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Old 02-12-2021, 09:30 AM   #81
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There used to be an old Mercedes commercial that said: "Meant to impress the people on the inside, not the outside".

As my signature says "Living well is the best revenge".

We live what some might call 'high' (within our means) but we do it only for our own comfort. We have a lot of nice material things but never, not once, did we buy them thinking to impress anyone other than ourselves.

I was brought up with a 'you won't be sorry for buying the best there is' mentality and 'for a few dollars more' is how we generally spend but it never even enters our mind on what someone else might think.
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Old 02-12-2021, 09:36 AM   #82
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We were brought to buy on value not price and with this old saying

'you buy cheap, you buy dear'

We are not yearning to be recognized. We have our own recognition....the ability to travel internationally to where ever we want and as often as we want. Which is what we have been doing in spades. My wife seems embarrassed when we review our investment porfolio.
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Old 02-12-2021, 10:42 AM   #83
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Honestly, no. Not because of some desire to be under the radar, but it just never occurred to me. Also, I don't think that even we realized that we were saving enough to get FI early; it was just what we thought we needed to do to have a normal-aged retirement.

However, I will admit to some manifestation of, oh, I don't know, pride? when recently announcing my retirement.
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Old 02-12-2021, 11:32 AM   #84
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We are pretty big on stealth wealth although did have a fairly large house due to the four kids and MIL living with us. But not in an 'exclusive' neighborhood and always drove regular cars.

The recognition I did/do enjoy is that of peers and younger colleagues asking for advice as to how to get to the same place.
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Old 02-12-2021, 12:33 PM   #85
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"drive old reliable cars with scratches and my wife jokes that I dress like a homeless guy"


I have to chuckle at that, and at myself sometimes. With a NW that I never believed I would have, I'm driving a $1300 Taurus wagon and especially with the pandemic, wear the same ratty clothes everyday until they don't pass the smell test anymore. Like others have posted, I think there is some inherent safety/upside to not looking wealthy. Been FIRE's 4 years now, just turned 59 last month.


I *am* going to buy myself a nice 1-3 year old SUV this spring however...... but I'll keep the wagon DW call's "shitbox" as long as it still runs...
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Old 02-12-2021, 12:34 PM   #86
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The recognition I did/do enjoy is that of peers and younger colleagues asking for advice as to how to get to the same place.

Yes. Or when they ask "How do manage to retire at 54?" I say, I decided that was what I was going to do 30+ years ago and lived the life needed to make it happen...
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Old 02-12-2021, 12:41 PM   #87
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Yes. Or when they ask "How do manage to retire at 54?" I say, I decided that was what I was going to do 30+ years ago and lived the life needed to make it happen...
I can relate to that almost exactly.

I retired at 54 with my three kids then aged 7, 11, and 17. Wife was stay at home mom ever since our oldest was born.

For 26 years my aim and lifestyle was to be able to retire early.
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Old 02-12-2021, 01:07 PM   #88
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Old 02-12-2021, 01:22 PM   #89
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Yes. Or when they ask "How do manage to retire at 54?" I say, I decided that was what I was going to do 30+ years ago and lived the life needed to make it happen...
+1. I have been meticulously planning for 15+ years. Getting closer by the year.
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Old 02-12-2021, 01:37 PM   #90
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I am fairly competitive in gaming and find that same feeling follows into finances, so yeah there is a good feeling when being recognized for FIRE success.

I am being honest here and not lying to myself.
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Old 02-12-2021, 02:01 PM   #91
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I have no desire to be recognized for retiring early, or having it be the main thing people associate me with. I tend to be a serious live-below-my-means type, but I think I might have blown my cover a bit, a few years ago. I bought a new house, more house than I need, with a large yard and a swimming pool. It's definitely extravagant, compared to what I'm accustomed to. But, it still counts as living below my means, if I could have bought an even fancier house if I wanted to, right?
We did the same thing and that's why I was so adamant about removing the pictures from the internet. I am sure I will hate replacing the fancy 48" stove (especially since it looks like the "cheap ones" are about $10K!) but it's quite extravagant to me as well as the pool. We purchased some land behind our house to fend off development and I was sure to title it in an LLC to make it difficult to know it belongs to us. Is this overkill? It is, but I really am all about the stealth wealth. Thankfully, our mailing address has a country bumpkin city, so most folks don't associate it with "nicer" houses.

