How to cope with bad work situation?

[harley]

I am assuming you are in a government position based on the fact that ability has nothing to do with promotions. Get yourself out of there before you go postal.

And I'm assuming you are/were a gov't worker based on your assumption that worthless @ss monkeys aren't the ones that usually get promoted in private industry.

 

[brewer12345]

And I'm assuming you are/were a gov't worker based on your assumption that worthless @ss monkeys aren't the ones that usually get promoted in private industry.

In fairness, I have seen asshats get promoted in all kinds of organizations. The only place I have ever worked that did not have that dynamic was a 12 person hedge fund where the 3 principals were a quarter of the employees and showed up every day like the rest of us.

I currently do not work for a private employer, tho. I would have to say that I have not seen a more hidebound culture in any private company I have worked for.

 

[Milton]

This thread confuses me.

You note that you are “one of the highest performers in the department and the uber boss is quite well aware of how much he needs me … they essentially cannot afford to lose me, so I have a certain measure of protection … senior management knows full well they desperately need me”.

If all that is actually correct, I don’t understand why you are worried about “the non-trivial (sic) threat of retaliation: passed over for promotion, raises, bonuses; choice of assignments given; who gets stuck travelling for business (sometimes for months); who gets put under what sub boss …”. Clearly, the higher-ups cannot afford to punish an irreplaceable, essential, key employee like you: especially when you have so many attractive options elsewhere.

Speaking of which: I am also puzzled about your decision to look for transfer opportunities within the place you currently work at. Here are some of the comments that you have made about that place of business:

1. It has a “hidebound culture”;
2. It prefers “group kumbaya session(s)” to action;
   
3. It promotes “phenomenally bad” managers;
   
4. It has “an ossified culture that takes years (literally) to get rid of someone”;
   
5. “In the fine traditions of the organization, it appears they are spreading the blame as thinly as possible”;
   
6. “the culture … is clearly more about checking the box than solving problems”;
   
7. half of your fellow employees are “troglodytes (you) despise”;
   
8. “the senior management manual in this place dictates that they support middle mgmt vs. the peons”
   

Against all this, you have mentioned only two good points:

1. you believe in the organization’s mission; and
2. you really like megaboss, notwithstanding that he is a hands-off manager and has allowed all sorts of problems to develop/continue on his watch.

Given the above, I don’t understand why you are wasting your time “documenting things” and looking for internal transfer opportunities. Since you are confident in your marketability and acknowledge that there are “a surprising number of positions … enticing external openings I keep seeing”, simply take your own advice and “vote with (your) feet to solve the problem. Aggravating, but not the end of the world”.

 

[rescueme]

...simply take your own advice and “vote with (your) feet to solve the problem. Aggravating, but not the end of the world”.

I completely agree with your analysis. While I can understand the OP's situation from a personal POV (hey - we've all been there sometime in our working career), it sometimes comes down that you are the one that needs to make the change - neither the organization, nor the people in it can do it for you.

In my 40+ years of gainful employment I often felt many of the same frustrations of the OP. During that time, I was also told that if I didn't like the situation, I had two options (the front door, or the back door).

You can spend time (sometimes many years) being frustrated with a situation and many times it affects your work, your health, and your family. Three times I took one of those doors, and was better for it.

The answer is really in your own mind, and the actions you need to take are up to you; it is your life...

 

[Westernskies]

Have been shipped out to the hinterlands for a month with the useless boss' pet. Guess who got promoted today? The rectal suction provider wasting oxygen in the next cube down here with me. The other promotes in the department are chiefly distinguished by their ability to deep throat.

With all due respect, with an attitude like this about your employer and co-workers, how could you NOT get promoted? Do you feel this much angst when cashing your paycheck? If you are this unhappy, leave. No other option possible, you have developed too much animosity toward your employer to go anywhere in their organization anyway. And seriously, you wouldn't want to get promoted and have to work alongside "deep-throating rectal suction providers" you so abhor... Maybe you need to look inward as well as outward as to why this always seem to happen.

Good luck in your job search.

 

[brewer12345]

It is nice to get so much support from fellow posters.

