Sure, if it's cheaper go for it."

FIRE is one day closer each day.
 
They accountants stopped everyone under VP level from travelling back in 2001. Now we are getting dinged for having long conference calls. At least email is still free.
 
Not really a travel policy, but the office manager dictator who over saw travel reimbursements refused to pay for a direct flight from Philadelphia to Washington D.C., on an all business trip. It would have cost each of us over $100 had we taken it. Instead, we ended up flying to Detroit or some other place and then to Washington D.C. To top things off, she took a personal side trip that cost an additional $68 and got reimbursed for it.
 
I guess I don't understand your complaint. Why would one fly from Philly to DC? Isn't it ~2 hours by train?
 
I am curious as to why you would spend differently then you would if it was your own money? I understand you are not the only one who thinks like this, but I never understood why.

I now spend much more freely on business travel than in the past which is generally much more than I would spend on my own dime.

  • If it was personal travel but too expensive for me, I just would not go, alter dates, etc. This is not possible with my business travel.
  • [Almost] No one would hand over $1MM/year or more for my company's services if they witnessed how I lived at home most of the time:
    • 10 year old clothes
    • 15 year old truck
    • Subway and salad bars for daytime dining out
  • I am placing a higher and higher value on my time as the years go by; at some point soon, that value will almost certainly exceed what anyone else is willing to pay me for said time. For the immediate future, I will continue to fly more expensive flights on occasion to avoid losing entire weekend/vacation days to company travel.


Even having said all of the above, I am sure that I still spend less than the average traveler in my company: I do take public transit in cities where it is convenient and familiar if I am not entertaining customers; I will also amend my travel plans when costs get completely out of control...unless my CEO specifically tells me to ignore costs and book the flight. I have never booked the best restaurant in a city to entertain customers either; but, I have willingly attended a few such gatherings.
 
Early in my career I did some traveling for several jobs. I was pretty frugal then and I kept up those frugal ways when traveling. No one at the company cared about how much money I was saving them and the only guy who ever noticed used it as an excuse to send me on trips no one (including me) wanted, because he knew I was such a cheap traveler.
 
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