From my annual evaluation

[brewer12345]

"(brewer) has made progress in tempering his attitude/demeanor in light of the criticisms he received in his prior year review. We are encouraged by this effort, but the positive changes must come through consistently in order for (brewer) to make it to the next level."

Translation: I was told to shut my pie hole last year because it was hurting my chances for promotion, even though I am more than competent at the next level (or two) up. I duly shut my pie-hole. Meanwhile, it is still convenient to leave me stewing in my own juices where I currently sit, so this is trotted out again.

I hate working for these @ssholes.

 

[Cut-Throat]

I used to hear this kind of sh*t also.

Thanks for reminding me of why I no longer want to work

 

[retire@40]

"(brewer) has made progress in tempering his attitude/demeanor in light of the criticisms he received in his prior year review. We are encouraged by this effort, but the positive changes must come through consistently in order for (brewer) to make it to the next level."

How degrading! I don't know how you or anyone else would put up with that. I'm so glad I'm self-employed because I would never put up with crap like that. I would highly recommend you quit and start your own business.

 

[Cut-Throat]

 I'm so glad I'm self-employed because I would never put up with crap like that.  I would highly recommend you quit and start your own business.

I've got a better idea. Join the NBA for a year, pull down about $10 Million and then retire

 

[brewer12345]

How degrading!  I don't know how you or anyone else would put up with that.  I'm so glad I'm self-employed because I would never put up with crap like that.  I would highly recommend you quit and start your own business.

Unfotunately, I almost certainly would not make enough working for myself to cover my monthly nut. However, you can now see why the longest I have ever lasted in any one job is 3 years. About every three years, I seem to be pulling up stakes and moving to bigger and better things, usually with a whopping huge raise to go with it. I imagine that the jump I will be making this year will be no different.

 

[just a lurker]

You just need to learn how to interpret the comments !!! My evaluation had
the following: “He must also increase his effectiveness when confronted with projects, deliverables and assignments that he deems as poorly organized or not valueable to the overall big picture. This causes him to become unapproachable and difficult to work with, which are both undesirable characteristics.”
I just interpretted that to mean: That I do not tolerate stupidity well !!!!

 

[bow-tie]

"(brewer) has made progress in tempering his attitude/demeanor in light of the criticisms he received in his prior year review. We are encouraged by this effort, but the positive changes must come through consistently in order for (brewer) to make it to the next level."...

If there were a place for my comments, I would be tempted to write - - " After seeing the error of my ways, I will put forth a much greater effort in kissing the corporate ass in the upcoming year" :

I can't stand the game, and I wonder if it's worth it.

 

[parnass]

.. However, you can now see why the longest I have ever lasted in any one job is 3 years. About every three years, I seem to be pulling up stakes and moving to bigger and better things, usually with a whopping huge raise to go with it. ..

I stayed with my last employer for over 20 years, due mostly to the golden handcuffs consisting of a defined benefit pension, accrued vacation time, and the (company-created) illusion of good family medical benefits after retirement.

Now, I'm retired with a pension (but no family medical benefits) and the world is a different place. If I was in my 20s or 30s, I'd either work for the government or do exactly what you described -- change jobs and get a raise when/if the current job became stifling or otherwise unpleasant.

 

[brewer12345]

No way I am puckering up. However, I did make a concerted effort to shut my pie hole as much as possible. I even bought figurines of the "three monkeys": see no evil, hear no evil, say no evil. My friends here at the salt mine know that I have become a student of The Way Of The Third Monkey. In fact, I can often be seen in meetings mumbling "think of the third monkey" under my breath.

All to no avail, I guess. I suppose that the wise thing to do would be to continue keeping mum until I am out of here. However, I am very, very tempted to go back to being my acerbic self in the final weeks. Buttholes.

 

[Cal]

a student of The Way Of The Third Monkey.  In fact, I can often be seen in meetings mumbling "think of the third monkey" under my breath.

Love It!!!

I definitely need to try this.

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

"Needs to improve brevity of written materials, in particular e-mails and presentation comments. While the information is usually interesting and very useful, some people wish there was a little less of it".

Made me laugh for 5 full minutes.

On the rare occasions I got a bad review, I used to write a lengthy rebuttal. I had a super situation once where I had been fooling around with a female VP for a few weeks and broke it off with her, then a couple of years later ended up being reorganized into her division, reporting directly to her. She insisted that our prior fiasco would not be a problem whatsoever and that she could remain professional. My review that year was nothing short of an assasination. My rebuttal ran to 27 pages. The review was 2 pages.

 

[hocus]

I suppose that the wise thing to do would be to continue keeping mum until I am out of here....Buttholes.

I don't know if you have read the novel "1984," by George Orwell. If not, you have probably heard of it, and of "Big Brother." One of the scary things in it is that Big Brother is not willing to go along with Winston Smith just confessing to his thought-crimes and then being put to death for them. The way it works is that, he must actually change his beliefs. They don't want the surface words. They want him to truly come to love Big Brother.

It takes a long time, but eventually he doesn't just say that he loves Big Brother. He really, really does, down to the core of his being. Then they kill him.

 

[haha]

I had a super situation once where I had been fooling around with a female VP

That's comforting, TH.

Mikey

 

[brewer12345]

Heheh! I just got a call from the uber-butthole to tell me about my sh!tty bonus for this year. My total comp is roughly flat with what it was when I joined this sorry excuse for an employer three years ago (guess what inflation did to me in that time?). After giving me the news (another flat year) he then tried to talk up the 401k match and "total compensation". Message to Planet *******: I know to the dime what my total comp is and its still flat while cost of living is up 10% or better. And don't try to talk up the 401k match: you slashed the variable part of it this year!

