Life Style and Status

[Enuff2Eat]

one of the guy in the office told me that "the richer you are the less neighbor you want" or "the bigger shot you are in the office the further away and the more isolate you want to be".. what's up with that?

 

[bbbamI]

Sounds like he wouldn't want to associate with the peons.

 

[theloneranger]

My experience is that once one gets much beyond 100 K per year income, there is a smaller circle of friends to associate with. Not counting hangerson who are not true friends.

 

[W2R]

Hey, I'm not rich or a big shot and I like the idea of being isolated and far from my neighbors...

I'll bet there are a lot of people who would agree, rich or not.

 

[Gumby]

I've known introverts and extroverts. None of their tendencies appeared to be correlated with income.

 

[LOL!]

I can see where you might want different neighbors as your life progresses. For example, you are young and not married: you might not want neighbors who have little kids that leave trikes in your driveway. Or you have kids and you want all your neighbors with kids to live close by on a cul-de-sac so that everyone can play together without having to drive to a play-date appointment. Or you are older and you don't want a houseful of teenagers with 3 bands living next door to you. Etc.

 

[donheff]

I've known introverts and extroverts. None of their tendencies appeared to be correlated with income.

+1. I agree. It is a personality factor. There are plenty of management by walking around types at high levels just as there are many isolated office egotists. My neighborhood (dense city center) has as many loaded residents as does McMansion-land.

 

[W2R]

+1. I agree. It is a personality factor. There are plenty of management by walking around types at high levels just as there are many isolated office egotists. My neighborhood (dense city center) has as many loaded residents as does McMansion-land.

Come to think of it - - rumor has it that where I work, middle management was told by upper management that they needed to walk around more ("management by walking around", I suppose).

So since nobody is telling upper management what to do, they aren't walking around as much. Could that be what is being noticed?

As for McMansion-land, if they are in a HOA then wouldn't they have to interact with that, at the very least? I am thinking the only way to really get away from neighbors is to live way out in the country. Since I "don't do" septic tanks, and I like being near stores, I'll probably just settle for 1/3 acre lot on a quiet street in town, and hope for introverted neighbors.

 

[ChemEng]

I dont make $100k (yet!), but Ive thought the same for most of my adult life.

The more money I make, the more land Im going to buy--not necessarily a larger house. Theres no way Im going to move into a subdivision somewhere just for the privledge to rub elbows for other people in my same tax bracket. That would drive me crazy. There is a certain piece of mind the comes from knowing that my neighbors cant look into any of my windows.

 

[W2R]

There is a certain piece of mind the comes from knowing that my neighbors cant look into any of my windows.

Just a brief off topic aside - - Right now I only have 10 feet from my house to the lot line on both sides, which means I am only about 20 feet from my neighbors (ugh!). This is due to the narrow lots we have in most of New Orleans. Before Katrina I bought a beautiful old stained glass window from a salvage company that fits almost perfectly inside my kitchen window. With that stained glass in place, they can't look in (not that they would intentionally, but I feel more secure). Light still gets into my kitchen nicely, since the glass is in lighter colors. Sure beats mini-blinds!

In ER I plan to move north and live on more land, probably a lot at least 30 feet wider, which of course is the best solution to that problem.

 

[ChemEng]

In ER I plan to move north and live on more land, probably a lot at least 30 feet wider, which of course is the best solution to that problem.

Its definately a step up from 10', but still not enough for me W2R. Right now I have at least 1 acre on all sides of my house to my nearest neighbor. I *LOVE* it (just sucks to mow it all). If land opened up around my property, I would snatch it up in a heartbeat just on prinicple--This is my life, its my property, and Im going to do what I want with it without worrying about interference from people just because they have eyes!

I did get a taste of neighborhood life last year--sort of. I was doing some home repairs and had a bunch of subfloor wood collected. The trash collectors wouldnt take it because of the nails and the weight. So instead of running it to the junk yard and having to pay for disposal, I decided to burn it instead.

I got a visit from my nearest neighbor the next day when I started burning again "just making sure everything was alright. Because he saw the smoke." I explained what I was doing and he shook his head, walking away saying "how much he hates having white trash neighbors." So I laughed and threw some more wood onto the burn pile just for spite.

 

[W2R]

I'd love to live on a lot of land like that! It sounds divine. But alas, I am too much of a city girl to learn how to deal with septic tanks, wells, and rider mowers (or animals if the land is wooded, eek!). I'd rather be inside the city limits. Love city trash collection, police, fire, convenience.

There are a few houses for sale in the town where I plan to go, that are on an acre or so. That's as big as I would dare go, though, and I am thinking 1/3 acre would probably be better for me. A lot that was 150'x150' would put some distance between me and the neighbors' dogs and teenagers. It would still be small enough that I could hire someone to mow it without breaking the bank. Frank and I dream of buying houses next door to each other on large lots like that, at the end of a dead end street, but the likelihood of finding that sort of situation is not great.

 

[ladelfina]

I dunno, but when I travel the back roads of NE I see a lot of houses (and trailers!) in the middle of nowhere. With rusting cars in the front.

Manhattan is the densest and yet the most pricey.

I think it all depends on a "sweet spot" of location and how much space you can command with respect to others in the general vicinity.

 

[Fireup2020]

Growing up on a few hundred acres gave me enough of being "far" from my neighbors. I agree it is more personality than income that determines what you deem desirable for living. Often the "higher" up one goes in an organization, the less socializing/interaction there tends to be with the aforementioned peons - so the relationships do not appear preferential. Very important to have a social circle outside the office!

