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Old 05-10-2021, 09:34 AM   #41
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I'm 59, retired for two years now, and unlike the others, I don't foresee a time when I'll ever not want to have some kind of purpose in life. I don't think having purpose is a matter of age; it's a matter of personality, outlook, values, and philosophy.

However, it's also a matter of definition. I suspect many people just equate "purpose" with career and raising a family, and that's as far as their thinking goes.

My conception of "purpose" has changed through the years. In my early years, it was more defined in terms of work and career. By the time I reached 35, it had become redefined internally -- in terms of who I was becoming as a person, my learning and growth. That links to relationships. Later in life, I started to understand that following any of your values is a purpose, and I started to identify my values more explicitly, finding that I had quite a number of them. I understood that even something as simple as appreciating nature can be a part of purpose.

A central theme for me is learning and growth. The learning could be psychological, spiritual, intellectual, emotional, relational, or spiritual. Anything that takes me forward in any of those regards is "on purpose," as far as I'm concerned.

Anything that supports that is also "on purpose." For example, anything I do that supports my physical health is part of that purpose. Anything that supports my mental health is part of that purpose. Anything I do to take care of myself is part of that purpose.

Broadly speaking, my purpose is to have a happy, satisfying, fulfilling life. (When I say "happy," I don't just mean passing pleasures, although those are fine; I'm talking about enduring happiness or contentment). Anything that leads me there is on purpose. In general, that means trying to focus on what I value, what I think matters, and to avoid spending too much time/energy on things that don't.

However, having a happy, enjoyable life also means (especially in retirement) plenty of time for resting, relaxing, farting around, doing nothing in particular, staring out the window, playing games, whatever. All of that is also part of purpose. "All work and no play..."

So just to hammer that point home (because people invariably misunderstand) -- none of my purposes feels like "work" to me ("work" in the sense of drudgery, obligation, duty, something you're doing for external rewards). If something starts to feel like a duty or a chore, I just stop and move on to something else. I've already achieved enough in my life; I don't need to do anything more. I don't need to "prove" anything to anyone or myself. Anything beyond what I've done already is just icing on the cake, and I only pursue it if I enjoy it.

I like the positive psychology concept of using your specific strengths in an area that produces "flow." I do that through writing. Over the past year or so, I've created a blog and then written a book. I enjoy the process of writing, and I am proud of the work I do, although it is small potatoes in the grand scheme. It helps other people and honors what I think is important, and that feels good.

Since retiring, I've found the "frog on a lily pad" image useful. Instead of setting one big goal, I jump from interest to interest, just based on how I feel. I try to carve out small, manageable projects, rather than bite off more than I can chew. As long as it's interesting and enjoyable, I continue. When it starts to get old or boring, or I feel like I've said all I need to say, I hop to the next lily pad.

I could ramble on some more, but that's probably enough.
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Old 05-10-2021, 09:53 AM   #42
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After I RE'd, I stumbled upon a consulting job where I can still enjoy the technical aspects of what I used to do with no managerial responsibility. I can also mentor less experienced people and guide those that ask for advice. I guess there is purpose in this. The extra dollars to blow aren't bad either. When this starts to feel like a job, I will move on to my next purpose, whatever that will be.
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Old 05-11-2021, 04:53 PM   #43
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Mow your neighbors' lawns?
Do their dishes by hand?
Clean their houses?
Contribute to their 401k? 😁

Enjoy yourself!
Know that you achieved a great point in your life and, as you go, you'll find things to do!
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Old 05-11-2021, 05:29 PM   #44
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Hehe, Yeah Baby!

The watching paint dry was not a troll post. I just varnished another board today and enjoyed watching paint dry again.

If you strive to save the world by all means proceed. I'll keep working on saving the backyard.
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Old 05-11-2021, 06:02 PM   #45
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Write a book about how you did what you did. Sell it - or give it away - on Amazon: Kindle books can have a price of $0.00 and the reader software (PC, Mac, Android, Apple) is free.

