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03-17-2020, 12:46 PM
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#61
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Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 10,723
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A pretty good one, so I felt compelled to reference it in this thread:
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03-17-2020, 01:06 PM
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#62
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Cholula
Posts: 1,595
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 Quote:
Originally Posted by Silver
Subject: Covid pandemic escalation levels
Australia, meanwhile, has raised its alert level from “No worries” to “She'll be alright, Mate.” Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!” and “The barbie is cancelled.” So far, no situation has ever warranted use of the final.
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The neighboring Kiwis raised their alert level from "sweet as bro" to "you're taking the piss". Once confirmed cases reached 8 in number it was elevated to "chuck a sickie". Should the disease become more widespread, New Zealand will just blame the Aussies anyway 'cus they can't even organize a piss-up in a brewery.
__________________
“Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you’ll be a mile from them, and you’ll have their shoes.” – Jack Handey
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03-17-2020, 01:48 PM
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#63
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Texas: No Country for Old Men
Posts: 50,021
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...
__________________
Numbers is hard
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03-18-2020, 12:32 PM
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#64
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Texas: No Country for Old Men
Posts: 50,021
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...
__________________
Numbers is hard
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03-19-2020, 03:51 AM
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#65
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Administrator
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: N. Yorkshire
Posts: 34,124
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Here in England Vera Lynn (102 years young) is doing a recording, proceeds to charity, of her most famous wartime hit.
“There’ll be loo rolls over the white cliffs of Dover”
apologies to ERD and others if the English accent in this joke is confusing
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Retired in Jan, 2010 at 55, moved to England in May 2016
Enough private pension and SS income to cover all needs
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03-19-2020, 06:47 AM
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#66
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 236
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Not really funny but I'm wondering if they know something I don't. This ad appeared while reading this thread.
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03-19-2020, 06:56 AM
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#67
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: SF East Bay
Posts: 4,342
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This thread closely resembles Facebook, with the plethora of memes. I almost had to do a doubletake. To tell the truth, I was a little dismayed, as the constant memes and jokes about C-19 on my FB feed are getting a bit much, and all seem a bit silly.
Then I saw Alan's one liner about ammonia cleaner. Brilliant!
__________________
Contentedly ER, with 3 furry friends (now, sadly, 1).
Planning my escape to the wide open spaces in my campervan (with my remaining kitty, of course!)
On a mission to become the world's second most boring man.
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03-19-2020, 08:01 AM
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#68
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Administrator
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: N. Yorkshire
Posts: 34,124
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And from down under comes the delightful “Ballad of Dunny Roll”. For an Ozzie poem it is surprisingly free of obscenities, but still very funny.
https://youtu.be/ia0bfWbOLjY
__________________
Retired in Jan, 2010 at 55, moved to England in May 2016
Enough private pension and SS income to cover all needs
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03-19-2020, 08:10 AM
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#69
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Dryer sheet wannabe
Join Date: Mar 2020
Location: NJ
Posts: 12
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Beating the blues of staying home with humor!
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03-19-2020, 08:25 AM
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#70
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 8,368
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alan
And from down under comes the delightful “Ballad of Dunny Roll”. For an Ozzie poem it is surprisingly free of obscenities, but still very funny.
https://youtu.be/ia0bfWbOLjY |
Remarkably similar to post #45. 
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"Exit, pursued by a bear."
The Winter's Tale, William Shakespeare
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03-19-2020, 09:32 AM
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#71
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Orlando, Fl
Posts: 950
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My DH and I were laughing about the Monty Python and the Holy Grail Scene "Bring Out Your Dead."
We're not there yet....so all is well.
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"Some people describe themselves as being able to see things as a glass half full. For some, the glass is half empty. Me? I can't even find the f***king glass."
Silver
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03-19-2020, 09:42 AM
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#72
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Administrator
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: N. Yorkshire
Posts: 34,124
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__________________
Retired in Jan, 2010 at 55, moved to England in May 2016
Enough private pension and SS income to cover all needs
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03-19-2020, 09:44 AM
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#73
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 8,368
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alan
Oops!
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"No worries Cobber, she'll be right." 
__________________
"Exit, pursued by a bear."
The Winter's Tale, William Shakespeare
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03-19-2020, 09:46 AM
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#74
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Les Bois
Posts: 5,761
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golf course got crowded all of a sudden during the day
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You can't be a retirement plan actuary without a retirement plan, otherwise you lose all credibility...
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03-19-2020, 10:04 AM
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#75
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 9,514
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Got tested should be good to go.
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03-19-2020, 10:16 AM
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#76
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Dogpatch
Posts: 561
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My contributions
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03-19-2020, 10:29 AM
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#77
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Cholula
Posts: 1,595
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Major Tom
To tell the truth, I was a little dismayed, as the constant memes and jokes about C-19 on my FB feed are getting a bit much, and all seem a bit silly.
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Then I doubt you'll care for this one either Mate!
Bill.jpg
__________________
“Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you’ll be a mile from them, and you’ll have their shoes.” – Jack Handey
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03-19-2020, 01:39 PM
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#78
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: GTA
Posts: 1,728
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Some people will stoop to anything to make a buck. And some people will believe anything they're told..
__________________
Family Motto: "Every penny's a prisoner"
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03-19-2020, 04:00 PM
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#79
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Eastern WV Panhandle
Posts: 25,340
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Shamelessly lifted from another site:
__________________
When I was a kid I wanted to be older. This is not what I expected.
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03-19-2020, 04:11 PM
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#80
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Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Flyover country
Posts: 25,349
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And just in case there are still some lingering doubts about the adequacy of your TP stockpile, here's the calculator you were looking for:
How much toilet paper?
__________________
I thought growing old would take longer.
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