Career advice for one of my kids

[SecondCor521]

Sorry if I missed it, but does the kid know anybody currently working in the field? I highly recommend mentor's, job shadowing, internships, etc. to get real world exposure. Be a shame to let academics alone drive the decision. Hopefully the college/university can help with this.

I have a friend who is a mechanical engineer (we were colleagues at a Fortune 500 tech company) and put the two of them in touch with each other on Linked In a while back (maybe 6-8 months ago) when my son was thinking about switching to civil.

I think part of the conversation then was trying to get a mind picture of what life would be like after graduation / on the job. I don't think he got enough of what he needed there but perhaps at least enough to decide to stick with mechanical at the time.

 

[omni550]

Maybe show his cool stuff that engineers work on/create, like here:

https://interestingengineering.com/innovation

omni

 

[ivinsfan]

I don't understand the view of posters here (mostly engineers) basically saying to suck it up, it's pays great, my favorite is you don't use much of that really hard stuff in your job, which is basically saying just power through and it should be OK.


If you can't change majors and direction when you are 20 or 21 when can you? The guy has given it a good try and wants to move on.



Let me ask you engineers in your career what other people with what type of degrees did you interact with and find most valuable? Such as an EE adjacent job that might fit SecCor son better.

 

[latexman]

I don't understand the view of posters here (mostly engineers) basically saying to suck it up, it's pays great, my favorite is you don't use much of that really hard stuff in your job, which is basically saying just power through and it should be OK.

If you can't change majors and direction when you are 20 or 21 when can you? The guy has given it a good try and wants to move on.

Let me ask you engineers in your career what other people with what type of degrees did you interact with and find most valuable? Such as an EE adjacent job that might fit SecCor son better.

My position is, it's 4 weeks to go until the end of the semester. The problems are in core classes, not engineering classes. It's probably past "drop day". He's stuck, unless he applies for a medical leave. IOW, his GPA will suffer greatly if he gives up and stops trying, so, later, if he does switch majors, or not, he has an uphill battle against a self-sabatoged GPA. No matter what he decides to do, he'll have to overcome the low GPA from this semester whether he stays in Engineering or not.

If he can't power through it, or hang in there and do his best to minimize the GPA losses, then pull him out and play the medical leave card (if it can be justified, we had 3 Dr. letters supporting our kids's ML).

To my knowledge, one can't change majors in the middle of the semester after "drop day", and get released from some bad grades. The GPA still gets calculated. Or, am I mistaken?

Timewise, the further one gets from university, the less important is the degree and GPA. It's the person and what they can do. But one has to get a start in a good company on a good salary structure. Thats where the degree and GPA come in for most young people. There are other ways to get on that high salary path. Performance works no matter the degree. I've seen nepotism work for a very few. It was common knowledge in one plant, there was a worthless engineer that was "untouchable".

 

[ivinsfan]

My position is, it's 4 weeks to go until the end of the semester. The problems are in core classes, not engineering classes. It's probably past "drop day". He's stuck, unless he applies for a medical leave. IOW, his GPA will suffer greatly if he gives up and stops trying, so, later, if he does switch majors, or not, he has an uphill battle against a self-sabatoged GPA. No matter what he decides to do, he'll have to overcome the low GPA from this semester whether he stays in Engineering or not.

If he can't power through it, or hang in there and do his best to minimize the GPA losses, then pull him out and play the medical leave card (if it can be justified, we had 3 Dr. letters supporting our kids's ML).

To my knowledge, one can't change majors in the middle of the semester after "drop day", and get released from some bad grades. The GPA still gets calculated. Or, am I mistaken?

Timewise, the further one gets from university, the less important is the degree and GPA. It's the person and what they can do. But one has to get a start in a good company on a good salary structure. Thats where the degree and GPA come in for most young people. There are other ways to get on that high salary path. Performance works no matter the degree. I've seen nepotism workd for a very few.

I took this as a going forward change in path. No one said anything about giving up just about changing things out. In fact you don't want to make a decision about changing majors on the fly as in switching for the sake of switching.



Anyone who parents kids in college wants to think about this. For example listen to your kid and watch for signs of classwork unhappiness. As you point out it's much better to do this before the kid might reach their breaking point. I don't think any parent wants to push a kid that far, but sometimes we can get caught up in the whole process and don't see the forest for the trees.