After 30+ years with a major telecom, I retired - only to be called within weeks by another arm of the company and invited back as a contractor in an area I enjoyed (design & testing of the next-generation network). After that, I was an independent software developer for a while (worked with startups in California and Georgia). After I retired yet again, I became an author (a story I posted to an online forum got a lot of "You should make this a book on Amazon" comments). I tried that and that first book sold several thousand copies, being in Amazon's top 2% of sales for a day ;-)

I've added seven more books to that list, the most recent last month. It also had a day in the top 2% in sales. I'm not making enough royalty $$ to change my tax bracket but I amy providing entertainment, escape and perhaps a little learning to other people.
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Old 05-11-2021, 06:05 PM   #46
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Originally Posted by ER Eddie View Post
I'm 59, retired for two years now, and unlike the others, I don't foresee a time when I'll ever not want to have some kind of purpose in life. I don't think having purpose is a matter of age; it's a matter of personality, outlook, values, and philosophy.

However, it's also a matter of definition. I suspect many people just equate "purpose" with career and raising a family, and that's as far as their thinking goes.

My conception of "purpose" has changed through the years. In my early years, it was more defined in terms of work and career. By the time I reached 35, it had become redefined internally -- in terms of who I was becoming as a person, my learning and growth. That links to relationships. Later in life, I started to understand that following any of your values is a purpose, and I started to identify my values more explicitly, finding that I had quite a number of them. I understood that even something as simple as appreciating nature can be a part of purpose.

A central theme for me is learning and growth. The learning could be psychological, spiritual, intellectual, emotional, relational, or spiritual. Anything that takes me forward in any of those regards is "on purpose," as far as I'm concerned.

Anything that supports that is also "on purpose." For example, anything I do that supports my physical health is part of that purpose. Anything that supports my mental health is part of that purpose. Anything I do to take care of myself is part of that purpose.

Broadly speaking, my purpose is to have a happy, satisfying, fulfilling life. (When I say "happy," I don't just mean passing pleasures, although those are fine; I'm talking about enduring happiness or contentment). Anything that leads me there is on purpose. In general, that means trying to focus on what I value, what I think matters, and to avoid spending too much time/energy on things that don't.

However, having a happy, enjoyable life also means (especially in retirement) plenty of time for resting, relaxing, farting around, doing nothing in particular, staring out the window, playing games, whatever. All of that is also part of purpose. "All work and no play..."

So just to hammer that point home (because people invariably misunderstand) -- none of my purposes feels like "work" to me ("work" in the sense of drudgery, obligation, duty, something you're doing for external rewards). If something starts to feel like a duty or a chore, I just stop and move on to something else. I've already achieved enough in my life; I don't need to do anything more. I don't need to "prove" anything to anyone or myself. Anything beyond what I've done already is just icing on the cake, and I only pursue it if I enjoy it.

I like the positive psychology concept of using your specific strengths in an area that produces "flow." I do that through writing. Over the past year or so, I've created a blog and then written a book. I enjoy the process of writing, and I am proud of the work I do, although it is small potatoes in the grand scheme. It helps other people and honors what I think is important, and that feels good.

Since retiring, I've found the "frog on a lily pad" image useful. Instead of setting one big goal, I jump from interest to interest, just based on how I feel. I try to carve out small, manageable projects, rather than bite off more than I can chew. As long as it's interesting and enjoyable, I continue. When it starts to get old or boring, or I feel like I've said all I need to say, I hop to the next lily pad.

I could ramble on some more, but that's probably enough.
That's good stuff right there! Having retired after 42 years of police work and selling the farm that my wife and I built from scratch we moved to a large metropolitan area to be near the grandboys and it has pretty much been a disaster for me psychologically..I'm working very hard to get better but progress has been slow..You have helped me a little..Thank you for taking the time and trouble..
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Old 05-11-2021, 06:17 PM   #47
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I found an interesting purpose. I’ve been a keen motorcycle rider since I was a wee lad in the UK. My first vehicle was a motorcycle and my current vehicle is a motorcycle. When I travel I rent motorcycles at my destination. I haven’t owned a car since I left the USA in 2007 and moved to Asia. Motorcycles are basics transportation, not a hobby, in much of Asia.

