sister end of life

All I can say is God Bless you and your family. When sis passes and you feel low I want you to come back and read this entire thread

You'll see you are a wonderful brother and did everything possible to make her last days comfortable. You loved her that's what matters.
 
Bigdawg said:
... Love her because she is my sister. Had a few good conversations with her over the past two weeks. Very different perspectives on almost everything but I was cordial and understanding. Feel like I did everything I could do within reason. Will not blow our stash on a dying addict, family or not. Had one last conversation with a doctor yesterday before I left. He is thinking 2-3 weeks at best. He and I are actually hoping for a few days...
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You are a good brother, and have done as much as a sibling can do.

At this point, I don't see how more money would make any difference in the outcome. It would not matter if she were a billionaire.
 
Bigdawg...you have gone through so much, and so has your sister. I'm so glad that you and she had a couple of good talks before you left, and, even though I don't know you face to face and am not really privileged to say this, I will...I'm so proud of you, that you care so much for your sister and tried so hard in so many ways to help her, and had the grace to be cordial and understanding in what might be your last conversations with her. You will never regret the efforts you made on her behalf. Love has many faces, and this is yours...
 
The plan was to not update this thread until she passed. Well, almost there. Just got off the phone with the doctors. Her bed sores are infected (MRSA). Dialysis port needs to come out to treat the infection. No dialysis for at least a week. She was going 2x week. We decided no surgery for the infection. It's to the bone. So basically hospice without calling it hospice. They will still treat the infection and keep her comfortable but no surgery and no dialysis (for now). Probably can't survive more than 2 weeks w/out dialysis. I am online now setting up the cremation (prepaid). They will come and pick up the body and take care of all the paperwork. My nephew (local) will get the ashes for now. I will walk him through the state of Arkansas "no probate below 100K estate" process. Thank you all for the support over the past few months.
 
Prayers to you and your sister/family. Hospice will keep her comfortable.
You have done tremendous amount of work to help your sister and your nephew.
Blessings to you.
My father passed within 3 days of stopping dialysis. He was at home on hospice, passed peacefully.
 
She didn't get in such bad physical condition overnight, and she should have applied for Soc. Sec. Disability long ago. She would get Medicare 1 year after the disability started.

She is simply in end stage renal failure and her chance of getting any transplants are about nil. Sounds like a candidate for dialysis with Medicaid picking up the tab.

My uncle, father and most recently my cousin were on dialysis. It is a hellish existence--3 hrs. a day, 3 days per week. Patients average 4 years until clots go to brain or the heart or lungs. Diabetes is tough.

Sometimes the body is just worn out and it's time to go. Then it's one's soul that is most important.
 
I know this can't be easy for your sister and your entire family, including you. I am so sorry that you are going through this. Hugs
 
She will be in a better place for her.
 
So sorry to hear her time is close. I hope for a peaceful passing and that she can be kept comfortable. You have gone way beyond to help her and try to get things in order.
 
Hi, Sorry to hear that. I didnt read from beginning. Just from today's OP's reply.
I used to be a hospice nurse and had patient with the same case. Without dialysis, it will be quick. I am not sure if your sister shows any signs or symptoms of pain or discomfort. You said you dont have a hospice service. Do you have any pain meds with regular dr? If hospice is there, they would give you morphine liquid form med for comfort. Since it will be so quick, won't bother to register a hospice service, but if any dr will prescribe morphine, I would take to use for comfort. But dialysis pt would look peaceful but not sure with infection. so just mentioning about morphine. It will help you to see she is going to pass away. Hospice service is to help for remains too.
 
Aww, Bigdawg...I'm so sorry. I hope her passing is painless and peaceful...
 
Sorry to hear this BigDawg. My thoughts are with you and your nephew.
 
Just catching up on this thread. My deepest condolences BigDawg. I just went through losing my big sis to nasty Stage IV colon cancer and although this seems odd to to type this out, soon the pain will be gone and peace will be with you and your loved ones. We are here for you. Please keep us updated. Prayers and hugs brother!
 
Thanks for the comments. Appreciate the support. Such weird times for me. Got back from seeing my sister in August. On 1 Sept I had a fantastic phone interview. 3 days later we spent a week on Roatan scuba diving at an all inclusive. Got back and saw my doctor. Labs came back great. All levels looking good. Had a birthday Sunday, DW and DD left that morning to go check wedding venues near Delaware. Found an awesome site at a Christmas tree farm. I umpired a DH. Then had afollow up in person interview on Monday. The 2 guys from the phone interview-one died of covid while I was in Roatan. So weird. Then I got the call about my sister going down hill. Also had to take the old cat (12 yrs old) in for an open wound on his hind. Then buddy called form the hosptial. He has kidney stones. Sister has decide dshe will see our mom. I have an offer phone call tomorrow morning for the job. Weird how life throws these curve balls at us. Some good and hittable, others low and away in the dirt. I will take all of it. I'm not naive enough to ever think only goodness comes my way. Plenty of friends and family to help me deal with life. Dropped the DD and the fiance at Dulles at 0345 this morning. I guess that's what dad's do. They are headed to Hawaii for 10 days with my in laws. Life is good (and bad). Mostly good. Heading to St croix next month for some more scuba. Bought a new reg and BCD today. St Croix will be the test run for the new gear. Sorry for the ramble. Lots on my mind.
 
