wab said:
Hmm, maybe we'll see the pendulum swing away from co-ed schools once we start accepting differences rather than trying to normalize everyone. I've mentioned before that my kid is in a Montessori preschool, and their tag line is "follow the child." I like that as an educational philosophy.
Well, I think that learning styles are generally separated by gender but every kid is different. The bell curve is practically a rectangle with two vague humps.
"Follow the child" works great when there's a teacher who mixes different styles to find out what suits the kids-- "sit at your desk and read", kinesthetic problem solving, computer games, groups, independent study, whatever-- and finds something that hits every kid's learning buttons at least once during the day. I agree that a same-sex school makes it easier on the teacher and maybe better for girls but I'm not sure how to separate the rest of the results from the hype. I don't think that an all-girl school makes more women scientists, for example, although I bet it really cuts down on the discipline problems.
wab said:
More difficult in general, or more difficult for a guy? I find myself trying to encourage traditional male traits in my girl. Taking things apart to see how they work. Competition. I read her books about dinosaurs, etc.
Sure, me too. If she's gonna be learning "guy things" then I want to be the go-to teacher. Besides my spouse doesn't appear to appreciate the importance of (or prefers to outsource) life skills like resonant eructation, physical intimidation, how to take a hit and keep going, soldering, unclogging toilets, identifying/killing bugs, installing WinXP software, testing the anti-lock brakes, and lighting the BBQ charcoal.
But for me, first there's that carbon-copy-of-my-mother thing. She has my exact temperament & tolerance (or lack thereof). We each know exactly how to push each other's buttons because they're all the same buttons. If my mother was still alive I can only imagine the multi-generational fireworks.
Second I'm apparently extremely gullible. I don't know how many times I've gone to Wal-Mart thinking that we were going to enter, locate an item on the list, put it in the cart, proceed to the checkout, and thence to the car & home. (You women are reading this and thinking "What is he talking about?!?" You guys are thinking "Yup, he's toast.") Now our house actually has separate vocabulary to differentiate the situations of "shopping" from "buying". Spouse drives for the former, I drive for the latter.
Third is my lack of preparation for women's vicious psychological warfare. Our kid understands physical interaction like martial arts or basketball so we speak a common language there, but when I was a teen I never laid awake nights worrying about which kid I was going to be spending time with at school or whether my teacher liked me or how to handle various relationship crises. It's so much easier & simpler with guys when you beat the snot out of each other and get over it. With girls, even grrrrls, it's apparently way too complicated for my comprehension. ("Yup, he's toast.") At least spouse has taught me the difference between problem-solving and supportive listening.
I think the things that make girls easier to raise include:
- She's extremely verbal. I don't think our kid can contain an unexpressed thought for more than a few minutes. I never have trouble with communication barriers, or at least identifying them.
- She seems pretty aware of her surroundings and very sensitive to other people. She can get locked into an activity or even become oblivious, but it doesn't persist to the point of physical danger. As a grownup remembering my teen years, I'm glad I don't have to contend with the way I was ("Hunh? What? Ouch!!").
- She tends to discuss things first instead of just going out and doing them. Three decades ago most of my teen discussions involved helpful phrases like "Now apologize to the firefighters" and "What
were you thinking?"
- Personal hygiene has neither required nor desired my presence nor my involvement. She's neater & cleaner than the opposite sex. Her bedroom doesn't smell like a toxic-waste dump and she actually organizes possessions.
- There's no competition for alpha male supremacy. We all know that my spouse rules the house and I come in a close fourth, right behind the pet bunny.
Finally, I think it's much easier for me to teach her about what's going on in a guy's head (not that it's so hard to figure out) than it would be for me to get together with other males-- of any age with any libation-- and exchange information about what's going on inside a girl's head. ("Yup, he's toast.") If I'd solved that latter mystery, would I be a parent right now?