The outcome of all the hand wrining and HR interrogation appears it will be the formal combination of two messed up, dysfunctional teams that worked hand in glove anyway. Rooty. Toot.

OTOH, one of the people I approached about a spot had a team member get tapped for a spot elsewhere in the organization, so now he has an opening. Looking promising.

 

[freebird5825]

It is nice to get so much support from fellow posters.

The outcome of all the hand wrining and HR interrogation appears it will be the formal combination of two messed up, dysfunctional teams that worked hand in glove anyway. Rooty. Toot.

OTOH, one of the people I approached about a spot had a team member get tapped for a spot elsewhere in the organization, so now he has an opening. Looking promising.

Excellent news.
You are very smart to pursue this route vs grinding in place. BTDT.
Crossing my fingers and toes for you.
Keep us posted.

 

[Alan]

Excellent news.
You are very smart to pursue this route vs grinding in place. BTDT.
Crossing my fingers and toes for you.
Keep us posted.

I agree (even though I don't know what BTDT means )

Best of luck Brewer

 

[W2R]

I agree (even though I don't know what BTDT means )

(Been There Done That)

Brewer, good luck on getting that transfer! We'll be cheering you on from the sidelines.

 

[KB]

I hope you get the transfer.

 

[DangerMouse]

And I'm assuming you are/were a gov't worker based on your assumption that worthless @ss monkeys aren't the ones that usually get promoted in private industry.

Actually I had extensive experience in both government and private enterprise. From my government experience I found those that were problems were never confronted. Every year they got their annual raise, no-one wanted to actually go to the bother of doing anything that would actually put any pressure on them to perform. At one time I was working side-by-side with an alcoholic who was probably out sick 50% of the time and the rest of the time she may as well have stayed at home. She never got written up, nor did anyone ever say she should not get her annual increment.

In private enterprise, I found if you work hard, you get rewarded. My first company, they gave me a 33% pay rise the first year in recognition of my efforts. Last company I worked at in private enterprise they promoted me after 3 months and each of the 3 years I was eligible gave me substantial bonuses and significant pay rises. I had 3 less than desirable employees that directly reported to me. All 3 were let go, only because HR were motivated and worked with me to make it happen.

However I do agree with what you are saying. There are good companies and bad companies, and I think even good companies sometimes have bad practices. I know at my last company which I considered to be good, when it came time to make the layoff list, pretty-girl syndrome kicked in along with people using it as an opportunity to take revenge against anyone they didn't really like for whatever reason.

 

[Nords]

It is nice to get so much support from fellow posters.

You must have pounded your DELETE key flat several hundred times before you came up with that response to those [moderator edit]'s* sympathetic suggestions...




*[This is sarcasm, not an actual moderator edit. No moderators, current or emeritus, were harmed in the construction of this post. As far as we can tell.]

 

[brewer12345]

You must have pounded your DELETE key flat several hundred times before you came up with that response to those [moderator edit]'s sympathetic suggestions...

Eh, on the road and coming down with a cold. I don't have the energy for that sort of thing and one of the two aholes is already on my ignore list. In any case, I am well aware that they are basically just ignorant. Not taking the bait this time.

 

[brewer12345]

Like I said, many speak from a position of ignorance. In my profession, most of the jobs available require a huge number of hours and tons of stress. The carrot is way outsized compensation. I have done that for years and have no interest in doing it again. I have small children and am a devoted family man and I have already neglected my wife and children in favor of my career too much. I thought I had found a rare opportunity to pursue my profession with reasonable work/life balance, livable wages and a chance to do good. Unfortunately, the immediate team situation turned toxic. My hope is that I can salvage the mess by moving to another area within the organization. If not, I will be back to either accepting a job that means I will be forced to neglect my family once again, or vainly trying to find a job in my profession with some balance and a reasonable wage. So my decision is to gut it out a while and see if I can salvage something from the mess I am in. I am not playing for small stakes here. If you have never been in this situation, good for you.

 

[Bimmerbill]

The only good thing about other slackers getting promoted is that it opens other jobs that you can apply for. It's the same in my gov't job. You have to "put in your time" before being considered for a higher level position. That, and "who you know" factors heavily into the equation.

