How to find spouse who is compatible financially?

[KisKis]

There are an awful lot of Asian women in the world... Don't lump us all into the same category. Every woman in my family is a heavy saver. I don't know what sort of materialistic girls you have run into. Maybe living out in LA?

But in every marriage, there will be a spender and a saver, because it all becomes relative. One will always be thriftier than the other. I am the long range planner in our household, and I have us saving between 40-50% of our income every year, so you could say that I am pretty thrifty (brown bag every day, get my hair cut once or twice a year, etc.), but compare that to my husband who wears the same five t-shirts and shorts every day and eats only what he catches (fish), then I look like as bad as a Real Housewife.

 

[farmerEd]

Not sure the both of you need to be exactly the same, DW and I are different in terms of spending but we complement each other...she understands my cheapness, I understand and appreciate her need to not save everything for a rainy day...we both make out. She gets a secure old age and financial security, and I don't have to live in a cardboard box wearing 15 year old clothes eating only raman noodles.

 

[braumeister]

Whatever you do, watch out for something that might make it impossible for you to get hitched.

As discussed in another thread here, there are pharmacies everywhere openly advertising availability of a "Singles vaccine."





It's possible I misread those signs, but you never know ...

 

[YoungSaver]

I think if you hide any appearance of having any wealth whatsoever yourself (don't drive an expensive car, wear expensive shoes, a nice watch, designer jeans), you'll see who still likes you.

That's my strategy. I've been single for years!! It saves a lot of money.

 

[Sarah in SC]

Maybe all three in one sexy package.

Find an ex Peace Corps volunteer? They are plenty familiar with living on nothing and the Corps is highly selective. Of course you might have to look the other way re: "medical" MJ.

And also re: hairy armpits

 

[brewer12345]

And also re: hairy armpits

I assumed that went with the territory, along with possible veganism (vegan is Latin for "pain in the ass").

BWTFDIK? I was lucky enough to meet my wife in college [-]when we were both living in the same co-op housing unit that had co-ed cattle showers and served vegetarian food exclusively[/-].

 

[kumquat]

Whatever you do, watch out for something that might make it impossible for you to get hitched.

Or, if you live in the Frozen North, watch out for things that tell you you are 'hitched'. You, by the way, have no input into this. Move in together, stay that way a year and, PRESTO, you are a married couple. As far as asetts go, "one for all and all for one". Pre-nup possible but how many 'shack up' couples think of this?

I won't bother thelling you the problems with being 'decreed' married by Canada's tax regime and inheritance courts.

Enjoy

 

[Sarah in SC]

kumquat, we have that down south as well. Common-law is what we call it. And famously attempted by an actress shacked up with (I think) William Hurt during the filming of the Big Chill in Beaufort. Didn't work, but I'm pretty sure he's never been back to SC!

 

[haha]

kumquat, we have that down south as well. Common-law is what we call it. And famously attempted by an actress shacked up with (I think) William Hurt during the filming of the Big Chill in Beaufort. Didn't work, but I'm pretty sure he's never been back to SC!

Ditto Washington. Here it is not common law marriage, you wind not really married but somehow in a community property arrangement. My memory is one year and one day does it.


This little gem is the work of divorce lawyers and women’s groups. So many people staying single has hurt the divorce business. I don’t know how many cases like this have actually come to trial, but I imagine it is at least a significant bargaining chip.

Gay marriage over time should help the “family law” business. No idea if this shack up law also applies to gay couples. I guess it must or it would be obviously discriminatory.

Ha

 

[Texas Proud]

Or, if you live in the Frozen North, watch out for things that tell you you are 'hitched'. You, by the way, have no input into this. Move in together, stay that way a year and, PRESTO, you are a married couple. As far as asetts go, "one for all and all for one". Pre-nup possible but how many 'shack up' couples think of this?

I won't bother thelling you the problems with being 'decreed' married by Canada's tax regime and inheritance courts.

Enjoy

kumquat, we have that down south as well. Common-law is what we call it. And famously attempted by an actress shacked up with (I think) William Hurt during the filming of the Big Chill in Beaufort. Didn't work, but I'm pretty sure he's never been back to SC!

Ditto Washington. Here it is not common law marriage, you wind not really married but somehow in a community property arrangement. My memory is one year and one day does it.

I’ve declared a one week max visit.

This little gem is the work of divorce lawyers and women’s groups. So many people staying single has hurt the divorce business. I don’t know how many cases like this have actually some to court, but I imagine it is at least a significant bargaining chip.

Gay marriage over time should help the “family law” business. No idea if this other shack up law also applies to gay couples. I guess it must or it would be obviously discriminatory.

Ha

FWIU, here in Texas it can be one week... (but hey, I could be wrong)...

I have heard here that it is intent, not just shacking up that gets you caught.... IOW, if you tell people 'this is my spouse', that shows intent... if you comingle money, intent...

 

[easysurfer]

I want to marry a saver like me but most Asian women like to live the materialistic life. Does anybody have any ideas where I can meet women who are more likely to save, invest, and want to retire early like me? I think those saver spender marriages will be hell when it comes to saving for retirement. I think its much easier when both people are on the same page.

I think moreso, whether a saver or spender is due to a person's attitude towards money than national heritage.

Even within a particular family (all from the same heritage) often there are those who save (sometimes too much) and those who spend like money is going out of style.

 

[Jay_Gatsby]

Short answer. Bring up the subject of a prenuptial agreement after a few dates. If she refuses to sign one, then you have your answer.

Yes, I know there are folks there who aren't fans of prenuptial agreements (i.e., sends the message that the marriage is doomed from the start, you're not fully-committed, etc...). However, notice I wrote that you should bring up the subject, not that you should necessarily follow through with asking your future spouse to sign one.

 

[Major Tom]

There are an awful lot of Asian women in the world... Don't lump us all into the same category. Every woman in my family is a heavy saver. I don't know what sort of materialistic girls you have run into. Maybe living out in LA?

Talking of lumping everyone into the same category - careful what you're implying about those who live in LA please.

 

[Milton]

most Asian women like to live the materialistic life.

Wow, two negative stereotypes in the same sentence.

 

[haha]

Wow, two negative stereotypes in the same sentence.

Name them. I only see one. And I think if people were honest, most of us do not necessarily think that "a materialistic life" is negative. Unless we are schizophrenic that is, as most of us live quite materialistic lives no matter what smoke screens we like to lie down.