When does ER get hard?

[W2R]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andre1969 Like Brewer12345, this is the part that has me a bit scared, as well. Up until this past week at work, my plan was to retire anywhere between 2016 and 2020, (age 46 to 50), depending on the economy, my own financial situation, how well-balanced the BS buckets are, etc. Well, last week, let's just say the kitty litter hit the fan. I got so fed up that I almost turned in my badges and walked out. Several times. Ended up taking off Friday to cool off. It didn't work. I'm supposed to meet with my immediate supervisor, who's as useless as teets on a boar, and another manager who feels my pain and is rooting for me. But right now I'm so fed up that I'm thinking of taking Monday off as well. I don't even want to look at that building, let alone go in it. So I might just tell them let's meet for lunch nearby, or something. So in my case, obviously, I'm running away from something, rather than to something. Firecalc says I have about a 95% chance of making it. I'm scared of the potential change, but at the same time, giddy about the possibilities. This is probably an obscure reference, but I feel kinda like Burgess Meredith in that Twilight Zone episode, just before he broke his glasses. There's "Time Enough At Last!!"

TAKE MONDAY OFF!!! If/when you retire, I would strongly suggest doing it on your own terms with you at the helm, and not simply as a knee-jerk reaction to the immediate work situation. Don't let them take control and push you out at their convenience. If you feel like it, make the decision now but do it calmly and rationally, and don't act on it this week. At least, that is my advice.

[rbmrtn]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andre1969 This is probably an obscure reference, but I feel kinda like Burgess Meredith in that Twilight Zone episode, just before he broke his glasses. There's "Time Enough At Last!!"

Not at all, one my favorite episodes. Watched it again when SciFi channel had the july 4th marathon.

[imoldernu]

Experience:
6 years as a kid
17 years as a student
30 years as a family provider
24 years of total freedom

IMHO, contentment is a matter of attitude, imagination, curiosity and acceptance. Each day offers a new opportunity to learn, to do, to experience and to enjoy... all at a pace that is dictated by one's self. Therein lies the difference.

Some day, look up the definition of retirement, and you'll find the concept (as we know it today), didn't even exist 150 years ago.

A happy retirement comes from striking the balance between means and needs.

[ChainsBeGone]

Only 2 months into ER now, but have yet to wake up missing work. In fact, the days go by so fast that I've found little time to check in here and read. I can't believe how fast the days pass. I've found that I can only get one "big" thing accomplished in a given day. By the time I've read the paper (e-edition) in bed, along with the morning coffee, and gone to the gym/worked out, the day is half over before it's really begun, and I'm usually awake and heading to the coffee pot around 6 a.m. I read so many times here the posts that state "I can't believe how I ever found time to work" and that is exactly how it is for me so far, at least these first two months into ER.

[Mulligan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by haha This sounds very familiar to me. I am long retired while my GF works. I can't see that either of us is more happy; we just have different challenges and rewards. But one thing for sure, she can finish in 4 hours what I will still be getting ready to start! Ha

I find being in a committed relationship, living separate, while the GF works and I do not as the perfect relationship scenario!

[scrabbler1]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mulligan I find being in a committed relationship, living separate, while the GF works and I do not as the perfect relationship scenario!

This has been my scenario for the last 4 1/2 years since I ERed. She works FT but I do not, and we live separately although we live walking distance from each other. Before I ERed, she lived nearby, sometimes walking distance, sometimes a few miles away, while I worked PT. Being ERed enables me to help her out with everyday things more which is good.

[David1961]

Thinking about this some more (and maybe over-analyzing a little), the focus for me is not that ER is not hard. Life is hard at times, so since ER is a part of life it can be hard also. For me, the point is that ER is much more REWARDING but not necessarily less hard.

[David1961]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mulligan I find being in a committed relationship, living separate, while the GF works and I do not as the perfect relationship scenario!

I would agree!

[Mulligan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by David1961 I would agree!

Like Scrabbler said, it allows you to get some brownie points by helping them out and yet still have all the necessary time to do what you want to do. Then with their free time at a premium, you can let the lady dictate what the "quality time" is supposed to be, knowing full well you can survive it because you have all day tomorrow to do whatever.

[David1961]

Yes, since you have plenty of "alone time/quality time" for yourself it gives you more time and energy to accommodate her needs. Wonder if there are any dating sites that match up w*rking ladies with ER'd men?

[Mulligan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by David1961 Yes, since you have plenty of "alone time/quality time" for yourself it gives you more time and energy to accommodate her needs. Wonder if there are any dating sites that match up w*rking ladies with ER'd men?

I'd be a little skeptical to join it. I think it is a cover for, I wanna land a man and marry him so I don't have to work, too! I would not have to problem with that except if I married somebody who then quit working, I would have to go back to work to make the "retirement math for 2" work.