Hard working bright kids can get caught up in trying to please their parents. Or they don't want to "disappoint" their parents. Some of these kids have sailed through every obstacle they ever encountered and as parents we might not realize how young and vulnerable they can be.

 

[latexman]

I took this as a going forward change in path. No one said anything about giving up just about changing things out. In fact you don't want to make a decision about changing majors on the fly as in switching for the sake of switching.

Anyone who parents kids in college wants to think about this. For example listen to your kid and watch for signs of classwork unhappiness. As you point out it's much better to do this before the kid might reach their breaking point. I don't think any parent wants to push a kid that far, but sometimes we can get caught up in the whole process and don't see the forest for the trees.

Hard working bright kids can get caught up in trying to please their parents. Or they don't want to "disappoint" their parents. Some of these kids have sailed through every obstacle they ever encountered and as parents we might not realize how young and vulnerable they can be.

Obviously, it would be up to the son to decide what he is going to do, and I'd support them in their decision, but he has to know the downside of making a mid-semester change on his continuing education no matter what degree he pursues after. It's the way the system works.

I've seen a lot kids have problems in classes from time to time. The majority try to power through it. Most survive and advance. Some change majors, change schools, or enter the work force. College is not for everyone.

 

[ivinsfan]

Obviously, it would be up to the son to decide what he is going to do, and I'd support them in their decision, but he has to know the downside of making a mid-semester change on his continuing education no matter what degree he pursues after. It's the way the system works.

I've seen a lot kids have problems in classes from time to time. The majority try to power through it. Most survive and advance. Some change majors, change schools, or enter the work force. College is not for everyone.

I admire a kid that can speak up to a parent and say this isn't working or I am not satisfied with the path I took. It's a sign of maturity and also a compliment to the parent involved. These discussions are important.



There is a lot that doesn't work about our higher ed system and penalizing and kid for change their minds is one of them . Anyway good luck to all you parents with kids in college or entering college.

 

[SecondCor521]

My position is, it's 4 weeks to go until the end of the semester. The problems are in core classes, not engineering classes. It's probably past "drop day". He's stuck, unless he applies for a medical leave. IOW, his GPA will suffer greatly if he gives up and stops trying, so, later, if he does switch majors, or not, he has an uphill battle against a self-sabatoged GPA. No matter what he decides to do, he'll have to overcome the low GPA from this semester whether he stays in Engineering or not.

If he can't power through it, or hang in there and do his best to minimize the GPA losses, then pull him out and play the medical leave card (if it can be justified, we had 3 Dr. letters supporting our kids's ML).

To my knowledge, one can't change majors in the middle of the semester after "drop day", and get released from some bad grades. The GPA still gets calculated. Or, am I mistaken?

To clarify some things:

We were discussing him changing majors, not quitting mid-semester. I don't see where I even mentioned the latter.

He did drop one class last Friday, which was an engineering class, not a core class.

At this point medical leave is probably not necessary. After talking with me and dropping the troublesome class, he seems to be doing much better.

Changing his major is something that can happen for him any time, and doesn't really impact the current semester. Obviously he may have to add time to finish the degree depending on what he switches to.

As long as he has a reasonable plan to become self-sufficient, I'm supportive. At this point I think the plan is to figure out a plan.

 

[a60dan]

I just retired after 38 years as an Electrical Engineering Manager.

Sometime to DWs chagrin, it’s in my blood.

My thoughts:

• Do what you love
• learn from your mistakes - that’s experience
• wisdom is not repeating your mistakes
• don’t do it exclusively for the money
• Co-op programs get you experience and the pay helped with tuition
• you can and should change jobs for a more well rounded career (I didn’t)
• don’t compromise on your moral compass
• vacations are important- don’t work on vacation
• my job is to make my boss successful
• Remember that people aren’t like the Engineering laws of physics
• half of your success is how well you
  deal with people

 

[LastBoomer]

Back up

As someone else stated, backup and do personality/affinity/ability test before spending a lot of money to be miserable. Your son sounds like engineering personality (Myers-Briggs ISTX type), but maybe he doesn’t find it interesting. Sometimes a great professor can make s difference—I almost became a pure math major due to an influential college professor.

