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-   -   What makes your community feel like home? (https://www.early-retirement.org/forums/f29/what-makes-your-community-feel-like-home-85619.html)

jjquantz 02-26-2017 07:08 PM

What makes your community feel like home?
 
Had a eureka moment, thanks to W2R, when reading the ongoing rural/small town thread.

Quote:

Originally Posted by W2R (Post 1844166)
...

Personally? I think possibly you'd be better off finding a place that genuinely feels like home, and then figuring out "workarounds" for whatever it lacks. No place is perfect, as you have pointed out.

I thought that this was incredibly insightful and I didn't want to hijack that thread so...

What is it that makes your COMMUNITY feel like home to you? How long did it take for you to settle in? What made you suspect this was the right place BEFORE you made it permanent?

DW and I have struggled with this during our entire 37+ years of marriage. We've always been very happy with each other, but we've never found a place that feels like home. I would love to hear others' thoughts.

Ready 02-26-2017 07:13 PM

I don't like driving, so for me a town that is walkable is very important. And it must have a Costco within 5 miles. Otherwise, I'm flexible.

NW-Bound 02-26-2017 07:20 PM

I have lived in this metropolitan for more than 40 years, and in 3 different homes. Backyards have block fences around them, and people generally keep to themselves. Neighbors say hi when seeing each other, or nod when driving by. I saw and talked to my adjacent neighbors perhaps once every two weeks.

Up in my boondocks home, we talked with a neighbor down the road the other day. The last time was about 9 years ago.

Both feel like home. :)

GrayHare 02-26-2017 07:27 PM

I'd guess for many people a place that resembles where they spent formative and/or happiest years growing up will feel like home.

Ronstar 02-26-2017 07:27 PM

What makes your community feel like home?
 
My community feels like home because of familiarity - I spent all but 2 of my 61+ years within 6 miles of my current house. Country feel yet an hour from Chicago.

Bamaman 02-26-2017 07:38 PM

You could move to where you lived in your formative years--" back home."

But the chances are the people you grew up with have either moved elsewhere or they didn't make the same life choices you made. Other than high school experiences, you may not have much in common with them any longer.

We've found that it's up to us personally to make where we live home. And of the 4 major cities we've lived in the last 48 years, we could feel comfortable liviing 2 of them. The other two have changed socially and economically dramatically.

Souschef 02-26-2017 07:39 PM

This place really feels like home to me. DW and I will be celebrating our 10th anniversary this year.
We live in a +55 mobile home park. Our front porch, where I spend a lot of time, has the view of a 2,000 foot mountain a few miles away. I also watch the planes from our local airport, a half mile away.
We have great neighbors who help each other out, and it was sure better than living in that concrete canyon in the San Fernando Valley.

Rustic23 02-26-2017 08:06 PM

I have lots of friends/neighbors that would do almost anything to help out is we needed it.

Calico 02-26-2017 08:21 PM

Most of the (very small group) of family members I actually want to spend time with live here.

Friends I made decades ago in college still live here.

Friends I made while volunteering/working/fostering in local animal rescue organizations live here.

Friends I made in local UU churches live here.

pb4uski 02-26-2017 08:34 PM

We sort of have two communities... summer and winter.

Our permanent summer home is in a lakeside community... I have been there 55 years on and off so know a lot of people and DW has been there on and off for 35 years so she knows a lot of people there as well. We are active members of the lake association and they have a number of social dinners over the course of the summer.

Our winter home is in a condo/villa community... we are new but a number of couples that we socialize with through the country club at home are also down here... part of the reason we ended up in this association was because we were constantly coming up here to have dinner, or drinks or play dominos or whatever so we just decided to settle in here. In addition we have met a number of great people who also live here... very welcoming folk.

We're quite happy with both of our communities.

Aiming_4_55 02-26-2017 09:10 PM

We've lived in a city just outside of Los Angeles for close to 4 years. Many of the families from my kid's school has come and gone. We have 1 - 2 families we would visit with. A few nice friends from work, but just not the same and everyone is busy.

When in St Paul suburb, MN, we lived in a cul-da-sac for close to 10 years, kids would run in and out of the neighborhood homes and just hang out. Neighbors brought cookies or food as a welcome to the neighbor when we moved in. Family is 30 - 60 minutes away.

If things don't change in our condo or area, we might relocate after/at RE. The relocation would reduce our cost of living but not speed up RE.

