Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 08-06-2019, 06:36 AM   #41
Recycles dryer sheets
jfn111's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Bloomington, MN
Posts: 369
I had one friend from work that was my traveling buddy. We went to Europe 6 times together and had a ball. He lives in a different city and now we're "stock buddies". I talk to him about 4 times a week discussing the market and politics.
I do a lot of driving around for the real estate gig so it's nice to have someone to chat with. The rest of the work acquaintances have become Facebook friends where we click the Like button on pictures but that's about all the contact we have.
jfn111 is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 08-06-2019, 09:23 AM   #42
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
kcowan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Pacific latitude 20/49
Posts: 7,415
Send a message via Skype™ to kcowan
My 3 lingering friends come from locations where I worked as all the others fell away almost immediately. The one from university days (#4) just got left behind.
__________________
For the fun of it...Keith
kcowan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-06-2019, 12:57 PM   #43
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 1,056
Quote:
Originally Posted by Midpack View Post
It is normal, though I never considered anyone I worked with a true friend even though I’d do almost anything for some of them (and did several times). It may depend on your job/position at work, but they were always what I called “work-friends,” that was a conscious choice on my part. You can’t get as close to anyone at work, and still be completely effective IME. I spent a lot of time with them obviously, and we helped each other enjoy our time at work, but I didn’t hang out with them outside of work as often as my true friends. So it’s no surprise we don’t hang out since I retired.

+1

Pretty much my situation while w*rking a couple of different professional gigs. I was fully present while w*rking with my teams on the j*b, but I didn't socialize with them on my own time. I jealously guarded my precious free time and wanted to do my sports and hobbies, not see the same folks I see all day.

As in introvert, I never had a big group of friends. I attended a local university and a handful of friends remained in town upon graduation. This small group formed my frienship core for a decade. At some point in my 30's, I gradually parted ways with these close friends, for a wide range of reasons. Our lives and needs grew apart. I then fell in with a local outdoors club, where I found my future DW and new friends.

Five years ago, when we FIRE'd, we became much more involved with our church and another outdoors club. Most of our current friends come from church, and we've known them for only a few years.

Honestly, I expect that our friendship group would again evolve if we move, or even transition to another church. Except I hope to hang on to DW

It's interesting to see how friends change with location and circumstance. At first I was disappointed, but I'm learning to accept that this is part of life. No time for everyone; there are some that I no longer care to see anyway.
__________________
Living the dream...
FreeBear is offline   Reply With Quote
Sad, but not interested in old friends.
Old 08-06-2019, 11:00 PM   #44
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 147
Sad, but not interested in old friends.

I worked for my last company for close to 10 years. After I left, I saw one coworker once for lunch. That’s it.

I do get together with some friends from my previous company 2-3 times per year and text occasionally. One of them invited me to join his fantasy football team so we interact during football season as well.

My close friends are guys I hung out with in high school and college. Only one of them lives near me. We all get together for an annual golf trip and this year will be our 20th annual trip. We talk/text during the year quite often as well.

But my closest friend is my dear wife. I see her regularly and hope to continue to do so.
kevdude is offline   Reply With Quote
Moved On
Old 08-09-2019, 03:56 PM   #45
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Crossville
Posts: 208
Moved On

When I left my first two large companies I did still have some interaction with former co-workers, although in some cases it became impossible since we were competitors in sales. The last company I worked for before retiring was horrendous and fostered an atmosphere of back-stabbing and stealing of sales from your fellow workers in different areas, never what was best for the customer. Basically left on a Friday and have never had anything to do with anyone from that last company. Still stay in touch through FB, email and LinkedIn with some from the prior two, but otherwise it was time to move on and leave the working world behind completely.
ychuck46 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-09-2019, 04:38 PM   #46
Recycles dryer sheets
troutnut1's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Big Sky Country, Montana
Posts: 164
As a flyfisherman, I kept two from work and tossed the rest back into the pond after 20 years in a large state agency. Lucky to get two keepers I think.

My grown children live in a facebook world. They think they have dozens, or maybe hundreds of friends. I always say “Tell them all you are moving this weekend and see who volunteers. The ones that show up are your friends.”
troutnut1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-09-2019, 04:49 PM   #47
gone traveling
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 284
I have always felt that way. I truly enjoyed many of my "work friends", but rarely did I want to do more than lunch at work (i.e., entertain or be entertained).
BoodaGazelle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-09-2019, 04:50 PM   #48
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 1,056
Quote:
Originally Posted by ychuck46 View Post
When I left my first two large companies I did still have some interaction with former co-workers, although in some cases it became impossible since we were competitors in sales. The last company I worked for before retiring was horrendous and fostered an atmosphere of back-stabbing and stealing of sales from your fellow workers in different areas, never what was best for the customer. Basically left on a Friday and have never had anything to do with anyone from that last company. Still stay in touch through FB, email and LinkedIn with some from the prior two, but otherwise it was time to move on and leave the working world behind completely.

Wow, sound familiar, unfortunately. I intentionally kept on the tech side and avoided the business and sales side. Unfortunately, top management engendered a disfunctional dog-eat-dog atmosphere where we competed more within our team than we focused on our customers, products, or competitors. I don't miss that nonsense at all.

