Learning to spend after years of saving...

[kcowan]

Now I laugh about it, since the headphones have been awesome and I use them every day. I know I can afford them but the LBYM in me says I must be crazy to spend that much.

Plus you can use it as justification for avoiding a move to a quieter area!

 

[GravitySucks]

Yup...been retired a little over a year and still can't spend much. My one "extravagant" purchase was about $2000 on a nice bass....

I can't think of anything more extravagant than a $2,000 fish!

 

[Music Lover]

I can't think of anything more extravagant than a $2,000 fish!

How about a $300,000 pet fish? This National Geographic article is about the world's most expensive tropical fish:

The world's most expensive fish

 

[NoOneGetsIt]

Ditto. We have one niece between us and she didn't even send a thank you card for an expensive wedding gift we bought her. Boy, that's gonna cost her.

We will be leaving all of our wealth to a carefully selected charity (many are not that charitable in what they do)....people need to be more appreciative...

 

[NoOneGetsIt]

No, but I was almost a decade older than you when I retired with my millions. I was much, much more worried about money and spending before I retired than after.

I never was a LBYM type but by any comparison, I was much more conservative in my spending before I retired. That's why I saved!

Thanks....I need to learn to relax...we saved plenty and our expenses are low

 

[Ready]

I was thinking about this thread today and I decided to upgrade my Quicken for Mac from 2016 to 2017. I didn't really need any of the new features, and normally I would pass on the upgrade since it wasn't necessary. But after thinking about the comments in this thread, it occurred to me...what am I worrying about spending $40 to upgrade to the latest software that I use every day to manage our money? I know I can afford it, and if I don't spend it, it will just go to charity.

So now I'm up to the current version of Quicken and feeling good about it. But there really aren't any new features worth talking about...

 

[NoOneGetsIt]

I was thinking about this thread today and I decided to upgrade my Quicken for Mac from 2016 to 2017. I didn't really need any of the new features, and normally I would pass on the upgrade since it wasn't necessary. But after thinking about the comments in this thread, it occurred to me...what am I worrying about spending $40 to upgrade to the latest software that I use every day to manage our money? I know I can afford it, and if I don't spend it, it will just go to charity.

So now I'm up to the current version of Quicken and feeling good about it. But there really aren't any new features worth talking about...

Good thinking! We over analyze every phase too!

 

[DawgMan]

This thread is helpful to me. With a potential launch date in 3 yrs (55-ish), I continue to run financial and mental exercises on this. As many have said, most of us on this site are wired to be "relatively" frugal and have LBYM more significantly than others which is why/how you RE early. I say relative because there are some on this site living on $25K yr and others on $250K yr in RE. None the less, I'm betting both profiles applied similar principles to get to ER. I am fortunate to make a good living and still significantly LBMMs. My DW has more vices than me that can add up, but mine tend to be larger 1 time pops (I.e. New nice cars). Over the last yr or so I have started saying WTF and DW and I have been a little more indulgent. I suppose part of my logic is I am getting some of these pricier things out of my system before I RE so I can cross them off the bucket list. As we have been used to a certain standard of living, there is much I think I don't want to give up in RE. As all my RE income will come from my investments, switching from accumulation mode to withdrawal mode is already a mental block for me (even though I know that's what it's there for). At some point, maybe 1 yr out from RE I will do a more formal test run with DW to see how we really may spend in RE. Right now my plan is to create 2 buckets... 1) basic expenses fixed and reasonable living expenses as if we were living in say the last recession again (belt tightening) and then 2) basics + trips/stuff/indulgences. I wonder sometimes if it's tougher for those who live at higher incomes/spend rates pre RE to spend at similar levels post RE? Again, I know it's all relative, but would be curious to hear from those who may fit in this box and did they continue to spend at higher burn rate in RE (say $200K+)?

 

[Major Tom]

My DW has more vices than me that can add up, but mine tend to be larger 1 time pops

Can't help with your question I'm afraid, but this sentence popped out at me. I have long secretly thought that the ladies in my life tended to spend more money on things I considered unnecessary, while ignoring the fact that although, on a day to day and week to week basis, I keep my spending down, I tend to make a smaller number of discretionary purchases, but on bigger ticket items. In my case, the purchases were mainly ham radio and photography gear.

I wonder if that's a typical difference between the way men and women make their discretionary purchases, as our toys tend to be more expensive? I'm wary of over-generalizing though, as I know both men and women who don't conform to this pattern. I also know someone who is gender-fluid, who seems to spend quite a lot on clothes and make-up, which serves to confuse my hastily-constructed "model" of spending patterns even more

 

[W2R]

Can't help with your question I'm afraid, but this sentence popped out at me. I have long secretly thought that the ladies in my life tended to spend more money on things I considered unnecessary, while ignoring the fact that although, on a day to day and week to week basis, I keep my spending down, I tend to make a smaller number of discretionary purchases, but on bigger ticket items. In my case, the purchases were mainly ham radio and photography gear.

