Feeling so depressed and confused

[Poopycat]

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Originally Posted by Toocold Being unemployed for the first time is jarring, so it's understandable especially during these times. I find that my happiness is inversely correlated to the amount of news and social media I digest. I would start with a walk and see how you feel.

I do find that turning off the news has helped me. I hate being less informed, but the news is just so depressing...

[Poopycat]

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Originally Posted by gwraigty I second the suggestion to file for unemployment. Just know that you're among many still trying over the last month. It will take awhile. Be persistent. Our state keeps urging people to apply for the 40,000 available jobs that essential businesses are desperately hiring for. They may not pay what you're used to, but it's something if you want some money coming in or if you'd feel better being somewhat among other people right now.

Fortunately, I don’t need the money at the moment. I should get a decent sized separation check in a couple of weeks. And I am eligible for unemployment, although I’m not sure if severance will reduce the amount I’m eligible for. I expect it will. I also bought tickets to a sporting event this summer that I expect will be canceled. At least I hope so; it would be dangerous to pack 20,000+ into stadium grounds for an entire week, if you ask me. If it’s canceled, I would get a very nice refund. I would definitely have more money coming in this year than I spend.

I could definitely see myself doing part-time delivery work as a retiree, or any number of part time jobs. But for now, I’ll stay on the sidelines and just hold out for full time jobs in my field or nothing at all, and leave the essential immediate openings for those who desperately need money.

[Poopycat]

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Originally Posted by copyright1997reloaded Take a deep breath. Go for a walk. Sometimes things happen that are bad, and sometimes things happen that seem bad (but aren't really). You had a plan, and yes while that was 350K higher, if you were financially ready then you are most likely financially ready now. Here's the thing - letting go is scary. Whether that be your job or a relationship (even an abusive one). That takes TIME to process, especially when it happens all of a sudden and even more when there is a whirlwind of external factors (like the virus, housing market, a potential move and so on) adding to the stress factors. And they ARE stress factors. I don't have an easy answer for you...other than you can get through this. Some of the getting through this is to have enough laid out in front of you to assure yourself that you have 'enough' to get by if things don't work out so great. Some of getting through this is to relieve stress though physical and mental exercise unrelated to the things bringing on stress. ETA: I think if you took a survey where people were forced to answer truthfully, you would find a LOT of retired people were anxious when it actually came to the event, and especially anxious in cases where it was somehow forced upon them.

I think that’s the big thing: I didn’t choose to be let go. I had already planned to leave at the end of October!!! Voluntarily! I had already started telling friends and family that I was done. I was working on my exit plan. I already had my November itinerary in place.

Then the rug was pulled out from under me, right as the market dropped. My six months to plan was gone. And the ego was bruised. But really, the financial part isn’t that different. I lose six months of salary and a full bonus payout, but I make up a lot of that with severance, partial bonus, and perhaps unemployment. It’s a drop in the bucket compared to my overall portfolio. So the main reason I think I’m reacting this strongly, other than the obvious coronavirus fear, is how this all went down.

[SpinDoctorTX]

Severance pay doesn't ding your unemployment eligibility (at least not in TX). Good luck with the house sale- you never know with real estate, it could get snapped right up.

[bloom2708]

If you had a reasonable stock/bond/cash allocation (retiring in < 6 months) and lost $350k, you must have a large pile. You likely will be fine.

I would sell the house. De-clutter your life possessions and think about where you want to live. Closer to family? Great weather?

How about renting for a period? It sounds like you are single, didn't mention kids.

The world is your oyster. Even now. This virus has gotten most people to basically pay for living and food. That should slim the budget down to fit for a long time.

See if the house sells. See where you want to be. Maybe part-time work? Maybe an RV? Maybe shorter term rentals.

Good luck!

[Rianne]

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Originally Posted by Poopycat I As of today, I am unemployed. First time I have ever been laid off. If the economy had been going swimmingly like it was in February, I would have said Hoorah! because I had already planned to hang it up in October, sell the house, and take a long trip to the west coast to figure out where to live. I work, or should I say worked, in HR, so I do know that there is already a bias against candidates who have been laid off, so I will have a strike against me. I’ve decided to get the house up for sale; maybe I can sell before the market falls apart, and take advantage when prices drop in the part of the country that interests me. But if I stay put and prices plunge, I’ll be stuck in an area I hate. But is being someplace I hate with an affordable roof over my head better than living in a higher cost area when your retirement portfolio has just collapsed?

This was a difficult post to read. So sorry you're in this situation and feeling depressed. Are you alone? Do you have a mortgage? Do you have debt?

You mentioned sitting on cash and bonds later in your post. I run a similar scenario in my head, if my DH passed. I'd be lost. It's more the emotional toll, I can reduce my spending in a heartbeat. That part is easy. Being alone scares me more than anything.

Your career is in Human Resources, so you must have experience with dire situations. I'd say, use your instincts. Human resources has a variety of challenges in human nature.

This might sound weird, but we live in a major university town. So much activity, students everywhere. I took a walk through the campus yesterday. Ghost town. Strangely, I enjoyed it. All by myself. There are silver linings if we look for them. The simple things get me through.

[Calico]

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Originally Posted by Poopycat Hi everyone, thanks for all the responses. I had to disconnect for a couple of days just so I could try to get myself in the right frame of mind. I am feeling better and, while not jumping for joy, at least more optimistic that things will work out ok.<snip> So I’m reversing my thinking as best I can. I have options. And I can keep irons in the fire for all of them and choose what is best for me. Maybe an interesting job offer eventually pops up, or maybe it’s a temporary move to a low cost state while I wait to see if things can happen for me in my preferred part of the country. And if not, I can go the expat route if needed. I’ll be just fine. Thanks everyone.

Based on this post you are clearly a very pragmatic, thoughtful, resilient person. I am so pleased to hear that you are feeling better about your situation; I was concerned after your first post.

Yes, it is extremely stressful when the rug is pulled out from under us - and that is in normal circumstances, let alone when the world is facing a pandemic with so many unknowns. We can't predict what will happen next, and that is very unsettling.

It sounds to me like you have done an excellent job of sorting through your options, accepting what you can and cannot control, and making a plan (to the extent any of us can plan right now!)

My only advice for now would be to continue doing what you are doing:

1. keep taking those deep breaths
2. turn off the TV news!! no good will come from immersing yourself in it
3. keep in touch with friends and family remotely; it does wonders for one's mood

Good luck with the house sale. I have confidence you will land on your feet whatever happens next.