The High Cost of Socializing

[mexmeme]

The only entertaining I do is making supper for my husband. We are total introverts, and always have been. I have 3 friends with whom I golf occasionally and he has his brother with whom he "camps" on alternate weekends. Other than that we have no friends in common and like it that way. Sure makes it easy on the budget. Although I would like to go to a club with drinks and dancing, but nothing here of that type.

 

[dex]

What I find interesting about this thread is that several people have contributed some good insights but Tangomonster hasn't contributed much after the first post.

Why?

 

[Khan]

Since you find that "most people want to go to restaurants that are more costly than the ethnic dives we enjoy!", perhaps it is time to make new friends. As yourself what kind of people enjoy those ethnic places. Is there a club populated by such people that you could join?

Regarding the added cost of 'potlucks' and the need to acquire a few board games: those expenses are pretty minimal, so I wouldn't worry about them.

I went, once. I did not know what to expect, and had no preconceptions.

What I found was smoke; noise; and lots of pathetic fat people with glazed expressions who were feeding coins from large buckets into flashing machines. It was a spectacle all right, but not an enjoyable one. Rather like a badly-run nursing home.

I will not return.

I went to Vegas with some coworkers ~15 years ago. Will not go again.

Scared the crap out of me: all food, water, electricity, et al was brought in from far away; a Mad Max scenario in the making.

 

[haha]

Scared the crap out of me: all food, water, electricity, et al was brought in from far away; a Mad Max scenario in the making.

Lake Mead and Hoover Dam? Is 20 miles too far for you?

Ha

 

[bbbamI]

Hmmm, let's see...Vegas, quality liquor, fine dining, fast cars, motorcycles, horseback riding, making new friends, trying something new....yep, I love them all.

 

[Lsbcal]

What I find interesting about this thread is that several people have contributed some good insights but Tangomonster hasn't contributed much after the first post.

Why?

Sometimes these threads have a life of their own. And yes, it can be a little irritating when you are passing along all those great insights and the OP doesn't respond. Then there are those questions sometimes from younger posters that get all the older ones wanting to tell about their experiences, I remember when ... Those can go on for pages and pages before we've all noticed that the OP has left the scene.

Still Dex, I appreciate your insights . And we may hear again from Tangomaster who did, after all, post today. BTW, what was this thread about anyway?

 

[Lsbcal]

...What I found was smoke; noise; and lots of pathetic fat people with glazed expressions who were feeding coins from large buckets into flashing machines. It was a spectacle all right, but not an enjoyable one. Rather like a badly-run nursing home.

There were a few pathetic skinny people too .

I will not return.

Me neither.

 

[Khan]

Lake Mead and Hoover Dam? Is 20 miles too far for you?

Ha

Google Image Result for http://www.h2ouniversity.org/assets/images/drought_lakeline_250.jpg

 

[Moemg]

DW really freaks out when we entertain guests in our home. She seems to have a hostess phobia. Even when I try to help a lot with cleaning and food prep she goes a little nuts. She prefers to go out instead. So we do a little of both. I have to remember not to be too much of a tightwad (spending phobia) or our modest social life suffers.

I get a little crazy when I entertain but I do it to maintain frienships and family . I make it as easy as possible . A few rules
1-Make it simple
2- Write a list so you do not forget anything
3- Partial catered is good ( even if it's from the local deli )
4 - You are not Martha Steward so don't even try
5- Set up the bar so people can help themselves
6 - Set up the food so people can help themselves
7- Candles hide a lot of sins and also add ambience
8- wear something comfotable
9-Have a fishbowl of wine before everybody arrives
10 - Just enjoy because the next party is not yours

 

[Nords]

When we were working, DH and I were complete introverts. Didn't have the energy or inclination to want to socialize.
We've really been enjoying the socializing---but it doesn't come cheap! There's the cost of gas (except with neighbors in our development). There's often the cost of going to eat (which DH and I would do on our own at least once a week, but most people want to go to restaurants that are more costly than the ethnic dives we enjoy!).
So---what I'm looking for is reassurance that it's okay to spend a little money to socialize (give me your permission and blessing and don't kick me out of the frugal living club!)...or suggestions on how to minimize the costs of socializing....

Oddly enough, some of the reasons that we ER'd were so that we wouldn't have to engage in work-related "high-stress socializing" and so that we could have the time to eat out more often at the places we enjoy.

As for the spending category: you can make a lot of money growing vegetables for a farmer's market, selling your own blood products, and recycling laundry lint & dental floss.

Or you could just spend your money on the things that bring you value and either cut back on other areas or figure out how to bring in extra income. If the cutbacks or work seem too harsh then perhaps the spending isn't bringing as much value as you thought.

What I find interesting about this thread is that several people have contributed some good insights but Tangomonster hasn't contributed much after the first post.
Why?

My hypothesis is that the board is much bigger & very busy. Anyone who walks away for a day or two (or three or four) returns to find that 40 posts have piled up on many many threads since their last visit. It's not that the poster didn't contribute, it's that there are many other contributors.

 

[Dawg52]

To the OP, I think it very much makes sense to budget as much as you like for socialization. You only live once, so why stay in when you enjoy getting out and being with friends? I go out on average twice a week. On Friday nights to the club and once during the week for a few beers with my old buddies. Not too expensive for me, but I am single.

Of course I enjoy a night in with my bitch too. Old picture, back when she was young. Firm body, no gray hair, ahhh the good old days.