[W2R]

Neither one of us work, we live separately, and we have plenty of "alone time" as well as plenty of quality time together. We started out with the agreement that we would only spend time with each other when we BOTH felt like it (something that I liked because I hate to feel like somebody's chore).

By now, we have worked out a routine but we occasionally spend more, or less, time together if we feel like it. Our time together is all quality time IMO. We are completely committed to one another emotionally and this is our fourteenth year together.

Just keep looking for the right person.

[Bestwifeever]

DH is at a scary movie right now while I get some things ready for some houseguests who will be arriving this week. We spend maybe half our time together since we've both ER'd.

I think most people adapt to retirement in their own ways and according to their own personalities. DH did not retire "to" something but the list of things he's done in the past almost five years takes my breath away, none of them planned while he was still working.

Things will work out.

[Sea Kayaker]

I fully expect ER to feel like slipping on a favorite pair of old slippers - my life away from my job is remarkable and fulfilling in so many ways I don't worry one iota about the transition. My job succeeds in keeping from doing the things I love, simple as that.

I am 41 and in the home stretch - the numbers and calculations suggest I am good to go now - dividend income now surpasses monthly expenses - and I still have 200k in cash to invest in more income producing assets. Not to mention my wife still wants to work for at least another ten years in her six figure position (one of those weirdos that loves her job )

I don't expect ER to be hard at all - I know it will be glorious. What I am finding difficult is actually cutting the cord and finally letting go of my job. Of late, even DW is questioning the wisdom of my leaving my employer - I didn't need that complication at this point. With our two incomes, we are current saving $7500 monthly - no matter how much I hate my job, that is not easy to walk away from - I will admit that saving this amount creates its own little thrill. Little voices in my head are telling me how much more secure things would be if I could hold on and work for a couple more years.

I am fearful I am descending into the pit of despair known as OMY syndrome.... the actual decision to ER is proving to be the hardest thing of all.

[martyp]

I am 2.5 yrs into ER. Last Thursday I had my annual reunion with college friends. They left on Sunday and my first thought was about how great it was not to have to go to work on Monday. They are all still working.

Nothing hard about it for me.

[haha]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mulligan I find being in a committed relationship, living separate, while the GF works and I do not as the perfect relationship scenario!

Me too, and I'll never change this; unless of course we have some kind of falling out. She has plenty that she likes to do when and if she retires, so no worries there. But no way will I end it by moving in together. Compromise is fine if I am compromising by having lamb chops instead of a T-Bone. But if it gets much more central than that, thanks but no thanks. I also like the aspect another poster mentioned- anything you do for her is a freely given gift, and tends to be appreciated in that light. As veteran of American married life I know very well that gratitude is not often a natural emotion of a wife. A few days ago I was in a busy checkout queue at REI and some poor old husband must have let his attention wander when one of the 12 checkers working was waving her blue flag that she was open. His wife smacked him on the back of the head, and thrust our her boney finger to direct him on his way. And this poor guy is going to live longer!!!

Ha

[NW-Bound]

Quote:

Originally Posted by haha ... As veteran of American married life I know very well that gratitude is not often a natural emotion of a wife. A few days ago I was in a busy checkout queue at REI and some poor old husband must have let his attention wander when one of the 12 checkers working was waving her blue flag that she was open. His wife smacked him on the back of the head, and thrust our her boney finger to direct him on his way. And this poor guy is going to live longer!!! Ha

And my wife often complained that I took her and what she did for granted.

But back on ER, I have stopped work only 14 months ago. No big change for me, as I have been working on/off for the last 10+ years, and have had time off periods of 4-5 months. Even when working, 40-hr weeks were somewhat infrequent and only in bursts. The occasional rush of getting something done did get the adrenaline flowing, followed by a relaxing period, a foreign trip, an RV trek.

If it weren't for my illness, I might miss work some, I'll admit. Pay is so good, the work is interesting, and I would not have to watch this 3.5%WR. Now kids are out of college, I would even have extra money to buy some good stocks I am running across.

Darn, this almost makes me want to call to see if they still need me, after my recovery.

[haha]

NW, I missed your announcement about your illness and subsequent surgery. I hope that you are dong well, and that your recovery will be rapid and complete.

Ha

[NW-Bound]

Thanks for the well-wish, from you as well as others. I did not announce it in a thread, and only in a casual post.

I have been debating whether I should tell about my saga, in hope that it may help others who find themselves in the same predicament. I may start a thread for that purpose, but want to wait until I am feeling better physically.

Mentally, I have been improving, and the bantering on this forum, public as well as private messaging, has been a big part of that.

[Ronstar]

NW - Take care of yourself and here's hope for a speedy recovery.

If there is anything that makes ER hard, its health issues that diminish its enjoyment.