Best class I ever took in life was first class in MBA program. The topic? One’s self. A lot of personality/ability tests. I became convinced of two things that informed my very successful snd satisfying career thereafter: Self knowledge is the most important knowledge, and (2), everyone has latent talents. Best to discover all of this at the early part of one’s career.

 

[Earlyretirementology]

I - who lurks here frequently but never posts - felt so strongly about your question I went thru the password reset nightmare just to share what has proven to be the best bit of coaching ever given to me on this topic.

I am 57, FIREd at 52, and had the technology existed my father would have written the exact same post about me in 1985 while I was studying Computer Engineering at the University of Illinois. I thought I wanted to develop bionic limbs (from the $6M Man generation and so was taking a nightmare schedule of EE, CS, ME and Chmn courses. Along the way I discovered that I was no longer the smartest guy in the room, nor on the block, and while I could learn anything- I couldn't do it anywhere as quickly as a lot of other people. Basically I had too short an attention span to crank thru 5 pages of equations without missing a negative sign somewhere and frankly had no desire to spend the rest of my life in that endeavor.

After a semiconductor physics exam in which I got a 42/100, I went to the professor and basically core-dumped... asked him if he I thought I should give up. He starting laughing and shared that a 42 was the 3rd highest score of the semester. I noted that being the 3rd least incompetent engineer wasn't really a marketable skill and he said "you don't really think we expect you to get all those answers in 3 hours do you? We are looking for you to prove that you understand how to take what we teach you and apply it to what you will experience in the real world". IT CHANGED MY LIFE FOREVER. He taught me that Engineering school isn't about what you learn, it is about LEARNING HOW TO LEARN and RATIONALIZING PROBLEM-SOLVING. Few other majors do this.

I graduated BSEE, a decade later got an MBA in International Finance and ended up living all over the world running large sales organizations for technology companies. Patents? Nope. Elon Musk? Nope. But understanding technology and how to apply it meant really talented engineers wanted to work for me and clients wanted to buy from me. My engineering training was my super-power; 5 years after graduation no employer gave a damn about the degree; they cared about how it shaped my brain and what it could do for them.

Right or wrong the first half or more of engineering school is really about weeding people out... I saw plenty of guys sharper than me fail. It is a sick game. Plenty of your son's fellow students are having the same doubts, they just don't have the balls to admit it.

An engineer can be a businessman, but a businessman can never be an engineer. I hope my story helps in some way.

If you have got this far, a final tidbit for your son to read. Sooner or later he will take a class called TAM - Theoretical and Applied Mechanics. Almost 40 years later I still remember the final exam. One question. 50% of semester grade. It went like this:

At t=0 a tank is driving down a winding road (data provided about road). The turret is revolving (data given) and the gun is going up and down (data given).The gun has a shell (muzzle velocity etc given) Atmospheric and weather data provided. A duck is flying in a parabolic arc from A to B (data given)

FINAL EXAM QUESTION: When is the first time, in seconds, that the gunner should fire the shell in order to hit the duck.

The whiz kids panicked. Those of us who demonstrated how to logically break it down, discuss the relevant issues, and set it up in a form that could be arithmetically solved at some point - carried the day.

 

[jeffmete]

I went to a military academy out of high school and after an injury and Vietnam ending I decided to do something different, got married and went to GMI in mechanical eng and found out part way through I wanted to be a metallurgical engineer, but having a wife and a new son, decided to stick it out and get my BSME. Then went to graduate school for an MS in MetE. Took me a total of ten years! Could of been an MD! But had a good career that I enjoyed, so don’t panic!

 

[drcha]

Make a short list of professions that might interest him, identify the professional societies associated with them, go to those web sites and try to identify some opportunities to talk with people doing the jobs or interface with them at a career fair. Most people love to talk about their work. Some of the professional society web sites have a wealth of info.

Many of us end up in such "jack of all trades" niches, but we mostly do not start out that way. Employers are looking for specific skill sets that conform to specific job titles. Best to develop one even if it is not your final "destination." It's a way to get a foot in a door.

