Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Playing With Your Children
Old 10-27-2006, 09:12 PM   #1
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 322
Playing With Your Children

The other day some expert was spouting off about today's parents being so busy that they don't have time to play with their children.

I never played with my parents. I played with my friends or other family member's children.

Maybe my family was the exception but I don't remember any parents doing more than the dad playing catch with his kid (read boy).

They certainly took them to organized sports, but that was about it.

Are the 2000's that much different than the 1950's?

boont
boont is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Re: Playing With Your Children
Old 10-27-2006, 09:45 PM   #2
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Okanagan Valley
Posts: 808
Re: Playing With Your Children

I was born and raised on an isolated ranch. I either played with my younger brother or worked my arse off with chores, and other ranching/farming opreations.
AltaRed is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Playing With Your Children
Old 10-27-2006, 09:51 PM   #3
Dryer sheet aficionado
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 41
Re: Playing With Your Children

Parents high quality interaction with their children is extremely important to all areas of development of the child. I wasn't born until 1984 so it's hard for me to compare and contrast the amount of interaction or type, but in the 2000's there are many more dual income families which cuts into interaction time that parents can spend with children.

As a child growing up in the 1990's I spent the occasional night playing board/word games with my family. Although most of my time was spent with my friends though, I know my parents were always willing to play games as they enjoyed them too. For what it's worth, my mom worked part time as a teacher when I was a child.

Ponks
Ponks is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Playing With Your Children
Old 10-28-2006, 12:54 AM   #4
Moderator Emeritus
Nords's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Oahu
Posts: 26,855
Re: Playing With Your Children

Quote:
Originally Posted by boont
The other day some expert was spouting off about today's parents being so busy that they don't have time to play with their children.
Labor surveys have shown that parents spend less total time with their kids today, but more of that time is spent playing.

When parents showed up on the scene I don't remember thinking "Oh, goody, playtime!" The response was more like "Uh, oh, chores-- run for it!!"
__________________
*

Co-author (with my daughter) of “Raising Your Money-Savvy Family For Next Generation Financial Independence.”
Author of the book written on E-R.org: "The Military Guide to Financial Independence and Retirement."

I don't spend much time here— please send a PM.
Nords is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Playing With Your Children
Old 10-28-2006, 03:59 AM   #5
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: North Bay
Posts: 1,246
Re: Playing With Your Children

Playing catch, cards, and the occasional game of Monopoly (oh yeah, and kick-the-can when we were on vacation) was the extent of my playing with my parents back in the 60's.

I do about the same with my kids now, but I spend a lot of time helping with homework and coaching soccer and baseball.
scrinch is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Playing With Your Children
Old 10-28-2006, 04:13 AM   #6
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 926
Re: Playing With Your Children

Tempted to write an essay here. Will try to keep it brief.

First wife (during my workaholic years) thought our kids got short changed in this department. I never agreed and doubt the kids would if asked.

As for me, I always thought my folks did just fine. My Dad frequently took
me hunting and fishing, and when he was not available I went on similar adventures with my maternal grandfather. Just the other day I took
a pretty extensive on-line survey about my family life growing up.
Scored 100% on all positive issues (parental interaction/support/etc).
My entire childhood seems positvely idyllic, right up until puberty
anyway.

JG
__________________
Some of us have pretty stories, about good friends, good times and noodle salad.
Mr._johngalt is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Playing With Your Children
Old 10-28-2006, 06:08 AM   #7
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Outtahere's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 1,677
Re: Playing With Your Children

My parents didn't "Play" with us but they did take us places to do things and were always available for anything we wanted to do. We spent weekends at horse shows or at my grandparents camp water sking. Dad would take us deep sea fishing any time we wanted. We went to carnivals and local fairs, or down to the local ice cream stand for a sundae. Yea we sat and watched movies together like Sat afternoon watching Godzilla eat Japan. We played a lot with our friends but our house was always the place friends could gather. Dad would plow up a big pile of snow for a slide every winter, he didn't use it but he made it for us to have fun.

When I see parents today it seems like they are isolated and have to make play dates or the kids are involved in some kind of sport. It just seems different to me today than when I was a kid in the 50's-60's. I don't see kids playing like we did, it all seems so organized and antiseptic.
__________________

Dogs aren't our whole lives, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras
Outtahere is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Playing With Your Children
Old 10-28-2006, 08:55 AM   #8
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
TromboneAl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 12,880
Re: Playing With Your Children

Don't forget the earlier years. I'm sure that all of you played with your kids lots when they were between 1 and 5 years old. Roughhousing, horsie rides, building play houses with chairs, pay back the loan game, pulling them in the wagon, etc.
__________________
Al
TromboneAl is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Playing With Your Children
Old 10-28-2006, 10:47 AM   #9
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 802
Re: Playing With Your Children

I read stories to my kids every night when they were young.

The best part came afterward with my telling "the continuing excellent adventures of a make-believe family and their 2 cats".

I really stretched it and I can still see their wide eyes as we tumbled from one escapade to another.

Zipper is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Playing With Your Children
Old 10-28-2006, 12:43 PM   #10
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 3,525
Re: Playing With Your Children

I don't remember playing anything with either of my parents. However, my dad was gone most of my life and my mother did not have time to play since she was the one responsible for taking care of us 5 children.

