This Is How Terribly Short Your Life Is

[Nemo2]

...........I will no longer be able to enjoy activities that require some degree of physical fitness, walking on old cobblestone streets for example, is 70 - 75.

Age 73, in one continuous session, I stair climbed 6,785 risers...approx 170 stories.....now, approaching 78, I still use the elliptical but fear, (know), if I can get back to it after all this mess, I'll never hit that stair number again.

Like jumping out of a plane, (I did it once), it's coasting until the door opens and then it's all downhill.

 

[Mr. Tightwad]

Happy wife = Happy life.

My current wife and I made a vow to pay each other $1,000 cash if one of us is the first to lose their temper and/or raises their voice.

I am behind $6,000 after 10 years of marriage. She has yet to pay me. The $1000 payment is a great anger management tool.

The $6,000 really means nothing compared to the happiness my wife gives to me. She uses this money to buy new clothes for herself.

I do not focus on how terribly short my life is because I am more focus on the quality of our lives. Time is meaningless if you are happy.

Best thing I did career-wise is acquiring multiple job skills by going to school after work. When I was unhappy at work, I had sufficient job skills to easily get a better job. Similarly, my first wife wife was toxic, and I ended up with a divorce. I married a perfect 2nd wife who is 20 years younger than me. My young wife puts up with me and has yet to lose her temper. I know she is happy because she always smiles and people compliment her for her youthful looks.

Perhaps she deliberately upsets you when she feels like it's time for a new outfit? Hubby upset = Payday!

You are one of my favorite poster's Vchan, keep them coming.

 

[Perryinva]

Many of the same thoughts here. Everyone is different, but I rarely hated work, or most any job I had, especially as an adult.whereas marriage # 2 was a regret for almost the full 10 years I wasted in it. It took 10 years to grow enough emotionally to put my life in perspective. I was manipulated in many ways and was passive aggressive, so I was in a spiral of denial most of that time. I’m sure it is no coincidence that it was the worst 10 financial years of my life, and the divorce ended in great debt. As a result, there were two jobs immediately after that and within a few months of taking each one, I realized “bad fit, time to change, just like the last marriage”! Which somewhat resonated with the video, and caused me to make sure I would only work at what I enjoyed while getting well paid. And I realize that is not always possible, but I have been relatively lucky my whole life, in that regard. At least I emerged physically fit because rather than be at home, I exercised, a lot. I left that job because of (what turned out to be a disastrous) reorganization of the company, and a Voluntary Separation package offered enough cash to make the break workable. It was the low point of my life, at age 37.

I always imagined during the first few months for each job “could I see doing this for 20 more years” or was it a means to an end. Ironically each one of those had me doing a project with what would be my next long term employer. I was lucky in that I linked two different long term periods with the same employer to end up with excellent pension and health benefits in retirement, to end up with a successful relatively early FIRE at 61, almost in spite of my early bad decisions. . I had 7 jobs in 39 years from college graduation, all the same field and expertise, but one, one year stint after that divorce because I felt like I had to try something different that was going to put me outside my comfort zone, to elicit a change. It was a total failure and a financial fiasco on top of the debt I was already saddled with.

But from then on, I made sure I did enjoy my career and life, and did, and that is my approach in retirement as well, as part of that was making sure Money would never be a problem again. As a result, when I decide to take SS is practically moot. I can spend whatever I want now before I file, knowing that I would never worry about having enough once I do file. In a worst case scenario, if I spent or lost my entire life savings and I can’t live comfortably on the remaining $8k/mo income with Medicare then the problem is with me. There is no time better than now to live life. (Well, after Covid, I guess).

 

[Aramis]

My father died of a heart attack at age 50, in front of me, when I was 16. My best friend - the truest connection I have ever had and one which would have lasted a lifetime - died of cancer when we were both 18, and my 20 year old sister died in an accident 6 months after that.

None of that ever made me feel that life was a gift or that I was fortunate to still be alive. It left me with a certain fear of mortality that has shadowed my life. I fear, or at least contemplate, death far more than most people, if my conversations with them are any indication. And the older I get, the worse it gets. I don't know if retirement will grant me some relief from that, but I hope so. I certainly never planned to be stuck in my house once the grind was over, but I have to get past the money obstacle. And now COVID has decided to stick its nose into both of those concerns.

The struggle continues......

 

[Markola]

My father died of a heart attack at age 50, in front of me, when I was 16. My best friend - the truest connection I have ever had and one which would have lasted a lifetime - died of cancer when we were both 18, and my 20 year old sister died in an accident 6 months after that.