I’ve also been obsessed with safety since I was quite young. I used to read Which? (a British consumer magazine) then Consumer Reports when I moved to the USA (1985-2007).

So I decided to combine my 2 hobbies to help all sentient motorcycle riders (yeah, I’m a Buddhist too). I test motorcycle equipment, mostly the clothes, by drop testing them on actual roads. Not in test labs.

Well, it’s really taken off and motorcycle garment manufacturers are taking notice since I manage to find weak points that lab tests don’t. I’ve been invited to present my findings and conclusions (virtually) at Dainese annual company meeting in June. Some CE/EN certifications might change in the near future because of these findings too.

I could probably turn this into a business, testing and designing as a consultant or a manufacturer but I’ve got no interest in that because it sounds stressful and I’ve got enough money to live a modest life. I retired mid-2020 at age 57. My pensions (UK/USA) will be accessible in 10 years (or 5 if I want SS early). I just want to educate and help people. It’s just good karma.
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Old 05-12-2021, 05:16 AM   #48
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That's good stuff right there! Having retired after 42 years of police work and selling the farm that my wife and I built from scratch we moved to a large metropolitan area to be near the grandboys and it has pretty much been a disaster for me psychologically..I'm working very hard to get better but progress has been slow..You have helped me a little..Thank you for taking the time and trouble..
Thanks, lawman. Sounds like you're dealing with a lot. I'm glad I could help a bit.
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Old 05-12-2021, 08:27 AM   #49
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Its funny because what I feel my ambition is TO FIRE, will be seperate from the ambitions AFTER FIRE. Like I feel like I want to retire because I want more time to myself, but I fear, that with more time and my personality I will just get involved in other things outside earning an income...HOPEFULLY. BUT... what IS driving me to FIRE is the ability right now to find various avenues of income. That is the "game" side of it for me...and I don't know if I'll ever want to stop playing it.

I have sort of made mental notes that I will:
1. Travel for more extended periods and stay in one place longer with DW and invite kids to come along as it lends itself
2. Spend more time helping my children transition to adults and help with college, wedding, housing plans/costs and career growth and guidance.
3. Which sorta collides with 1 and maybe 2 is to help my own parents transition into their elderly years, taking on more of their estate needs etc so they can wind down and not fuss about the little things like paying bills, investing, etc.
4. Read more. I feel like I have gone 40 years and left so much on the table here
5. Pursue activities that keep me challenged physically. Tennis? Cycling? Beach Volleyball, who knows.
6,7,8 Sleep in. Avoid Zoom Meetings. Be ridden of office politics.
9. Live life, don't let life happen.
10. Continue to plan and invest.
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Old 05-12-2021, 10:11 AM   #50
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ER Eddie View Post
I'm 59, retired for two years now, and unlike the others, I don't foresee a time when I'll ever not want to have some kind of purpose in life. I don't think having purpose is a matter of age; it's a matter of personality, outlook, values, and philosophy.

However, it's also a matter of definition. I suspect many people just equate "purpose" with career and raising a family, and that's as far as their thinking goes.

My conception of "purpose" has changed through the years. In my early years, it was more defined in terms of work and career. By the time I reached 35, it had become redefined internally -- in terms of who I was becoming as a person, my learning and growth. That links to relationships. Later in life, I started to understand that following any of your values is a purpose, and I started to identify my values more explicitly, finding that I had quite a number of them. I understood that even something as simple as appreciating nature can be a part of purpose.

A central theme for me is learning and growth. The learning could be psychological, spiritual, intellectual, emotional, relational, or spiritual. Anything that takes me forward in any of those regards is "on purpose," as far as I'm concerned.

Anything that supports that is also "on purpose." For example, anything I do that supports my physical health is part of that purpose. Anything that supports my mental health is part of that purpose. Anything I do to take care of myself is part of that purpose.

Broadly speaking, my purpose is to have a happy, satisfying, fulfilling life. (When I say "happy," I don't just mean passing pleasures, although those are fine; I'm talking about enduring happiness or contentment). Anything that leads me there is on purpose. In general, that means trying to focus on what I value, what I think matters, and to avoid spending too much time/energy on things that don't.

