Life Reflection: Would you do anything differently?

[BeachOrCity]

I saw this recently. Thought is was thought provoking.....

[Badger]

It hasn't always been perfect. There were bumps (a divorce and getting layed off) along the way that sometimes were difficult. But nothing that I wasn't able to handle given time. Eventually these turned out to be good things as I met a great life companion and obtained a teaching position at a local college that I had been interested in since college days.

Don't think I would change anything. I have had too many life experiences and challenges that have given me joy, satisfaction, and a feeling of accomplishment.

Now if I could just get past some health issues so I can continue with the time I have left.

Cheers!

[DrRoy]

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I wish we had spent more on frivolous things, like vacations, when we were younger. No, seriously. They aren't as much fun when you are older.

This is not the case at all for me. DW and I did take some great trips along the way while w**rking, but I enjoy travel much more now because I don't have any worry or distraction from the kids or job.

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It hasn't always been perfect. There were bumps along the way that sometimes were difficult. But nothing that I wasn't able to handle given time. Eventually some of these turned out to be good things. Don't think I would change anything. I have had too many life experiences and challenges that have given me joy, satisfaction, and a feeling of accomplishment.

I am quite happy and satisfied now. There are some things that I can think of wanting to do differently, but what if that would have changed where I ended up for the worse? I wouldn't roll the dice on it.

[scrabbler1]

While I am very happy the way things turned out for me, there are a few things I would have done differently over the years.


I was saving up money fiercely in the late 1980s, leading up to my buying the co-op apartment I have been living in for the last 28 years. But had I stayed in the crummy rental I was living in for one more year, I would have been able to afford to buy a one-bedroom apartment instead of a studio. At the time, in early 1989, the real estate market was strong, and interest rates were high. But by late 1989 and early 1990, interest rates had fallen a lot, and apartment prices had topped out and begun to fall some. The combination of these things would have made it very likely I could have bought a bigger apartment with a more affordable mortgage for the same amount of money.


The maintenance on the apartment would have been nearly 50% higher, though. This would have eaten into the surplus I had most moths in the 1990s and through today. Would this have had a big impact on my ability to ER in late 2008? My expenses would have been higher.


However, I would have done something else different to offset this increase in expenses. In the early 2000s, when the company stock was beginning to take off, I had sold back to the company the maximum percentage of shares to minimize the risk of having a lot of my 401k money in one place. (Once sold, they can't be repurchased.) Remind you, this was back during the Enron days when lots of people who owned too much company stock got wiped out when their company went under. My company was a strong, thriving company whose stock price skyrocketed the whole time. I ended up selling back about 1/3 of my total shares, so if I had held them, I would have cashed out an extra $130k. My IRA is bigger because I did this, but not by nearly as much. My ER plan was not yet in full speed at the time, so trying to maximize my after-tax portfolio was not a primary goal.


There are a few things I would have done differently with some women I dated years ago, but I doubt any of them would have affected my current status with my ladyfriend. I would have a lot more fun LOL!


When I weigh these things against all the things which went right, there is no comparison. A list of all the right decisions I made, and the many lucky things which happened along the way, would be much longer.

[Jeffman52]

Due to the poverty of my parents/grandparents, I never thought I would have been as successful as I am today. There are some things I might have done differently on the larger scale but I wouldn't be who I am today without learning from those.

Some small things.

I quit smoking around 34 years old. But I would never have picked up that terrible habit that will give me end of life breathing issues.

I would have divorced my first wife earlier. Not sure what I was waiting on. There were some miserable years there. But again the wait and timing might be what brought my DW and I together at the right time.

Financially, I would have saved earlier. Not trusted my First Wife with the bills. I would never have short-circuited my 401K to get out of debt and allow my FW to make sure that got done. Obviously it didn't, and I wasted a ton of money there with little to show for it.

Hopefully 10 years from now, I'm not saying, I wished I had FIRE'd earlier. I'm staying the course for 4 more years to RE at 59. Unless the stock market continues at this ridiculous pace, it which case I might re-evaluate.

[ChiliPepr]

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Originally Posted by EvrClrx311 I'm 35 and still 15-20 decades away from my FIRE plans.

Wow! you have a long way to go!

[EvrClrx311]

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Originally Posted by ChiliPepr Wow! you have a long way to go!

good catch... I originally wrote 1-2 decades, then decided 15-20 years was more accurate

In 15-20 decades I would think I'll be entirely free from monetary worries and cares.

Read every post above. So great to hear all of these different perspectives. Already seeing some themes. I bought my first "new" car four years ago, and I suspect it'll be my last. One I hadn't considered is the relationships we hold. I put a lot of weight into my friendships and relationships, but can appreciate how on a longer scale of life, there are only a subset that'll be there for the long haul. Those are the important ones to foster and take care of. I suppose character is built in all forms of living (including the relationships that leave us) however our sense of place in the world is carried more heavily by those we keep along for the ride. I'm in a phase of life where I'm surrounded myself by equally passionate people... I think passions in life are the key to happy living. Job and money is a necessary evil to award the time to pursue them.