 

[indiajust]

If you are not sure what to do, school is an incredibly expensive place to find out.

 

[Sanbenito1]

I’m a Civil Engineer and it sounds like he might enjoy that, or Construction Management. Civil would allow him to work inside an office as well as outside in the field, in large or smaller towns, and for private companies, government, or as a military officer (I was in the Navy’s Civil Engineer Corp). Construction management can be quite stressful, generally pays less than engineering and often involves potentially distant travel to wherever the construction site is, and for extended periods. Still, it is very rewarding to be part of a team and see things built. Civil Engineers also do construction management for projects that they are involved with, but on a big job they may not be at the site all day like construction managers. If he decides to try his hand at one of the trades it will be seen as beneficial work experience in either of the above occupations

 

[38Chevy454]

Old engineering joke: mechanical engrs build weapons, civil engrs build targets.

I agree that a big part of engineering is learning problem solving, combined with determining solutions with less than optimum amount of information.

X2 on trying to get an intern job or better yet a co-op job to help see engineering from the working side.

 

[rodi]

To clarify some things:

We were discussing him changing majors, not quitting mid-semester. I don't see where I even mentioned the latter.

He did drop one class last Friday, which was an engineering class, not a core class.

At this point medical leave is probably not necessary. After talking with me and dropping the troublesome class, he seems to be doing much better.

Changing his major is something that can happen for him any time, and doesn't really impact the current semester. Obviously he may have to add time to finish the degree depending on what he switches to.

As long as he has a reasonable plan to become self-sufficient, I'm supportive. At this point I think the plan is to figure out a plan.

SecondCor - you are a good Dad. That much is obvious from this thread.

 

[RobbieB]

I - who lurks here frequently but never posts - felt so strongly about your question I went thru the password reset nightmare just to share what has proven to be the best bit of coaching ever given to me on this topic.

I am 57, FIREd at 52, and had the technology existed my father would have written the exact same post about me in 1985 while I was studying Computer Engineering at the University of Illinois. I thought I wanted to develop bionic limbs (from the $6M Man generation and so was taking a nightmare schedule of EE, CS, ME and Chmn courses. Along the way I discovered that I was no longer the smartest guy in the room, nor on the block, and while I could learn anything- I couldn't do it anywhere as quickly as a lot of other people. Basically I had too short an attention span to crank thru 5 pages of equations without missing a negative sign somewhere and frankly had no desire to spend the rest of my life in that endeavor.

After a semiconductor physics exam in which I got a 42/100, I went to the professor and basically core-dumped... asked him if he I thought I should give up. He starting laughing and shared that a 42 was the 3rd highest score of the semester. I noted that being the 3rd least incompetent engineer wasn't really a marketable skill and he said "you don't really think we expect you to get all those answers in 3 hours do you? We are looking for you to prove that you understand how to take what we teach you and apply it to what you will experience in the real world". IT CHANGED MY LIFE FOREVER. He taught me that Engineering school isn't about what you learn, it is about LEARNING HOW TO LEARN and RATIONALIZING PROBLEM-SOLVING. Few other majors do this.

I graduated BSEE, a decade later got an MBA in International Finance and ended up living all over the world running large sales organizations for technology companies. Patents? Nope. Elon Musk? Nope. But understanding technology and how to apply it meant really talented engineers wanted to work for me and clients wanted to buy from me. My engineering training was my super-power; 5 years after graduation no employer gave a damn about the degree; they cared about how it shaped my brain and what it could do for them.

Right or wrong the first half or more of engineering school is really about weeding people out... I saw plenty of guys sharper than me fail. It is a sick game. Plenty of your son's fellow students are having the same doubts, they just don't have the balls to admit it.

An engineer can be a businessman, but a businessman can never be an engineer. I hope my story helps in some way.

If you have got this far, a final tidbit for your son to read. Sooner or later he will take a class called TAM - Theoretical and Applied Mechanics. Almost 40 years later I still remember the final exam. One question. 50% of semester grade. It went like this:

At t=0 a tank is driving down a winding road (data provided about road). The turret is revolving (data given) and the gun is going up and down (data given).The gun has a shell (muzzle velocity etc given) Atmospheric and weather data provided. A duck is flying in a parabolic arc from A to B (data given)

FINAL EXAM QUESTION: When is the first time, in seconds, that the gunner should fire the shell in order to hit the duck.

