athena53
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
- Joined
- May 11, 2014
- Messages
- 7,384
DH died this morning- a relief after his life and activities becoming more and more limited since it was determined that his acute myeloid leukemia wasn't responding to treatment in late August. Thanks to hospice, he died peacefully at home in a cloud of Lorazepam, Haldol and morphine, which was what we both wanted.
So-o-o- I cope in times like this by doing organized, analytical things I can control. I got on the SS site and found I need to give back his last payment, received last week. Oops. Then I looked at the list of info they need and panicked a bit.
Background: DH was 78, started collecting at 65. I’m 63, retired, planning to wait till age 70 to collect on my own record, which will exceed the Widow’s benefit. DH was married twice before. Wife #1 is likely collecting SS- don’t know if it’s on her own or DH’s record (married well over 10 years). Wife #2 is deceased. I was married once before- the Ex started collecting on his own record at age 62 and died in 2010.
I can get hold of DH’s birth certificate, his death certificate, our marriage certificate, etc. It appears they have a lot of Qs about the previous marriages I can’t answer. Wife #1 was not on good terms with DH although I’m on very good terms with their son so I may be able to get elementary info like her date of birth off the top of his head. Not likely I can get other stuff they mention like date of divorce. I’m even less likely to get that info on Wife #2. I know her first name. That’s it. She was a dear friend of a mutual friend of DH and me, whom I just called today- but not sure what the mutual friend would know.
So, am I going to need all those gory details? And I assume widow’s benefits start as of 11/1 so that what I have to give back is offset somewhat. I can’t do anything till I get the death certificate and then I’ll fly into action. Cash flow is not an issue, but I’d appreciate any insight people c
So-o-o- I cope in times like this by doing organized, analytical things I can control. I got on the SS site and found I need to give back his last payment, received last week. Oops. Then I looked at the list of info they need and panicked a bit.
Background: DH was 78, started collecting at 65. I’m 63, retired, planning to wait till age 70 to collect on my own record, which will exceed the Widow’s benefit. DH was married twice before. Wife #1 is likely collecting SS- don’t know if it’s on her own or DH’s record (married well over 10 years). Wife #2 is deceased. I was married once before- the Ex started collecting on his own record at age 62 and died in 2010.
I can get hold of DH’s birth certificate, his death certificate, our marriage certificate, etc. It appears they have a lot of Qs about the previous marriages I can’t answer. Wife #1 was not on good terms with DH although I’m on very good terms with their son so I may be able to get elementary info like her date of birth off the top of his head. Not likely I can get other stuff they mention like date of divorce. I’m even less likely to get that info on Wife #2. I know her first name. That’s it. She was a dear friend of a mutual friend of DH and me, whom I just called today- but not sure what the mutual friend would know.
So, am I going to need all those gory details? And I assume widow’s benefits start as of 11/1 so that what I have to give back is offset somewhat. I can’t do anything till I get the death certificate and then I’ll fly into action. Cash flow is not an issue, but I’d appreciate any insight people c