Last Wishes I

[bmcgonig]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ncbill A great example of why a DNR, by itself, is not very useful. With a health care POA, the health care agent has the legal authority to act per the terms of the POA once the patient cannot make their own decisions. Again, hopefully the POA has been written as broadly as possible to allow the agent to refuse life-sustaining care, even if the hospital/doctor wants to continue aggressive treatment. Of course, the agent has to be able to stand up against a system that simply wants to continue treatment, as I'm sure many of us have experienced. I've had loved ones with a DNR transported to hospital, even though that shouldn't have happened. Though, with their health care POA already on file, the hospital called me for instructions & I told them just to keep them comfortable, which the hospital did until they died a few hours later.

I guess I'm wondering who calls the ambulance that transports them to the hospital? And why did they call?

[jIMOh]

We are not living longer
we are dying slower

I have heard more than one insurance salesman use that line and I repeat it often in conversation, most people tend to agree.

[Teacher Terry]

Bmc, maybe a family member panics and calls.

[Breedlove]

Don't we die a little every day

[ivinsfan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Breedlove Don't we die a little every day

somedays more then others.....

[Nemo2]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Breedlove Don't we die a little every day

Some days are more meteoric than others.

[GravitySucks]

Sorry to hear of your loss Scrapr.
A couple of notes:
I was DWs health proxy and she had a DNR. When the hospital called at 3 am asking permission to do a procedure they make it sound like no big deal. I didn't say no and I don't think she ever forgave me for not just letting her die then. It matters greatly on who you pick as your proxy.
DM was in a car accident last year and filled a DNR out in the ER. She was then transfered to a trauma center at another hospital. That hospital did not recognise the DNR from hospital 1 and said she wasn't capable of filling one out at that time.

[ncbill]

Quote:

Originally Posted by bmcgonig I guess I'm wondering who calls the ambulance that transports them to the hospital? And why did they call?

Middle of the night, the resident seizing (not on Hospice, they developed an infection that turned septic)

Here in institutions they don't allow posting DNR above the bed anymore...since it's part of their medical file apparently that's considered a HIPAA violation (crazy, huh?)

Night staff at most places (assisted living or nursing homes) are minimally-trained CNAs, not surprising they'd panic and call an ambulance for a resident exhibiting the above behavior, can't exactly blame them.

Again, another reason you want to have a health care POA, not just a DNR order.

[gwraigty]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Teacher Terry If you are on hospice they display your DNR on various walls in your house and also carry it with you at all times. No one from hospice will call a ambulance.

A neighbor of mine wound up in an unfortunate situation when her husband died at home while on hospice. She panicked, ran out into the street, a neighbor called 911, EMTs kept trying to bring him back despite being told by the neighbor who called 911 that he had a DNR. For reasons I don't understand, there was no DNR paperwork in the house. Someone called hospice and a nurse came with the DNR. Until the EMTs were presented with the paperwork, they wouldn't stop working on him, despite the futility of it all. The whole thing caused my neighbor more stress than necessary.

[ncbill]

Last death of a relative (earlier this year) went much better.

I had moved them from a nursing home to an assisted living facility near me.

Had to switch Hospice providers but that went fine.

One night around midnight the assisted living facility called to tell me they had died, would I come over?

I told them to call the funeral home (literally a few blocks down the road) & called Hospice to make sure they were notified, then I went back to sleep.

Went by the facility in the morning to retrieve their personal effects, then by the funeral home that afternoon to meet with their out-of-town kid who did the required identification.

[Teacher Terry]

G, that’s terrible. Both my mom and friends were so paranoid they had it displayed in 5 places and hospice required it to be taped to the living room wall.

[gwraigty]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Teacher Terry G, that’s terrible. Both my mom and friends were so paranoid they had it displayed in 5 places and hospice required it to be taped to the living room wall.

Yes, and what you say makes perfect sense.

Maybe rules have changed. Maybe some things depend on local policies. When my grandfather died in his home after going to sleep in '98, he hadn't been under a doctor's care. My grandmother called 911. I was told that the EMTs took one look at him, shook their heads, and didn't attempt to work on him. I think he would have wanted it that way.

My mother died at home in '91, after a long battle with cancer. She wasn't under any sort of hospice care. When we found her gone, her body was already growing cold. She'd suffered for so long and was in terrible shape. It would have been a travesty and ridiculous to call 911. We just called the funeral home. The prior year, my mother had been in the hospital for several weeks and a nurse told us that she had a DNR, which they actually expected to implement.

My husband and I have living wills and POAs for each other. We're fine, that we know of, but you never know. He has said that, if necessary someday, I should produce his living will first, so I don't feel I'm having to make the difficult decisions, and rely on the POA second. He would do the same for me.

[Scuba]

Scrapr, I’m very sorry for your loss.

[EarlyBirdly]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Red Badger No, you got that wrong, amigo.... My soul belongs to God. He has no use for this carcass I'm carrying around.

" My life belongs to me, including the end of it."


Notice that the statement was quoted and was not mine. I was trying to illustrate my disagreement with same.

One's Life is given to them. The end of it will be determined by those who bestowed it. We only have control over our decisions. The results of those decisions are determined...elsewhere.

When that "Eagle" comes swooping down for you ( that's a collective "you" )... I would suggest welcoming it with a smile and open arms.

That's what I did and the results have been more than favorable.

[Gumby]

My life may or may not belong to God, but it damn sure does not belong to any other human being. Those who would seek to control my decisions as to the ending of my life are kindly invited to attend to their own affairs.

[Born2BRetd]

My father was in hospice care at home dying from cancer that had metastasized to his brain. We had called the fire department to move him from the upstairs to a hospital bed downstairs. (The fire departments will do this in their down time.) A young fireman noticed some blood stains on the carpet and when we informed him it was from a fall the day prior he wanted to rush my father to the ER. We had to forcefully comment that he was in hospice and there was no need for emergency care.

[slowsaver]

I guess I'll be adding my unpopular opinion ...

My dad told me he filed a DNR during our last telephone call, and said he wanted to go "quickly." I was a bit upset with him and said it would be "nice for him, but not us!" He told me not to worry because he wasn't sick and all his check-ups were looking good. He was only 72. His dad lived to 87 and mom till 92.

He died from cardiac arrest, while in the emergency room, exactly 1 month later. I had not seen or talked to him since that last call.

For 6 weeks, I was a wreck because I imagined doctors stood around and watched him flat-line. They could have saved him, but they just watched him die instead ... because of that stupid DNR!

Then I finally got the courage to ask Kaiser for a copy of his last 2 years of his medical record, and the records from the emergency. Since I'm his daughter, they sent them to me.

What I learned is that, yes, they did ignore his DNR. For over 1 hour, they gave him CPR, they defib'd him at least twice, they intubated him, they gave him IV fluids to get his blood pressure back up, painkillers, other heart meds. He still died 2 and a half hours after he arrived at the emergency room.

Ever since I learned they ignored the DNR did *everything* they could to save him, I've felt more at peace.

[Teacher Terry]

Most people don’t get a DNR unless they have a terminal illness.

[Nemo2]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Teacher Terry Most people don’t get a DNR unless they have a terminal illness.

Just before they admitted me into hospital in April with sepsis, they asked DW about DNR.

[MissMolly]

My husband is adamant about having a DNR - and there is nothing wrong with him, at least not that I know of since he never goes to the doctor. He has posted on the wall. You would think he is going to drop dead tomorrow. Anytime I have gone to the hospital for surgery they have asked about my DNR. Saying most people don't have one is your opinion but not likely a fact.