Cost of Children to age 21

Rianne

Rianne

Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
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We did not have children and not by choice. I realize children are a blessing (most of the time) and you can't put a $$ figure on the joy of parenthood. Many FIRE websites caution the cost of HC in later years, something like $250K or more. But what did children cost in early years, before FI?


Some family members look at us (I'm sure they think) "they didn't have kids, no wonder they FIRE." That might be true.
 
It would take me a while to actually try to come up with a number.
Impact on income/budget:
*Both DH and I decreased work hours to 32 hours/4 days per week to help decrease childcare expenses for about 8 years total.
*Food/clothing/medical/etc for two more family members
*School/extra curricular costs: sports, music, dance, (uniforms, travel, etc), plus college help after HS graduation
*increased car insurance when age 16, "family plan" phones
All of these were choices we made. Sometimes had to say no when the budget didn't allow, but that's life!
 
There's no doubt that having kids (even just one) can make reaching FIRE much more difficult for the average couple. The latest numbers I've seen are $233k to raise a child through the age of 17... and that's just for the basic essentials. If you throw in more "deluxe, upper-middle class" costs like early childhood care, college savings, music and sports lessons, family vacations, electronics and gaming, etc., then the cost soars to around $750k. I'm certain I could not have fired in my late 40s if I'd had kids. I simply couldn't have socked away the large amounts of salary and bonus every year during my prime earning years, so at the very least it would have delayed my FIRE substantially.

Here's a funny, tongue-in-cheek quote I found while looking for the numbers mentioned above. It's from an article in the WSJ from 2009.
When you add it all up, it’s not uncommon for a single child to cost a normal, middle-class family something like $1.1 million, from birth through the undergrad years. To get some perspective, the median price of a home in 2008 was $180,100. It is commonly said that buying a house is the biggest purchase most Americans will ever make. Having a baby is like buying six houses. Except that they don’t increase in value, you can’t sell them and after 16 years they’ll probably say they hate you.
Click to expand...
 
Sojourner said:
There's no doubt that having kids (even just one) can make reaching FIRE much more difficult for the average couple. The latest numbers I've seen are $233k to raise a child through the age of 17... and that's just for the basic essentials. If you throw in more "deluxe, upper-middle class" costs like early childhood care, college savings, music and sports lessons, family vacations, electronics and gaming, etc., then the cost soars to around $750k. I'm certain I could not have fired in my late 40s if I'd had kids. I simply couldn't have socked away the large amounts of salary and bonus every year during my prime earning years, so at the very least it would have delayed my FIRE substantially.

Here's a funny, tongue-in-cheek quote I found while looking for the numbers mentioned above. It's from an article in the WSJ from 2009.
Click to expand...

I'm pretty sure if we had kids, there would have been no FIRE at 40 years old for me. Yes, I have had people make comments to that fact, but that's OK...life is about choices.
 
The cost of a child can vary 10x or more over, depending on the family's resources and attitudes. But imo it is more likely to be open to the top than the lower limit.

Ha
 
We’re at 4 years/2 kids

So far cost has been
$100k lost wages
$120k child care/help
$32k medical costs

I don’t even count swim lessons, increased car purchase, food, vacations, vacation days used... chump change compared to monthly child care bills that won’t meaningfully reduce until 4 more years and a move to change school districts.
 
We raised 2 kids. I left my job before the first one was born and was a stay at home mom. We planned it this way so we were already living on just DHs income.

We had no child care costs. We used cloth diapers and made our own baby food. My sister had 2 boys and we had 2 boys so I had a lot of hand me down clothes. We started a few 1/2 days of preschool around age 3 but that was not expensive at all.

They attended neighborhood schools in the public school system. One of our sons played sports and took drum lessons from age 8 to 14. I don't remember any of these being a large expense and it was certainly worthwhile. Both kids had braces and that was a big expense for us.

We had the normal medical costs plus an occasional broken bone. One of our sons had asthma and allergies and had tests and shots and took a couple of prescription meds. DHs insurance at the time was inexpensive and covered these costs well.

We didn't do summer camps but we did get them swimming lessons at the local community center and they also tried golf lessons. None of these were expensive.

When they got to driving age the cost of adding a teenager to the car insurance was a hit to the budget. That one surprised me! Then college was also a huge expense. In-state tuition for 4 years was around $60,000 per kid (2002-2009 prices). DHs parents had established 529s which provided around $20,000 for each of our sons.

I never looked at my years as a SAHM as having lost the wages. But now I see the effect of being out of the workplace for 22 years in my Social Security benefit. It will be a nice bit of extra income but nowhere near what it would have been with those additional 22 years. But I would not trade my time as a SAHM for SS money.

All this has "paid off" for us as we now have a 3 month old GRANDSON!
 
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I have two daughters and have computed their cost at...

priceless :smitten:
 
If we had a spouse staying at home costs would be several multiples more due to lost income.

We plan to move to a more expensive area with good public school when both kids can attend (roughly break even on cost housing vs private)

If we moved further out for cheaper housing we would be adding +1 hour each to our round trip commute and SO said she would drop to part time (would cost more than private school).


I find if you don’t earn much, kids don’t cost much because the trade off isn’t significant (eg. stay at home vs earn $20k/yr?). If you earn a lot, maximizing income often results in what appears to be large costs (eg. $30k private school vs $100k income change) but again, maximizes income.
 
Stayed home for 9 years. Had 3 boys so handed down clothes when they were little. We were frugal. Once in school sports, etc were reasonabl. More expensive as teens of course. Medical costs as one child had asthma. We supplied a old car for them to drive and usually 2 had to share it. My dad used to say “ Do you want kids or money because you cannot have both.”
 
I am almost 4years into parenting...