However, having a happy, enjoyable life also means (especially in retirement) plenty of time for resting, relaxing, farting around, doing nothing in particular, staring out the window, playing games, whatever. All of that is also part of purpose. "All work and no play..."

So just to hammer that point home (because people invariably misunderstand) -- none of my purposes feels like "work" to me ("work" in the sense of drudgery, obligation, duty, something you're doing for external rewards). If something starts to feel like a duty or a chore, I just stop and move on to something else. I've already achieved enough in my life; I don't need to do anything more. I don't need to "prove" anything to anyone or myself. Anything beyond what I've done already is just icing on the cake, and I only pursue it if I enjoy it.

I like the positive psychology concept of using your specific strengths in an area that produces "flow." I do that through writing. Over the past year or so, I've created a blog and then written a book. I enjoy the process of writing, and I am proud of the work I do, although it is small potatoes in the grand scheme. It helps other people and honors what I think is important, and that feels good.

Since retiring, I've found the "frog on a lily pad" image useful. Instead of setting one big goal, I jump from interest to interest, just based on how I feel. I try to carve out small, manageable projects, rather than bite off more than I can chew. As long as it's interesting and enjoyable, I continue. When it starts to get old or boring, or I feel like I've said all I need to say, I hop to the next lily pad.

I could ramble on some more, but that's probably enough.


Awesome post. Thanks. It’s been 10 months for me and I’m definitely a frog on a lilly pad, trying this and that but resisting committing to anything, because it’s so much easier to get into things than out of things.

I got very proficient over 28 years in my profession of nonprofit fundraising and got satisfaction from being “an expert.” I find it a bit tough to just leave all that behind and, once recently, I agreed to write a development plan for an organization I sometimes volunteer with. It was enjoyable and satisfying to feel like an expert again. However, it’s clear that they would next like me to volunteer to implement it, which would be doing my old job but without any pay. Instead, I gave them a very fair price for a contract about a month ago and haven’t heard a peep from them since. Fine with me.

You’ve been gone two years. Have you let go your profession fully and, if so, was it difficult?
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Old 05-12-2021, 01:45 PM   #51
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I realize I'm an odd duck on this subject but I never understood the need to have a purpose in life other than to enjoy as much of it while one can.

A few years ago I posted the following reply on this forum. I young person was wondering what to do with his new-found free time.

"...I can think of a few ways to fight off the ennui:
Find a nice beach town in Italy. Sleep till 10. Quiet breakfast and cappuccino in town. Beach until 3. A nap. A cool shower.

Meet some new-found friends around 9-10PM for drinks and dinner al-fresco. Bed by 2AM every night.

Maybe work a few hours a week in a small Nice art gallery; meet some interesting people; maybe find a nice girl who's last name starts with "de" or "von" who's similarly inclined. (Make sure she's telling the truth when she says she's not married)..."
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Old 05-12-2021, 04:42 PM   #52
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I realize I'm an odd duck on this subject but I never understood the need to have a purpose in life other than to enjoy as much of it while one can.
+1

After 61 years of hard work and delayed gratification, my purpose during the past 12 years has been to cash in on said delayed gratification. In other words, to get all the well deserved enjoyment possible out of what life I have left.

I would have a couple of words for anyone who don't approve, but those couple of words are not very polite or appropriate for this well mannered message board.
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Old 05-12-2021, 05:00 PM   #53
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+1

After 61 years of hard work and delayed gratification, my purpose during the past 12 years has been to cash in on said delayed gratification. In other words, to get all the well deserved enjoyment possible out of what life I have left.
Agree 100%. Life is too short.

In my particular case, my 'hard work' was actually a lot of fun so my RE was more of an extension of an already good life
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Old 05-12-2021, 06:42 PM   #54
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You’ve been gone two years. Have you let go your profession fully and, if so, was it difficult?
I was a psychologist, and that's a hard one to let go completely, because it colors how you think, how you manage your inner life, how you relate to other people. It sort of becomes a part of you. So, certain parts of it are embedded in me, and I don't think they are going away.

