Advice for childless couple?

[Beachgrl]

Interesting topic. We are also child-FREE, and this does cross my mind, although working in healthcare myself, I've seen many cases where family/children are out of the picture. I don't judge, you never know what caused family strife.

I'm surprised this wasn't mentioned yet although I may have missed it. There is something call Geriatric Case Management, privately paid for, whereby you hire a nurse or social worker to basically manage you and advocate for you. Aginglifecare.org is a good start.

From what I know the nurse is basically on call 24/7, if anything happens to you, fall, hospital etc, they go with you. They get paid for all phone calls they make on your behalf. I've worked with several in the past and they are really great to work with, especially in cases where there's no family involvement, or family is long distance.

I had a medical doctor as a patient and his daughter was also a doctor but lived overseas. The GCM was the go between.

 

[haha]

Many very high quality people posting on this topic. The world is lucky to have you all.

Ha

 

[Likes_to_Lurk]

I'm surprised this wasn't mentioned yet although I may have missed it. There is something call Geriatric Case Management, privately paid for, whereby you hire a nurse or social worker to basically manage you and advocate for you. Aginglifecare.org is a good start.

Thanks for this idea. This would reduce the burden on friends/ family. I will definitely consider this as part of my plan.


I suppose you could also hire a social worker who specializes in senior care.

 

[Gazingus]

Great information. Not only are we childfree, we live in a barn miles from town and no neighbors in sight (to see the buzzards circling, I guess). The plan is to sell out when we can't manage out there any longer. I hope we find a good advocate when needed. God Bless all the big hearts that take care of the elderly.

Alan

 

[simple girl]

I'm surprised this wasn't mentioned yet although I may have missed it. There is something call Geriatric Case Management, privately paid for, whereby you hire a nurse or social worker to basically manage you and advocate for you. Aginglifecare.org is a good start.

From what I know the nurse is basically on call 24/7, if anything happens to you, fall, hospital etc, they go with you. They get paid for all phone calls they make on your behalf. I've worked with several in the past and they are really great to work with, especially in cases where there's no family involvement, or family is long distance.

I had a medical doctor as a patient and his daughter was also a doctor but lived overseas. The GCM was the go between.

This is something I plan to set up for us as we age. Seems like such a great solution to reduce the burden on friends/distant relatives (for those of us without children, especially).

 

[eytonxav]

I know many here do not like AARP, but they had an article in this month news paper that addressed the OPs concerns. I'll have to see if there is a link somewhere to that article.

 

[eytonxav]

Here is the link to the AARP article I mentioned above, perhaps no great revelations, but still not a bad list to consider:
Choose Trusted Financial Advisers to Help - AARP

 

[Scuba]

Great suggestions in the AARP article as well as the GCM idea - thank you!


Sent from my iPhone using Early Retirement Forum

 

[Helena]

We are still in our 50's so this is not an immediate concern, but I do wonder what we will do if/when we get to the point where we can no longer look after ourselves and/or our finances. Having a strong advocate for healthcare seems to make a huge difference. And once dementia sets in, it will be difficult to handle things like paying bills on our own.

We have no kids and no other relatives within 2,000 miles. Is anyone else worried about this situation? What are others in similar situations planning?


Sent from my iPhone using Early Retirement Forum

My only child died recently at age 38. I was a single mom since he was one year old, so I am used to being totally independent.

Like many of my elderly relatives, I plan to remain independent until I die. God willing, it will happen that way.

In the meantime, life is too short for me to worry about it.

Btw... most of my routine household bills are on autopay.

.

 

[Milton]

Having kids or close relatives is no guarantee there will be anyone who can or will help out if/when that time comes, so I think this is a concern for everyone.

100% correct.

WE have kids that care about us but I would never live with any of them. However, I do expect them to do what we all did for our parents and that was help out as needed, manage finances if needed, visit for a few weeks after surgery to help out, etc.

Perhaps they will, perhaps they won't: only time will tell. See above!

FWIW, few filial responsibility statutes require adult children to provide personal care of this sort, and in any case are infrequently enforced.

Hmmmm - I'm also seeing a pattern here, of a lot of ERers who have no children, and possible can ER because of it.

From a purely financial point of view, having children is a really, really bad decision, and will almost certainly delay FI.

 

[Milton]

I agreed to be alternate POA and Executor for my childless biological aunt and her husband many years ago. Another uncle was the primary POA and Executor. Well this uncle developed a brain tumor and died quickly, then my aunt developed lung cancer and died, leaving me as primary POA/Executor for her husband who is not my biological relative. My mistake, I should've resigned before it got to this, but now he is incapacitated, can't walk or talk, 91 years old. He was living in a CCRC and has been moved to the LTC section. I live 5 hours away, and it has been a lot of work taking care of his health and financial needs. I know this sounds heartless, but I just went through this with my own dad and I am really resenting having to do this with an uncle I was never even close to. This uncle didn't make it easy for me either....I have had to search for everything I need to conduct his business, ie, title to his automobile, safety deposit box key, tax returns, etc. I would never agree to do this again. Now I have to get rid of all the contents of his 2 bedroom apartment. The nursing home calls me daily asking me to make health care decisions. He does have biological nieces/nephews and I am seriously considering revoking my POA and having one of them appointed. Think hard about who you want to be your POA and it works best if you live close by.

Sounds like a huge responsibility, inconvenience and burden. I for one don't consider you to be heartless for having second thoughts about carrying on with this.

 

[Teacher Terry]

Milton, I probably should have phrased that differently but I hope that they would want to help like all 3 of us did for my parents. That help we provided allowed my Mom to be independent 1 week before dying and for my Mom to keep my Dad at home. Whatever happens happens. I am not going to worry about it in advance.

 

[Brat]

Based on the mess, literally, we are dealing with in my building it is important to designate a care manager and a person who can pay the bills. A care manager can help you make decisions about your living situation. If living at home isn't safe they can help you find the best situation. Auto pay doesn't cut it when you may be paying a variety of bills.