Oh, it's interesting to see how the vast majority of us just moved on in retirement. I guess I'm not alone.
__________________
Living the dream...
FreeBear is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-09-2019, 05:21 PM   #49
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 624
I don't hang out with the people I work with when I get off work. And I'm not interested in seeing them once I retire. We get along most of the time, but I wouldn't really classify them as friends, no more than the people I worked with at my previous job. People have their own families and lives, and they mostly just stick to that after work.
GenXguy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-09-2019, 05:52 PM   #50
Recycles dryer sheets
Backdraft57's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 117
People at work are "work friends". The tie that binds is the job. When you leave you are history and the tie is broken. Spent 35 years with some of them, leave and then I didn't exist. Very normal.
Backdraft57 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-09-2019, 05:57 PM   #51
Recycles dryer sheets
Retire2013's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Southern California
Posts: 483
Quote:
Originally Posted by joeea View Post
Yes and yes.
+1
__________________
Formerly known as "Retire 2014" Due to aggressive saving and a lot of luck managed to get out at end of March 2013, hence, the name change :)
Retire2013 is offline   Reply With Quote
Friends After retirmen
Old 08-09-2019, 06:28 PM   #52
Confused about dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 2
Friends After retirmen

We were in the Foreign Service and served at many embassies overseas for standard tours of two years but sometimes up to four years. We made many friends at our embassy but also at other embassies, We made friends with a lovely couple at another embassy and when they were about to transfer , we said we’d stay in touch and try hard to meet them. The wife said they never try to keep friendships when they left a posting. We were shocked. We liked them so much. She explained that part of the friendship was formed by the country we were in and the friends in common at that time. Once that ended, the glue of the friendship weakened . She was so right.

We find that we no longer have the same things in common with our good friends from the past . Our interests in retirement are different than before .We still think of our friends dearly but we don’t try to stoke the embers of old friendship.
raypep is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-09-2019, 08:18 PM   #53
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Souschef's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Santa Paula
Posts: 3,354
I retired 10 years ago, and the only person I occasionally keep in touch with is my old boss.
__________________
Retired Jan 2009 Have not looked back.
AA 60/35/5 considering SS and pensions a SP annuity
WR 2% with 2SS & 2 Pensions
Souschef is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-10-2019, 02:39 AM   #54
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 81
Been retired 20 years and only spent time with one co-worker because the others were acquaintances, not friends. Commuters working together in some location aren't likely to see much of each other outside of work unless they live relatively close together. I worked in downtown Atlanta for a number of years so you know there were people from 30+ miles away working there - not all that likely to spend time with them unless the families click (had a couple of those - one family helped reroof the house we were in).
papaof2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-10-2019, 04:45 AM   #55
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Midpack's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: NC
Posts: 16,989
My earlier reply should have also included - when I did get together with work friends shortly after I retired, most of them just wanted to complain about work, “suits” and co-workers they didn’t like. I didn’t like to dwell on it but it seemed natural to commiserate some when I was a co-worker, but that’s the last thing I want run around my head as a retiree. I had a low tolerance for co-workers who constantly complained about work while I was working, and almost zero tolerance once retired. No thanks!
__________________
No one agrees with other people's opinions; they merely agree with their own opinions -- expressed by somebody else. Sydney Tremayne
Retired Jun 2011 at age 57

Target AA: 50% equity funds / 30% bond funds / 20% cash
Target WR: Approx 2.5% Approx 20% SI (secure income, SS only)
Midpack is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-10-2019, 05:43 AM   #56
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
street's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 4,777
Quote:
Originally Posted by Midpack View Post
My earlier reply should have also included - when I did get together with work friends shortly after I retired, most of them just wanted to complain about work, “suits” and co-workers they didn’t like. I didn’t like to dwell on it but it seemed natural to commiserate some when I was a co-worker, but that’s the last thing I want run around my head as a retiree. I had a low tolerance for co-workers who constantly complained about work while I was working, and almost zero tolerance once retired. No thanks!

Exactly how I felt about it also.
street is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-27-2019, 05:41 AM   #57
Dryer sheet aficionado
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 27
I am similar but I I had 2 careers military (reserves) 27 yrs and civilian,
My mil friends are life long and imho deeper and more supportive of all my faults.
My last job was in the same office for 8 of 10 years.
I also lived with one of the other department heads for 9.5 years before I retired and she is still there.
So many of our friends were her friends before I was there and a few are good friends.
smalltownguy1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Moving away from friends, but not too far? Scuba Life after FIRE 6 07-12-2019 12:06 AM
23 yr old interested in a Roth IRA JosephC Young Dreamers 12 02-19-2014 06:56 AM
Another sad but amazing story between China and America business Enuff2Eat FIRE and Money 54 10-24-2010 05:57 PM
Advice for Friends Interested in Financial Planning? GoodSense FIRE and Money 7 02-29-2008 09:36 PM
Sad but (not) ironic... REWahoo Other topics 47 12-27-2007 09:30 AM

» Quick Links

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 09:53 AM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.