Kick in the teeth

[COZICAN]

My DW who will be 57 on Friday was diagnosed with stage 3A lung cancer last month. Wow. We've always included in our talks that one day she would get lung cancer and or I would have a heart attack or stroke; but not at 58/57. Doctors are optimistic though it's inoperable at this point. It's really big and at the very upper part of her right lung. Radiation and chemo to start later this week. I can't even think about the plans we've made without tearing up. I'm not sure why I'm even telling a bunch of strangers this other than you've all been here for other needs and questions. I just feel so fricking helpless. I just want her well.

Coz

[Sunset]

How terrible.

Was there something that suggested this was a possibility and that's why you talked about it ?
"We've always included in our talks that one day she would get lung cancer and or I would have a heart attack or stroke"

[REWahoo]

Shocking news and your feelings are understandable. Wishing your DW and you all the best. Lots of progress in treating lung cancer in the past few years. Be strong.

[cathy63]

I am so sorry to hear this. Do you have close friends or family nearby to lean on? It's a tough position for both of you to be in, and I wish you both strength and luck going forward.

[COZICAN]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sunset How terrible. Was there something that suggested this was a possibility and that's why you talked about it ? "We've always included in our talks that one day she would get lung cancer and or I would have a heart attack or stroke"

She's smoked for 40 years. I have too much stress. Odds were against us one way or the other.

[Dtail]

Coz,
My heart goes out to you. You come here on this site, because we are your internet family and will always provide love, support and suggestions to you.
Hang in there and I wish your DW to get better, so you both can live a beautiful retirement.

[Moemg]

So sorry to hear this .

[Jerry1]

I’m so sorry you’re on this boat. It sucks. DW got breast cancer while we were remodeling our retirement house. We moved in a week before she had her surgery (total removal). So I get it and even though knowing others have been in the same boat, it doesn’t make it much better. Take comfort in knowing that many are praying for you and that treatment and outcomes are much better than they’ve ever been. One bit of advice is that when people offer to help you, accept it. It is good for them to give and it will help you in ways you probably don’t understand yet. Our collective thoughts are with you.

[Nemo2]

Bummer. My late wife, who didn't make her 53rd birthday, died from small cell lung carcinoma, which I believe, but don't know for sure, is more difficult to combat than your wife's - DW was unable to undergo radiation since the cancers were small and widespread and could not be focused on individually.

I don't what to say to you, because quite frankly none of it is good - just keep fighting, don't give up.

A buddy of mine, (who lost his wife ~ 4 years before mine), passed on to me, (and it was always in the back of my mind from then on), what someone had said to him at the time: "Always remember - it's not about you".

I wish you all the best - good luck!

[bloom2708]

Sorry to hear about the diagnosis.

A good reminder to anyone approaching 50.

It is NEVER to late to start eating better, stop smoking, stop drinking (so much) and exercise more.

Four words: Whole food, plant based

[CowgirlUp]

Go to a facility with the best treatment possible. I have a 59-year old sister with brain tumors for the past 4 years....she goes to Mayo in Rochester. They are awesome! Prayers for your wife and you.

[Nemo2]

Oh...another thing my friend shared - just about from the onset he started sucking back wine in the evenings - until he realized that that wasn't doing either of them any good.

Stay strong.

[SunBlueSky]

My heart goes out to you and your dear wife. I am praying for you both.

[COZICAN]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nemo2 Bummer. My late wife, who didn't make her 53rd birthday, died from small cell lung carcinoma, which I believe, but don't know for sure, is more difficult to combat than your wife's - DW was unable to undergo radiation since the cancers were small and widespread and could not be focused on individually. I don't what to say to you, because quite frankly none of it is good - just keep fighting, don't give up. A buddy of mine, (who lost his wife ~ 4 years before mine), passed on to me, (and it was always in the back of my mind from then on), what someone had said to him at the time: "Always remember - it's not about you". I wish you all the best - good luck!

Hers is adenocarcinoma non-small cell but is in a very bad spot. She is my world and she knows it.

[Nemo2]

Quote:

Originally Posted by COZICAN Hers is adenocarcinoma non-small cell but is in a very bad spot. She is my world and she knows it.

I can't begin to express how bad I feel for you - I have other friends/acquaintances who have been through similar situations, it's hell.

My oldest/closest friend, who lost his wife (who I'd also known for at least 45 years) said to me post facto that I was the only one who had "Told it to him like it was" - I didn't want to, it would have been easier to resort to platitudes, but I owed him more, much more, than that.

Again, good luck - stay strong.

[kimcdougc]

Praying for you and your wife. Keep strong and be positive, as that is 1/2 the battle.

[O2Bfree]

So sorry you're facing that. Hoping you can find strength in the people around you and also maybe there are some good support groups you can turn to, in addition to the wonderful folks here.

[samclem]

Cozican,
What shocking news. Kicked in the teeth, indeed.

Best wishes as you both face this challenging road.

[gauss]

Tragic. My heart goes out to the two of you. Hoping there is treatment to mitigate this.

-gauss

[RobbieB]

So sorry to hear. Make the best of the time you have.