Retirement Housing Lessons Learned

[Brat]

Our first retirement home was ADA accessable except for the shower lip another mentioned. Our current home would have an issue in the bathroom but I notice that other residents have remodeled theirs to fix that. We would need to remove a bookcase we placed in the our hallway but that not a big deal.

It is true that children can move, a factor always to be considered.

In NW Portland I noticed several live-work condos with large multi-use spaces on the ground floor. We weren't looking for such a space but when I walked past them I thought that accessability to the upper floors would be an issue late in life.

 

[Midpack]

It is true that children can move, a factor always to be considered.

When we were younger, DW always expected to "move back home to New England when we retired to be near family again." It wasn't until many years later when I pointed out that 4 of her 5 siblings plus most of her friends and relatives had already moved away, and her parents would likely have passed on, that she finally decided there was no reason to move back "home"...life goes on bra.

 

[Culture]

If you are open to buying an already-built home, we found that you could buy one with a pool for the same price as without.

I am certain I want a pool, and equally certain I do not want the maintenance (time or cost). If I can get one from free, that may make me willing to overlook the maintenance.

 

[Culture]

We thought so as well. Jan 2010 we ER'ed and moved to Texas, same town as DS and 3 hrs drive from DD. Last year we went to England on vacation and while we there DD moved to Seattle.

Oh well, it was good while it lasted....

This is what worries me. We are 100% certain my SIL will stay in the area (this is my DWs only family), but my 18 yo son starting college in the fall, who knows? He claims he want to live here forever (he loves the hunting and fishing), but things change, especially when women and real jobs enter the picture . I know these things moved me.

My brother is nearby (in Austin), but he is always trying to convince his wife to move to another state.

 

[Culture]

We like Fort Bend County but there is not much that is pet friendly and it tends to be more expensive. Montgomery County and Waller County remain on the short list. Tomball is possible as well.

We are currently in Fort Bend and would like to stay there, but we note there are a lot more properties fitting our current criteria in Montgomery and Waller County, especially around Tomball.

 

[Culture]

Our basic location criteria (other than internet) is it must have a convenience store, gas station within 6 minutes, a grocery store within 15 min and a hospital within 30 minutes. This mostly leads to west of I 45 although the Lake Houston area is nice but houses on the east side of the lake fail the grocery store criteria.

I want to be within 20 minutes of a home depot (or lowes), a super walmart, HEB and an academy. 15 minutes would be better.

 

[W2R]

Another thing about moving to where one's children are - - - don't forget that in retirement, one has a lot more free time than the kids have. If they are in their 20's they are still working overtime, going to school, trying to find Mr./Ms. Right, and all those things that kept us from sleeping enough when we were younger. So, as much as you love them and they love you, it is at least remotely possible that they aren't going to have the time to sit around and chat very much. It would probably help to keep your expectations low in that department. And then, as pointed out by Alan in his post that I copied below, they may move and you may be away traveling. People are so mobile these days.

We thought so as well. Jan 2010 we ER'ed and moved to Texas, same town as DS and 3 hrs drive from DD. Last year we went to England on vacation and while we there DD moved to Seattle.

Oh well, it was good while it lasted....

 

[Culture]

A bit smaller home next time. This one is not grossly over sized but we don't use much of the space. We'd be just as happy with a smaller place with a similar layout.

I have tried to convince the wife that a smaller house is good. We currently have a 2500 SF 4 bedroom house and do not use three of the rooms (two spare bedrooms get used 6-9 weekends a year, and the dining room get used 2-3 times a year). When my son moves out we will have four rooms we do not use.

My wife wants a larger house with fewer but larger rooms. She also wants a dedicated media room which we currently do not have. I suspect we will end up going her way. She is pretty convincing as she regularly reminds me most of our friends are on house 3 or 4, and she is only on number 1.

 

[Culture]

I second the recommendation to rent first unless you are already familiar with the area you are moving to. Particularly in built up areas, different blocks can feel quite different. Living in the area gives you an understanding you just can't get with a brief visit.

I agree with the 100%. Currently we are only looking withing 10-15 miles of where we currently live. If we decide to move elsewhere, I intend to rent for at least a year. My wife currently want to buy/build immediately even if we decide to move elsewhere, but I think I can convince her I am right.

 

[Culture]

If there is a next time we will buy an existing home. In the end it worked out fine, but the builder's delays were more than I'm willing to put up with again.

I work a lot on residential construction and I have no interest in building a house. I have seen what a nightmare it can be. However, to get the features we want, we may have to go this route.

Most people I know who build a custom home are not interested in doing it again.

 

[martyb]

For our soon-to-be retirement home, we're looking to purchase a new (building's not out of the question) or nearly-new home in the 2000 sf range + or-, maybe 1/2 acre or so (would like to be able to drive into the back yard & hook/unhook the boat) and maybe grow a few tomatoes. Our kids are split between LA & NC. We'd love to live near them all, but it's not possible, so most likely we'll retire in NW Louisiana, near Bossier City area. Oldest DW & family live in nearby Shreveport. Our target price range for this home is $200k-$250k-ish. Louisiana property taxes are fairly low. Our home will be 3 bdrm, 2 + baths, 2 car garage attached and another garage in the back (for the boat). A pool would be nice, but only if somebody else does the work, and I'm not gonna pay them to do it!

 

[Brat]

When the kids form families they have less time for their parents but most have children and, let me assure you, the availability of grandparents to engage those precious creatures is important to them. A week ago we got a call: "Hey mom, do you have power? Ours is out, can we bring the kids over?" Of course! Then there was the scramble to child proof our home and make a quick run to the grocery for kid food.

