Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-11-2016, 06:37 AM   #21
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Utrecht
Posts: 2,650
Sometimes (guilty as well!) people don't really listen, they just respond to trigger words and give you their world view based on their context and common sense. No desire to understand you is there. I think that's what happened there.

Listening to understand is quite rare. It's one reason why good consultants make a good living for doing so little actual work: They listen to understand what other people want.
Totoro is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 08-11-2016, 10:26 AM   #22
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
kcowan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Pacific latitude 20/49
Posts: 7,677
Send a message via Skype™ to kcowan
One of the things I learned early in life is that what other people think of me is none of my business! It works great.

It started with rumours that I must have a rich wife because of how I lived. I would just smile and stay quiet. If I opened my mouth, they would learn something that I choose not to share.
__________________
For the fun of it...Keith
kcowan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-11-2016, 11:48 AM   #23
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 410
Quote:
Originally Posted by FI by 2024 View Post
Two coworkers asked me where I plan to work after leaving the military. When I said I didn't plan to work after leaving the military, they went into lectures about the problems with my plan. One was going on about the need to work to keep yourself busy while the other was going on about how I can't financially retire on a military pension. Neither one asked more about my plan or would listen to me countering their arguments. Just a total shutdown of the concept of FIRE.

Ugh. Had to come here to even say anything because if I dare mention early retirement to friends or family I'm immediately inundated with 1073 reasons why I am "luckier" than they are and how there is no way any of them could ever retire early.

/rant
I heard this 22 years ago, when I retired from the Navy. In general, people just don't like someone in their 40's not working. In my case, it's even worse in a small blue collar town, than in an upscale urban area where people don't pay much attention to how people derive income. The worst was a neighbor who implied that I was held to a higher standard of lawn care, because I didn't work.

I'm 63 now, and since about age 55, most of the attitudes have waned. I'm just an old retired guy now.
__________________
ACC USN-(Ret)
BLS53 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-11-2016, 11:53 AM   #24
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,495
I think it was Facebook's Sheryl Sandberg who talked about the 20-40-60 rule, and why you shouldn't let the opinions of others hold you back from making bold plans (I'm paraphrasing, but this was the gist of it). At 20, you worry about what other people are thinking of you, at 40, you discover it doesn't matter what they think of you, and at 60 you realize they weren't thinking about you at all (they were too busy thinking of their own lives).
Options is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-13-2016, 12:43 PM   #25
Moderator Emeritus
Nords's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Oahu
Posts: 26,856
Quote:
Originally Posted by FI by 2024 View Post
Ugh. Had to come here to even say anything because if I dare mention early retirement to friends or family I'm immediately inundated with 1073 reasons why I am "luckier" than they are and how there is no way any of them could ever retire early.

/rant
I think you just separated your co-workers from your real friends.

"I'm going to take a few months off with family & friends before I start the career search..."
__________________
*

Co-author (with my daughter) of “Raising Your Money-Savvy Family For Next Generation Financial Independence.”
Author of the book written on E-R.org: "The Military Guide to Financial Independence and Retirement."

I don't spend much time here— please send a PM.
Nords is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-15-2016, 04:17 PM   #26
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 331
Quote:
Originally Posted by ExFlyBoy5 View Post
Oh...one more thing. Under no..I mean NO circumstances should you elect the Redux @ 15 years. It's a terrible, terrible plan and I have NEVER met anyone who didn't regret it. So...NO!!!
NEVER!! It's a suckers game!

Quote:
Originally Posted by W2R View Post
Sometimes it is easiest to just give up and allow people to keep believing whatever it is that they want to believe. It isn't going to make your retirement any less real.
Very true
FI by 2024 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-2016, 04:02 PM   #27
Moderator Emeritus
laurence's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: San Diego
Posts: 5,267
My MIL freaked out a little at me going part time. In her view these are the years where we save for retirement. We finally let her know a little about our net worth and that got her off our back. She isn't very financially literate, and is one of those incredibly lucky ones with an awesome pension (Probation Officer for the county sheriff) that allowed her to retire at 56 this year.

....she's hoping we hang out more.
laurence is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-2016, 04:37 PM   #28
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Huntsville, AL/Helen, GA
Posts: 6,002
The way I look it is that if you've retired from the military, you've earned the right to do whatever it is you want to do. You've downright sacrificed for your career and your country.

And for those that have earned enough and/or saved enough to retire early, more power to you. Go enjoy life.

My father prepared for many years for his early retirement. I was fortunately able to retire at one year of age younger than he--with substantially more retirement funds. I've worked hard at learning not to work so hard and long, and I had a great teacher.

And I'm proud for anyone that can do the same.
Bamaman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-19-2016, 03:37 PM   #29
Dryer sheet aficionado
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Thetford
Posts: 29
I don't get too much crap from my co-workers, and I never indicate that I plan to do just 20 years. As others have said, it can be a career killer if you say it to the wrong person. I do, however, usually get an earful from my boss when the subject of retirement comes up. My boss is at 22 years and "ready" to punch out. I'm just coming up on 13 years. He's constantly talking about getting a civilian job and writing his resume. I have no plans to do any of that, and when I mention that I have no intentions of working when I retire, he says the same things, "you'll get bored," "you'll want a job." WRONG! FIRE has been my dream since before I even knew FIRE was a thing. All I knew was that when I retire from the military, I never want to work again.

