Pandemic got me thinking differently. What should I do?

[Cassius King]

Hello All!
I'm having some thoughts and change of heart and I'm not sure if it's a sign of mental growth, or a sign of mental anguish.
As a result of the current lockdown I have competely begun to rethink and change my outlook on life.
Prior to lockdown I was caught up in the hustle of life, working, saving, acquiring. Now that I've been forced to slow down, remove most of the "extras" in my life, I have a different view. I'm able to catch up on a lot of the reading I've been wanting to do, enjoying movies with my wife. Dining at home and enjoying what I have, not looking for the next conquest.
Add to this a very toxic job and horrible boss and it has me thinking very minimalist.
Has the goal line been moved? Is this a natural progression of maturity with age? Is this pandemic brain sinking in?
I woke up in the middle of the night last night at 3am with my brain crunching every financial scenario where I quit my job, get off the wheel, and do something different with my life. My job has been infinitely more stressful than in years past. We started a database migration just prior to Covid and the powers at be have the mentality that you can't go anywhere, kill yourself getting it done. What else do you have to do?
I apologize for the rant, but have so many thoughts running through my head and am really reevaluating life itself and what I hope to get out of it.
Stay safe everyone, and cheers!

[Nemo2]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cassius King Has the goal line been moved? Is this a natural progression of maturity with age? Is this pandemic brain sinking in?

Naah, you're just 78 years behind my timetable.

[38Chevy454]

I think it is just your BS bucket is near the top full. Looking for an alternate path, which your focus on the financials (and being on the forum here) means you want to retire. Just need to have the confidence to make that decision.

[Kwirk]

Hopefully, going forward, we will all pay more attention to what really brings us happiness and pay less attention to what we're told will make us happy. There's some value in having our lives disrupted occasionally.

[pacergal]

Looking at life after retirement, crunching numbers, work BS bucket filling--sounds like you are ready to take the leap!

[ProspectiveBum]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cassius King Add to this a very toxic job and horrible boss and it has me thinking very minimalist.

I'd say that this would be the first thing to address. I've been lucky over the last 15 years not to have had bad bosses, but I had a few doozies before that. A bad boss can make even the best company a misery to work for. There are plenty of organizations and managers that treat their employees well. If you're not quite ready financially to take the leap to retirement, you owe it to yourself to see if you can find a better j*b while working towards FIRE.

Best of luck!

[JoeWras]

I've been lurking here about 10 years. There are 100's of instances (and posts) of people having an awakening one day (or night). It happens, especially once you get past 45 or so.

The pandemic may have given you a boost, but a toxic boss will put that boost into hyperdrive.

[JDARNELL]

Have you read Nords Fog of Work article? https://the-military-guide.com/the-fog-of-work/

Sounds like you have had a little
Time to slow down with the current situation and are experiencing this right now. It seems natural to me and I think your BS meter is pegged.

[MarieIG]

I don't think you're alone. We hear a lot about people who lost their job or work less hours.

There is not that much publicized about those who are being flogged with more and more work and toxicity, while being told you're lucky to have a job. That combined with the Pandemic, no wonder your stress levels are through the roof.

Hopefully your opportunities (including the opportunity to get out of there if that is what you wish) will improve over the next few months.

[cyber888]

Yes. If you are financially independent or near that, those thoughts will cross your mind. There's more to life than work.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cassius King Hello All! I'm having some thoughts and change of heart and I'm not sure if it's a sign of mental growth, or a sign of mental anguish. As a result of the current lockdown I have competely begun to rethink and change my outlook on life. Prior to lockdown I was caught up in the hustle of life, working, saving, acquiring. Now that I've been forced to slow down, remove most of the "extras" in my life, I have a different view. I'm able to catch up on a lot of the reading I've been wanting to do, enjoying movies with my wife. Dining at home and enjoying what I have, not looking for the next conquest. Add to this a very toxic job and horrible boss and it has me thinking very minimalist. Has the goal line been moved? Is this a natural progression of maturity with age? Is this pandemic brain sinking in? I woke up in the middle of the night last night at 3am with my brain crunching every financial scenario where I quit my job, get off the wheel, and do something different with my life. My job has been infinitely more stressful than in years past. We started a database migration just prior to Covid and the powers at be have the mentality that you can't go anywhere, kill yourself getting it done. What else do you have to do? I apologize for the rant, but have so many thoughts running through my head and am really reevaluating life itself and what I hope to get out of it. Stay safe everyone, and cheers!

[Dtail]

Maybe it is time to go.
In my last year of work, I started not feeling great about my job for the first time. This led eventually to an early retirement.

[Going camping]

OP, I can certainly relate to your post. I began to reevaluate my life after a health issue a little over a decade ago. I wasn't sure how much longer I wanted to participate in 'supposed to do' vs 'want to do.' Before discovering the FIRE movement, I began reading blogs and watching videos of simpler things. Below are a few examples:

https://vimeo.com/59749737
I had the pleasure of seeing Slomo on the Pacific Beach boardwalk a few years ago.

https://vimeo.com/94842405

I have set my date and have 310 working days, draggingly, remaining. Camping and getting away from the world has been a great help, especially this year.

Best wishes to you as you make decisions about your future.

[sengsational]

Once you have your epiphany, then it's possible to insulate yourself from the toxicity and stress. I only had to deal with the latter on my last j*b, but once I came to the conclusion that I didn't "need" the job, it became possible, through being mindful, that everything was up to me. So they give you 12 things and you have enough regular hours to do 8, you ask which are the most important 8, and do those. If they say "do them all", you say "fine, I'll work on the 8 I find the most interesting and the other 4 if I have time". The worst they can do is fire you, and you kind of want that anyway. This attitude takes courage because it's typically not exercised early in ones career. I wish I'd discovered it sooner because as soon as I was acting like I didn't need the job, I got more respect and they left me alone to get the most important stuff done. But I wasn't shy about saying stuff would not get done. I'd often use the juggling analogy...balls will be hitting the floor, if you don't want that, hire more or replace me.