The first bill is some supplies like cribs, dressers, stroller, clothes, bottles, toys and a hole slew of other things like new clothes for Mrs. and the hosptial won't let you leave without a car seat.

Then the second is the delivery bill (for us $5k and 6k for babies and momma) and the change to health insurance to 'Family'.
If you don't have the space an upgraded or larger vehicle might be in the question. Sometimes the smaller cars don't hold the car seats well.
By the time baby is 1 you've invested a lot into odds n ends like baby medicine and things to make dealing with baby easier.

If you need daycare like we do, it's another 10k a year per kid. So here we are easily 40k into this in just the first year of 2 kids lives.


20k*21years = $420,000 per kid. Granted daycare costs decrease, you dont have birthing and labor costs every year, but tax breaks go away and medical bills increase, food bill increases, clothing and discretionary budget increases and then saving for college. Maybe it's not worth it but having someone help me age into old years is priceless.

They are also a ton of work, outside the cost.:cool::cool:


Something I willfully signed up for.
 
pj.mask said:
If we had a spouse staying at home costs would be several multiples more due to lost income.

We plan to move to a more expensive area with good public school when both kids can attend (roughly break even on cost housing vs private)

If we moved further out for cheaper housing we would be adding +1 hour each to our round trip commute and SO said she would drop to part time (would cost more than private school).


I find if you don’t earn much, kids don’t cost much because the trade off isn’t significant (eg. stay at home vs earn $20k/yr?). If you earn a lot, maximizing income often results in what appears to be large costs (eg. $30k private school vs $100k income change) but again, maximizes income.
Click to expand...


+1 DW income will easily cover the cost of raising 2 kids at 10yr mark. Mine covers everything else plus investing. In 13 years, FI baby!
 
Just as every adult has a different level required to live on, so it is with raising kids. Plenty of families making $30-40k a year raising 3 kids and doing just fine because they live just like everyone else they know.

Clothing and toys are bought at rummage sales, the minivan cost $3-5k used, the house is small, you share a room with your sibling and you think its normal. Vacations are camping or a waterpark. Child care is a neighbor, family or you work at the daycare so the kids get in free.

It can cost a fortune but it doesn't have to. I hear all my friends tell me how they "HAVE TO HAVE" because else their child could die.. I just shake my head as there are only a few "HAVE TO".. like yes you need a new car seat as the law changes constantly... but you didn't have to have at least 90% of the things you put on your baby registry, they are nice to haves, they will make your life easier (maybe or maybe they are just hype).. and you can usually tell because come baby 2/3/4.. all of a sudden that list of "HAVE TO" gets cut by 2/3rds.
 
I see my nieces and nephews with the newest iphone, ipads, laptops...and one DN has lost multiple phones, always needs a new one 6, 7, 8 whatever version takes better pics. Don't get me going on clothes, movies, cars, out to eat...then there's college. Not just any college, has to be ranked. First DN just had a $30K wedding, $6K honeymoon. Now they have an apartment and their own bills. It is a shock to their system. All of a sudden they'll shop at Aldi LOL. They'd never go there before.

I'm watching all this from the sidelines and thinking how are they ever going to make it in the real world? I have 5 nieces and nephews. I'm so curious about the jobs they'll get and the lifestyle they'll lead.
 
My kids never had all the latest and greatest. That’s just wasteful. Nothing to look forward to.
 
karen1972 said:
90% of the things you put on your baby registry, they are nice to haves, they will make your life easier (maybe or maybe they are just hype).. and you can usually tell because come baby 2/3/4.. all of a sudden that list of "HAVE TO" gets cut by 2/3rds.
Click to expand...
Truth. We don't even use our double stroller, although at the time DW HAD to have it for that one trip to the zoo that one time. Thankfully I'm certain we can sell that or lend it out to someone who can use it.

Our kids prefer cramming together in the single stroller (for now)...go figure.:facepalm:
 
tb001 said:
This is a great resource, complete with actual data by age of children and income level. I keep seeing people posting figures that are much lower, but I don't believe they are taking all of the real & hidden expenses and potential lost income into account.

https://www.cnpp.usda.gov/sites/default/files/crc2015_March2017_0.pdf
Click to expand...

+1
I do not track expenses closely, but these #'s seem to be accurate for me living in a HCOL area in a LCOL country. The cost of having one child in my 50's and one in my 60's will be almost completely offset by the increase in Social Security we will/have been receiving! I May get nicked a bit for college costs if things don't pan out, but there is a plan forming in the back of my head for that.
 
The cost of having one child in my 50's and one in my 60's will be almost completely offset by the increase in Social Security we will/have been receiving! I May get nicked a bit for college costs if things don't pan out, but there is a plan forming in the back of my head for that.[/QUOTE]
 
I'm not sure the early years are more, or less expensive than the teen years. If you count up the costs for going to public school alone (free right ?) after diapers, and daycare, the amount is staggering between shoes, fashionable clothes, eyeglasses, school lunch programs, school supplies, pay to play sports, musical instruments, class fees, countless trips to other schools to watch performances, scouts, dances, fundraisers, doctors visits.

When they get into high school, you have cars, car insurance, much more food, prom/homecomings, (Dad, can I borrow $20), water/sewer/trash, gasoline, college saving, class trips, and countless other unseen expenses.
 
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My kids were not expensive at all until about age 12. The sports they played were non-competitive and run by a local youth center so cheap. Fashionable clothes were not a concern until age 12 when it becomes important to the kids. We never had daycare costs. Medical care was probably the most expensive.
 
Like many here, I too reduced my working hours (and salary) until they were almost ready for college. I never considered what that would do to my pension and Social Security, but I'm certainly feeling it now. Yikes! That said, I'd do it again. They are wonderful humans, in spite of all our foibles.
 
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