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01-13-2016, 05:30 PM
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#21
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 1,608
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I'm so sorry for your loss. Take things easy and only focus on the things that must be done. You need time to deal with all that has come your way in such a short time.
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01-13-2016, 05:58 PM
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#22
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 410
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So sorry you are going through this.
I hope this doesn't seem too mundane to mention at such a time, but don't worry about the insurance. Worst case scenario, you have a 60 day window (I think it is from when your coverage ends, but may be from your termination date) to sign up for COBRA. You can sign up for COBRA retroactively if you develop a medical condition and need treatment during that period. And if you are in a state that has a health insurance exchange, you also have that same 60 day window to apply for coverage through the exchange.
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01-13-2016, 06:18 PM
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#23
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 47,473
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Lisa, my condolences. I am so glad that you were able to spend some time with your father as his time drew near. You are strong and will get through this difficult time; things will get better.
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities. - - H. Melville, 1851.
Happily retired since 2009, at age 61. Best years of my life by far!
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01-13-2016, 06:22 PM
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#24
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Northern Illinois
Posts: 16,543
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My condolences, Lisa. You have a lot on your plate right now. Remember to take care of yourself during this difficult time.
Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forum
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01-13-2016, 08:13 PM
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#25
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Moderator
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: San Diego
Posts: 14,169
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I am so glad you were able to be there, and spend time with your dad at the end. I had that same experience, and it is priceless. I am so sorry for your loss. How is your mom holding up? Spend time with her and just try to breathe... The end of job stuff will still be there when next week...
A friend gave me very good advice when my mom died - she'd lost both parents and had gotten frustrated with people having expecations of how she was supposed to feel and/or show her feelings. Grieve in your own way - if it means crying, cry. If it means going into overdrive organizing affairs do that. Only YOU know how to deal with the loss and when to cry. Don't let others impose their expectations or judgements if you don't look sad enough, or too sad.
__________________
Retired June 2014. No longer an enginerd - now I'm just a nerd.
micro pensions 6%, rental income 20%
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01-13-2016, 08:25 PM
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#26
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 930
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My sympathies on the loss of you parent, but glad you could get there in time to be with family.
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01-13-2016, 08:27 PM
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#27
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Sarasota, FL & Vermont
Posts: 36,264
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Lisa, so sorry for your horrible day the other day. I'm glad you got to see him off... I didn't get that chance with my Dad and I wish I had. One thing at a time.
__________________
If something cannot endure laughter.... it cannot endure.
Patience is the art of concealing your impatience.
Slow and steady wins the race.
Retired Jan 2012 at age 56
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01-13-2016, 08:50 PM
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#28
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 441
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Lisa sorry to hear about your loss. Please accept our heartfelt condolences.
Losing a parent is very painful but thank God you got to spend time with him during his last hours. May almighty give you strength as you grieve.
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01-13-2016, 09:06 PM
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#29
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Cincinnati, OH
Posts: 4,354
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Sorry to hear of you loss of your father. It is never easy, but time helps. Concentrate on the funeral and being there for your mother. It is always whirlwind of activity for that first week after a death. I know, been through it with both of mine. Especially with my mother who died very unexpectedly, my sister put it best: it was like planning a wedding for 300 plus people in less than a week, but you don't have any idea how many folks are actually going to show up. In our case it was near 500 for the memorial service. We did not have time to really grieve and realize the while situation until the following week or two. I imagine for you it will be similar since like myself, you are out of state to deal with everything. That makes it more difficult right away.
I know you actually volunteered for the layoff, and even though you know it was coming, it is still stressful in itself. Keep the health ins with the COBRA for now, and you can deal with other options once you get back to home and have had time to settle back to a bit more normal. Your boss knows you are not available right now, and those employer paperwork and leaving employment paperwork can wait.
__________________
The problem isn't artificial intelligence, it's natural stupidity.
You can't spend yourself to prosperity.
Semi-Retired 7/1/16: working part-time (60%) for now [4/24/17 changed to 80%]
Retired Aug 2, 2017; age 53
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01-13-2016, 09:36 PM
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#30
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Tampa Bay Area
Posts: 1,866
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{{{{{{{ Lisa }}}}}}}. Godspeed.
__________________
"For the time being no discipline brings joy, but seems grievous and painful; but afterwards it yields a peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." ~
Hebrews 12:11
ER'd in June 2015 at age 52. Initial WR 3%. 50/40/10 (Equity/Bond/Short Term) AA.
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01-13-2016, 09:51 PM
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#31
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 3,528
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My condolences, Lisa. You are having many stressful events. Take care of yourself. Be good to yourself.
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01-14-2016, 01:26 AM
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#32
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: On a hill in the Pine Barrens
Posts: 9,686
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~1⋅11~1⋅11~1⋅11~
Rest in Peace
~1⋅11~1⋅11~1⋅11~
Take care, and good fortune to you...
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Novel (unwanted) way to avoid retirement goodbyes
01-14-2016, 04:40 AM
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#33
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 1,867
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Novel (unwanted) way to avoid retirement goodbyes
When you think of your Dad focus on the good times you shared together..
A friend shared this thought when DW lost her Mom. "It will always hurt but I promise in time it will get better."
Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forum.
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01-14-2016, 07:03 AM
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#34
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,240
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I am so sorry. My brother was able to be with our dad when he passed away. It was a comfort to all of us.
It is hard to get one's mind wrapped around it.
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01-14-2016, 07:10 AM
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#35
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 2,518
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So sorry Lisa. Please take care of yourself.
__________________
"Luck favors the prepared mind"
Pasteur
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01-14-2016, 07:50 AM
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#36
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,509
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sorry for your loss. I lost my dad one year after college graduation and my mom when I was 41. Things happened so fast it was impossible to get there to be with them. I'm thankful you had the opportunity to be with him at the end... even as hard as it must have been.
I think you mentioned "finding insurance" as a short term task. I would assume you have your companies insurance through the end of the month. If you want insurance through the exchange, I believe you have a day or two to get it sorted so it starts Feb 1. Cobra is is another option that will give you time to get the paperwork in and will back date to the end of your company insurance. The catch... you won't be able to change it without a special enrollment event until the next open enrollment (next year). The other is off exchange (direct) insurance... not sure how timely they are at getting insurance instantiate.
Take some time to appreciate the times you had with your family/father.
Pax
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01-14-2016, 09:31 AM
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#37
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Lawn chair in Texas
Posts: 14,183
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Deepest condolences...
__________________
Have Funds, Will Retire
...not doing anything of true substance...
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01-14-2016, 10:27 AM
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#38
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 1,440
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Thank you everyone for sharing your stories and the wonderful words of condolence. I'm leaving the insurance to deal with next week.
I think I'm doing ok then I find myself in a room without knowing why I'm there or what I came in to do. My husband is getting into town this afternoon and I'm so looking forward to a huge hug from him.
One day at a time...(actually one hour at a time right now)
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01-14-2016, 11:06 AM
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#39
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 3,679
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Oh, Lisa. Take it one thing at a time, although you're dealing with two huge events all at once. I'm glad you knew to expect the layoff.
Losing a parent is something you can't be prepared for. Having your husband there will be helpful, even if it's just to help you figure out why you came into the room.
Big {{{hugs}}}.
__________________
Married, both 69. DH retired June, 2010. I have a pleasant little part time job.
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