The whiz kids panicked. Those of us who demonstrated how to logically break it down, discuss the relevant issues, and set it up in a form that could be arithmetically solved at some point - carried the day.

Hehe, the fist chem exam I took resulted in a score of 47. Forty seven. I gazed upon the number with disgust and dismay. Shortly after I was somewhat lifted by the prof announcing the median on the test was 45.

Later on I learned that universities like to give tests that nobody gets a hundred on. Because if anyone gets 100 we'll never know how good the best person was.

Seriously brutal academic games.

 

[tb001]

I - who lurks here frequently but never posts - felt so strongly about your question I went thru the password reset nightmare just to share what has proven to be the best bit of coaching ever given to me on this topic.

I am 57, FIREd at 52, and had the technology existed my father would have written the exact same post about me in 1985 while I was studying Computer Engineering at the University of Illinois. I thought I wanted to develop bionic limbs (from the $6M Man generation and so was taking a nightmare schedule of EE, CS, ME and Chmn courses. Along the way I discovered that I was no longer the smartest guy in the room, nor on the block, and while I could learn anything- I couldn't do it anywhere as quickly as a lot of other people. Basically I had too short an attention span to crank thru 5 pages of equations without missing a negative sign somewhere and frankly had no desire to spend the rest of my life in that endeavor.

After a semiconductor physics exam in which I got a 42/100, I went to the professor and basically core-dumped... asked him if he I thought I should give up. He starting laughing and shared that a 42 was the 3rd highest score of the semester. I noted that being the 3rd least incompetent engineer wasn't really a marketable skill and he said "you don't really think we expect you to get all those answers in 3 hours do you? We are looking for you to prove that you understand how to take what we teach you and apply it to what you will experience in the real world". IT CHANGED MY LIFE FOREVER. He taught me that Engineering school isn't about what you learn, it is about LEARNING HOW TO LEARN and RATIONALIZING PROBLEM-SOLVING. Few other majors do this.

I graduated BSEE, a decade later got an MBA in International Finance and ended up living all over the world running large sales organizations for technology companies. Patents? Nope. Elon Musk? Nope. But understanding technology and how to apply it meant really talented engineers wanted to work for me and clients wanted to buy from me. My engineering training was my super-power; 5 years after graduation no employer gave a damn about the degree; they cared about how it shaped my brain and what it could do for them.

Right or wrong the first half or more of engineering school is really about weeding people out... I saw plenty of guys sharper than me fail. It is a sick game. Plenty of your son's fellow students are having the same doubts, they just don't have the balls to admit it.

An engineer can be a businessman, but a businessman can never be an engineer. I hope my story helps in some way.

If you have got this far, a final tidbit for your son to read. Sooner or later he will take a class called TAM - Theoretical and Applied Mechanics. Almost 40 years later I still remember the final exam. One question. 50% of semester grade. It went like this:

At t=0 a tank is driving down a winding road (data provided about road). The turret is revolving (data given) and the gun is going up and down (data given).The gun has a shell (muzzle velocity etc given) Atmospheric and weather data provided. A duck is flying in a parabolic arc from A to B (data given)

FINAL EXAM QUESTION: When is the first time, in seconds, that the gunner should fire the shell in order to hit the duck.

The whiz kids panicked. Those of us who demonstrated how to logically break it down, discuss the relevant issues, and set it up in a form that could be arithmetically solved at some point - carried the day.

Spot on, IME. And we shared an ulma mater and quite possibly a TAM class. But my memory was an o chem class where my score of 38% earned me a B.

Many of the STEM schools take this approach. Weed out the ones who don’t really want to be there by crushing souls the first two years. For students who have normally done well in school, which is all of them at a decent engineering school, those exams where 42% is a win can be extremely demoralizing. I don’t know if that’s what’s going on with your son SecondCor, but it’s worth figuring out if it’s the career or the classes that make him miserable.

And fwiw, I am all for switching majors/careers when there’s a better fit. I’ve done it myself and encourage others who aren’t happy to do the same. But school coursework is different than a job.