Bigdawg said:
Thanks for the comments. Appreciate the support. Such weird times for me. Got back from seeing my sister in August. On 1 Sept I had a fantastic phone interview. 3 days later we spent a week on Roatan scuba diving at an all inclusive. Got back and saw my doctor. Labs came back great. All levels looking good. Had a birthday Sunday, DW and DD left that morning to go check wedding venues near Delaware. Found an awesome site at a Christmas tree farm. I umpired a DH. Then had afollow up in person interview on Monday. The 2 guys from the phone interview-one died of covid while I was in Roatan. So weird. Then I got the call about my sister going down hill. Also had to take the old cat (12 yrs old) in for an open wound on his hind. Then buddy called form the hosptial. He has kidney stones. Sister has decide dshe will see our mom. I have an offer phone call tomorrow morning for the job. Weird how life throws these curve balls at us. Some good and hittable, others low and away in the dirt. I will take all of it. I'm not naive enough to ever think only goodness comes my way. Plenty of friends and family to help me deal with life. Dropped the DD and the fiance at Dulles at 0345 this morning. I guess that's what dad's do. They are headed to Hawaii for 10 days with my in laws. Life is good (and bad). Mostly good. Heading to St croix next month for some more scuba. Bought a new reg and BCD today. St Croix will be the test run for the new gear. Sorry for the ramble. Lots on my mind.
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Diving in St. Croix is really nice. They have great restaurants too. This will be a nice break for you after all the recent stress. So sorry about your sister. Hope her passing is peaceful and you can be comforted by the good memories from happier times. You’ve done all you could to help, and more than many would have.
 
I'm sorry for all of the heartache. I hope your sister's passing is painless and gentle. It is surreal, isn't it, how so much good and bad can happen all at the same time? Be here now has been my new mantra.
 
I have an offer phone call tomorrow morning for the job

Need to change your target 2021 to 20xx ;-)

Will this J.O.B be at PAX?
 
f35phixer said:
I have an offer phone call tomorrow morning for the job

Need to change your target 2021 to 20xx ;-)

Will this J.O.B be at PAX?
Click to expand...

Haha. Yup. DW @ 49 wants to work a few more years so I figure might as well fill a few hours a day with an easy aviation job. Work from home. Paid for 40 but more like 3-4 hours of actual work per day. 6 figures. Working paperwork, pubs and liason with an airframe I started with 31 years ago. Still gives me all kinds of time to get the honey do list completed.

One other issue to throw into the crazy ups and downs: Cousins wife fell in love with the pastor she works for. Another 30 + yr marriage down the tubes. Found this out last night. Crazy times.
 
I called DW when I woke up this morning. She was out the door at 0515 and I get up at 6 now. She told me about the 2 cop cars, 2 fire trucks and amblunce out side our house late last night. Apparently I slept thru the whole thing. Turns out my 88 yr old neighbor passed. Great guy. Next door is their vacation house so they are only down here weekends and summer. Can't wait to see what happens next. What ever it is, I will deal with it. Today will include talking to new company about offer, talking to DS's doctors, dropping car off for a few minor fixes (can't/won't work on a BMW myself), offering condolences next door, finishing DD's house (flooring and trim work), talking to the rest of the cousins about the other cousin getting divorced. I am the youngest cousin. The oldest cousin and I are the only sane ones in the family. We will circle the wagons. DS agreed to meet with our DM. But my mom won't go over to see her today because of the Friday cocktail party (every Friday at the assisted living). Looking over at the hat rack for my cat herding beret. I'll need it again today. Almost forgot. I'm the HOA (loose organization) treasurer. Need to send out a financial report to the neighborhood. Git r dun!! Thanks for your support. There might be one or two of you out there who think this stuff is interesting. This is for you.
 
"Looking over at the hat rack for my cat herding beret. I'll need it again today."

My heavens, you will need it!

Don't forget to schedule some time for YOU every day...exercise, a good book for a few minutes, some down time. You seem to be the one taking care of everyone else - you need to take care of yourself, too.
 
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