None of that ever made me feel that life was a gift or that I was fortunate to still be alive. It left me with a certain fear of mortality that has shadowed my life. I fear, or at least contemplate, death far more than most people, if my conversations with them are any indication. And the older I get, the worse it gets. I don't know if retirement will grant me some relief from that, but I hope so. I certainly never planned to be stuck in my house once the grind was over, but I have to get past the money obstacle. And now COVID has decided to stick its nose into both of those concerns.

The struggle continues......

Gosh, your story is very moving and I hope you can get some relief.

 

[Koolau]

Heh, heh, one of the reasons I moved to Hawaii. It's the state with the best longevity (81.3). Not sure moving here late in life actually helps. Still, whatever time I have left, I think I'll enjoy more here than on the frozen tundra of the Midwest.

One of our local friends recently turned 104. She's a bit decrepit, but still sharp. She escaped the nursing home ahead of Covid and now lives with her daughter. A male friend of our is 97. Not as sharp and he's confined to a wheel chair, so maybe living TOO long isn't that great. Still, I'd like to give it a shot. YMMV

 

[2177V]

My father died of a heart attack at age 50, in front of me, when I was 16. My best friend - the truest connection I have ever had and one which would have lasted a lifetime - died of cancer when we were both 18, and my 20 year old sister died in an accident 6 months after that.

None of that ever made me feel that life was a gift or that I was fortunate to still be alive. It left me with a certain fear of mortality that has shadowed my life. I fear, or at least contemplate, death far more than most people, if my conversations with them are any indication. And the older I get, the worse it gets. I don't know if retirement will grant me some relief from that, but I hope so. I certainly never planned to be stuck in my house once the grind was over, but I have to get past the money obstacle. And now COVID has decided to stick its nose into both of those concerns.

The struggle continues......

Life changes when you see someone die in front of you.

First death in front of me was when I was an Army soldier stationed near the Korean DMZ. A 10 year old Korean boy was mining a firing range for bullet so he can sell the bullets for money. The firing range sergeant did not see the boy and I was the first one there only to see him die in front of me.

The second death was in Afghanistan when a soldier placed his rifle against a post and the rifle fell across the mine field barrier. The mine blew his arm off at the shoulder so I could not stop the bleeding with a tourniquet. His last words: "Help me". In both cases, there was much more blood than you see in the movies. The Army calls me every month to see if I had PTSD and I stated "no" because I have already seen people die in front of me.

Both incidents changed my outlook in life for the better. I take nothing for granted and I focus on making my family and other people happy.

I am retired but I am also an unpaid volunteer in my community because serving my community is like serving your country. When my family reciprocate my positive feelings toward them and when my community appreciate my unpaid community service, my trauma tends to diminish.

If I die tomorrow, I will die happy because I lived my life to help my country, my family and my community. In my opinion, living for yourself is a mistake.

 

[bolt]

Perhaps she deliberately upsets you when she feels like it's time for a new outfit? Hubby upset = Payday!

You are one of my favorite poster's Vchan, keep them coming.

Vchan, I'd reconsider that Happy wife = Happy life outdated nonsense.
Happy House = Happy Spouse.


The other is genuinely outdated, uninformed & unfortunate, in my opinion. Particularly if your opening doors, throwing your jacket on the puddle, taking a knee on the facts & living your life with another and all that that entails as a butler or maiden!

Hubby upset= Payday
That was funny Mr.Tightwad.

"People are generally products of their environment & experiences". imo.

Vchan, the OP should be upset, he should have been already planning to buy his wife that item for the upcoming holiday! Correct? (assuming genders here)
Good Luck & Best wishes......

 

[KarlH]

While the video has some good points about going to jobs we hate, we all sleep everyday and day without sleep can be torture. I would never subtract sleep from the time I am enjoying life, and I have been an early riser for years. I think that whole point is simply semantics. Sleeping in for retirement seems like a waste of time.

I enjoyed some of the points about mowing the lawn and such, but for me I look at these small chores and compare them to the life wasted commuting back and forth to work. Living in the greater Chicago area, friends who have come to visit (pre Covid) always seem amazed at the distances we drive for simple activities. I take great enjoyment having days where I get everything done within walking distance, chores included.

One of the big things I am looking forward to in FIRE is less time in the car. Having a job you don't enjoy is bad, but driving an hour each way to a job you don't enjoy is horrible.

 

[2177V]

Vchan, I'd reconsider that Happy wife = Happy life outdated nonsense.
Happy House = Happy Spouse.