 

[CuppaJoe]

Perhaps the richer folks want more privacy at w*rk to plan their retirement strategies. There I go again, I only have one thing on my mind.

I fall into the category of being horrified at the prospect of living in a single family house. I like apt. living and really enjoy other people's dogs.

 

[W2R]

I like apt. living and really enjoy other people's dogs.

You have near saintly patience!

More often than not, one of my neighbor's dogs starts barking loudly and incessantly about five minutes after my head hits the pillow, and doesn't quit for a couple of hours. I think she just happens to put the dog out at that time. I used to think it was such a cute little long haired dachsund, but it sounds like the Hound of the Baskervilles late at night. Her large dog (which I thought at first was responsible for the barking) doesn't actually bark much at all.

I've seen the dachsund barking on a rope in the front yard when she is there gardening. He lunges again and again on the rope and I worry that he will break his neck, so strong are his attacks!

Actually, one nice thing about having a house that is a little too large, is that I have a guest bedroom set up at the other end of the house. If I can't sleep due to the barking, I just wander down the hall and sleep in the guest room. No problem.

Sometimes it is really annoying when I am trying to lug in my groceries through the side door, or when I am trying to do a little yard work, and the dog gets started with all that woofing. I like to be out in nature and to listen to the birds and wind, but the barking drowns them out.

 

[ziggy29]

More like it would be: for those who tend to value privacy and lots of "space", the more you have and the higher up you go in the corporate food chain, the more you can actually attain those things. I don't think there's anything about being "rich" that makes you more likely to want to isolate yourself and put a lot of "distance" between you and other people...but for those who have that personality trait, having the Benjamins makes it possible.

Of course, there is a subset of wealthy folks who do it mostly just to flaunt their wealth, I'd imagine.

 

[Moemg]

I live in an elevated house so the living quarters are 20' up. It's like living in a treehouse totally private . My dream house would be a loft in a small city with lots of restaurants and little shops and a library that I could walk to .Maybe someday !

 

[CuppaJoe]

Want2R:

A new neighbor's dog sounds like a grown man being stabbed to death. He only barks when his people are gone and never at times that disturb me. I thought he must be a 90 pounder but he turns out to be an adorable white curly maltapoo, smaller than my cat. Its hysterically funny to hear him across the street in the morning out walking.

 

[lazygood4nothinbum]

a dog's bark is designed to carry. i doubt an extra 100 ft will make much of a difference. if you are concentrating on the sound of that bark, you will still hear it even two blocks away.

seems to me sociability derives from individuals, not from external forces like status or areas. my very sociable mom was a great example of this. mom loved to party and always made her own niche regardless of her means nor of where she resided.

when we didn't have all that much money and lived in these garden apartments in new jersey, we had block parties all the time. later mom would join the local yacht club and even coast guard auxiliary to expand her socializing opportunities. for a while my parents lived onboard behind an apartment complex on the north end of fort lauderdale strip. there was another equally social lady who lived in the complex. (she was the wife of the pilot whose jet went down i think in the 70s when a bunch of birds were sucked into the engine...was all over the newspapers at the time). between these two ladies, there were parties at this complex practically every single day. people brought out food to share by the pool, floating backgammon boards, music, much fun.

later mom moved into a very expensive neighborhood. between mom & the ol'man they wrapped up the positions of president of their homeowner's association as well as publisher of the monthly newsletter. every year, one of the intracoastal homes would lend itself for the association's party which was attended by most of the residents including quite a few "brand name" people as i like to call them (last names you would know). many of these people probably wouldn't have said boo to each other weren't it for someone like my mom to get them out of their houses and into a neighbor's backyard.

all it takes to change sociability is to bring in a heart-felt catalyst or make the decision to be one. or live in isolation. i'm not sure that one is any better than the other. i don't know that one takes more effort than the other nor that one results in a higher quality of life. i do know that even those who didn't normally socialize seemed to love mom's parties, just like i know that if they had refused to attend, well, who would have eaten all that food?

 

[haha]

Lazy,

I wish your Mom were alive today and living down the hall from me. I could use a few potlucks!

Ha

 

[lazygood4nothinbum]

well, mom didn't actually cook. in fact, in one house she simply took the door off the wall oven and used the nook for a dried flower arrangement.

but she taught me well how to make reservations. she would have been delighted to throw you are pot luck party and she would have known all the best cooks in your building to invite.

 

[donheff]

my very sociable mom was a great example of this. mom loved to party and always made her own niche regardless of her means nor of where she resided.

These people are priceless. There were a couple in my neighborhood about 10 years ago who would organize great block parties. Everybody would come. A Ghananian (sp?) lady in my basic computing class last year had an avocation for party planning. She regularly organized parties with hundreds of people in various halls in her neighborhood. Everyone in her community knows her and loves her. Her husband took my class after her and he was a shy retiring guy. Go figure.

 

[kcowan]

We did the executive climber thing: 1200sq.fr, then 1600, 2200, 5000. The last was on an acreage with a view to downtown 25 miles away and lots of room for 2 teenage boys with their friends and cars.

Now we live in a 2000sq.ft. penthouse where the nearest window is four blocks away and 8 stories down, yet the bottom of the elevator is 2 minutes from shopping/dining in an urban village. This has made us feel very spoiled. We even have some very good neighbors in our building.