Scuba 02-26-2017 09:12 PM

We moved from So CA to the NE for a few years a long time ago for w*rk reasons. While living there, we decided we wanted to live in a warmer climate and started researching other places. Made a trip back to the So CA city we had left and had a strong emotional reaction. For us, the people, the climate, the diversity of activities available to us, the scenery, and the "live and let live" attitude all make it feel like home. Plus the city we live in has a lot of community events that make it feel like a Midwestern town. Moved back here 13 years ago and hope to stay here forever. Only reason we might leave someday is economics. CA keeps voting in measures that increase taxes. If they keep passing them at the rate that has occurred over the last 2 years, we may decide to move to a state that values fiscal responsibility.

NYEXPAT 02-26-2017 09:12 PM

For me, home is where my slippers are. Currently, it is a seaside district of 100K in a city of 11 million.

street 02-26-2017 10:00 PM

We don't like populated areas so small town under 5000 people. Had to have small hospital and or clinic and stores of necessities. Other then that you have to make yourself part of the people and their community.

Today I went to cabin from the small town I live and it is about 20 miles away. Mostly gravel and seen 3 vehicles going and come back. I stopped and hiked for an hour along the way and not a sole around. I like to walk out the door and be in nature not fight crowds or people.

RobbieB 02-26-2017 10:17 PM

Sushi Bars - Gotta have 'em, the more the better.
BBQ places - Yup, on the list.
Hardware Stores - I go there as often as the grocery.
Mexican - Taco Bell ain't it
Chinese - The more the merrier
Indian - That stuff will light you up
Low cost public trans - For when you can't drive anymore or to get your car fixed.
Dog Parks - You know
Vets - To take care of your dog
Bike paths - So you can peddle w/o getting run down
BevMo- For high class booze and caviar fast.

I'll think up more stuff later I'm sure - :)

ABQ2015 02-27-2017 02:29 AM

Laid back and a slower pace. Not pretentious. Casual dress and an outdoorsy culture. More of a brew pub than a wine bar kind of town. A little gritty. A few people at the bus stop and they don't own a car. Different age groups, ethnic groups, and socioeconomic classes all shopping at the same grocery store. Live and let live attitude. An occasional protest sign. Not all chain stores and restaurants but mom and pop places too. Lots of Mexican, Thai, and Vietnamese restaurants but BBQ and home cooking would be good too. Neighborhoods where people take walks or walk their dog. Big blue sky, sunshine, and mountains.

brucethebroker 02-27-2017 04:02 AM

Laid back folks who aren't trying to impress anyone by living beyond means. Very walkable/bikeable. No further than 10-15 min. to excellent healthcare. No further than 30-40 min. to a "major" airport. Low cost of living, affordable housing prices, and low property taxes. And no brutal winters.

Friends are scattered all over the country, so no pressure there. Teenage grandkids are within easy flight distance.

EastWest Gal 02-27-2017 06:20 AM

When we moved here 18 years ago our across the street neighbors came and introduced themselves. They loaned me a small refrigerator until I could buy one. I bought a refrigerator and washer and dryer the first week. Over the years we visited, partied, helped each other with snow shoveling and household projects. We watched them retire (early) and become grandparents, and watched their house several winters while they wintered in Florida. Last year they moved a few miles away. [emoji853] We also have had great next door neighbors for about 10 years.

Another thing. Moving from Silicon Valley to anywhere feels a lot like settling down and coming home. Mostly, it's friends and neighbors and relationships like that.

Music Lover 02-27-2017 08:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jjquantz (Post 1844211)
DW and I have struggled with this during our entire 37+ years of marriage. We've always been very happy with each other, but we've never found a place that feels like home. I would love to hear others' thoughts.

Could it be that you've never stayed in one place long enough to make it feel like home?

My city feels like home because it's the only place I've ever lived. So, in my case it's fairly obvious. But, other than the obvious, another big factor is that all my friends and most of my family lives here. They are part of what home means to me other than the geographical location. Possibly those who move around a lot are missing that factor in their lives.

haha 02-27-2017 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brucethebroker (Post 1844360)
Laid back folks who aren't trying to impress anyone by living beyond means. Very walkable/bikeable. No further than 10-15 min. to excellent healthcare. No further than 30-40 min. to a "major" airport. Low cost of living, affordable housing prices, and low property taxes. And no brutal winters.

Friends are scattered all over the country, so no pressure there. Teenage grandkids are within easy flight distance.

This is a tall order. Have you found it?

I have everything I want in my home of about 50 years, although divorce and moving to a condo changed the exact surroundings. Many people operate more on abstractions than on evidence. I have found it easier to make friends in my central city condo, or in the nearby apartment that I had prior to buying here than I did in the smaller town on the far outskirts of the city. I think part of it depends on who you are, and what you are like at base.

My widowed brother met and married a widow he met living in his apartment building in suburban Ft Worth. They are still happy years on.

Ha


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