The other is genuinely outdated, uninformed & unfortunate, in my opinion. Particularly if your opening doors, throwing your jacket on the puddle, taking a knee on the facts & living your life with another and all that that entails as a butler or maiden!

Hubby upset= Payday
That was funny Mr.Tightwad.

"People are generally products of their environment & experiences". imo.

Vchan, the OP should be upset, he should have been already planning to buy his wife that item for the upcoming holiday! Correct? (assuming genders here)
Good Luck & Best wishes......

FYI. My wife is 20 years younger than me and some people think my wife is my daughter. My wife is also low maintenance with a very funny sense of humor. I got lucky so I treat her like a lady that she is.

Happy wife = Happy life really works for me.

I would imagine guys who marry a super model with little age difference would also treat his wife a little bit different than other guys who married a woman who is not a super model.

BTW..my boat and my motorcycle are excluded from our $1000 anger management agreement. There is a line between my wife and my toys in which my young wife is not supposed to cross. She always teases me by saying that she accidentally hit my boat or motorcycle with her car.

 

[Out-to-Lunch]

I would imagine guys who marry a super model with little age difference would also treat his wife a little bit different than other guys who married a woman who is not a super model.

I was with you right up until this sad statement.

 

[REWahoo]

I was with you right up until this sad statement.

Sad? I'd use an entirely different descriptive word.

 

[bolt]

She always teases me by saying that she accidentally hit my boat or motorcycle with her car.

Now that is !!

 

[pc95]

I've read newspapers (that's right those heavily outdated things now) for around 33 of my 43.7 years. It started with the sports section, then the front page was added, then travel, comics. Later Business, and metro, Dear Abby, arts/leisure. Oddly more recently now I often read obituaries, often of those I don't know. I can't explain it - would never even think of looking at them even 5 or 7 years earlier. Perhaps it got ratcheted up when I happened upon an old middle-aged coworker's (one I hadn't seen for 5 or 6 years) obituary. Then a long ago child-hood to teenager friend I did an out-of-nowhere search online and found that he died in 2017. I hadn't talked or corresponded in 25 years so I wondered why I felt loss that bore down on me for a couple of weeks. Even though time had passed, I still spent some time together before. So how about the friends that you let go for a variety of reasons. Some your choice, some theirs.....yes time for human beings is short. If you're lucky, you don't have to deal with death (much) until an adult.

 

[Aramis]

Hi pc95 - you are sure not alone. I have been doing this for many years (just turned 60) and it was precipitated by similar occurrences in my life; co-workers and schoolmates passing. I put it down to a couple of thought processes. First, I think we seek reassurance that most people live well into their 80's. Something to push the concept of death back out into the "Well, that's too far away to think about it" realm, and as a reminder to be happy we remain on this side of the grass and to continue to try and be healthy, happy and active, so you have the best chance at living the best "rest" of your life.

I could use the reassurance but I shouldn't need the reminders; I'm no stranger to death. My sister (only sibling), father and (soulmate) best friend all died in a 2 year period between my ages of 17 - 19 and my mother passed 11 years ago. All members of my birth family gone before age 50.

There are friends I need to reach out to, and should have reached to already. Distance is a factor as I have moved far from my childhood home. It is a two way street, of course. I am hoping retirement gives me the chance, and the courage, to take the first step.

 

[Music Lover]

This video exactly points out why I started taking SS early; 62. My remaining years are going to be restricted on what I can do by my health and physical ability. Waiting until 70 to take AND enjoy the benefits of SS funds also comes with being unable to do those things I would want to do now. Now I kayak on the ocean, ski the mountains, work on landscaping projects, ride motorcycles, hike, fish, etc. As time goes by, it's less and less likely that my health will allow me to do those things past age 70. When I'm old, sitting on the front porch in a rocking chair, I do not want regrets of things I could have done back when I was able, but put off for a few more bucks in a bank account that can't buy me those experiences my body no longer can enjoy.

I'm taking early CPP (Canada) when I turn 60. My rough calculations show the break even point to be around age 74. So for 15 years I'm ahead of the game while at my youngest and healthiest. I only start "losing" money at 74 and even if I make it to 85 the amount I'd have lost is still negligible....just a few thousand a year when spread out over the years.

 

[Nemo2]

I'm taking early CPP (Canada) when I turn 60. My rough calculations show the break even point to be around age 74. So for 15 years I'm ahead of the game while at my youngest and healthiest. I only start "losing" money at 74 and even if I make it to 85 the amount I'd have lost is still negligible....just a few thousand a year when spread out over the years.

This was my approach also. So far, so good.