 

[Danny]

he he you dog!

 

[SkisALot]

If the people you're socializing with want to go to restaurants you don't want to or can't afford it's time to get honest with them. We have some friends who have alot more money than we do and we've worked out a way to have dinner out at restaurants that don't strain our budget. There's nothing wrong with saying, "That place is over our budget." People won't respect you any less, and if they do, they aren't the right friends.

 

[HFWR]

Don't care much for LV; gambling has NO appeal whatsoever, though you can find shows and such. E.g., George Carlin was performing at our hotel while we were there. I prefer Reno/Tahoe...

Many restaurants serve heaping portions that can easily feed two.

As for potlucks or parties, there's generally too much food, so carefully planning the menu can result in plenty to eat, and more money for booze!

 

[haha]

I like Vegas, though it has gotten expensive. I love sports betting, especially college basketball and football. They bust too many bookies around here for me to feel comfortable with illegal betting, so it's Nevada or nowhere for me.

It is possible that I would move there, or to Reno, "The Biggest Little City in the World". I was never in Reno when it was too hot; but I sure was hot at times in Las Vegas. Reno is fine in winter too- pretty sunny, not too cold. And my all time favorite sports book dive- The Cal-Neva-is there.

Ha

 

[chinaco]

Yep. There is a fairly high cost if socializing means going to bars, restaurants, costly entertainment (theatre, concerts, etc...)

However, entertainment at home can be less costly.

Socializing at church and church related functions have little cost other than transportation.

 

[dex]

My hypothesis is that the board is much bigger & very busy. Anyone who walks away for a day or two (or three or four) returns to find that 40 posts have piled up on many many threads since their last visit. It's not that the poster didn't contribute, it's that there are many other contributors.

Nords,
I did a search on the topics started by Tangomonster and looked at those with "substantive; meaningful" content and some replies. There is a pattern here. Tango starts a topic; might add a trite comment - but usually none - no acknowledgment of the contributions/comments of the posters.

At the best it is impolite towards the people who took the time to post.

There is something strange about it in my mind.

I don't have anyone on my ignore list. This will be the first.

 

[Khan]

Nords,
I did a search on the topics started by Tangomonster and looked at those with "substantive; meaningful" content and some replies. There is a pattern here. Tango starts a topic; might add a trite comment - but usually none - no acknowledgment of the contributions/comments of the posters.

At the best it is impolite towards the people who took the time to post.

There is something strange about it in my mind.

I don't have anyone on my ignore list. This will be the first.

So:

There are unstated rules concerning how to post.

Someone is insulting you by not adhering to said rules.

You went through the trouble of researching past posts to verify this serious breach of rules.

Could you state these rules?

How many follow up posts by the OP are necessary?

How long should these posts be?

Should all contributors be thanked individually?

I don't want to break these rules and end up being shunned by sensitive readers.

 

[rs0460a]

Sorry, but I heard something on the local news this morning that refers to the "challange" of the OP's question.

Feel free to persue this "cultural enhancement "...

Police raid brothel in Chinatown | Philadelphia Inquirer | 06/13/2008

There's a possibility of some "socializing isssues" as stated in this thread, with the comment "We have to make sure to get some rehabilitation for these women who are involved in this type of activity,"

- Ron

 

[ChrisC]

So:

There are unstated rules concerning how to post.

Someone is insulting you by not adhering to said rules.

You went through the trouble of researching past posts to verify this serious breach of rules.

Could you state these rules?

How many follow up posts by the OP are necessary?

How long should these posts be?

Should all contributors be thanked individually?

I don't want to break these rules and end up being shunned by sensitive readers.

That's hilarious! I'm busting a major gut.

 

[CuppaJoe]

This a steal/paraphrase from something RichInTampa wrote some months ago: If OP doesn't write anything else, maybe she's listening.

I also feel a sense of obligation to "host" threads I've started. But, of course, I learn nothing from my own posts.

 

[Purron]

My hypothesis is that the board is much bigger & very busy. Anyone who walks away for a day or two (or three or four) returns to find that 40 posts have piled up on many many threads since their last visit. It's not that the poster didn't contribute, it's that there are many other contributors.

Good point Nords. Last week, I was off line for three days after a particularly severe batch of thunderstorms botched up Internet service throughout my area. When I returned, I felt kinda lost since so much had been posted while I was off line.

 

[Milton]

It is possible that I would move there, or to Reno, "The Biggest Little City in the World".

Reno has the air races ("The World's Fastest Motor Sport") every September. Reno Air Racing Association - Unlimited Class aircraft

 

[Moemg]

I'm having a party on Sunday . A cook out for Father's Day and just for the heck of it I kept a close tab on my costs . I'm having Eight adults and four children for pulled pork , hamburgers ,hot dogs ,potato salad ,cole slaw , spicy cheese dip , cheese & crackers and a big cake plus soda ,juice ,wine & beer . Total cost $125.00 and these boys are huge eaters . So it really does not cost that much to socialize .

 

[haha]

I'm having a party on Sunday . A cook out for Father's Day and just for the heck of it I kept a close tab on my costs . I'm having Eight adults and four children for pulled pork , hamburgers ,hot dogs ,potato salad ,cole slaw , spicy cheese dip , cheese & crackers and a big cake plus soda ,juice ,wine & beer . Total cost $125.00 and these boys are huge eaters . So it really does not cost that much to socialize .

Whoa! I wish I were on your guest list!

Ha