Move or stay?

[SteveNU]

First a little background. I've been retired for almost six years and I'll be 62 this year. My wife has been retired three years and is 58. We have lived in Connecticut in the same house since 1983. We had always wanted to move to New Hampshire where she is from after we retired.

We have three kids, all grown up and self supporting, and two grandkids. They all live nearby and we help out babysitting the youngest who is three.

Lately we've been giving this some serious thought because we really don't like the taxes here and the overall way things are going in this state. But I ran some numbers and it looks like a move would probably only save us $4,000 to $6,000 a year in tax savings. Luckily we live in a relatively low tax town or the numbers would be greater. The savings would be nice but it's not going to make a big difference in the long run.

So the question is really one of would you move and start a new life just to save a few thousand bucks?


Pros:
We love New Hampshire and enjoy the lifestyle there.

Her brothers and her Dad all live there.

Lower taxes overall.

Cons:

Leaving our home of 36 years and all our friends.

Moving away from where the kids and grandkids are all settled.

Starting over with a new life at our age.

The hassle and expense of buying and selling homes and moving.

 

[Andre1969]

Personally, I wouldn't do it just to save a few thousand bucks a year. But, if you don't like the way things are starting to turn in your state, and you think it could get worse, that could be encouragement to move.

And, make sure you like where you're moving to, and that you think the new life will be better than the old one.

I recently made a move, although a much shorter one than yours. I'm still in the same state, Maryland, but moved about 15 miles away, and I'm in another county. It's a lot more relaxed, more rural, peaceful, and so on. Property taxes are similar, but for a lot more house. Of course, that comes with a bigger mortgage. I'll admit, I do miss the old place...some of that property back there had been in the family since before the Civil War. But, the neighborhood was changing, and not for the better. It just wasn't feeling like "home" anymore.

 

[Teacher Terry]

We have moved a lot for jobs and have been here 22 years. I would not want to have to make friends at this age unless moving into a retirement community where friends would be built in. If I had grandchildren I don’t think I would move away from them.

 

[joeea]

Lately we've been giving this some serious thought because we really don't like the taxes here and the overall way things are going in this state.

So staying might only yield a small tax difference, but would clearly change "the overall way things are going in this state", right?

The hassle and expense of buying and selling homes and moving.

We are in the midst of moving from one New England state to another. It's not all that much of a hassle. Definitely doable.

Ultimately, you need to decide what is most important to you. Nobody can do that for you.

 

[gwraigty]

With your list of pros and cons, I wouldn't do it. The biggest con is moving away from the kids and grand kids.

 

[Col. Klink]

I left CT. Best move ever. New Hampshire is beautiful. You aren't so far away that you can't visit several times per year. Of course, you will have to contend with the new tolls that Ned Lamont is having installed.

 

[Dinky]

How far of a move are you looking at? Could be anywhere from 50 miles (an easy day visit to be with family and friends) to over 200 (more planning required).
If it we're me, I'd probably make the move by renting in the new location for six months to a year while maintaining my existing home. If things are going well and it feels like the right decision, I'd then sell the house in Connecticut and look for my "last" home in NH. If not, end the lease and head back home.

 

[ShokWaveRider]

I do not think moving purely for the reason(s) stated by the OP should be a deciding factor. One could move to a LCOL state and have poor access to healthcare, no amenities, and numerous other deficiencies that taxes normally pay for.

One has to balance taxes vs Quality of life. Not all states are perfect, but some counties within some states are. Where we are we have the very best of everything we could possibly want or need, taxes are somewhat reasonable, everything is a compromise.

 

[Aerides]

The friends/family are going to be hard to replace. And I would not personally consider a move for taxes and "how things are going" in my state.

One thing that's missing for me: Do you love your home? Can you picture sitting at your morning coffee table when you're 75? Your back garden in the evening when you're 80?

If not, if it's not the home you want to be in for the next 20+ years, then move now, or in the next few years. Not necessarily out of state, but wherever you want to be.

 

[W2R]

I would move, but not because of the taxes... because "We love New Hampshire and enjoy the lifestyle there." and because your DW has always thought you two would be moving back to her home after retirement and might be deeply disappointed. What is her opinion? If she doesn't care, then that's another matter.

If you do decide to move, I'd recommend doing little or nothing and hiring someone to help with packing as well as the move. It's not as easy to move at 65 as it is to move at 45, and it is easy to overdo and injure oneself.

 

[bloom2708]

How about a "lock and go" condo or rental in each area. It maybe doesn't save you money, but a downsize, no snow removal/yard work condo (down price) paired with a rental might satisfy both sides.