I went to live with my aunt and uncle at age 11. I can remember playing different board games (chinese checkers, checkers, sorry, trouble etc), card games, ice skating once, swimming, playing baseball, sled riding in the winter. My good childhood memories are from 11 years old until about 15 1/2 years old, which is when I started working.
Dreamer is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Playing With Your Children
Old 10-28-2006, 02:31 PM   #11
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,005
Re: Playing With Your Children

Quote:
Originally Posted by TromboneAl
Don't forget the earlier years. I'm sure that all of you played with your kids lots when they were between 1 and 5 years old. Roughhousing, horsie rides, building play houses with chairs, pay back the loan game, pulling them in the wagon, etc.
"pay back the loan game"? You're still playing that one, huh?
justin is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Playing With Your Children
Old 10-28-2006, 02:41 PM   #12
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
ladelfina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 2,713
Re: Playing With Your Children

Quote:
pay back the loan game
Justin, you beat me to it...!

Seriously: my mom did play with us a bit; my dad, rarely if ever. That said, we didn't look to our parents to be 'playmates'.

I know 'quality time' is important, but the actual quality of that time is anyone's guess.. I don't think either kids or parents are always able to assess beforehand what the positive contributing factors are: on the floor playing with Barbie dolls or filling out paperwork and ranting about Blue Cross and taxes within earshot? Tough call!
ladelfina is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Playing With Your Children
Old 10-28-2006, 03:51 PM   #13
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 86
Re: Playing With Your Children

I was an only child raised by a single mom. I don't remember ever "playing" with her.

My two kids on the other hand expect my wife and I to play with them constantly! We're always facetiously reminding them that our parents never played with us.
__________________
I want to spend my last dollar on the very last day of my life.
ash is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Playing With Your Children
Old 10-28-2006, 09:26 PM   #14
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 10,252
Re: Playing With Your Children

I never played with my parents in the 60s and 70s.

I play with my kids all the time. As for taking them to organized sports, I coach their organized sports teams at their request, so I am playing with them alot.

I don't think things have changed as I remember mine friends' parents being around for various "play" activities, just not my parents. It's clear to me that some of the parents of my teams do not interact with their kids at all.

So I think it all depends on the family.
LOL! is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Playing With Your Children
Old 10-28-2006, 09:34 PM   #15
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: North Bay
Posts: 1,246
Re: Playing With Your Children

I've been reading to my kids every night I'm home for the past 16 years, but I don't call that play. My oldest is 18 and my youngest is 11. Now I read Harry Potter and Redwall and Treasure Island-type books with the 11-year-old. Great quality time! Sometimes I wake up on his bed at 1am with him asleep next to me and the book lying open on my chest.
scrinch is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Playing With Your Children
Old 10-29-2006, 01:23 PM   #16
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Pasadena CA
Posts: 3,339
Re: Playing With Your Children

Does helping DS, a high school senior, with homework count as playing?
__________________
T.S. Eliot:
Old men ought to be explorers
yakers is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Playing With Your Children
Old 10-30-2006, 08:39 AM   #17
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
FinanceDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 12,483
Re: Playing With Your Children

I play with my kids literally every night............DW does too..........

We even have "game nights" where each family member gets to pick the games, and take turn every week.

Of course, they are 7 and 4, so I'm sure that things will change over time.

Oh yeah, and we don't have cable TV, so I guess we are raising them like Leave it to Beaver...............
__________________
Consult with your own advisor or representative. My thoughts should not be construed as investment advice. Past performance is no guarantee of future results (love that one).......:)


This Thread is USELESS without pics.........:)
FinanceDude is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Playing With Your Children
Old 10-30-2006, 09:57 AM   #18
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,798
Re: Playing With Your Children

My father couldn't stand my mother so he was either gone on business or working his side job. My mother would play games with us every once in a while, when my father was out of town and her boyfriend couldn't come over. That didn't happen often and normally me and my sister would be outside playing with our friends. After they divorced and my father remarried, my father would take me fishing or hunting when I was older, but that about sums up the playing with parents.

As far as my kid goes. We play some games with him, but we remind him we are not his playmates, if he wants to play with someone go outside and make friends. If he had his choice he would stay inside and play video games all day. One of the reasons I got out of the military was to allow him to make and have friends for his entire childhood, that neither me nor his mom were able to have.
__________________
You don't want to work. You want to live like a king, but the big bad world don't owe you a thing. Get over it--The Eagles
lets-retire is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Playing With Your Children
Old 10-31-2006, 08:25 AM   #19
Full time employment: Posting here.
Lusitan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Boston
Posts: 620
Re: Playing With Your Children

Mostly my brother and sisters and I played with each other, or other kids in the neighborhood. But I do have some fond memories of playing tag football with my father, or playing "around" him while he worked (e.g. jumping in an autumn leaf pile as he raked them up!).
Lusitan is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Playing With Your Children
Old 10-31-2006, 09:24 AM   #20
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 209
Re: Playing With Your Children

Be careful about how narrowly you define play. My mother and father did some traditional "playing" with the kids, mainly games; cards and board games. However, most of the time they spent playing with us was spend canoing, camping, hiking, backpacking, shooting and mountaineering. It seems we spend every other weekend and three or four weeks in the summer doing this. If you think this is not playing, you need to get a life. This is how I play with my son whenever possible (I have added kayking), and it makes me sad that mom and dad are no longer able to play this way.
bbuzzard is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
How much do children cost? Olav23 FIRE and Money 63 05-11-2007 10:20 AM
Children and FIRE Lusitan Life after FIRE 9 03-14-2007 11:13 AM
Having children. Leonardo Young Dreamers 94 07-24-2006 08:18 PM
How many of you can RE now, but working because of children at home? yakers FIRE and Money 16 04-18-2006 11:44 AM
HSA & young children pinkmali FIRE and Money 0 03-07-2006 11:07 AM

» Quick Links

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 04:51 AM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.