One biggest "surprise" in retirement

[Alan]

Afternoon naps. Never did them. Never liked them. Went through every day with 6 hrs sleep. Now . . . a nap after lunch or around 4pm is the easiest thing in the world. Big surprise for me.

Exact opposite with me. While working I was an expert napper and when the kids were young they used to hate sitting next to me on a flight as I would be asleep as soon as the plane pushed back.

Biggest surprise is mom wanting to move in with us. Never particularly had a close relationship and i believe living 14 hours away has been a good thing. Still she is a widow and I feel an obligation to watch out for her. We compromised by agreeing that she should buy a house in my neighborhood once she sells her house up north.

Other than that the biggest surprise is my lack of ambition. Thought I would volunteer or find a part time paying job just to keep busy. Although I am occasionally bored, I am very reluctant to obligate my time on an ongoing basis. I love the ability to take off on a moments notice or do nothing at all for days on end.

First year of ER I volunteered, working 5 hrs a day, twice a week during tax season. I hated the commitment and haven't done it since.

 

[ksr]

Another is how much SS we will be getting in a few years. I planned the finances without trying to rely on SS but, in hindsight, this was a large mistake. It created needless financial worry during the market setback(s).

This is true for me too. For many years I stubbornly refused to acknowledge SS at all - I had the mindset that SS would never be there for me. Now that I'm approaching 53, I figure I darn well better receive at least something! It feels good, too, as it is a layer of security I wasn't really accounting for at the beginning of my ER.

 

[HFWR]

Negative...emotional stuff. When I FIREd, I was 1.5 years into a start-over-again-after-widowhood relationship that did not pan out. My first 3 years of retirement were marred by all that nonsense. My voluntary unemployment caused some assumptions about external situations that I did not want to be subjected to.

Now it's smooth sailing.

Somewhat off topic from the OP, but I was rather unceremoniously dumped about six months ago, and boy, has this year turned out much differently than I expected...

But, on the bright side, I've been refocusing on what's important to me, namely FIRE!!

 

[heyyou]

FIREd for seven years. The surprise was the joy of retirement. These have been the happiest, most carefree years of my life. I like who I am now, I'm patient for the first time in my life, I do what I want, when I want. I enjoy every day regardless of what I do or not do. I feel good all of the time. I had no idea that I could feel this happy, every day, for no specific reason. I've found who I always wanted to be, me in retirement.

 

[marko]

FIREd for seven years. The surprise was the joy of retirement. These have been the happiest, most carefree years of my life. I like who I am now, I'm patient for the first time in my life, I do what I want, when I want. I enjoy every day regardless of what I do or not do. I feel good all of the time. I had no idea that I could feel this happy, every day, for no specific reason. I've found who I always wanted to be, me in retirement.

Perfect! +1 +1 +1

 

[truenorth418]

FIREd for seven years. The surprise was the joy of retirement. These have been the happiest, most carefree years of my life. I like who I am now, I'm patient for the first time in my life, I do what I want, when I want. I enjoy every day regardless of what I do or not do. I feel good all of the time. I had no idea that I could feel this happy, every day, for no specific reason. I've found who I always wanted to be, me in retirement.

+1 Post of the Day!

 

[MichaelB]

No real surprises here either. Some people around me have been surprised that I was able to disconnect and adjust, and a bit of resentment (family, former friends) that I never quite understood. Having the time and resources to share with family, especially when there was need, has been rewarding beyond all expectation.

 

[Nords]

After a decade of retirement, the two things that still surprise me are (1) the people who think I'm (still) too young to retire and (2) the job offers.

As for "But... but... but what will I DO all day?!?"-- that question never applied in the first place.

 

[FreeAtLast]

I thought that I would want to continue to work PT, but I find that I have plenty to do. I don't miss work one bit. That is a pleasant surprise. I am getting more rest, eating healthier and taking care of things instead of putting them off due to a busy work schedule.

 

[Mulligan]

Another surprise I have had to dance around, is a delicate balance between doing what I want to do, and incurring the wrath of my GF, as she is nowhere near retirement. Since she has just taken a new job, she only gets one week vacation, so she doesn't have any flexibility even when I'm able to spring for the cost. I think her happiness for me being retired ends when I do something she is not able to. I try not to overdo it, but I don't want to be a prisoner to my house either.

 

[bruce1]

The biggest suprise has been the difference between how I expected to spend my days, and how I am actually spending them. It's hard to anticipate what will come along and pique your interest.

Ditto

 

[truenorth418]

Another surprise I have had to dance around, is a delicate balance between doing what I want to do, and incurring the wrath of my GF, as she is nowhere near retirement. Since she has just taken a new job, she only gets one week vacation, so she doesn't have any flexibility even when I'm able to spring for the cost. I think her happiness for me being retired ends when I do something she is not able to. I try not to overdo it, but I don't want to be a prisoner to my house either.

