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03-21-2014, 09:48 AM
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#41
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Conroe, Texas
Posts: 18,645
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Quote:
Originally Posted by citrine
I think mid life crises is a nudge from your soul to do something that makes your heart happy .
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I think for me it was waking up one morning and looking around then asking myself "How the hell did I get into this situation?"
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03-21-2014, 04:01 PM
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#42
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 35,712
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brian
Do any of you feel you went thru a midlife crisis where you didn’t know what you wanted to do, but you just wanted to do something different?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by citrine
...
I think mid life crises is a nudge from your soul to do something that makes your heart happy I cannot imagine doing the same things year after year....what a boring way to live...for me...
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My midlife crisis when I was 40 caused me to leave a cushy job at a megacorp to found a couple of startups with friends of the same mind. The businesses later floundered despite our hard work. I have scars to show for it. I never went back to a megacorp, but by doing freelancing and contract work still managed to retire early. Whew... It could have been a lot worse.
No, never a desire for a fast car, or a mistress... My crisis then was more about the rest of my life, what else I could do outside of megacorps. After the humbling experience, I am now happy just counting my money with Quicken on a good market day. Yes, it could have been worse.
__________________
"Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man" -- Leon Trotsky (1879-1940)
"Those Who Can Make You Believe Absurdities Can Make You Commit Atrocities" - Voltaire (1694-1778)
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03-22-2014, 12:29 PM
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#43
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 431
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Many of us have been in this situation with doubts about out marriage. I highly recommend getting in to see a marriage counselor before it is too late to save.
Best decision I ever made in my life and now we are in a very happy place years later.
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03-31-2014, 08:17 AM
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#44
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 507
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AllDone
+1
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+1
was my first thought.
I quit smoking yrs. ago and had a lot of the same symptoms.
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04-01-2014, 09:12 AM
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#45
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Northern Illinois
Posts: 16,543
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I had a midlife crisis 13 years ago at the age of 45. Just gave the result a spring cleaning.
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04-01-2014, 09:51 AM
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#46
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 35,712
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Nice looking car after 13 years. Either you have really pampered it, or used Photoshop.
__________________
"Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man" -- Leon Trotsky (1879-1940)
"Those Who Can Make You Believe Absurdities Can Make You Commit Atrocities" - Voltaire (1694-1778)
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04-01-2014, 10:04 AM
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#47
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Lawn chair in Texas
Posts: 14,183
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NW-Bound
Nice looking car after 13 years. Either you have really pampered it, or used Photoshop.
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Photoshop vac...
__________________
Have Funds, Will Retire
...not doing anything of true substance...
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04-01-2014, 12:31 PM
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#48
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Northern Illinois
Posts: 16,543
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NW-Bound
Nice looking car after 13 years. Either you have really pampered it, or used Photoshop.
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Thanks - No photoshop. Just got lucky with the sunlight in the photo. Pampered, but not really pampered- it sits in the garage from November to April. But I have taken out a deer with it. Only has 79k miles
Quote:
Originally Posted by HFWR
Photoshop vac...
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yes there was a shopvac involved
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04-01-2014, 10:55 PM
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#49
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Conroe, Texas
Posts: 18,645
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Nice! I always treated my "65 Vette better than most things. I should have never sold it.
I drove back from Oklahoma City today and followed a new 2014 Z06 Vette (pure white) for about 200 miles on I-45. Older fellow was driving it. All I can say is wow.
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04-02-2014, 03:28 AM
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#50
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gone traveling
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 1,135
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One of my favorite blog posts from NYT.... great perspective on men, women, marriage and the mid life crises that we face...
Quote:
By LAURA A. MUNSON
Published: July 31, 2009
Sure, you have your marital issues, but on the whole you feel so self-satisfied about how things have worked out that you would never, in your wildest nightmares, think you would hear these words from your husband one fine summer day: “I don’t love you anymore. I’m not sure I ever did. I’m moving out. The kids will understand. They’ll want me to be happy.”
