Screaming Kids in Restaurants...

[Midpack]

Had another dining experience ruined by screaming kids - two young hipster parents with an infant and a 3ish girl and 5ish boy. I could go on and on, but ultimately there’s nothing anyone can do about it because you can’t shame parents who allow their kids to misbehave in public in the first place. If the restaurant or other patrons intervene, they’re the bad guys in today’s PC world. If it’s an upscale restaurant they’ll intervene. But if it’s a casual place, your only choice is to grin and bear it and move as far as possible, the restaurant can’t choose their patrons.

And of course when the screaming kids family left, the servers had a mess to clean up on the table, chairs and floor.

[/rant]

Yes, first world problems...

 

[Fedup]

We have had a lot of this problem lately. As we’re getting older, we are having a much harder time with the screaming. It seems like some parents are in the hands off mode now when it comes to parenting.

Some restaurants we’ve completely eliminated from going because of this problem.

 

[SpartacusSchmartacus]

Guess that's the last time they'll see you at Chucky Cheese!

 

[Souschef]

Many years ago my mom sent me an article from a Miami paper about this problem. The author's last line was:"It's not it takes a village to raise a child, it's it takes a village to tell them to shut up"

 

[Badger]

If this is a problem before I receive my meal I tell the manager and leave. If my meal has already been served then I speak with the manager and request my meal be comped. If they don't provide a pleasant environment for dining then they won't have my money or patronage.


Cheers!

 

[Midpack]

Guess that's the last time they'll see you at Chucky Cheese!

Of course it wasn’t. It was a casual restaurant with full bar, that’s usually reasonable noise levels, but they don’t prohibit families. IMO blaming the restaurant for screaming kids when it’s an exception is unfair. That “solution” would eventually leave us only the choice of way upscale or those bland AYCE buffet places like Golden Corral crawling with seniors...

 

[Fedup]

When I was in France at a steak place, I did speak out loud in English to my husband in a conversation, hoping they didn’t understand me, that these were awful kids, parents should do better, when our kids were young, they never pulled anything close to this, etc.. sure enough, one father did manage to tell his son not to scream, kind of like shushing him. I don’t know if this belongs to the category of shaming the parents, but I can’t be fault for being an outspoken person. A lot of diners there were not pleased with the noise either.

 

[Jerry1]

We like going to Red Robin on occasion for a beer and burger. Generally, that place is a zoo. However, they have tables in a separate area I call the bar area (because the bar is there but they also have about ten booths). It is a much better environment. Also, as a retiree, I tend to eat out at late lunch, early dinner hours. That tends to lessen the risk of running into this problem.

Frankly, what annoys me more than the noise, based on the original post, is the mess that was left. How disrespectful to the workers at the restaurant to let their kids be pigs. I guess the disrespect of the patrons (the noise) and the workers (the mess), is one in the same. Shame on them.

Note, I’ve raised kids and have grand kids. They’re not perfect, but we did pretty good. I have a lot of sympathy when I see a parent trying to calm their kids down. It shows they recognize it as a imposition on others. No one can be expected to be 100% successful with a child but I give an A for effort.

 

[The Cosmic Avenger]

Of course it wasn’t. It was a casual restaurant with full bar, that’s usually reasonable noise levels, but they don’t prohibit families. IMO blaming the restaurant for screaming kids when it’s an exception is unfair. That “solution” would eventually leave us only the choice of way upscale or those bland AYCE buffet places like Golden Corral crawling with seniors...

Actually, I do blame the restaurant for allowing the experience of dozens of customers to be ruined instead of asking for (what I acknowledge is a significant) effort from just two. I mostly agree with Badger, although I wouldn't take quite as hard a line -- if the manager decides that s/he values the family's experience over mine, as obviously my presence isn't bothering other customers, I'm likely to mention this service issue on review platforms/sites. Of course, in a "family" restaurant I think it's reasonable to expect a very high level of noise and general discord from the children.

 

[FUEGO]

My youngest kid was loud as he11 at the dinner table last night. He wouldn't put down the sword or the sai and kept attacking one of our dinner guests. Halfway through the meal he calmed down and we had a nice conversation.

We ate at home of course because restaurants often prove inconvenient to us. And the food generally isn't that great vs what we make at home.

 

[Fedup]

Noise is different from high pitch screaming. Lately there seems to be a lot of high pitch screaming. Either that I’m getting older. But frankly, sometimes, I feel like screaming back and blame it on old age, hey I can’t help it that kind of thing.

 

[aja8888]

Family restaurants are for families. You have to live with that.

What we do is look for a table or booth ahead of time that is away from the action and put in a request for it, even of it means waiting a bit.

 

[Fedup]

My youngest kid was loud as he11 at the dinner table last night. He wouldn't put down the sword or the sai and kept attacking one of our dinner guests. Halfway through the meal he calmed down and we had a nice conversation.

We ate at home of course because restaurants often prove inconvenient to us. And the food generally isn't that great vs what we make at home.

This is one reason, we didn’t dine out as often when my youngest child was a youngen. While she rarely screamed or made fuss in public, it’s hard for her to sit waiting for tables and such, she’s inherited my hyper activity, so we just ate at home a lot. It’s too hard on my youngest child and I’m glad I noticed that and didn’t try to force it.

 

[Midpack]

^^ Fortunately many/most parents do teach their kids some manners and/or quickly intervene when their kids get out of line. Even last night with the screaming kids table, there were 3-4 other tables with young kids behaving MUCH better. Occasionally I have thanked parents after a restaurant meal where their kids were exceptionally well behaved, the last one appreciated our acknowledgment.