I wonder if that's a typical difference between the way men and women make their discretionary purchases, as our toys tend to be more expensive? I'm wary of over-generalizing though, as I know both men and women who don't conform to this pattern. I also know someone who is gender-fluid, who seems to spend quite a lot on clothes and make-up, which serves to confuse my hastily-constructed "model" of spending patterns even more

I have noticed on my Amazon thread and elsewhere that some guys seem to buy a lot of cheap stuff for repairs or potential repairs of other items, and things such as wires and connectors, parts, odd tools with a single obscure purpose, and so on. So maybe these don't count as discretionary purchases to these guys, but in this disposable age, repairs often don't pay off even though they may be fun. These repair items do add up and somehow I don't seem to need all those many cheap repair items in order to live my life. Usually I just throw whatever-it-is away and look for sales on a new one and that is usually cheaper than doing the repair in the first place. So anyway, I view these repair parts and tools as totally discretionary.

Not to say that I don't fritter my money away on small stuff, too! I do. Small stuff, large stuff, you name it.

 

[Fedup]

I don't buy clothes nor cosmetics anymore. Even I bought something, like bikinis for my trip to Hawaii, it's been unopened for months. One of these days I will open it before my trip.
Same for my husband when it comes to car. He used to rally in UK. When I googled top 50 rally drivers in UK, one of them mentioned my husband as the guy who he first started with. That said, even when I first married to him, sans kids, I suggested that he must have his toys before we have kids and he didn't seem interested. So not all men are in big ticket item.

 

[Amethyst]

I belong to several needlework and quilting forums. These are mostly (though not entirely) populated by women. The older, more traditional women, who did not earn their own money, are forever making jokes about hiding enormous fabric purchases from "hubby."

Good cotton quilting fabric from a name-brand maker (quality printing of an artist's original design) runs $12.50 per yard and up. And there are those $5,000 sewing machines...

Can't help with your question I'm afraid, but this sentence popped out at me. I have long secretly thought that the ladies in my life tended to spend more money on things I considered unnecessary, while ignoring the fact that although, on a day to day and week to week basis, I keep my spending down, I tend to make a smaller number of discretionary purchases, but on bigger ticket items. In my case, the purchases were mainly ham radio and photography gear.

I wonder if that's a typical difference between the way men and women make their discretionary purchases, as our toys tend to be more expensive? I'm wary of over-generalizing though, as I know both men and women who don't conform to this pattern. I also know someone who is gender-fluid, who seems to spend quite a lot on clothes and make-up, which serves to confuse my hastily-constructed "model" of spending patterns even more

 

[Major Tom]

I have noticed on my Amazon thread and elsewhere that some guys seem to buy a lot of cheap stuff for repairs or potential repairs of other items, and things such as wires and connectors, parts, odd tools with a single obscure purpose, and so on. So maybe these don't count as discretionary purchases to these guys, but in this disposable age, repairs often don't pay off even though they may be fun. These repair items do add up and somehow I don't seem to need all those many cheap repair items in order to live my life. Usually I just throw whatever-it-is away and look for sales on a new one and that is usually cheaper than doing the repair in the first place. So anyway, I view these repair parts and tools as totally discretionary.

Not to say that I don't fritter my money away on small stuff, too! I do. Small stuff, large stuff, you name it.

It's a good point. Perhaps some guys, while thinking of DW's discretionary purchases as being unnecessary, will purchase an obscure tool under the premise that is a practical acquisition. In reality, they are mainly fulfilling a desire to collect tools, effectively making it a hobby purchase.

 

[Meadbh]

It's a good point. Perhaps some guys, while thinking of DW's discretionary purchases as being unnecessary, will purchase an obscure tool under the premise that is a practical acquisition. In reality, they are mainly fulfilling a desire to collect tools, effectively making it a hobby purchase.

This. Discretion is in the eye of the beholder.

 

[Danmar]

My DW buys lots of stuff but I don't ever see the bills or CC. My personal purchases are less frequent but much larger and are included in our consolidated budget. Her's are not. She has her own income and pays for her own stuff. Every once in a while I buy a big toy like a boat or new car. This usually causes a bit of a "discussion". I never discuss her stuff other than to say "it looks great".

 

[W2R]

My DW buys lots of stuff but I don't ever see the bills or CC. My personal purchases are less frequent but much larger and are included in our consolidated budget. Her's are not. She has her own income and pays for her own stuff. Every once in a while I buy a big toy like a boat or new car. This usually causes a bit of a "discussion". I never discuss her stuff other than to say "it looks great".

(bolded emphasis mine)

Smart man!!!

