Pre-Paying Funeral Expenses

[Dash man]

We did preplanning this past summer. The funeral home part is actually an insurance policy and you are not locked into using them for the services provided. If transportation of remains is required the funeral home will arrange it or work with a funeral home where the deceased is located to have the remains cremated or embalmed before transportation. Extra charges are likely depending on what is covered by the policy. We bought our plots from a large national cemetery management company that will allow us to transfer to another location of their’s if desired. If we choose to sell them, it’s on us, but they would help.

 

[Walt34]

I think pre-planning is more key than pre-paying.

Mostly this.

A lot depends on the circumstances. For FIL we prepaid (from his assets) while he was in the nursing home but at that point his life expectancy was measured in months and we wanted to make sure that he could have the funeral he wanted. There was the very real possibility that he would outlive his assets so prepaying the funeral was one way to assure that.

For us though, I think prepaying would be unwise. We don't know where we'll be or what our ages will be when that time comes. I'm 67 and DW is 60. It's very possible that she'll be around another 30 years so while I'm not opposed to prearrangement for us, prepayment would be foolish.

BTW, I was very grateful that my mother had made prearrangements. At a very stressful time, about the only decision I had to make was what kind of flowers to buy.

 

[Dash man]

Mostly this.

A lot depends on the circumstances. For FIL we prepaid (from his assets) while he was in the nursing home but at that point his life expectancy was measured in months and we wanted to make sure that he could have the funeral he wanted. There was the very real possibility that he would outlive his assets so prepaying the funeral was one way to assure that.

For us though, I think prepaying would be unwise. We don't know where we'll be or what our ages will be when that time comes. I'm 67 and DW is 60. It's very possible that she'll be around another 30 years so while I'm not opposed to prearrangement for us, prepayment would be foolish.

BTW, I was very grateful that my mother had made prearrangements. At a very stressful time, about the only decision I had to make was what kind of flowers to buy.

So your saying you’re grateful your mother made prearrangements, but calling those of us who prepay foolish?
Merry Christmas to you! But calling people foolish when you don’t know circumstances is unkind. Bless your heart!

 

[Walt34]

So your saying you’re grateful your mother made prearrangements, but calling those of us who prepay foolish?
Merry Christmas to you! But calling people foolish when you don’t know circumstances is unkind. Bless your heart!

No, I did not call those who prepay foolish. I said it depends on the circumstances. And that for us, prepayment would be foolish.

As usual, YMMV.

Bless your heart!

 

[RAE]

Here's a question: if you want to be cremated (as I do), but do not want embalming fluid pumped into you before the cremation occurs, will they do that? The whole embalming thing is disgusting, IMO.........I don't see why they can't just keep me on ice for a few days until they burn me up.

 

[Dash man]

Here's a question: if you want to be cremated (as I do), but do not want embalming fluid pumped into you before the cremation occurs, will they do that? The whole embalming thing is disgusting, IMO.........I don't see why they can't just keep me on ice for a few days until they burn me up.

I was told by our funeral director the only time embalming is required is if a body is being transported on a commercial aircraft. If it is cremated by a local crematorium where death occurred there is no need for embalming.

 

[travelover]

....... The whole embalming thing is disgusting, ..........

I agree. That's why I've arranged to be shipped to a taxidermist.

 

[frayne]

Here's a question: if you want to be cremated (as I do), but do not want embalming fluid pumped into you before the cremation occurs, will they do that? The whole embalming thing is disgusting, IMO.........I don't see why they can't just keep me on ice for a few days until they burn me up.

Embalming before cremation seems silly, kind of like getting clear coat protection from car dealer.

 

[Senator]

My mother had her arrangements all set. Cremated, no service or coffin. Total cost was ~$1,000. It made my life easier, as there was nothing to plan, nothing to feel guilty about, nothing to pay.

My father was a different story. I planned it when he was in the nursing home, so there was less emotion. My Uncle helped.
When my father died, the process went as planned.

 

[GalaxyBoy]

Compost pile for me! I personally don’t see the big deal of treating a cadaver like it’s still a person. Whatever it was that made a person (a soul or whatever) is gone.

DM went before DF so the grave was also already arranged. Now that the cemetery has my name and address, they are sending me all sorts of junk mail. Grrrrr

 

[Nemo2]

Compost pile for me! I personally don’t see the big deal of treating a cadaver like it’s still a person. Whatever it was that made a person (a soul or whatever) is gone.

That's my feeling too......when my late wife died the funeral director asked me if "I'd like to come down for a 'viewing'" (SOP, I guess)....I said "No, she's not there anymore".

 

[NW-Bound]

Funerals are for the living more than for the dead. Some good can come out of it.

A brother-in-law and his wife were estranged from their new daughter-in-law over some silly things, and the rest of the family did not even get a chance to meet her. My wife, upon hearing the story, said they should make up with their DIL if they wanted to see his son more.

The occasion came up when my father-in-law died. The DIL came to the funeral, and was introduced to the rest of the big family for the first time. My wife and I agreed that my nephew's wife was a good woman. They made up, and everything has been fine since. In fact, they were recently remodeling their home, and told us they saved a room specifically for my BIL and his wife whenever they came to visit.

 

[aja8888]

When my unmarried ex-wife died unexpectedly near us in Texas, no one except DD (by her) was around to handle the unplanned event. The Ex's two brothers were in Michigan and didn't want to be involved. DD was not in the frame of mind to handle this so I suggested cremation and then a service later and she agreed.