 

[Masquernom]

At the beginning of my sophomore year of engineering school, I had a class where my test average was about 27/100. I took a drop/add form to the professor to drop the class. When I stopped by his office and told him why I was there, he asked why I was dropping his class. I told him I was spectacularly failing his class. He looked in his grade book and told me I was right in the middle of the class. I didn't believe him and dropped the class. Ended up dropping out of college completely that semester as my grade average in my other engineering classes was much better. I worked for a year, saved up some money and gave it another try. Figured out how the grading system worked and finished my degree. It was one of the harder things I've done in my life, but I'd do it again.

 

[finnski1]

Another BSME here. I agree with some that many schools try to weed out people in the first 2 years. In fact my toughest class was a second semester Dynamics class that I am certain they used to weed out the final contingent before making it to Junior year.
I'm not suggesting to tough it out but just be aware that, IMHO, he is in the very semester when the weeding gets the toughest.
I also remember getting the grade of 40/100 on exams and becoming very depressed and angst filled because I thought I was going to fail and I had already been married a year earlier. At least he doesn't have that burden thrown on top.
I'm sure he will work it out.

 

[Mansderm]

This is the main problem, IMHO

If you are not sure what to do, school is an incredibly expensive place to find out.

Not an engineer but raised 2! The pressure in college is so intense, either due to course load, finances, necessary GPA, graduation deadlines...this is supposed to be some of the best years...finding yourself, making new friends, freedom to explore. But now it's a race to the end with very stiff competition.

My oldest son is a double major chemist/chemical engineer and youngest son a computer engineer. Being pre-med myself, I explained my strategy to maintaining GPA...a few easy A classes with the hard ones. Summer school for the killer classes. Well that doesn't work with engineering or any major anymore. There are no easy As, you don't have time to take fun classes and the killer classes are not offered in summer anymore. The fact that you can't take a few fun classes means you really have no release. You can't even take electives outside your major.

So my advice is let him take some time off or drop to a lesser course load. My youngest went straight thru, finishing on schedule. My oldest...quite the other story but end results same...both financially secure and happy with job in their 30's.

But....fortunately I could afford to let my older son take the long road. My oldest started as a 2nd year at an engineering school (due to AP), burned out fast, found pot, changed majors, graduated with accounting degree, grew up, went back for management, dropped out, went back pre-med at a community College and met a Chem professor who mentored him and changed his life, proceeded to apply to med school, got accepted but said no and decided to go back to engineering and finally got the Chem engineering degree with honors from very good school and got a fantastic job.

It was expensive, but I could relate. I took 5 years to get my degree before med school, changed my major multiple times, graduated with a record number of hours, but took quite a few "fun classes" like nutrition, accounting, business law, SCUBA, geology, gymnastics, etc. Neither of my sons were allowed to take anything "outside their major" which I think is totally ridiculous.

The bottom line is you want him to have a career he's happy with. My older son is a talker...he talked and got to know his professors. I think that is very important. It was one of those relationships that helped him decide what he really wanted to do. Co-op is very important too. He got a co-op in a biochem lab and a competitor actually hired him after graduation. He did work part-time from first graduation to getting back into engineering school but it was still very expensive. He's my biggest investment so far...no diversification there... I guess some would call it a high risk! Glad it's over! Hoping the best for your son...they are the future!

 

[CCdaCE]

Just to pile on what others have said, I am a few years earlier in the same process of advising my kids (still in High School). I am a Civil Engr., but, I began with the end in mind and am advising them to do the same. Still a hard climb to figure out "what you wanna be when you grow up". But, as a CE, and my daughter interested in medicine and bio/chem/med, I have no idea what is out there in the real world. But, in CE as in many fields there are a wide array of jobs. So, I told her to search some job openings and see what sounds interesting, for a start.

So, yeah, you can either earn your degree, and go from there or switch degrees and take a totally different direction. One of my roommates was a gear head and started in Mech. Engr. and ended up as a lawyer. I never saw that coming - all he ever talked about was engines. Another roommate got his ME degree and started/continued a concrete business for 15 years. Now he is done with that hustle and works as an ME in manuf. Guessing he is glad he had that degree to "fall back on". Another EE I know tests computer chips/etc. all day for hard drives, not disliking design, just designing testing and nothing to do with coming up with the chip itself (on the first iteration), but having input on the next iteration of chips and tests. Another former friend worked for the same company doing the initial design. Obviously, there's everything from research to sales.