Thankfully, our immediate neighbors pretty much keep to themselves, so there isn't a need to explain why we are home all the time.
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Old 02-12-2021, 02:05 PM   #92
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There used to be an old Mercedes commercial that said: "Meant to impress the people on the inside, not the outside".
Is this the same auto manufacturer that has the option to ILLUMINATE their badge?
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Old 02-12-2021, 02:40 PM   #93
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Is this the same auto manufacturer that has the option to ILLUMINATE their badge?
That was a $600 option on a 2014, according to the sticker in the glove box.
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Old 02-12-2021, 03:10 PM   #94
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I am sure I will hate replacing the fancy 48" stove (especially since it looks like the "cheap ones" are about $10K!) but it's quite extravagant to me as well as the pool.
I had a run-in along those lines at my house. In 2019, the refrigerator started to go bad. In the past whenever that happened, I'd just get rid of it. I'd usually have a spare in storage, that was handed down from a family member, or a neighbor or friend gave to me when they remodeled. Well, this one in the new house is extra wide, extra deep, has the double doors up top, and two pull out drawers for the freezer in the bottom. I looked it up online. It was still in production, and a new one was around $2500! Needless to say, I spent the ~$300 to get this one fixed!

While I could have gotten away with just finding another hand-me-down at the old place, I can't do that at the new place. I mean, I could if I really wanted to, but the kitchen is just too nice and upscale, so it would junk it up.

I guess that's one problem with going upscale. It's not just the cost of entry, but the maintenance/replacement costs, as well. Sort of like a luxury car, I guess.
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Old 02-12-2021, 03:19 PM   #95
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Old 02-12-2021, 03:21 PM   #96
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That was a $600 option on a 2014, according to the sticker in the glove box.
Jeezus Chryler...I think a '49 DeSoto would light up its hood ornament (of Fernando) as standard equipment!
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Old 02-12-2021, 08:04 PM   #97
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Never...I have seen people close to other family members who made a lot of money & spent it via a high-consumption lifestyle targeted by every huckster & scammer out there.

I would rather people think I was on disability & food stamps than FIRE.
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Old 02-13-2021, 02:55 AM   #98
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Same thinking

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Never...I have seen people close to other family members who made a lot of money & spent it via a high-consumption lifestyle targeted by every huckster & scammer out there.

I would rather people think I was on disability & food stamps than FIRE.
It is so much easier for people to not know our wealth. DW has been slowly letting on to folks that I am not working and that there were layoffs (there were) though I independently RE. I guess eventually people will stop asking about my status or I can say I have some consulting gigs. When she has said to a select few that I stopped working, they were speechless. Just better not to get into it. In the meantime, probably will need to replace our cars at some point, with the two of them having a combined age of 30 years. But especially with the pandemic we hardly go anywhere and they run fine.
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Old 02-13-2021, 05:28 AM   #99
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We have just the one vehicle, a 2005 Honda Civic with slightly under 140K km, (around 86K miles)...has a couple dings/scratches...who cares, it's just a freakin car. [emoji23]
My 7 yr old Honda Civic has wonderful memorial dents in it. GS1: (1) was learning to drive, mistook gas pedal for brake, drove under garage desk, dented hood (2) Backed into fence (3) Somehow scrapped side of bumper. DS pulled out dents (somewhat) and I got a can of spray paint. Ah, wonderful memories!!! Very few people at Synagogue ask me for donations
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Old 02-13-2021, 06:06 AM   #100
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We have lived our own life ignoring outsiders. Since we decided to Blow The Dough, we have been attracting a bit of attention. Upgraded our Escape to a MER. Sold our modest condo for a luxury one. Filling it with art of our choice.

But we think we will survive it.

We do keep our charitable donations anonymous .
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