FIRE bad for your mental health?

[Carnage]

So I'm over 40 and like everyone, the last year and a half have been a lot. Kids at home 24/7 and job stress. As an escape, like a lot of people here, I've been doing tons of reading about FIRE and how people that have left their jobs and retired or semi-retired. My problem is that I know I have about 2 to 4 years left of full-time work and I'm really suffering from burnout right now. I just started a new position and I'm dreading going into the office in September and every day I feel like I've been obsessed with trying to FIRE now even though the numbers don't work yet.

I'm trying not to be ungrateful. My new j** is actually not that bad and my last company was way worse. I just am struggling right now to get into a good mental state to work for these next couple of years.

 

[Which Roger]

You're not alone. My strategy the last few years was to try to get into roles that weren't too visible and that avoided a lot of the BS, stress, and extra hours. Remember that if you are only going to be around a couple more years, you don't have to follow the same path as those who are working to be promoted, etc.

I didn't go the extra mile late in my career like I did earlier, but I made sure I got the job done and done right. That was enough to keep the boss off my back.

 

[Carnage]

You're not alone. My strategy the last few years was to try to get into roles that weren't too visible and that avoided a lot of the BS, stress, and extra hours. Remember that if you are only going to be around a couple more years, you don't have to follow the same path as those who are working to be promoted, etc.

I didn't go the extra mile late in my career like I did earlier, but I made sure I got the job done and done right. That was enough to keep the boss off my back.

This is where I've been the last few years. It definitely does take a lot of the mental stress off.

 

[Letj]

So I'm over 40 and like everyone, the last year and a half have been a lot. Kids at home 24/7 and job stress. As an escape, like a lot of people here, I've been doing tons of reading about FIRE and how people that have left their jobs and retired or semi-retired. My problem is that I know I have about 2 to 4 years left of full-time work and I'm really suffering from burnout right now. I just started a new position and I'm dreading going into the office in September and every day I feel like I've been obsessed with trying to FIRE now even though the numbers don't work yet.



I'm trying not to be ungrateful. My new j** is actually not that bad and my last company was way worse. I just am struggling right now to get into a good mental state to work for these next couple of years.

Actually you just described me around that same age. It might be a turning 40 thing with under age children. I hated working and running a side business while having responsibility for a household. I was obsessed with FIRE and constantly looked at every scenario that would get me out of working. The good thing is this too shall pass. 4 years is not a long time and it will be here before you know it. Hang in there.

 

[RunningBum]

So it's not FIRE, but thinking about it that may be bad for your health? Misleading thread title. Anyway, I felt it was worse in the early years when I didn't have any hope for retiring early on the horizon.

 

[bloom2708]

Wanting to FIRE now and knowing you can't FIRE now can be one additional stressor in a long list of things.

If you have the FI but your spouse doesn't like the RE part or you just want to spend more than your FI allows, that can also be stress inducing.

Covid and related has not helped. To me, working from home is too close to being retired. It feels more like being retired except for the endless work part.

I'm hoping that a return to the office will re-spark things and dull the FIRE feelings. (age 50 here)

 

[1242Vintage]

When I was in my early 50s I was in the same situation.

I negotiated a couple months off work in the Summer, called it my “practice retirement”.

Worked out pretty good. Enjoyed endless summer days with wife and last kid at home. Cleared my head of all the usual stress inducing work crap that I was dealing with and just enjoyed the moments.

Went back to work that Fall a much happier and healthier guy. That break gave me the renewed energy and focus to finish up the last few years of my career.

 

[ER Eddie]

You might consider dialing back to part-time, if you can do that without suffering too much of a setback. It would extend the time to FIRE, but you'll enjoy the intervening years more.

 

[Carnage]

Wanting to FIRE now and knowing you can't FIRE now can be one additional stressor in a long list of things.

If you have the FI but your spouse doesn't like the RE part or you just want to spend more than your FI allows, that can also be stress inducing.

Covid and related has not helped. To me, working from home is too close to being retired. It feels more like being retired except for the endless work part.

I'm hoping that a return to the office will re-spark things and dull the FIRE feelings. (age 50 here)

I never thought I'd be looking forward to going back into the office, but I do think the change of scenery will be good for me. I am feeling a lack of engagement at work and I do feel like I need just a little more time to get us to at least Coast FI.

 

[Which Roger]

Another thing that helped me a lot in my last few years sitting in an office: For whatever parts of your identity, self-worth, social life, and creativity are tied to the job, transition to obtaining these outside of work. Then when you FIRE, the transition will be seamless, and you won't be leaving anything behind at the office.

 

[Cobra9777]

I was in the same place in my 40s... minus the pandemic. The pandemic has taken a toll on me, for sure. I can't imagine adding the stress of working and raising kids to all that. I admire all the people like OP who are grinding through this.

I don't have any great answers. I downsized my job last 3-4 years, which helped a lot. Less direct-reports and less responsibility. It also helped that it was in an Asian country, far away from HQ and all the political BS. I think I updated my "Can I Retire" spreadsheet almost daily during that time. I think that helped as well, just to see how close I was getting.

In retrospect, had I known the market would grow as it has since 2013, I clearly would have retired in my 40s. But obviously, the opposite could have happened as well. And that's where my reptile brain was at the time. I also never counted SS in my decision, which was overly conservative.

 

[FLSUnFIRE]

Planning for FIRE got me through two decades of a very toxic boss (just today came across my alibi/evidence log I kept just in case) and other poor management. Even early in my career, it gave me a sense of control and was reminder that I was ultimately there by choice. The last few years before I pulled the plug at 47 I became more burned out... at least attitude-wise and I think it was part of the psychological realization that I was FI and my tolerance for BS and drive to move forward in my career dropped precipitously. Then it was just getting the nerve to pull the trigger.