But throwing off the professional role itself -- hell yeah, I did that as soon as I could. It was like taking off a suit and tie, and putting on jeans and t-shirt. I felt like I could relax and be my complete self. No more concerns about Being Professional. I loved being free of that. That happened immediately. In fact, it was happening before I left.

If I look at my writing, I can see myself transition from the style I cultivated in my career (neutral, objective, dry) to a more personal and conversational style. That took about a year.

So, in terms of letting go, I'd say that some pieces fell off right away, others took longer to fall away, and some are still with me.
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Old 05-12-2021, 06:57 PM   #55
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"I realize I'm an odd duck on this subject but I never understood the need to have a purpose in life other than to enjoy as much of it while one can."

Yeah Baby!

That is my purpose throughout my entire life.

To do as much as I want to do, to do what I need to do to finance the first and to do as little as possible of what the boss would like me to do.
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Old 05-12-2021, 07:19 PM   #56
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I was a psychologist, and that's a hard one to let go completely, because it colors how you think, how you manage your inner life, how you relate to other people. It sort of becomes a part of you. So, certain parts of it are embedded in me, and I don't think they are going away.

But throwing off the professional role itself -- hell yeah, I did that as soon as I could. It was like taking off a suit and tie, and putting on jeans and t-shirt. I felt like I could relax and be my complete self. No more concerns about Being Professional. I loved being free of that. That happened immediately. In fact, it was happening before I left.

If I look at my writing, I can see myself transition from the style I cultivated in my career (neutral, objective, dry) to a more personal and conversational style. That took about a year.

So, in terms of letting go, I'd say that some pieces fell off right away, others took longer to fall away, and some are still with me.
bolds mine.
I think this is true for a lot of professional people. I certainly was for me. It took me over 2 years to 'be me' and not some inner image of how I was 'supposed' be/act/react.
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Old 05-12-2021, 07:31 PM   #57
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I was 30 when I went to law school and 33 when I started practicing, so I never really inhabited the persona of "lawyer". In my mind, I was always the submarine officer and nuclear engineer of my 20s. So it was not difficult at all for me to leave the law behind when I retired, even though I did it for 27 years. Now, I'm just a guy who grows vegetables, does odd jobs around the house and, in better days, sings tenor in the choir. To paraphrase a really great man, "the world will little note nor long remember what I have done here."
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Old 05-12-2021, 09:30 PM   #58
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Sorry to disappoint most planners here.. but life has no purpose and no meaning. At least no more purpose than ants digging holes and moving dirt from one spot to another on earth.

Human life on earth is like a microscopic dot on timelines of earth and universe. It's fairy-tale and make-believe to put purpose in life.

Having said that.. one should try to stay physically active as much as possible. It keeps mind off of the reality of universe.
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Old 05-13-2021, 02:58 AM   #59
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I have been dedicating the lion's share of my now 6 months of RE life to learning the guitar and singing. It's been a focus for about 10 years now, but my time spent has gone from about 10 hours/week to 40 hours/week post retirement. Luckily I greatly enjoy the journey because the destination to where I want to be as far as a minimal skill set is still a long way off :-)
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Old 05-13-2021, 08:34 AM   #60
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Sorry to disappoint most planners here.. but life has no purpose and no meaning. At least no more purpose than ants digging holes and moving dirt from one spot to another on earth.

Human life on earth is like a microscopic dot on timelines of earth and universe. It's fairy-tale and make-believe to put purpose in life.

Having said that.. one should try to stay physically active as much as possible. It keeps mind off of the reality of universe.
"Life is empty and meaningless. And it is empty and meaningless that life is empty and meaningless."

We invent our own meaning. One doesn't find a purpose. One creates a purpose. And one can choose to not create a purpose or a meaning. But just go and smell the roses and enjoy the sunshine.

For me, that is the reason for FIRE. To not have someone else's purpose in life forced onto my life. To choose my own meanings, day by day, moment by moment.
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