As in life, it's all about the people around you. Not the staff, but other passengers, for authentic interaction.
Also, you can make a connection with the guest lecture or other guest activity people. These are not the "activity staff". Those people can be jovial but paid to be doing it, and jostled around by their likely demanding employer. The guest lecture person does it infrequently, so might sit down and have a cuppa with you. The "guest lecture" I liked the most was a watercolor class. The leader was paid, but her husband and brother came along just for fun.
This is not to discount spending time with your spouse, but that's no different than home (except no shopping, cooking, cleaning). If you could rig up a deal where some friends went on the same cruise, that would be the best.
One more source for interaction is common interests with other cruisers. Here, you go on cruisecritic forum, find your roll-call, and sign up for stuff. They do "dumb stuff" like slot machine pulls, but have regular card games, dominos, stuff like that. It's way more fun to make a date for the climbing wall or hot tub than it is to just go by yourself.
And I'd go for a 6 or 8 person dinner table. If they all turn out not to your liking, you can always do anytime dinner, specialty, or buffet. But we're still in contact with probably 3 or 4 couples that we met at our table, and have done additional travel activities with some of them.