At this point... looking back at the last 15 years, my time coaching adolescents in sports has been incredible rewarding. I gave it up a couple years ago because my daughters are at those magic ages (6 and 8) where my focus needs to be there for them - I still see parents of some of the kids I coach in the community who stop me to say what a positive impact I was on their child, in areas that extended outside of the sport (working hard to achieve goals in life was my driving message for them in the sport). I appreciate this kind of thing way more so than the accolades and accomplishments I've been giving in my job. It's interesting... I had a debate with my father 5 years ago... he was telling me to quit coaching and because he was afraid it was holding back my career. I told him, "what's the point of the career, if I'm not doing this sort of thing that adds value and meaning to me life"

These kinds of awarenesses comes from this kind of question, towards people like you all. I posed a similar question on a forum years ago and it woke me up to these things. For that I'm grateful

[ncbill]

Wish I would have switched majors to get the ROTC scholarship.

Military service post-graduation is how my kids are paying for their undergraduate degrees, hopefully med school as well for my oldest.

[Scuba]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeachOrCity I saw this recently. Thought is was thought provoking.....

Like this chart, thanks for sharing!

[Danmar]

It’s pretty easy to come up with financial or investment issues you might have handled differently. Ie sell everything in 2007 and buy it back in 2009. Buy Apple, Google, Amazon, Facebook early and hold. Hardly a revelation though. Much more interesting are the personal things we decide on, like education, career, employer, spouse, etc. In many cases we simply “fall” into these important choices. Life is so uncertain, wonderful though.

[FreeBear]

Very good thread! I started saving as soon as I left grad school, but most just went toward a house and 401K match. By my early 30's I realized my shelf life in corporate America was very limited and I started saving for FIRE in my 50's.

I opened up a taxable account at a discount brokerage. They had a primitive retirement calculator. I wish I had access to a historic calculator like Firecalc and had been aware of the Trinity SWR study. With these powerful tools, I would have been more motivated to save harder and get out early than my 50's as predicted.

Around 2009 the market and work woes discouraged me, although I kept on saving mechanically. I lost hope of ever getting out. Fast forward a few years, I married my DW, who shares my same financial values, and the market rebounded. I managed to FIRE at 45, 7 years ahead of schedule. My only w*rk project to be completed well ahead of deadline

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Originally Posted by davef This may sound a little patronizing, I wish I understood how to achieve my retirement goals earlier. I am frugal and had a good paying job so I lucked into saving But my understanding of ER came in my late 30s. Earlier than many but in retrospect later than I would have preferred. I have advised my children and acquaintances to select a retirement date and begin to live their life to achieve it.

Agreed! Got to plan for the end at the beginning. Often the end comes quicker than you'd expect, often due to forces beyond your control.

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Originally Posted by Amethyst I wish we had spent more on frivolous things, like vacations, when we were younger. No, seriously. They aren't as much fun when you are older.

Ideally, I should have FIRED in my 30's! Still I'm glad I did w*rk another decade+. Now, no regrets about leaving!

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Originally Posted by Mdlerth I wish I had followed my heart instead of my head in selecting my career. I chose engineering because it offered better pay and job security. But I ended up at a Megacorp which doesn't want its engineers to do engineering; they want to turn us into project managers. Zzzzz...

Engineering was always my first choice. A paid internship at Megamotors showed that I was suited for the field. I enjoyed my engineering career, but the issue is that management doesn't want experienced engineers in engineering. Most were pushed into project management, department management, and everyone senior was essentially technical sales. The fun jobs went overseas. I know because I helped move them there...

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Originally Posted by ncbill Wish I would have switched majors to get the ROTC scholarship. Military service post-graduation is how my kids are paying for their undergraduate degrees, hopefully med school as well for my oldest.

I never thought about the military or even government w*rk. I was too much of a free spirit.

Was the military/government worse than Megacorp or just different??

[6miths]

Lol. Everything! But on the third go round I would probably be back to similar choices. Have been very fortunate in so many ways.

[kaudrey]

I am an eternally optimistic person; and I feel that everything happens for a reason (not that we can always know it).


I should not have married my first husband (that was definitely bad for my savings plans), but because of him, I met my best friend.


I probably shouldn't have married my second husband (we got divorced earlier this year), but I value the time we had, and if I had made different choices, I wouldn't have my dog. Also, probably wouldn't have traveled to where I met the lovely man I am dating now.


Part of me wishes I had become a travel photographer or done some other exotic profession, but after 26 years in the federal gov't, I've been able to travel a ton, save money, and plan an early retirement with a good pension. I'll likely retire in 4 years at age 52; can't complain too much about that.