I don't let any of it bother me though. It doesn't upset me when anyone makes it clear that they doubt my plans. It just motivates me even more to prove them wrong. I'm looking forward to being part of the class of 2023!
Henman004 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-19-2016, 05:31 PM   #30
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 331
I just want to be clear because several people have brought it up:

I've never indicated to coworkers or the assignments team that I want to retire right at 20 years. I always, always say that I want to do at least 20 years. Meaning, I am happy to do more if I'm still enjoying myself. Probably no more than 25, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. If the topic comes up I do sometimes say that I want to be financially ready to retire when I hit 20 years but I always follow that with "so I can choose to stay in because I like my job, not because I have to."

I appreciate everybody's concern!
FI by 2024 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-19-2016, 10:53 PM   #31
Moderator Emeritus
Nords's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Oahu
Posts: 26,856
Quote:
Originally Posted by Henman004 View Post
I do, however, usually get an earful from my boss when the subject of retirement comes up. My boss is at 22 years and "ready" to punch out. I'm just coming up on 13 years. He's constantly talking about getting a civilian job and writing his resume. I have no plans to do any of that, and when I mention that I have no intentions of working when I retire, he says the same things, "you'll get bored," "you'll want a job." WRONG!
Feel free to give your boss (and any other skeptics) my e-mail address... NordsNords at Gmail. Or maybe they'll be more comfortable just browsing the first few months of the blog's posts.

14+ years, no boredom. If anything, life has occasionallybeen busier than I want because I have only mself to blame for overscheduling.

And if I want a job, I'll make my own.
__________________
*

Co-author (with my daughter) of “Raising Your Money-Savvy Family For Next Generation Financial Independence.”
Author of the book written on E-R.org: "The Military Guide to Financial Independence and Retirement."

I don't spend much time here— please send a PM.
Nords is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-20-2016, 06:56 AM   #32
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
target2019's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: On a hill in the Pine Barrens
Posts: 9,686
Quote:
Originally Posted by W2R View Post
Sometimes it is easiest to just give up and allow people to keep believing whatever it is that they want to believe. It isn't going to make your retirement any less real.
Had an experience similar to this, just yesterday. A co-worker has been pushing my buttons with his views of politics, gold, constitution, etc. This has been going on for about a year. Until yesterday, I tried to avoid it by changing subject, etc.

He brought up a hot-button topic (really inappropriate in an office), trying to engage me. Rather than deflect or debate, I mentioned how happy I was to work with everyone. He then asked if I was going out for lunch. LOL. We work in an idyllic setting, so I had plenty of time to point out the beautiful surroundings, talk about the reliability of direct deposit, and so on. Eventually he admitted that he was wrong, and at a previous job he was cautioned about his behavior.

You really don't have to convert or convince others. Just be secure in your own plan and try to ignore the noise.
target2019 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-20-2016, 10:47 AM   #33
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 587
I just broke up with a guy who would correct me whenever I mentioned retirement no matter how many conversations we had on the topic. I would say 'when I retire at 52' and he would say 'IF you retire....'


Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forum
tinlizzy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-20-2016, 11:09 AM   #34
Moderator Emeritus
W2R's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 47,474
Quote:
Originally Posted by tinlizzy View Post
I just broke up with a guy who would correct me whenever I mentioned retirement no matter how many conversations we had on the topic. I would say 'when I retire at 52' and he would say 'IF you retire....'
Good call! Putting up with someone like that is more aggravation than you will need WHEN you retire at 52. There are lots of fish in the sea.
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities. - - H. Melville, 1851.

Happily retired since 2009, at age 61. Best years of my life by far!
W2R is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-20-2016, 11:44 AM   #35
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 331
Quote:
Originally Posted by tinlizzy View Post
I just broke up with a guy who would correct me whenever I mentioned retirement no matter how many conversations we had on the topic. I would say 'when I retire at 52' and he would say 'IF you retire....'

He sounds like a real peach.
FI by 2024 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-20-2016, 11:53 AM   #36
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 8,968
There are lots of folks to whom "early retirement" is not possible, an "impossible dream"

For whatever reason they can't (or won't) save and invest what is required.
RobbieB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-21-2016, 07:20 AM   #37
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 125
I work with a bunch of people who all are required to retire early due to regulation. Even in that category there are some who couldn't imagine being done working in their late 40's-mid 50's. Blows my mind. I tell them I just want the means to be able to stop working by 50. If I'm still having fun I'll stay, if not then I won't! Most agree with that thinking.
__________________
Money is freedom.
ATC Guy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-21-2016, 07:22 AM   #38
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 125
Quote:
Originally Posted by target2019 View Post

You really don't have to convert or convince others. Just be secure in your own plan and try to ignore the noise.
This is spot on. Couldn't have said it better.
ATC Guy is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Just Got My Rate Increase Notice. A Bit of Rant MJ Health and Early Retirement 19 09-15-2007 10:09 AM
Bad Customer Service Rant? SteveL Other topics 11 09-03-2005 11:34 AM
Stupid Advertising (Rant) REWahoo Other topics 2 07-10-2005 10:08 AM
Whiny Personal Rant BigMoneyJim Other topics 5 09-07-2004 07:07 AM

» Quick Links

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 03:29 AM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.