 

[Hermit]

It's a good point. Perhaps some guys, while thinking of DW's discretionary purchases as being unnecessary, will purchase an obscure tool under the premise that is a practical acquisition. In reality, they are mainly fulfilling a desire to collect tools, effectively making it a hobby purchase.

All of my tool purchases are absolute necessities.

 

[Major Tom]

All of my tool purchases are absolute necessities.

 

[hesperus]

We also have this same spending 'problem'. Have portfolio and assets in upper 7 figures with a healthy six figure annual dividend income. But we are spending much less than we could, as if we had a quarter of that. Haven't touched any principal, and still reinvesting most of the dividends. With no children, we have no worries about legacy, so we are looking at ways to ratchet up the enjoyment of the money. We did just buy a nice property up in Silverton, Colorado, and also planning a two week ski trip to austria next winter w/first class travel and all the trimmings. So we're making progress, but old behaviors die hard.

 

[Chuckanut]

Interesting Article in last Monday's (4/24/2017) WSJ on this subject. I will post a link, but be warned it is behind a paywall:

https://www.wsj.com/articles/the-mental-mistakes-we-make-with-retirement-spending-1492999921

Imagine spending a lifetime acquiring habits that offer the promise of a longer, happier and more fulfilling life. Then imagine that to have that fulfilling life, you suddenly must abandon all those habits.

Not easy, is it? But that’s what happens when people go from work to retirement, from saving money to spending it. Too often, the same personality traits that facilitate saving for retirement become impediments when it is time to spend that money. The mental tricks we employ while working become mental mistakes when we move into the next phase of our lives.

The result isn’t merely a nuisance. It can lead to a much less satisfying retirement—one in which people spend too little money and spend it on the wrong things, as well as take on too much investment risk. It can greatly reduce the happiness of later life, a time when many people have the time and money (and wisdom) to enjoy their lives in a way they never could before.

 

[NoOneGetsIt]

I think this problem is well explained in the WSJ quote! We BOTH have saving traits (I'm the DW) the good news is my DH just changed the oil on his 2003 tundra and my 2005 Honda tonite and said "we have just too much money to have old cars like this...progress!

 

[RobbieB]

Any excuse to buy a new tool is a good excuse.

Man Law -

 

[kgtest]

For me it was easy and it simplifies my life.

Take tools for instance. I used to agonize over value and cheap out all the time. The stuff broke often and I just tossed it and bought another.

Now I just buy the most expensive stuff they have -

Every post you make reminds me of how I am going to model my retirement after yours. You sound like a fun guy that could get in a lot of trouble, especially with a guy like me around you

 

[Hermit]

We also have this same spending 'problem'. Have portfolio and assets in upper 7 figures with a healthy six figure annual dividend income. But we are spending much less than we could, as if we had a quarter of that. Haven't touched any principal, and still reinvesting most of the dividends. With no children, we have no worries about legacy, so we are looking at ways to ratchet up the enjoyment of the money. We did just buy a nice property up in Silverton, Colorado, and also planning a two week ski trip to austria next winter w/first class travel and all the trimmings. So we're making progress, but old behaviors die hard.

20 years ago Silverton was not an expensive area. It was pretty remote in the winter. Do they have skiing there now?

 

[Sojourner]

I wonder sometimes if it's tougher for those who live at higher incomes/spend rates pre RE to spend at similar levels post RE? Again, I know it's all relative, but would be curious to hear from those who may fit in this box and did they continue to spend at higher burn rate in RE (say $200K+)?

I was one of those making a hefty salary with large annual bonuses prior to semi-retiring a few years ago, and I was routinely spending far, far less than 50% of that income. Now, in semi ER mode, my spending seems to be roughly the same as it was before. I seem to have a spending "set point" of around $40k/year that my brain just does not feel comfortable deviating from... but I'm hoping I can train it over time to be more like our free-spending RobbieB.

We also have this same spending 'problem'. Have portfolio and assets in upper 7 figures with a healthy six figure annual dividend income. But we are spending much less than we could, as if we had a quarter of that. Haven't touched any principal, and still reinvesting most of the dividends. With no children, we have no worries about legacy, so we are looking at ways to ratchet up the enjoyment of the money.

Pretty much in the same boat here, albeit a smaller boat. I too am spending far less than I could and haven't really tapped into principal yet, and without any natural heirs I suspect I will be leaving a large inheritance to several charities and/or lucky friends, distant relatives, etc. A "high class problem", some would say, but still it's something I sort of struggle with. Honestly, though, I'm pretty happy with my spending and don't feel I'm depriving myself in any significant way. I have been loosening the purse strings a bit more over the past year, and I hope this continues. Definitely somewhat of a learning process for me, going from an ultra-ultra saver for my entire adult life to more of a "free spender" now that the saving phase is behind me.