I found gutting it out to be fairly easy in my gov't job. I get a ton of sick leave and annual leave (holidays too!). So I use it. I don't call in sick per se, but if DD needs a doc appt I'll schedule it and go. Gets me out of the office and takes care of her.

Good luck!

 

[brewer12345]

They announced the "changes" today. The two teams were formally combined, so now I report to yet another boss. Otherwise they swept everything under the carpet and told us to speak up if things were not going well, notwithstanding the fact that none of us feel comfortable doing so in the first place.

On the positive side, the team I approached about moving to suddenly has a vacancy, so at least they have open headcount without creating a new position. They will need to upgrade the position, since the departing person is more junior than me, but that is less wood to chop than a completely new position. We will see...

 

[freebird5825]

 

[FIYes]

"Like I said, many speak from a position of ignorance. ...If you have never been in this situation, good for you."

Brewer--I did go through a spell of this when I was working. There were both financial and personal reasons that the "Johnny Paycheck" option was not right for me. You have my sympathy and when you get to FIRE, it will be all the sweeter.

 

[Moemg]

On the positive side, the team I approached about moving to suddenly has a vacancy, so at least they have open headcount without creating a new position. They will need to upgrade the position, since the departing person is more junior than me, but that is less wood to chop than a completely new position. We will see...

I hope it all works out for you ! Work is tough enough without tons of obstacles !

 

[haha]

I know at my last company which I considered to be good, when it came time to make the layoff list, pretty-girl syndrome kicked in

I am kind of an outsider to big workplace issues and I don't know the jargon. Could you please explain what "pretty girl syndrome" is?

Ha

 

[freebird5825]

I am kind of an outsider to big workplace issues and I don't know the jargon. Could you please explain what "pretty girl syndrome" is?

Ha

I believe it means the shorter the skirt, the heavier the makeup, the more fluttery the eyelashes, and of course the bigger the rack , the longer a woman may be retained in a downsizing operation.
Sad but still true out there in some places...

 

[easysurfer]

I've never heard the term "pretty girl syndrome" either. The decision to retain the "pretty one", I hope is at a subconscious level?

Such as studies showing that "cuter babies get more attention", "prettier kids get better grades" and that "taller men tend to get more raises and promotions".

 

[DangerMouse]

Without a doubt I have seen pretty girl syndrome in play, don't think for a moment it's a myth. It's where they put their best assets forward, flutter their eyelashes on occasion and smile at the middle-age men who tend to be managers.

It was so obvious at my last company. There were 3 admin. The most motivated, cheapest and most skilled was the lady in her 40s. The other 2 were pretty girls in their 20s. Both HR Manager and myself as Manager of all Admin staff felt that lady in her 40s should be number 1. All the male managers had her number 3 and no prize for guessing who was the first to be laid off.

 

[freebird5825]

I've never heard the term "pretty girl syndrome" either. The decision to retain the "pretty one", I hope is at a subconscious level?

Such as studies showing that "cuter babies get more attention", "prettier kids get better grades" and that "taller men tend to get more raises and promotions".

It all depends.
For instance, I am an attractive woman, and have been called beautiful by some very special men in my life. I have an admirable build. I speak well with formal manners and always practice good grooming. Sounds ideal to represent a company or in my case, Uncle Sam, or be promoted, right?
The difference is I never USED my physical appearance as a means to gain favor or promotions in the w*rkplace. The "pretty girls" do use their appearance intentionally, and it often is very effective.
I knew of at least 4 women engineers who capitalized on their sexual aura with their male supervisors. No sex acts were involved, just ran their female sexuality at full throttle.

Not this lady.

 

[Amethyst]

I was told more than once that being tall and attractive was perceived as a "negative," since female attractiveness, in our excuse for a corporate culture, was equated with less intelligent and capable. I was even told that men wouldn't want to take orders from me because they wanted to date me!!

I actually fell for this cruel, worthless cr@p, for a while. An indication of how little I believed in my own smarts and abilities back then. This led to years of straightening my hair, wearing severe outfits and neutral colors, all of which I gladly pitched when I got enough promotions and responsibility on my record. I knew, when I got promoted to GS-15, that my looks were not part of the equation....my boss was a woman, and so was her boss!