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Rich_by_the_Bay

Rich_by_the_Bay

Moderator Emeritus
Joined
Feb 19, 2006
Messages
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Location
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So what does it mean on the board to be someone's "friend?"

Aside from it just being a friendly gesture, does it affect how you contact them, private posts, or any other board function? Does it allow any functions not otherwise available?
 
New territory for this board.

Dear Miss Manners,

What's the etiquette for a "friends request"?

If I hardly know the person, is it appropriate to accept their request? Or should I get to know them better first? Or would that impose on them an undue burden of obligation to somehow "earn" the privilege of being accepted as a friend?

If I accept the request, would it be inappropriate to change my mind as the months go by and our "friend"ship develops?

If I don't respond, is that a response? Will vBulletin ever let me "defer" or "table" or even "ignore" their request, or will that damned "Your Notifications" continue to taunt me for eternity with its number greater than zero?

If I reject the request, does that also reject the person and everything they live for? I don't want to give that impression by telling them that we can't even be "just friends".

If, while I'm considering the request, I learn that the requester has also made "friends" requests of many others, should I feel somehow cheapened by their group approach? Is monogamy expected? Is celibacy OK? Or are we all expected to politely participate in polygamy or even orgies?

Frankly this seems to be a minefield of unexpected and unintended consequences. It would appear to be so much easier to defer participation indefinitely.

Sincerely yours, but not yet your "friend",

-- Confused
 
Rich, other than enabling you to click on "Friends" on your profile page to quickly see if they are online, I'm not aware of any other board functions associated with friend status. Maybe Janet will chime in with additional information.
 
Nords if this surfing/angel investing/handyman business doesn't work out. You actually have a future writing for the onion. That was pretty damn funny.

Just wait until you get on Facebook in order to keep in touch with DD and others.
 
I have been unable to find any benefit other than making it so that your profile does not say

"Rich in Tampa does not have any friends."
 
clifp said:
Nords if this surfing/angel investing/handyman business doesn't work out. You actually have a future writing for the onion. That was pretty damn funny.
Click to expand...
Thanks. I confess that I ripped that off from Nelson DeMille's "The Gate House", whose main character I find simultaneously funny and pathetic.

clifp said:
Just wait until you get on Facebook in order to keep in touch with DD and others.
Click to expand...
As if life isn't already busy enough and I don't spend a sufficient portion of my day on the Web...
 
I want to be his friend, but I think I messed things us between us.
 
Seems like the whole thing is a little simplistic and one-dimensional. Why only a "will you be my friend" list? How about a "will you join my antagonists" list? "Will you please mock me in front of the crowd" list?

Anyway, friends are way overrated. I say every "friend" is just another person who will eventually ask for a favor. Forget it! Better to be feared! (I could use the Khan picture here).
 
samclem said:
Seems like the whole thing is a little simplistic and one-dimensional. Why only a "will you be my friend" list? How about a "will you join my antagonists" list? "Will you please mock me in front of the crowd" list?

Anyway, friends are way overrated. I say every "friend" is just another person who will eventually ask for a favor. Forget it! Better to be feared! (I could use the Khan picture here).
Click to expand...

"A friend in need, is a pest."
 
Well, I got a request to be my friend from someone here I'd never heard of. So I figure what the heck, I can OK that request, as long as it doesn't somehow mess things up board-wise.

Then I go to my Control Panel only to find that I have a bunch of friends in high places that I never knew about. Then I worried that maybe I was supposed to contact those people to assure them that I loved them and wanted to be their friend, too.

So then I ask myself, what's the deal? How are they somehow special? Am I supposed to have them over for a beer? Is this a come-on of some sort? Should I feel guilty about not reciprocating these by-now-stale friends?

Then I posted this thread and now I know: no one knows what a friend is, being one has no affect on anything, and yet people use this "feature" pretty regularly.

Life is mysterious.
 
I'm just getting into the whole facebooking thing, but one cool thing I've found is that declining a friend request doesn't give any announcement to the requestor, so they don't notice you declined unless they check back. Another thing to know is you can unfriend someone at any time and that is also silent.

So I sometimes practice the middle way: friend everyone who I know that requests it, but then a few weeks later silently unfriend the folks I don't want to be connected to. Kind of like "Oh yeah we should totally do lunch sometime but I can't schedule a time right now".
 
I'm sitting here all full of love and you guys are being kind of pesky to one another.

Y'all need some cuddles.:)

Ha
 
1. When you are sad -- I will help get you drunk and plot revenge
against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how
much worse it could be and tell you to quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well
again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
This is my oath...I pledge it till the end. Why? you may ask?

Because you are my friend!

Pygmy.jpg
 
I found my Friends and Contacts list here
http://www.early-retirement.org/forums/profile.php?do=buddylist

I use Friends to tag people who seem to be willing to put up with my twisted sense of humor. Sign right up, folks. :whistle:
I use Contacts to remember the forum regulars' screen names vs the once-in-a-while visitors.
 
What if we "accidentally" switched the Friends and the Ignore lists? Uh-oh! Mayhem on the E-R.org forums!
 
Accepting friends requests is entirely up to you. There is an option in your user cp to remove friends. I have no idea what, if any etiquette is associated with "friends"

I assume removal would be for the usual reasons... committing some aggregious party foul, gossiping about you in the check-out line, hitting on your significant other, etc.

If you're really bothered by this burning issue and want to read up on it... here are some references:

Email Etiquette, Online Etiquette 101, Netiquette Quiz, E-mail Etiquette Articles, Books and Services
MediaShift . How do you decide on friend requests? | PBS
BBC NEWS | Technology | Are my online friends for real?
http://www.early-retirement.org/forums/faq.php?faq=vb3_user_profile#faq_vb3_friends_contacts
 
haha said:
I'm sitting here all full of love and you guys are being kind of pesky to one another.

Y'all need some cuddles.:)

Ha
Click to expand...

Love or whiskey? I feel better when I surf the forum slightly toasted.
 
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