When we are in our 80s and beyond we may need the kids to make sure we are well cared for. It is very difficult to do from a distance.

 

[capngeo]

You guys are making me feel inadequate with my 450sf “cottage”!

 

[Midpack]

You guys are making me feel inadequate with my 450sf “cottage”!

Our next house will be the smallest I can talk DW into, her lower threshold seems to be about 1300 sf. Location and quality are way more important to me than square feet. YMMV

 

[REWahoo]

Size is overrated.

I'm eager to see what the ladies have to say about this...

 

[Midpack]

I'm eager to see what the ladies have to say about this...

Where did that quote come from? I don't know what you're talking about.

 

[MBAustin]

One thing they missed in their renovations was how use of the place changes if mobility becomes an issue. They could have incorporated more mobility accommodations: larger hallways and adequate door widths, easy to use handles, planning for usage patterns that avoid stairs, accessible bathrooms, and the like at the time of their original renovations very easily. Instead they went through several additional projects as these became more important to them.

+1

It costs very little to incorporate such features into a new home or major remodel from the get-go, and a lot more to do it later on. It's not just important for the residents, but also for visitors. DH must now use a scooter at all times due to progressing MS and we are therefore excluded from many social events we would previously have enjoyed.

The concept of "visitability" doesn't get much press, but the idea is that a home should have one entrance with no steps (nothing higher than a door sill), access to a living and eating area, and at least one bathroom with a 36" door, chair height toilet, and room for a wheelchair. I'd add a sleeping area to this as well if the house is not 1-story.

Personally I think a 1-story house, preferably one-level inside (no sunken living room) is best for retirement as it is most flexible to various mobility issues. If only 2-story is practical, make sure it has room for either an elevator (residential elevators are becoming more common and affordable) or a chair lift up the stairs (more affordable but a bit of an eyesore IMHO).

 

[Katsmeow]

I work a lot on residential construction and I have no interest in building a house. I have seen what a nightmare it can be. However, to get the features we want, we may have to go this route.

We were so close to building but have really decided it just isn't worth it.

Yesterday -- to my surprise -- we saw an existing house (Montgomery County) that meets almost all my criteria. It is 1 story with only a game room upstairs. At least a couple of bathrooms could be easily made handicap accessible (important since my mother who is in her upper 80s may need to move in soon).

It is close to the amenities I want it to be close to (thank goodness for a Target with grocery store within 10 minutes) and even has the double shower that I wanted.

It really does have a number of criteria I didn't think I would get without building. It needs a few changes but nothing is perfect.

 

[Brat]

That is great!

 

[REWahoo]

Yesterday -- to my surprise -- we saw an existing house (Montgomery County) that meets almost all my criteria.

I hope it all comes together for you.

 

[W2R]

We were so close to building but have really decided it just isn't worth it.

Yesterday -- to my surprise -- we saw an existing house (Montgomery County) that meets almost all my criteria. It is 1 story with only a game room upstairs. At least a couple of bathrooms could be easily made handicap accessible (important since my mother who is in her upper 80s may need to move in soon).

It is close to the amenities I want it to be close to (thank goodness for a Target with grocery store within 10 minutes) and even has the double shower that I wanted.

It really does have a number of criteria I didn't think I would get without building. It needs a few changes but nothing is perfect.

Wow, it sounds terrific! I hope this works out for you.

 

[TromboneAl]

Our answers, which turned out well for us.

Do we stay near family, if we do, does this mean in the same county or same state?

No. Closest relative is several hours away.

New or used?

Used. I hated building a house. Lena enjoyed the experience.

Big, medium or small?

Small.

If new, tract or custom?

Doesn't matter.
If used, remodeled or do-it-ourselves?

If you have to ask, you probably wouldn't enjoy remodeling.

Pool or no pool

Not relevant to us.

Urban or suburban or rural?

Rural for us.

Acreage, normal lot or zero lot-line?

It depends.

 

[Amethyst]

When I see this oft-repeated advice, I always wonder: what does one do with one's house and belongings in the meantime? I think this is great advice for people who don't have a lot of possessions, or have some place to stash them while renting!

Amethyst

2. Wherever you go, rent for at least 6 mos before buying.

 

[Brat]

If you are going to downsize, downsize stuff before moving. Allow yourself a year and plan on 3 well organized garage sales. When we did that it added about $3T to our bank account. Plan on sparse furnishings when you market your home, it will look larger to boot. We used our son's covered trailer for storage but there are Pods and u-store-its all around the country. If you don't use something, and it isn't something your heirs will want, sell or give it away now.

Many a guy has 'credited' wife for excess stuff but in my experiance it is husbands who have the most difficulty letting go.

 

[Midpack]

Wherever you go, rent for at least 6 mos before buying.

When I see this oft-repeated advice, I always wonder: what does one do with one's house and belongings in the meantime? I think this is great advice for people who don't have a lot of possessions, or have some place to stash them while renting!

I realize it's not always feasible, but what we hope to do:

• Move to new location and rent a furnished place 6-12 months, leave our major belongings at the old house. Don't put old house on the market (yet).
• Spend a few months to decide a) confirm we do want to live in the new place and b) evaluate neighborhoods to pin down exactly where. I'd expect this to take 3 month minimum.
• If yes, several months before rental contract expires, put old house on the market. Find a house to buy in new location.
• If old house does not sell, extend rental with month to month (fingers crossed).
• If old house sells before we're ready to move into new house, belongings may have to go into storage (old or new location).
• If we're incredibly lucky, old house will sell and we'll move directly into new house - though we realize them's long odds.

I know there are many reasons this may not work, but at least we have a (workable) plan. We can dream...