Re: Teach your kids how to ER while they're young
Bongo2,
I think kids are a lot less worried about careers & saving for retirement if they can see you succeeding at it. Our daughter is proud to have retired parents. Maybe she thinks she'll have an inside track someday.
She also knows that when she's on school break, we can do all sorts of things together instead of having to live her life around the parents' work schedule. Her brief phase of "Entertain me!" ended when we set limits, and she's happy to know that we're around when she wants us. (I think that she believes that we go into suspended animation when she leaves for school, and we re-animate a second before she comes home.) Since we're not rushing out the door on school mornings, she's learned that she has to be responsible enough to get her own butt out of bed. She's also noticed that we're a lot more fun to be around in the late afternoon/evening than we were in our working days when we had to stay late, slog home through rush hour, "enjoy" mandatory social events, etc. She's learned that we don't go out during rush hour, don't go to stores on weekends, don't go out to dinner on Friday nights, and don't shop for groceries on Saturday morning. She's learning that the beach is free, movie matinees are better without lots of snacks, and that she gets an allowance to fill in all the gaps in her quality of life. She's also learning to plan ahead and to not react on impulse. (Well, she's familiar with the theory, anyway.)
I tell her that she can ER just like me if she makes the same choices. Then I tell her about military academies & my sea stories, so she's still trying to decide if it's worth it. But she also knows that I'll be happy to help with budgeting, with investing, with living a frugal lifestyle, with consumer awareness, and with good money sense. We're doing those things now and then she can choose her own path. Hopefully it's a better one...
We did go through a troublesome phase of "Whoopie, we're rich!! Let's share the wealth!!" I pointed out that what may seem to be a lot of money at her age has to last us six or seven DECADES. She knows how to use an Excel spreadsheet so now she's learning about compound interest (and safe withdrawal rates). It's a thrill to watch reality hit her between the eyeballs, and she's deciding that half of her teenage income is going to fund her Roth. I think we'll have to encourage that initiative with a parental funds match.
She knows that I retired because I resented the conflict between the military & family life, and that I hadn't found anything else that I liked. We had a long talk when I got a post-retirement job offer at $75K, and she decided that it probably wasn't right for me either. (Teaching nuclear engineering. I gotta cut the cord sometime.)
I'd be a little concerned about your spouse's comment. Does she not want you around the kids all day? Doesn't she understand that this is her chance to cut loose and ditch you with the kids for a while? Is she afraid that she won't want to come back?!?