Overall, I've had a very good life - I've been able to do what I want, give back to the community in a variety of ways, and have great friends and family. It's been a really tough year for my family for a variety of reasons; but overall, regretting things to me is a waste of time.

[RobbieB]

I was going to say that I really wouldn't change anything, but didn't want to sound smug.

But I guess I should be smug as I look back and see I had good "Ikigai", whatever that is.

1) What you love - Always into math and science, designing and building stuff. Built crystal radios and go carts and speakers as a child.

2) I was good at the above and got a degree in Electrical Engineering so I could

3) Get paid for working in the automation field where I worked with customers to design, size and specify automation solutions that fit their needs. Because

4) The world needs automation. Automation makes us more competitive and productive so we can live better lives.

Sweet!

[Walt34]

The main thing I would do differently is not marry the ex wife (duh!). There were warning signs during the engagement period that I ignored and it would have saved us both a lot of grief had I cut it off then. OTOH, I wouldn't appreciate DW as much as I do had I not been through that experience first (next July will be the 30th anniversary) so perhaps in the long run the 1st marriage/divorce was a good thing. Even hindsight can be fuzzy sometimes.

I'm still undecided whether buying an airplane in 1975 was a good thing or not. I was 25, was making more than half again what my father did at his peak and really didn't know a thing about handling money. Financially of course it was a disaster, but I sure had a ball with it! I still treasure the memories of some of the flights I took and most especially the 1976 trip to Oskosh. Other pilots here will understand the significance of making that aviation pilgrimage. For that week Oskosh, Wisconsin is the busiest airport in the world and there was an air show every day. I'd never seen a P-51 Mustang (famous WWII fighter) IRL and was astonished that it wasn't a whole lot bigger than my Piper Tri-Pacer. I slept in a tent under the airplane wing and awoke at 6:00 AM daily to the music(?) of a Boeing 737 at takeoff thrust 50 yards away. It was fun at the time.

Absent those two decisions I could have retired sooner and more comfortably than we did. But I know other guys who had my same job and opportunities who made different choices and they will have to work for as long as they're physically able. So I certainly could have done worse.

[Dreamer]

I would have not have smoked from age 18 until age 32.

I would not have dropped out of college.

I would have started investing in my 20s instead of my 30s.

I would have had my children 2-3 yrs apart, instead of 10 1/2 years apart.

All in all, it has been a good ride though.

[brewer12345]

I would have been less excessively driven in my late 20s and most of my 30s. I did not leave much time for real life back then and I wish I had. Some one the things that would have been fun to do if I had given myself the time are no longer appealing.


I wish I had bailed on NY/NJ sooner. 35 would have been a better time.

[RAE]

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Originally Posted by CoolChange Spent less time on relationships that had no future.

+1 - one, in particular (girlfriend during college).

But I really don't regret my first marriage, even though it didn't work out in the long run. We had some good times together, but eventually just grew apart.

Overall, I wouldn't have made any major changes - it's been an interesting journey, and I'm very happy with where I am now.

[txtig]

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Originally Posted by Amethyst I wish we had spent more on frivolous things, like vacations, when we were younger. No, seriously. They aren't as much fun when you are older.

+1. We scrimped and saved to establish college savings for our kids. We denied our young family a lot to accomplish that. But, when the time came, we ended up financing college from our then current cash flow. The college funds were repurposed to ER, but it would have been nice to have splurged a little more when we (and the kids) were young.

[FrugalLady]

I wish I had saved more in taxable accounts instead of focusing on tax advantaged retirement accounts. At the time, I focused on retirement accounts because:

1. I was too focused on minimizing taxes and maxing out contributions to my 401K. I felt like I was leaving money on the table by not contributing every dollar that I could to my 401K and IRA's. My taxable account got whatever was left over.
2. While I have always been a diligent saver and lived beneath my means, ER wasn't even a thought in my 20's and 30's. I assumed I would work at least until 59, which by then my retirement accounts would be available to me. I didn't think about having a large stash that was accessible with no age restrictions.
3. I didn't envision that by my 40's I would have aging/ailing family members and that I would be the only family left in the area to help care for them.
4 I didn't ever think that I would come to hate my job and the company that I worked for, and that I would become burned out on working Full-Time in general.

Items 3 and 4 combined to finally get me thinking about actually retiring early. By that point I was 47. In my 30's, I had some vague notion of being FI independent by 50, so that if I chose to change careers and work for less pay, I would still be financially okay. However, I found that what I really wanted most was time. Time to spend with my family...time to putter in the yard...time to volunteer with a local dog rescue.

At the end of September, I was able to semi-retire at the age of 48. However, my taxable savings are a little under-funded. It would have been better to stick it out a couple more years, but I know I will never regret spending this time with my aging family. To compensate, I am working part-time so I can delay pulling from my taxable accounts a little bit longer. An added benefit is paid health insurance. However, if I had focused on Taxable savings earlier in my career, I would have had the option to fully retire instead.