I am in a similar situation. My GF works a busy schedule, and all of my friends are working. The good news is I am totally flexible to adapt to their schedules. But in the meantime I have a lot of "me time".

 

[z-d-g]

Only been FIREd for 6-9 months (FI 9 months, RE 6 months).

POSITIVE: Because I owned a business where I was ultimately responsible for almost 1,500 other peoples businesses across America and had to eat the stress that went along with that, I fully expected to still be pushy, focused, rushed, and edgy for a while. Didn't happen. I can't believe how quickly I was able to take my foot off the gas and spend afternoons just sitting on my patio, listening to jazz, and sipping local wine without any idea what time it was, day it was, or what else was going on in the world. Also, I used to feel like I had to pack as much punch as I could into my weekends because I wouldn't have time during the weeks to do anything. Now, there's ALWAYS tomorrow and I find that I enjoy the days where we do absolutely nothing even more than the days where we go shopping, driving, looking, etc.

NEGATIVE: Most of this is tied to the fact that I retired at 35 and moved to the Wine Country where a majority of the other retirees out here are almost twice my age (with exception), but I am getting kind of tired of the "RETIRED? You mean you're still lookin' for a job..." followed by "but you're too young to retire!" At first, it was cute but it's getting old already. I guess it's the feeling of having to DEFEND being retired on my own money at such a "young age."

NEUTRAL: Considering how much money we used to spend in Manhattan while I owned my business with no regard whatsoever for savings or budgets (because we could), I am stunned at how frugal we've become in retirement. We spent $56k on eating out in 2011 while I still owned my business. Now we eat at home 6 nights a week on less than $15 a meal. We buy no toys and never even discuss travel. I thought spending would speed up, but it has significantly slowed down.

 

[FIREd]

NEGATIVE: Most of this is tied to the fact that I retired at 35 and moved to the Wine Country where a majority of the other retirees out here are almost twice my age (with exception), but I am getting kind of tired of the "RETIRED? You mean you're still lookin' for a job..." followed by "but you're too young to retire!" At first, it was cute but it's getting old already. I guess it's the feeling of having to DEFEND being retired on my own money at such a "young age."

Maybe we should start the Bay Area Young Retiree Club.

 

[rescueme]

Maybe we should start the Bay Area Young Retiree Club.

Or "Bay Area Young Early Retirees", AKA "BAYER".

The solution to your headache, if w*rk gives you one ...

 

[FIREd]

Or "Bay Area Young Early Retirees", AKA "BAYER".

The solution to your headache, if w*rk gives you one ...

 

[REattempt]

NEGATIVE: Most of this is tied to the fact that I retired at 35 and moved to the Wine Country where a majority of the other retirees out here are almost twice my age (with exception), but I am getting kind of tired of the "RETIRED? You mean you're still lookin' for a job..." followed by "but you're too young to retire!" At first, it was cute but it's getting old already. I guess it's the feeling of having to DEFEND being retired on my own money at such a "young age."

+1

See my signature. I get this all the time and it is really getting OLD.

 

[vttlarry]

1. Surprised how quickly new habits are formed.
2. I too like to start the day off with coffee and paper (online).
3. Still do not take my free time for granted.
4. So far, no financial surprises.

 

[marko]

+1

See my signature. I get this all the time and it is really getting OLD.

Around here, folks just assume you're a trust fund baby. "Retired early" is what we say to be polite, even when there was never anything to retire from. It's call "quiet money".

Having said that, you don't owe them an answer when they ask. Make something up....like: 'Financial Management' (which would be true)

 

[FIREd]

+1

See my signature. I get this all the time and it is really getting OLD.

I rarely see anyone over the age of 60 where I live, so I don't think a lot of retirees live here. Hence, most people assume I work like everybody else. I don't try to persuade them otherwise.

 

[scrabbler1]

I know I wrote this here once before, but my reply to the "You're too young to retire" (see my signature line) is this:

"They say youth is wasted on the young.......I say retirement is wasted on the OLD!"

 

[heyyou]

I'm a portfolio manager.

I have one customer.

He prefers that I do not divulge his name.

Not lying, just leading the questioner away from the truth.

 

[z-d-g]

Maybe we should start the Bay Area Young Retiree Club.

As long as there are no dues, meetings, or responsibilities beyond sitting on one's own patio and napping, I am fascinated by your ideas and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

 

[pb4uski]

I'm a portfolio manager.

I have one customer.

He prefers that I do not divulge his name.

Not lying, just leading the questioner away from the truth.

Since my duties are more broad and include insurance, accounting, bill paying, retirement planning, etc in addition to portfolio management, I am a family CFO but still only have one client who prefers anonymity since he is a bit of a recluse.

 

[FIREd]

As long as there are no dues, meetings, or responsibilities beyond sitting on one's own patio and napping, I am fascinated by your ideas and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

Newsletter? Sounds like w*rk...