Oh why not. I try to avoid bragging at all times though...
These are absolutely true stories.
I never went to college, but I had a near frat-house lifestyle in my early 20's. I rented a huge house and had 5-6 different guys living there over a three year period, about 15 guys in total. Yeah, we had one female 'roommate' for about six months who pretty much worked off her rent in non-monetary activities.
Anyhow, two of the guys, not buddies, just hangers-oners, werent too good about paying the rent on time, so I told them to take a hike. Got marginally ugly, but nothing serious. About a month later, their two now ex-girlfriends show up at the house. I'm pretty suspicious that this is some kind of setup, but what the hell. One was really attractive, the other was just dang pretty. So we're shooting the **** for a while and the prettier one says "Why dont we watch tv or something?". I noted what I was pretty sure they knew, the only tv in the house was in my bedroom. "Yeah, we know that". Sure...why not!
The really sad part is I cant remember either of their names...I think the real pretty one was named Michelle.
Then there was the Great Hospital Travesty of 1983. One of my roommates girlfriends had been sued by her ex for smashing up his car, and he lost. In the area outside the courtroom right after the court rendered its finding, he grabbed her and broke her nose. "Jack" was about 6'5 and about 290lbs, so he was a bit of a handful but me and my roommate "Joe" managed to subdue him until the court guards figured out something was amiss and came to slap some cuffs on him. A few days later "Joes" girlfriend is in the hospital getting her nose fixed, under police protection, and she's pretty wasted on whatever pain killers they're giving her, which is fine because she was a pretty heavy substance user (her dad was in permanent protective custody for ratting out some of his mob friends, nice life to grow up in). So she calls my roommate "Joe" and well, says she's bored and umm...lonely and needs some companionship. Apparently the offer was good because about an hour later we'd broken into the hospital, distracted the police "protection" and "Joe" spent the next 40 minutes or so...errr...comforting his girlfriend to help with her loneliness. Then the cops heard something going on. The classic line of the whole night, which persists to this day: we're in the elevator, one big cop and this one little guy that came up to about the bottom of our rib cages. The big one was pretty cool once they figured out what was going on and they were just going to 'see us out'. The little one was the classic 'little man syndrome' tough guy though and he was going on and on about how much trouble we might end up in. "Joe" at one point looks at him and says "You know what? I think my dick is bigger than you are". The big cop starts laughing his ass off and cant stop. Little cop shuts up.
