Request for Beneficiary Information

[healthyandfun]

How long would you wait to receive the pertinent information to make a minor child the beneficiary of an IRA before moving on? I had a much loved relative die quite a few years ago and leave behind a spouse and one child. I asked for the information to make the surviving spouse the custodian for the child in case of my death. They live a couple states away and I do not see them often, but have a good relationship with both. I verified that the message was received and I know of nothing going on in their lives that would keep them from providing the information. Thanks in advance.

 

[Rianne]

It's my understanding, all you need is their legal name and birthday. We have beneficiaries on our tIRA and that's all you need.

 

[Aerides]

How long would you wait to receive the pertinent information to make a minor child the beneficiary of an IRA before moving on? .....I verified that the message was received and I know of nothing going on in their lives that would keep them from providing the information. Thanks in advance.

More info needed:

Did you have a discussion with these folks or is this just "I sent them an email and haven't heard back."

What info are you asking for? If it includes SSN or anything more in the PII world, I'd be hesitant to email that back.

Either way a casual "hey just wanted to follow up, if you'd rather I find a different beneficiary that's ok too!" or something, can't hurt.

 

[GrayHare]

+1

and put a date, "I need that information by the end of the month."

 

[healthyandfun]

Thanks for those quick replies. I do not have the exact information needed for both. I sent a letter by US mail four months ago that explained my intentions and asked for the information. I didn’t hear anything so I followed it up with an email two months ago. I got a reply that it would be forthcoming. I have international travel shortly and wanted it in place before I go.

 

[Spock]

"gimme the info requested or I'm naming my dog as custodian of your child's IRA"

 

[kaneohe]

Perhaps a phone call would be a more direct way to communicate your need
and to gauge the response.

 

[LimaPop]

I’ve been able to do it with just a name and address....

 

[jpeter1093]

How long would you wait to receive the pertinent information to make a minor child the beneficiary of an IRA before moving on? I had a much loved relative die quite a few years ago and leave behind a spouse and one child. I asked for the information to make the surviving spouse the custodian for the child in case of my death. They live a couple states away and I do not see them often, but have a good relationship with both. I verified that the message was received and I know of nothing going on in their lives that would keep them from providing the information. Thanks in advance.

I don't understand your relationship. Your deceased relative had a spouse and a child. And upon YOUR death, the spouse becomes the custodian of the child? Isn't the spouse ALREADY the child's custodian? After all, it was the spouse's partner that died. Confused..

 

[kaneohe]

I don't understand your relationship. Your deceased relative had a spouse and a child. And upon YOUR death, the spouse becomes the custodian of the child? Isn't the spouse ALREADY the child's custodian? After all, it was the spouse's partner that died. Confused..

Perhaps OP meant custodian for the IRA, not the child. Not necessarily the same.

 

[healthyandfun]

Sorry that wasn’t clear. I am trying to leave the account to the child. There must be a custodian for the child listed on the beneficiary form. Their surviving parent must be the custodian of the account per the IRA company instructions. I want to make sure I fill it out following their instructions so there are no problems after I am dead and gone. I have requested from the parent the information I need. First four months ago by letter and then two months ago by email. It has not been forthcoming and I am becoming impatient.

 

[Gill]

Their surviving parent must be the custodian of the account per the IRA company instructions.

I would find a different custodian for the IRA. There is no legal requirement that the parent be custodian for the child. Name someone else as custodian if you wish.
Gill

 

[Aerides]

So, if this isn't a family you are close enough to have had made a call or done in person, it seems a bit odd to me.

It might seem just practical and clinical and paperwork, but this is a surviving spouse - a widow or widower, young enough to have a minor child of someone whom you described as "much loved relative." You don't seem to have a separate established relationship with this bereaved family (a good one, yes, but clearly not a particularly close and familiar one).

If I were this widow/widower, busy trying to raise my child as a single parent, and got a letter out of the blue ("hi please provide this info so I can put your kid on my insurance"....) vs a personal call I would find it odd. Having read more, in your shoes I'd let this go, if you haven't heard back after your trip then look for another beneficiary.

 

[healthyandfun]

I would find a different custodian for the IRA. There is no legal requirement that the parent be custodian for the child. Name someone else as custodian if you wish.
Gill

I feel like I am in a real pickle here. The child and the parent both go by nicknames. I’m not entirely sure of the first, middle, and last name of both of them or the exact spelling. They are very unusual names. They do not have any contact with my side of the family so no help there to get it correct. I don’t know any relatives on the parents side. Switching accounts might work for someone else’s situation, but I still need the exact name of the child to do a beneficiary form. The IRA company said I must have the names that are their legal names and right now I do not have that for either one. I know this child would benefit greatly from these funds and am frustrated that the parent has not stepped up to the plate.

 

[healthyandfun]

So, if this isn't a family you are close enough to have had made a call or done in person, it seems a bit odd to me.

It might seem just practical and clinical and paperwork, but this is a surviving spouse - a widow or widower, young enough to have a minor child of someone whom you described as "much loved relative." You don't seem to have a separate established relationship with this bereaved family (a good one, yes, but clearly not a particularly close and familiar one).

If I were this widow/widower, busy trying to raise my child as a single parent, and got a letter out of the blue ("hi please provide this info so I can put your kid on my insurance"....) vs a personal call I would find it odd. Having read more, in your shoes I'd let this go, if you haven't heard back after your trip then look for another beneficiary.

Yes, it is an unusual relationship. Family relationships can be very messy sometimes. I have visited them three times since the death of my relative. I stayed with them for several days earlier this year in February and all went well as always. Both were welcoming, happy to see me, and we all cried when I left. I have sent presents at Christmas time before and since the death of my relative and received acknowledgement by mail each time. We have always communicated through emails or US mail. We did exchange phone numbers prior to my trip in February, but never needed to use them. I sent a letter to request the information for security reasons.

 

[gwraigty]

Since you're in a time crunch, it appears as though you'll have to let it go for now. If you feel a need to have someone named as beneficiary before your trip, pick someone else. You can always change the beneficiary after your trip, if you can get the parent to respond eventually.

I can understand not wanting to send certain confidential info in writing, especially for a minor child. But then a phone call could take care of the whole thing.

 

[FIREchief]

Tough situation. healthyandfun is trying to do the right thing, but apparently dealing with a person who either doesn't care much about their own child's future or just doesn't understand what the OP is trying to do to help. I'm not sure how I would address this. Certainly a phone call would be appropriate, but then again with some people it might take things in the wrong direction. Perhaps the surviving spouse is insulted that OP isn't naming him/her the beneficiary?

 

[healthyandfun]

Thanks to all who chimed in on this post. Maintaining family relationships from a long distance away is a challenge. My deceased relative was not a big communicator as an adult either before or after marriage. No calls, infrequent emails. Since it was near where we were born and I live a great distance away, I always visited them. Things went well each time. I have good feelings about the surviving spouse and they are a wonderful parent. If I lived nearer and visited more frequently, I am sure we would be closer. For now, I am going to leave the beneficiary as it is and hope that the information I need comes along soon. Thanks !