Again, like others have said, take some personality tests, aptitude, etc. and see what's a "natural" fit, but it sounds like you already have a good feeling. These things change over time, as well, or did for me anyway.

Also, the internship experience was extremely valuable to me. I went from wanting to be an AutoCAD drafter to an engineer. But I found a good internship and then job (different employers) where I could do both, and designed & drafted my own first set of plans that I stamped as a PE. Also figured out what I DIDN'T want to do as far as working with clients, politics, rainmaking, etc.

I wasn't very motivated in college. One of my professors 2 years in was basically like, "Hey, do you want to be here or what?" I was getting C's without studying or trying. It pretty much never changed unless it was a class I was interested in. It is to be determined if it is within his desire or aptitude or interest. I won't pretend to diagnose. For me, I'm glad someone gave me a kick in the ass, I have always needed it. Whether it was education, travel, etc., I never was too ambitious to start out, but once I got going or got there, I was generally pretty happy.

I was pushed toward leadership and management right away since turnover was high when I started 20 yrs. ago. Now I manage projects, but, don't manage managers anymore, other than guide new people if they ask. Did manage engineers for a couple years in a different office. Probably because I was the best of the choices (lack of "volunteers")? It was good experience. Again, I learned what I don't want. Mostly dealing with the public, stakeholders, etc. that are severely uneducated on the issues but entitled/demand the world.

But, back to where I started, you gotta know where you're headed and what you're made of to get you there sometimes, regardless of degree. The pressure IS on, I tell my kids if they don't work hard, a foreign kid will eat your lunch; gladly willing to work harder than they are and the life my kids are accustomed to wasn't free. I probably haven't done them any favors in that realm.

No one said life was easy. That's been the hardest thing for my kids to deal with. Failure.

-CC

 

[ivinsfan]

If you are not sure what to do, school is an incredibly expensive place to find out.

What a broad statement. Sounds good when you write it out.


Do any of you posters remember being 20 years old. Sometimes its not always about the money.


A young kid picks major maybe he thinks it look interesting or plays to his strength. He stays in school and out of trouble. Two years in after several classes he admits to himself this isn't what I thought it was, or it isn't me or any number of things.



He's mature enough to reach out a parent and express those thoughts. He and the parent start talking about what might be a better choice. Maybe he'll be a math major or go to business school or turn to a science major. This happens all the time everywhere.


Responses range from suck it up, to people patting themselves on the back about how they made it through and came out fine. And throw in a few leave school until you find out what you want, go get a job, and the big one don't waste money.



Life is a process and maturing is a huge part of the process. This young man and his family will be just fine. How many people do you know that knew exactly who they were at 20. Society puts enough pressure on people as it is.

 

[latexman]

Do any of you posters remember being 20 years old. Sometimes its not always about the money.

A young kid picks major maybe he thinks it look interesting or plays to his strength. He stays in school and out of trouble. Two years in after several classes he admits to himself this isn't what I thought it was, or it isn't me or any number of things.

He's mature enough to reach out a parent and express those thoughts. He and the parent start talking about what might be a better choice. Maybe he'll be a math major or go to business school or turn to a science major. This happens all the time everywhere.

Yep. At my college every engineer took the same classes in year 1. Year 2 they go into their discipline. Year 1 I was classified as a ME. I was going to lean towards HVAC, b e c a u s e . . . my Dad was a HVAC contractor/non-engineer. After the end of the year 1 he and I were reviewing my grades. All A's and B's. Dean's list. He saw I had 2 A's in General Chemistry I and II. He also knew I won the "Chemistry Award" in HS. So he said, why not ChE? It was an epiphany for me, because I thought I wanted to be a HVAC ME, similar to Dad. So, I switched to ChE because I loved chemistry and my Dad thought it was cool. I still took Statics and Dynamics with the ME's. They thought I was crazy because those are their weeder classes. I made easy A's in them, and they were all crying how hard it was. I often wonder if I made the right choice, but ChE has been very good to me.