Exactly. That's how I feel. I knew even before the divorce that I'd never "fall in love" again (the last time was at the age of 40, with my ex, and my love only deepened during those nearly two decades). Now, all the romantic drivers are gone, and procreation and raising a family were never among them.
Yeah, for me, the motivation just isn't there. Part of that is biology: my hormonal push is down, as is their sexual attractiveness. Both of those have to be there, to motivate the work involved in searching, pursuing, getting, and maintaining a relationship. I still occasionally feel a little of that old romantic-sexual pull with women who are much younger. But I'm not going to chase them -- it's too much work, the transactional nature of the relationship is too obvious, and it's embarrassing.
Anyhow, the romantic-sexual pull just isn't there anymore, with women in my age range. I feel friendly towards them -- I've always liked women as people, and I have plenty of friendly female relationships -- but the romantic-sexual pull just doesn't happen anymore. I assume women feel the same about me, and that's fine. It's actually a relief to have that off the table.
One thing I'll add, though, is that it's easy enough to say being single is great when one is in good health and things are going well. Part of being in a couple is facing the world as a team and being there for each other when the going gets rough. There's great value in that.
Yes, it's good to have the emotional support of a wife when you're in declining health. You can get that from family and friends, though, and from church involvement if you're into that. And if worse comes to worse, you can always hire a cute home health nurse and turn your life into a Benny Hill skit. (Not meaning to be insensitive here. I hope you're not in the position you're alluding to.)
Unfortunately, I've known plenty of men who were divorced by their wives after they became ill in mid-life. Spouses do not necessarily stick with you, when the going gets tough. I'm sure men leave their wives sometimes in this situation, too, but women initiate divorce much more often than men do, so I think it's the men who are more often left holding the colostomy bag.
I think it's another reason older single women aren't interested in relationships: they don't want to end up being the caretaker to an ailing man. Women are blessed with longer life expectancies, and they also tend to pair up with men who are older than they are. For example, a 60 year old woman might be looking at a 65 year old guy, thinking, "Do I want to get involved with someone who I might have to end up being a nursemaid to in the next decade? Do I want to end up feeding this guy oatmeal and wiping his butt?" Naturally, that dims their romantic drive a bit, lol. Many women have already spent a good chunk of their lives taking care of other people -- their children, mostly, but also, in their minds anyhow, their ex-husbands, and so they don't relish the idea of doing more of that in their later years. I don't blame them.
It can go the other way, too, of course. My brother is in that situation now. His wife, a fine person, has been chronically ill for at least 5 years and is getting worse -- diabetes, advanced liver problems, gout, fatigue, muscle aches. She can't work, has no energy, and often can't even walk. This puts a lot of strain on my brother, who has to carry a full load plus half of hers. He gets down about it, understandably. There is certainly something noble about what he is doing -- the self-sacrifice involved in caretaking for someone he loves, as she struggles with chronic illness. But it's a hard road, a prolonged struggle, and not something I would want to sign up for.