 

[gwraigty]

I would move, but not because of the taxes... because "We love New Hampshire and enjoy the lifestyle there." and because your DW has always thought you two would be moving back to her home after retirement and might be deeply disappointed. What is her opinion? If she doesn't care, then that's another matter.

If this is to be looked upon as a permanent relocation though, I'd much rather be nearer to kids and grand kids than to brothers and an elderly parent. Reason being that as OP and DW age, the younger generations might be in a better position to assist if/when needed.

A relocation now to be nearer to an elderly parent - who will probably pass before OP and DW - will leave only DW's brothers, who will then be getting on in years themselves.

 

[KM]

I live in NH....and love it here too. BUT I would live in the middle of a desert if it meant being near my kids and grandkids.

But that’s me. I think you and your wife have to decide what you want. How important is it to you to live close to your kids and grandkids....vs live in another state that you think you’d really love. Doesn’t sound to me like money should play into it, as you can afford to live in either state.

If you’re still really torn, why not find a rental in southern NH to keep the “commute” to under 3hrs and test the waters first?

 

[brett]

We stayed. But we downsized to a home that enabled us to be away for extended periods of time with no concerns.

We did give some thought to relocating. Our children, grandchildren live in different parts of the country. Living near them was not a concern if only because they have both made career decisions to move. And they could move again. Currently they are at opposite sides of the country.

 

[Music Lover]

If you're not really sure, then don't move. Rent a place for 2 or 3 months and see how you like it.

 

[pb4uski]

I'm guessing that the replacement home in NH would cost less than the proceeds from your current home in CT? If so, that would be another factor to consider.

I like the idea of domiciling in NH and perhaps having a condo or apartment near the grandkids... or maybe an RV to stay in when you visit. How far is it from where you expect to be in NH to where the grandkids are in CT? Nashua to Hartford is only a couple hours but it could be a much as 4-5 hours depending on the specifics.

 

[Gumby]

The young wife and I are retiring in two months. We love Connecticut and intend to stay. Yes, we could move somewhere else with lower taxes, but in my experience, things are often cheap for a reason. I don't think we could get a better quality of life than we enjoy right now.

 

[SteveNU]

Thanks for all the comments.

Really the only reason we intended to move was to escape the high taxes here in Connecticut. But once I sat down and did some numbers I realized that we weren't talking about life changing $$.

My wife is probably less inclined to want to move as she sees it as an overwhelming effort and really would rather stay near the kids and grandkids. After living in the same place for 36 years the thought of packing up and moving is really almost too much for either one of us unless there was a huge benefit!

The house we live in is pretty well set up for aging in place. All single level with a basement. Wouldn't take much to accomodate us as we get older. We've put in a lot of $$ over the past few years to fix it up and there's not much left to do to finish up what we want to do.

Gumby I knew you would chime in. You're right though. With all the things going on here in Connecticut it's not a bad place to live and every place has it's issues.

In the end I think we've made our peace and will stay here near the kids and make the best of it. We are planning to go up north this weekend and do some sugaring with her brother as he has a big sugarhouse up there. Who knows maybe will find our dream house and change our minds!

Thanks everyone.

 

[aja8888]

I left Connecticut in 1981 for California and then Texas where we have been for 22 years. The children were toddlers when we left CT. Now they are fully grown Texans. When we left Southbury, taxes were Ok and the state did not have an income tax. Looks like things went somewhat to hell after we left.

Many of our long term friends left shortly thereafter and mostly located to NH, VT, or FL.

I still have a younger sister and two nephews in Waterbury who are stuck there due to family ties and economic reasons. IMHO Waterbury is gone to hell due to lack of jobs, high taxes and high crime.

We could not move back now (gone too long) and each yearly visit is a reminder why we want to stay in Texas. Now I still understand most of CT (and New England) is still "charming" and a good place to live if you pick the right town and can handle the high cost of living.

If I were you, and I assume you live in a desirable CT town, I would stay and just visit NH now and then.

 

[ckelly78z]

If it were me, I would look into a New Hampshire mountain cabin to rent occasionally (possibly buy), rather than completely uprooting everything you have built for the last 36 years in Conn, plus family, and friends.

Possibly get an RV, or travel trailer that could be left in a desirable spot in N.H.

 

[Offgrid Organic Farmer]

We bought property in Connecticut in 1992 and lived there whenever I was stationed in that area. After I retired we moved to Maine.

Follow your heart.

I would recommend you think about a vacation home.

 

[Dash man]

You can’t recover time you miss seeing your grandkids growing up.