../..
And I saw what had been missing: pride. He’d lost pride in himself. Maybe that’s what happens when our egos take a hit in midlife and we realize we’re not as young and golden anymore.
My husband had become lost in the myth. But he found his way out. We’ve since had the hard conversations. In fact, he encouraged me to write about our ordeal. To help other couples who arrive at this juncture in life. People who feel scared and stuck. Who believe their temporary feelings are permanent. Who see an easy out, and think they can escape.
My husband tried to strike a deal. Blame me for his pain. Unload his feelings of personal disgrace onto me.
But I ducked. And I waited. And it worked.
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Mod edit; Indeed a wonderful post, but copyright rules protect the content (see Gumby's sticky here). The original post is here, behind a paywall that allows a few free views.
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04-02-2014, 08:01 AM
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#51
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Charleston, SC
Posts: 13,566
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Wow, that is a great post--thank you very much for sharing it. I really can appreciate it a lot, though thankfully not having experienced it entirely. But I do have one of those midlife husbands, who has been working very hard on that ego/happiness thing since leaving his job this past summer.
Really glad you dug that up, papa.
__________________
“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching.”
Gerard Arthur Way
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04-02-2014, 08:09 AM
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#52
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 969
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Thank You All
Many thanks to both the OP (original poster, Brian) for starting this thread and for all those who have contributed to it. When this started, I never expected this to remain a civil discussion; I am both impressed and grateful.
Based on the views/replies ratio of this thread, I am assuming many others have found it useful in some way but have been following it quietly as I had been. Even though I do not have anything useful or insightful to contribute, I did want to publicly thank all who have done so and remind you that you are helping more than one person (OP), likely many more.
__________________
If there's one thing in my life that's missing; It's the time I spend alone
Sailing on the cool and bright clear waters; There's lots of those friendly people
Showin me ways to go; And I never want to lose your inspiration
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04-02-2014, 09:07 AM
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#53
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: SF East Bay
Posts: 4,324
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That's a fantastic story papadad - thanks for posting it here.
__________________
Contentedly ER, with 3 furry friends (now, sadly, 1).
Planning my escape to the wide open spaces in my campervan (with my remaining kitty, of course!)
On a mission to become the world's second most boring man.
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04-03-2014, 05:07 AM
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#54
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: midwestern city
Posts: 4,061
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To the OP : I am 49 also and also going through a mid life crisis. Right now, in your shoes, I would stay put and seek medical advice. Psych consult might be indicated. Good luck and take care.
__________________
Very conservative with investments. Not ER'd yet, 48 years old. Please do not take anything I write or imply as legal, financial or medical advice directed to you. Contact your own financial advisor, healthcare provider, or attorney for financial, medical and legal advice.
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04-03-2014, 09:38 AM
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#55
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Dryer sheet aficionado
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 32
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Quote:
Originally Posted by obgyn65
To the OP : I am 49 also and also going through a mid life crisis. Right now, in your shoes, I would stay put and seek medical advice. Psych consult might be indicated. Good luck and take care.
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Noone wants to know if you are taking your own advice and seeing a shrink.
__________________
Noone knows everything
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04-03-2014, 10:02 AM
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#56
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: NC Triangle
Posts: 5,807
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Quote:
Originally Posted by noone
Noone wants to know if you are taking your own advice and seeing a shrink.
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That's what e-r.org is for. They beat you up till you grow a spine.
__________________
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04-03-2014, 11:41 AM
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#57
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: midwestern city
Posts: 4,061
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Whatever.
Quote:
Originally Posted by noone
Noone wants to know if you are taking your own advice and seeing a shrink.
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__________________
Very conservative with investments. Not ER'd yet, 48 years old. Please do not take anything I write or imply as legal, financial or medical advice directed to you. Contact your own financial advisor, healthcare provider, or attorney for financial, medical and legal advice.
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