These ass-clowns also gave me the wunerful nooz: they want me to start doing some of the work of the next position up to prove that I am able. But not a word was actually said about increased comp or any kind of timetable for actual promotion. Sorry, too little, too late, and feels way too patronizing.

I'm increasingly embarassed to be working here.

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

That's comforting, TH.

I didnt want Ed getting the wrong idea. At last post, he still wanted a 'reach around'.

Brewer...I got that neo promo without money offer a few times. I just told them that when they felt I was ready for the promotion and the associated raise, I felt I was ready to do the work.

But not before.

 

[Jay_Gatsby]

I just told them that when they felt I was ready for the promotion and the associated raise, I felt I was ready to do the work.

But not before.

Exactly. The "neo-promo" (I'd call it a "faux promo") is, in reality, merely an excuse to squeeze higher-level work out of an employee without paying for it. At the same time, the employee is doing work his boss is supposed to be doing. In an ideal situation, the employee's boss would be taking on duties belonging to his boss, and so on.... The reality is that the employee's boss will simply have more time to play golf.

It boggles the mind that a company can't tell whether an employee is capable of handling the additional responsibilities of a promotion -- without first trying him out in the position. If this is the case, what's the purpose of the annual review?

As for writing rebuttals, I used to do that. Eventually I learned that I was wasting my time. Nobody cared, except if something improper was said/done during the review process.

So what's the key to getting a glowing review? Ass-kissing is one way. For those of us unwilling to do so, however, I would advocate keeping copious amounts of information regarding your bosses' illegal activities and/or dirt about their lives. It's amazing what kinds of changes can be made to a review to avoid the disclosure of such information. In the war of office politics, there's only one rule:

Protect yourself.

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Besides that, it tells me that either my boss didnt manage to sell my promo to his boss, so the 2nd level manager suggested an intermediate step. Main problem there rests to some degree with the employee, for not making sure their second line manager thought they walked on water.

Or it tells me that my management chain is risk averse and doesnt want to step up to the plate, evaluate the situation and make a decision.

That latter part should make you start to contemplate some different managers...

 

[Tommy_Dolitte]

It's all a game....I try to do my job very, very well--and at opportune times very professionally remind everyone how lazy, empirical, and poor leaders/managers we are---slaves to the very thing we try to make---for those that remember the REAL goal.

 

[brewer12345]

Brewer...I got that neo promo without money offer a few times.  I just told them that when they felt I was ready for the promotion and the associated raise, I felt I was ready to do the work.

But not before.

Eh, I am out of here within a few months anyway. Consideriong how pathetically disorganized these fools are, they probably won't even have their sh!t together to get me to do any of this before I am a memory. I think I will just not be rocking the boat (although if they push me far enough, I may be writing a letter to the SEC and/or Mr. Spitzer on my way out).

 

[John Galt]

Brewer, I have had the same thoughts. Don't do it.
No one likes a "rat".

JG

 

[Eagle43]

I've had evaluations that make me want to go hide; some that so impressed me I wanted an autograph. Here's the rub, though. They were meaningless. If you had a sponsor at mega-corp, you went up. If not, you got the usual merit increases and an atta-boy or two.

I don't know what others think, but I am definitely convinced that it's who you know (in the corporate world) that will make the difference. Not true in all cases, but most.

BTW, I never contested the performance report; never fought 'em. Last supvr was annoyed. Said if you don't agree, write something down. I refused, because I was 60 then, and my retirement could not be hosed.

And here I am. Current motto is: If you're independent, who cares what anyone says. The only person who evaluates me is me. (DW exception, of course).

 

[JOhn Galt]

Yep, I'm 60 also and the only person evaluating me is me. I consult DW, but my opinion still trumps hers

JG

 

[sgeeeee]

Throughout my career, I made sure that I got a copy of the review form from HR and wrote my own glowing review a week or two ahead of the date when management was supposed to have them completed. I was not modest in completing the form. I then supplied the entire thing to my management.

Sometimes they would bother to change a few things, but mostly they were lazy slugs who were happy to be done with the review. If they did change something and I didn't like it, I would make them very uncomfortable discussing the details of why they thought their wording was better than mine.

I always managed to get a review with nothing but positive comments. But it was still an unpleasant experience, and I dont' think it did me any good. At the end of the day, they do whatever they want. If your review justifies what they want to do, then they use it. If not, they screw you for some other reason. :-/

 

[John Galt]

Ooooh, SG; cynical cynical

JG

 

[Eagle43]

Throughout my career, I made sure that I got a copy of the review form from HR and wrote my own glowing review a week or two ahead of the date when management was supposed to have them completed.  I was not modest in completing the form.  I then supplied the entire thing to my management.  

Sometimes they would bother to change a few things, but mostly they were lazy slugs who were happy to be done with the review.  If they did change something and I didn't like it, I would make them very uncomfortable discussing the details of why they thought their wording was better than mine.  

I always managed to get a review with nothing but positive comments.  But it was still an unpleasant experience, and I dont' think it did me any good.  At the end of the day, they do whatever they want.  If your review justifies what they want to do, then they use it.  If not, they screw you for some other reason.   :-/

In the military, I did the same thing. My supervisors were more than willing (lazy) to let me do the writing. They, however, did the rating. What counted was the ratings, not the verbosity. The performance report could say I had turned water into wine, but if the rater marked me down in any category, then boom the next guy got the promotion, the assignment, etc. Same was true in Mega-Corp.