I made the call and for $900 everything was handled (picking up the body, the roasting, providing the death certificate and providing an urn for the ashes to be delivered to DD. Easy as pie.

That's the way I want to go out and either DW or DD will handle it. But there is no reason to prepay for the cremation unless one feels it's what they want to do.

 

[braumeister]

One of the most interesting ways to go out is the Indian way.
I had my mom's remains cremated at a local crematorium and when I went to arrange the details I was very impressed by how beautiful the building was. They had a room that was like a small theatre with the crematorium at the center of it.

Talking with the owner, he said he did a lot of services for the local Indian community. They gather and have a buffet (which he has catered in) and socialize. The deceased is cremated, and the tradition is to have the oldest son light the fire (nowadays that just means flipping a switch). As the flames consume the body, the relatives and friends watch and continue socializing.
Then they finish off the buffet and gradually disperse.

After seeing the very pleasant facility I even considered having the same thing for myself. But it probably wouldn't be as well received outside the traditional Indian community.

Another interesting fact was that when I had my father's remains cremated I used a traditional funeral home. When my mom died 16 years later I used the place mentioned above. The cost was almost exactly the same.

 

[Scrapr]

I agree. That's why I've arranged to be shipped to a taxidermist.

LOL are you thinking Head & Horns?

over the fireplace? Or over the Bed?

My FIL passed a few months ago and was prepaid. There was a bit of confusion (on my part) if he was going to the National Vet cementary with his brother. Or across the street with some other family. It turned out he was prepaid at the private cementary. He could have resold his plot if he wanted to go over to the National cementary. The process could not have been easier in a difficult time. It went very smoothly and was exactly how MIL wanted it

As for me I'm thinking just cremation and spread my ashes

 

[MRG]

Funerals are for the living more than for the dead. Some good can come out of it.

There was a new Megacorp C level who should have gone to his direct reports families funeral. Instead he sent me. Odd, but I met my teammates brother at the service. She'd often talked about him, never mentioned he was gay.

A year later the new C level told her to fire another guy who just came outa the closet!He was surprised when the HR lady came to talk about his future at the organization.

 

[Montecfo]

Compost pile for me! I personally don’t see the big deal of treating a cadaver like it’s still a person. Whatever it was that made a person (a soul or whatever) is gone.

DM went before DF so the grave was also already arranged. Now that the cemetery has my name and address, they are sending me all sorts of junk mail. Grrrrr

You make a good point. I am with you on keeping things simple, but celebrating the person's life. No need for expensive coffins for that.

 

[Clone]

One of my shop projects is to machine and weld up our cremains vessel. Probably 3" pipe with inset welded end pieces. One end will have a plate bolted over an opening for pouring in the ashes.

The big debate is if I should use metric threads or english threads...

The urn that I bought for my mother turned out to come from India. The quality was marginal and the threads were very light. It did the job, but I think mine will probably be made with M10 or M8 fasteners, no lock washers, adequate stretch length, and a reasonable torque spec.

The outside diameter should be reasonable enough that they can dig the hole with a post hole digger, drop in the canister, and fill it back in. We have the back side of the plot where my parents are buried. I think we can put 6 cremains on each of the two spots.

 

[Danmar]

Are your Mom and Robbie from the same blood line? Blow that dough! Dilley! Dilley!

Dom Perignon for everyone!

Ya, could be. My dear old mom really does like to “blow the dough”. She has enough for another 5 years or so. I’ve promised to support her if she runs out and I think she started to spend more recently. Spends $500-$1000 a month for “junk” from the shopping channel. Gonna have to talk to her about that. She has a wonderful Christmas dinner for us all each year at a lovely Inn. This year it cost $4,000 for 16 people. Extravagant for sure but she loved it,

 

[misanman]

Embalming might be indicated if a viewing is desired several days after death in order to prevent undesirable decay or smell. Or, the body can be kept in the morgue cooler until just before the viewing.

 

[Nemo2]

in order to prevent undesirable decay or smell.

Which begs the question..."Is their desirable decay or smell?"

 

[Winemaker]

When DW's grandmother passed, the prepayment annuity that DGM had purchased for her funeral, became a taxable event for us. But the ~$150 or so was much cheaper than us paying for the funeral. She was 96 when she past, outliving all relatives, and friends except DW, me, and our kids.

 

[Scuba]

My sister prepaid for her cremation. Made things much easier for the family at a time of emotional distress. She didn’t leave instructions for services so my other sister and I planned something we thought she would have liked and had the service a few months later.

DH and I haven’t selected a specific company but we do have our desires documented. There will be plenty of money available to cover the cost, although we might consider prepaying as we really appreciated how much easier it was for us when my sister did that.

 

[mountainsoft]

My mom is in an assisted living home, and can probably afford 6-7 years on her own assets. However, we are hoping to prepay her funeral expenses before her own assets run out. Otherwise, I'll end up having to pay the bill once she is on Medicaid. Assuming she out lives her savings, of course.

 

[Tailgate]

Prepaid (actually, paying monthly) for both my 88 year old DM and myself. Due to her age, she must pay off in 12 months.. no limit on mine, so I'm only paying $58 a month. Zero interest through Unity Insurance. $1,900 each, for cremation. I'm sure I could have gotten a cheaper price, perhaps through Neptune Society etc, but the local funeral home made sense for us. Glad to get both plans out of the way.