Want to quit now!

[Space Mountain]

Hi everyone:

I am 45 years old with investable Vanguard assets of 1.3 million. My home is worth around 200k and paid off. Recently, had a financial review/plan with Vanguard and rebalanced to 60 stocks, 40 bonds. (Consolidated portfolio) .16 expense ratio average.

I am single, no kids, in good health, never married and recently lost my mother. She meant everything to me. She died somewhat suddenly @ the age of 81. I do have family nearby.

At the moment, I feel depressed. I work out of my house but have taken time off to grieve. The reality is, I never wanna work again. I was even feeling this way BEFORE her death.

I live a simple lifestyle with no vices. Not into extended travel, golf, fancy cars, etc...

Vanguard advised me to have all my future capital gains and dividends placed into my prime money market account. ( I wanna buy on the next big dip)

I feel more comfortable reaching out on this forum rather than discussing my situation to friends and family.

Firecalc says 90% success for my yearly spending with plenty leftover @ age 90. (I don't expect to go that far)

I am your typical guy. Sports, gym, stock market, food. Nothin' real fancy.

Just wanted to vent, I suppose. Comments are welcomed.

Space Mountain

 

[MichaelB]

Welcome to the forum, Spare Mountain. So sorry about your Mom. Despite what FIRECalc says, this is not the right time to quit your job or make any other life-changing decision. You need to continue to grieve.

Once that is past you can start thinking about ER. It wouldn't hurt to run your retirement assumptions by the folks here, they can help make sure you haven't left anything out.

 

[MRG]

My condolences on you loss.

Sounds like financially you're set if you want to be.

I'm somewhat concerned about your 'depressed' statement. I'm grieving the up coming loss of DF. It's a tough process to go through.

How long since your Mom got ill, and passed? How long have you given yourself to grieve?

Edit 'Hadn't seen MichaelB post agree 100%'

MRG

 

[jclarksnakes]

EXCELLENT advice given already. I worry that you will retire without having a well defined goal for your retirement activities. Go back to work for some length of time and then reconsider the retirement decision. It looks like you are FI so the ER should work fine financially when you are ready for it.

 

[bbbamI]

I agree with MichaelB and MRG regarding the loss of your mom. Dealing with a major illness or loss of a loved one can mess with your mind.

Is it possible you could keeping working for a little while to see if you feel the same way? I know you said you wanted to quit before your mom passed away, but being busy for a while might help. An added bonus would be fluffing up your nest egg a bit more.

Do you keep a detailed spreadsheet of your expenses? I think that is very important to anyone on the road to retirement. This enables you to see exactly where your money goes and where you could cut back if needed.

 

[Meadbh]

Sorry to hear about your recent loss. Whatever FireCalc says, making a major decision shortly after a bereavement is not a good idea. Much better to continue working for at least a year, by which time, everything will be in better perspective. Generally speaking, grief can normally be significant for at least 6 months. It's important to make use of your supports, e.g. friends and family, during this time, and sometimes, your work associates with whom you have developed friendships. If you feel very depressed, or if your grief lasts longer than 6 months, do get some professional help.

In any case, prior to ER, it's best to have a plan for what you will retire TO, rather than FROM, as well as a detailed breakdown of your current and future expenses. You could start on those anytime.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

I'm picking up on single, work out of the house, and mom died.

Does your job get you out out the house and interacting with people, or do you work at home by yourself. If you work by yourself I am not sure I would agree with the poster who said not to quit. Working at home can get boring without co-workers to interact with. Maybe you need to be doing something more social right now, whether that is working at a job with co-workers or taking some time off and getting out to take classes, join clubs or do volunteer work.

If you quit work what would you do?

 

[Walt34]

Making a major decision right after a loss is generally not a good idea. But daylatedollarshort is also correct that if you stay home most of the time getting out more will probably have positive effects.

 

[ER Eddie]

I agree with what others are saying: don't make major decisions when you're depressed or in the middle of grieving.

What sort of work do you do? It sounds like you don't like it a bit. Have there been times that you enjoyed it? Aspects of it that you enjoyed? I'm just reacting to your statement that you never want to work again in your life. At 45, that's a strong statement to make. Do you have a clear vision for your non-work life, i.e., how you will keep yourself mentally and socially active, stimulated, etc?

 

[CoolChange]

Space Mountain,

We are kindred spirits in many respects, although, I do have more vices, including a love of travel.

While I definitely understand your desire not to work, I would also suggest postponing retirement for a while even though your desire to stop working does not seem to me like it was caused by your recent loss or general depression.

I do not have links to the research at my fingertips; but, I remember reading several articles in the not too distant past that concluded too many stressful events (whether positive or negative) within a short time drastically increase the chances of illness. And, the top stressors included death of loved ones and change in employment status. If I remember correctly, the general conclusion was that having two of these kinds of high stress events in a year put a person a risk for serious health issues, three or more almost guaranteed health issues.

I took the research seriously enough that I reconsidered my plans for relocation immediately after retirement. (Of course, I still have not pulled the trigger on either of those major sources of stress yet.)

Bottom line: Do not forget to take care of yourself while to recover from your loss.

 

[Rothman]

I am sorry for your loss, you can be proud of excellent financial results. I would also suggest spend some time working and growing that money until you are back in a good frame of mind. The time is needed, start thinking more about activities in retirement, starting some of those now could help on all fronts. I wish you the best

 

[Nomad4hire]

Hi everyone:

I am 45 years old with investable Vanguard assets of 1.3 million. My home is worth around 200k and paid off. Recently, had a financial review/plan with Vanguard and rebalanced to 60 stocks, 40 bonds. (Consolidated portfolio) .16 expense ratio average.

I am single, no kids, in good health, never married and recently lost my mother. She meant everything to me. She died somewhat suddenly @ the age of 81. I do have family nearby.

At the moment, I feel depressed. I work out of my house but have taken time off to grieve. The reality is, I never wanna work again. I was even feeling this way BEFORE her death.

I live a simple lifestyle with no vices. Not into extended travel, golf, fancy cars, etc...

Vanguard advised me to have all my future capital gains and dividends placed into my prime money market account. ( I wanna buy on the next big dip)

I feel more comfortable reaching out on this forum rather than discussing my situation to friends and family.

Firecalc says 90% success for my yearly spending with plenty leftover @ age 90. (I don't expect to go that far)

I am your typical guy. Sports, gym, stock market, food. Nothin' real fancy.

Just wanted to vent, I suppose. Comments are welcomed.

Space Mountain

Condolences and welcome to the forum. Firecalc is excellent for both projecting and for us has helped plan. ---Nomad

 

[Nomad4hire]

Condolences and welcome to the forum. Firecalc is excellent for both projecting and for us has helped plan. ---Nomad

And I agree with others, take some time to grieve and think before making and firm decisions. Just don't forget to give yourself that time as it is important and necessary.

---Nomad

 

[Delaney]

Why not pick a date in the future---in perhaps a year or two when you will retire and then do some concrete planning/dreaming now. Make sure that you have a good feel for your daily routine so there are no problematic surprises.

Or take several weeks off now and "practice" being retired---really imagine your vacation was going to last forever.