I Like the Absence of Likes

[Boose]

I thank people for their contributions in this forum, but I'm always on my phone (Android), which doesn't support my typing additional comments. So you all will have to just appreciate the "unqualified thanks."

[JoeWras]

Wow, I always forget about "Thanks". On the computer I can see them on the User CP, but rarely go there. Even then, they are way at the bottom.

Turns out people were recently using it to ask me questions. Yikes!

[REWahoo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by JoeWras Wow, I always forget about "Thanks". On the computer I can see them on the User CP, but rarely go there. Even then, they are way at the bottom. Turns out people were recently using it to ask me questions. Yikes!

To get notified when someone sends you a Thanks, go to User CP > Edit Options, then scroll down to "Messaging & Notification" and check "Receive a PM notification when a post of yours is thanked".

[JoeWras]

Quote:

Originally Posted by REWahoo To get notified when someone sends you a Thanks, go to User CP > Edit Options, then scroll down to "Messaging & Notification" and check "Receive a PM notification when a post of yours is thanked".

THANKS!

I missed that box. I don't expect to get much noise from this since my thanks rate is maybe 2 per 100 posts.

[Amethyst]

I'm happy with how the forum handles thank-you's and such. At the same time, I have found "likes" and responses useful in comments sections, because they help me assess how people react to my "take" on something.

If nobody "likes" it, that means, well, nobody liked it (and if there is a reply with no "like," I know it's gonna be critical. And sometimes, that critical person's POV has some merit).

I've also been surprised when a comment generates 70 "likes." Most popular, it seems, are little personal stories.

[Amethyst]

Mine too; then again I post so much that it feels as if I get "thanked" a good bit :-)

Quote:

Originally Posted by JoeWras THANKS! my thanks rate is maybe 2 per 100 posts.

[ckelly78z]

I have been on FB for 10 years, and have never hit the "like" button on anything. I could also care less how many "likes, and shares" any of my posts glean, I have really never noticed.

It is entertaining to look at other people's photos online in social media. I can't believe how many duck face selfies that people post, obviously the same day, with different expressions....

[CaptTom]

I agree that an economy of "likes" such as found on Facebook is a bit over the top.

However I use "likes" on other forums (fora?) like this and find it helpful.

It molds good behavior. That dopamine hit from a stranger "liking" what you wrote tends to foster better writing and a friendlier tone.

It cuts WAY down on the volume of pointless "me too" posts.

I, for one, am far more likely to offer an unobtrusive "like" than to waste everyone's time by posting a simple agreement with no new content. And although I do use the "Thanks" button when appropriate, that's also more intrusive for both the sender and recipient, and so needs to be used sparingly.

[Amethyst]

Thank heaven my FB friends don't do that. Most are old enough that they know how ugly the duck face looks.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ckelly78z It is entertaining to look at other people's photos online in social media. I can't believe how many duck face selfies that people post, obviously the same day, with different expressions....

[ER Eddie]

I disagree that likes/reactions foster pro-social behavior. That is what they hoped it would do, but it doesn't. It actually ends up fostering division, argument, conformity, and other negative features.

Keep it out, please. Its absence is part of why this forum is better than most.

[garyt]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheHobbit I hate to break this to you, but what do you think happens when somebody gets a lot of replies to a thread? Ya, that’s right.... dopamine hit. Likes are just a light touch way of saying “I like what your wrote.” , a “thumbs up”. Each to their own, but there is nothing insidious going on there.

I "like" this.

[ER Eddie]

[athena53]

I'm on FB a lot but I'm pretty suspicious about Liking and Sharing. If I have something relevant to say about a post, I reply. I get SO tired people posting their scores on quizzes "only 95% of the population can pass" (they did, of course), or challenging me with "I bet nobody will share this picture of a sick kid, WWII veteran, hurt puppy" or "please share if you care about suicide, cancer, puppy mills..." I mean, who doesn't?

Here's one article about the motivation for some of these. It's from the BBB but I;ve read similar articles from other sources over the years.

https://www.bbb.org/article/news-rel...l-going-strong

[JoeWras]

Quote:

Originally Posted by athena53 I get SO tired people posting their scores on quizzes "only 95% of the population can pass" (they did, of course), or challenging me with "I bet nobody will share this picture of a sick kid, WWII veteran, hurt puppy" or "please share if you care about suicide, cancer, puppy mills..." I mean, who doesn't?

This, along with some other issues, got me to reduce my FB activity significantly. I dumped 75% of my "friends," and only log on once per week to check on relatives. I have a strict rule: mention politics, and you are unfriended. I don't care if you are the pope. My feed is much nicer, but now still full of these "chain letters" and quizes. I'm about to start unfriending anyone with a chain letter. "Please copy and post..."

Yes, unfriend. Not unfollow.

[athena53]

Quote:

Originally Posted by JoeWras Yes, unfriend. Not unfollow.

I've un-friended a handful and un-followed some others. They were on both sides of issues and I agreed with both of them on some issues, but what they had in common was that they couldn't have polite discussions or acknowledge in any way the possible validity of any idea that might weaken their stance.

Another favorite: "It works! FaceBook shows only a small potion of your friends' posts but if you copy and paste this..." (So how can you post about the success of this process BEFORE you copy, paste and re-post it?)

I really do need to access FB less but I'm headed out for a 3-week trip to South America today (yeah, call me crazy) and I find that I enjoy the interaction with friends when I'm traveling even though I know it's bad to broadcast that your house is empty.

[Amethyst]

These things are why I have a very small FB friends circle. All are relatives, friends from (former) work, or hobby friends. I won't tolerate guilt trips, begging, or excessive seriousness. FB is an amusement, not a %$!*ing lifestyle.

Quote:

Originally Posted by athena53 I'm on FB a lot but I'm pretty suspicious about Liking and Sharing. If I have something relevant to say about a post, I reply. I get SO tired people posting their scores on quizzes "only 95% of the population can pass" (they did, of course), or challenging me with "I bet nobody will share this picture of a sick kid, WWII veteran, hurt puppy" or "please share if you care about suicide, cancer, puppy mills..." I mean, who doesn't?

[Nemo2]

"What is the sound of one thank liking?"

[EvrClrx311]

There have been plenty of studies recently on the impacts of social media and mental health. Seems to be a direct correlation between our (un)happiness and time spent actively engaged in this game of "likes"... as the OP brought up, this has to do with the dopamine hijacking that takes place when we start to reply on "likes" as validation for the content of our posting. Then it seems many compare their own posting to others...

the phrase "comparison is the theft of joy" comes to mind...

[ER Eddie]

One thing that I found interesting was learning about that little delay you get in Facebook, before your notifications pop up. They programmed that in, because they found that there was more of an excitement/dopamine spike when people had to wait a few seconds before getting notified of their likes and mentions. It's similar to the excitement a gambler feels when he pulls the slot machine handle, then waits to see what he gets. The anticipation builds excitement/pleasure/dopamine. Keeps you coming back for more.

[scaubie]

Why join an online group like this if you can’t handle the opinion of others...? Solution...Keep your opinions to yourself and protect your sensitive feelings from getting hurt. Geez.