Years ago in Newport RI we had two kids running completely wild in a nice waterfront restaurant at the table next to us. I gave the parents some dirty looks, and the wife said “you don’t have kids do you,” and they both let their kids carry on including debris everywhere. They finished before us and after dinner the 6ish son and Dad were walking on the deck outside and they both came to the window right outside our table. The 6ish son flipped us the bird, and the Dad just chuckled.

There are just some thoughtless, selfish people who have no respect for others, and never will. I don’t waste my time with them - “never argue with a fool, onlookers might not be able to tell the difference.”

 

[marko]

Family restaurants are for families. You have to live with that.

True, but there's a lot of more formal places that a sensitive, considerate parent wouldn't think of taking a kid. The problem is that 'sensitive, considerate' is often no longer used in the same sentence as 'parent'.

Our experience is that many parents of young ones today couldn't give one **** about how their kids are impacting those around them. It's all about them. Worse are the ones who look at you with a "...isn't he cute!?" look and get offended when we act like we don't share their worship of the little devil.

If you're in a family restaurant, fine; you pays your money and takes your chances. But if I'm dropping $150 on dinner I don't want to be near it.

 

[marko]

When I was in France at a steak place, I did speak out loud in English to my husband in a conversation, hoping they didn’t understand me, that these were awful kids, parents should do better,

Having lived in Paris for years, I wonder if this was a French child or a tourist.

With very few exceptions, our experience with children in general in Europe is that they're an entirely different species than US kids as far as behaving in public, particularly in restaurants.

 

[CaliKid]

As long as the parents make an effort, and it's not a fancy restaurant, I am ok with it. We were all kids once and many of us were parents of young kids at some time. However, when parents make no effort it does bother us. Actually, it doesn't bother me as I can tune them out but it bothers my better half as she can not tune stuff out and fixates on it once she is aware of the annoyance.

 

[Amethyst]

Many are like that with their dogs, too! At least animals aren't allowed in most restaurants...yet.

T
Our experience is that many parents of young ones today couldn't give one **** about how their kids are impacting those around them. It's all about them. Worse are the ones who look at you with a "...isn't he cute!?" look and get offended when we act like we don't share their worship of the little devil.

I

 

[Midpack]

Our experience is that many parents of young ones today couldn't give one **** about how their kids are impacting those around them. It's all about them. Worse are the ones who look at you with a "...isn't he cute!?" look and get offended when we act like we don't share their worship of the little devil.

I may be wrong but I assume it’s usually not so much they don’t give a **** as the kids run wild at home all day every day, so they’re not even conscious of it when they’re in public.

 

[frayne]

Guess that's the last time they'll see you at Chucky Cheese!

 

[scrabbler1]

Actually, I do blame the restaurant for allowing the experience of dozens of customers to be ruined instead of asking for (what I acknowledge is a significant) effort from just two. I mostly agree with Badger, although I wouldn't take quite as hard a line -- if the manager decides that s/he values the family's experience over mine, as obviously my presence isn't bothering other customers, I'm likely to mention this service issue on review platforms/sites. Of course, in a "family" restaurant I think it's reasonable to expect a very high level of noise and general discord from the children.

I generally agree with this. The manager of the restaurant needs to be told that their failure to let the offending patrons know that they are harming other diners, and that those other diners are much less likely to return if nothing is done. I would surely mention this in the restaurant's website, if it has one, as there is always a question such as "How likely are you to dine at xxx again?" in the survey.

"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few." - Mr. Spock, in "Star Trek II, The Wrath of Khan"

In the various childfree websites I visit, the bad behavior of kids in restaurants and the parents who do nothing to control them is a frequent complaint. But once in a while, I also read about an eatery which has done something more proactive such as banning kids under a certain age, or posting a warning that misbehaving kids will be asked to be removed by their parents. These actions are often met with lots of negative reactions by parents of small kids, but the owners of these places then report an increase in business because of the many other diners who begin eating there without fear of their dining experiences being ruined. This is a trend I hope increases over time.

 

[Chuckanut]

Restaurant noise is one issue, screaming badly behaved kids and their parents are another issue.

Modern restaurant design seems to encourage noise to echo about the room. I recently wrote a review (at the restaurant's request) and noted that while I enjoyed the food the noise level was so high that I could hear the conversation of people 10 to 15 feet away. And, I had to raise my voice for my dining companion to hear me. I was polite, but made it quite clear I would not be coming back. Will it help? Who knows?

In any event this modern design (concrete floors, equipment out in the open, no drapes or wall coverings to absorb sound) only makes screaming kids and their parents all the more offensive.

Don't get me started on pets in restaurants.

 

[NYEXPAT]

I have had young children for as long as I can remember and I find it important to eat out as a family. We always take our "nanny" and a few little toys with us and rarely have a problem. In my experience, children are good in restaurants up till 8 mos, from 8 mos till 5 years a nanny is required.

 

[bigcmagor]

We found that having an unruly child skip the meal and hang out in the car a few times seemed to encourage better behavior going forward. With three kids, this lesson never took more than two events to drive the point home. They knew exactly what was going to happen if they didn't listen and they decided they would prefer to eat.


When in restaurants where parents don't share this philosophy, we just leave. If enough patrons follow suit, management will decide it's best to deal with it.

 

[braumeister]