"I canceled my ER because I can't stand the idea of a retirement party."

An INTP lament.*

How do you stop a simple lunch with three or four co-workers from snowballing out of control?* I wonder if this makes the top ten reasons for busted early retirements.

[brewer12345]

Heavy drinking at the event followed by telling the unwanted guests what you really think of them is always a fave...

[HFWR]

Don't show up...

[SteveR]

Just enjoy the party with the knowledge that in an hour or so you will be free but they will be going back to work. That should take the edge off the larger group. You can always have a more intimate lunch with your smaller group of friends later. You can even have adult beverages as you would not be going back to work afterwards.

[Martha]

I am hoping that if I fade away into less and less time at work, they won't notice when I am finally gone.

When I was president one duty I could not stand was having to "say a few words" every year at the office Christmas party.

[MRGALT2U]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Martha I am hoping that if I fade away into less and less time at work, they won't notice when I am finally gone. When I was president one duty I could not stand was having to "say a few words" every year at the office Christmas party.*

Yeah, I used to hate that too, and the annual awards banquet, and
the quarterly corporate board meetings, etc etc. I did it for years and never got really
comfortable with it. Seems odd considering how I love to talk

JG

[Nords]

Quote:

Originally Posted by tozz An INTP lament.* How do you stop a simple lunch with three or four co-workers from snowballing out of control?* I wonder if this makes the top ten reasons for busted early retirements.

"Guys, I'm sorry but I have way too many things to do in the final week of work. Can we reschedule my lunch for a couple weeks later when the pressure's off and I can relax to enjoy your company?"

A couple weeks later most of the office staff will have moved on ("Tozz who?") and you'll be back to the simple lunch with three or four.

I did this with a farewell lunch that mutated blossomed in the way you describe. A month later we still had a dozen people but they were the fun ones. The best part was that they had a month of juicy gossip to share with me (turns out I didn't care much anymore) and they could enjoy seeing my beach-bum metamorphosis.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Martha When I was president one duty I could not stand was having to "say a few words" every year at the office Christmas party.

In the words of the immortal Dan Fielding (John Larroquette on "Night Court"): "Let the games... BEGIN!!"

And no one will ever again ask you for a few words...

[maddythebeagle]

Quote:

snowballing out of control?

I dont get it? Are you planning to go out the door "guns ablazing"? I suppose it is your choice not to have a get together.

[REWahoo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by tozz An INTP lament. How do you stop a simple lunch with three or four co-workers from snowballing out of control? I wonder if this makes the top ten reasons for busted early retirements.

The "celebrations" surrounding your retirement are simply a part of life you have to endure. I looked at it like paying taxes and growing old - - - you've just gotta do it.

So suck it up, stop whining and enjoy the fact that when the celebrations are over, you will be retired and all of "them" will still be working!

[Nords]

Quote:

Originally Posted by REWahoo! The "celebrations" surrounding your retirement are simply a part of life you have to endure.* I looked at it like paying taxes and growing old - - - you've just gotta do it. So suck it up, stop whining* and enjoy the fact that when the celebrations are over, you will be retired and all of "them" will still be working!

Totally disagree. After years of workplace sucking it up without whining (or not), this is one of the few times where it's YOUR choice. You get to make the rules. This is not a game where they get to ambush you into subservience.

I think the last few weeks of work can be just as stressful as the final days before a graduation, wedding, or an extended trip. It's even worse if you're planning to relocate or to take one of those trips. The last thing you need to add is a bunch of logistics & guest-list challenges. I've seen shouting matches & many tears over retirement ceremonies-- some of them at the podium DURING the event-- and I don't think it's worth the hassle.

Do it on your own terms, in your own time, with the people you care about.

[REWahoo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nords Totally disagree. After years of workplace sucking it up without whining (or not), this is one of the few times where it's YOUR choice. You get to make the rules. This is not a game where they get to ambush you into subservience. I think the last few weeks of work can be just as stressful as the final days before a graduation, wedding, or an extended trip. It's even worse if you're planning to relocate or to take one of those trips. The last thing you need to add is a bunch of logistics & guest-list challenges. I've seen shouting matches & many tears over retirement ceremonies-- some of them at the podium DURING the event-- and I don't think it's worth the hassle. Do it on your own terms, in your own time, with the people you care about.

Since I was going to remain in the same community after retirement I was a little uncomfortable making too many waves regarding the retirement get-togethers planned for me. The temptation was certainly there to say "no thanks", but I figured it wouldn't do me any permanent damage to go along with the lunches, dinner and good-bye speeches. And it didn't.

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Show up, but dont wear any pants.

Or show up and in a loud and nonstop manner, proclaim how happy you are to not have to go to work anymore and how great its going to be to be retired early. Everyone will leave pretty quick.

Inspired by my dear fellow anonymi here at er.org I became the David Spader "No Guy" just before lunch.* Left unchecked, these things grow quiet insidiously.* No luncheon, no collection for a gift, no plaque, no testimonials from superiors who feel obligated to bloviate eloquently about my irreplacable contributions to the mission.* No boilerplace letters from congressman and presidents extolling my years of service.* No pin, no plaque.* No nuttin'.

I've probably just cemented my reputation as a misanthrope, but, oh well.* A couple of the women who thrive on these type of events looked hurt, but I will smooth that over privately.

[Eagle43]

Call in sick!

[MJ]

I didn't have that problem. Got a call from my boss 4:55PM on a Tuesday (weird?), to come up to his office. He gave me the good news that my position was eliminated. 5 minutes later, I was out of work, so I no longer had any co-workers and no superficial party to attend.

How sad.

MJ

[Nords]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MJ I didn't have that problem. Got a call from my boss 4:55PM on a Tuesday (weird?),

Remember the old "Cheers" episode where Norm was put in charge of firing employees? Maybe it took your boss that long to work up the courage, or he wanted to do it as close to "happy" hour as possible...

[yelnad]

Ugh. This reminds me of when I left my previous job. I had been at the school for 3 years, and in the position for only one when they threw me this HUGE "surprise" party that I found out about. They invited the entire college and made a huge production and presented me with diamond earrings in front of everyone. So weird. Maybe my boss was in love with me. It's nice to know I'm appreciated, but geez.

[yakers]

My wife plans to retire in June 06 after a career in teaching. She has the opposite issue, her retirement party means a lot to her but she doesn't like the way her school usually handles this. So she may have tojust get though the school program/party and have a party of our own. Invite who you want, serve what you want, say what you want. It costs a few more bucks but so what if that is important to you.

[Nords]

Quote:

Originally Posted by yelnad Maybe my boss was in love with me. It's nice to know I'm appreciated, but geez.

Sounds like a corporate guilty conscience!

[Ginger]

My husband is retiring in just 13 working days (but who is counting and his company is having a retirement party for him on his last day. Guess it all goes with the territory - right of passage. Once he is settled into retirement and all benefits are in place, I will probably jump ship and join him. As he said to me today, "you can't buy back time."