I May Have Lost My Mind

[Dreamer]

Always good to hear from unclemick - one of my FIRE heroes.

+1

 

[2017ish]

OP,

We definitely understand.

Traveling in 2020 and 2021 was amazing (once a destination opened to travelers so that we could arrive). Prices were low, no crowds at all, and everyone was thrilled to see us when we arrived. Now, it is pricier, MUCH more crowded, and the travel vendors are merely happy to see us....

BUT, now is still a very good time to travel. Why? The Chinese are still mostly at home. International travel is going to get even more crowded and expensive when those folks come back out to play. Plus, for most of us, this is the best shape that we are ever henceforth going to be in for many types of travel.

From what we've seen this year and last, it isn't the uber-wealthy driving up the costs. It is the upper middle class and the so-called "mass affluent" (if those two are actually different). Unless there is another disease that scares people into staying home (or, gets governments to compel people to stay home), I don't think it is going to appreciably change.

Just my two cents, take them or leave them as you please.

 

[lawman]

I think you are rationalizing..Truth is it's hard to turn a saver into a spender..

Yo can fly first class or your kids will.

 

[Koolau]

I think you are rationalizing..Truth is it's hard to turn a saver into a spender..

Yo can fly first class or your kids will.

Heh, heh, nope! I'm gonna give it away instead!

 

[dmpi]

You think your money doesn't buy enough now....just wait until after you're gone. Someone else will be spending the money like a madman.

 

[d.davis]

Traveled to Ireland in 2018 with some close friends. Awesome 3 wks. Had NZ and Australia on the calendar for 2020 with same couple when covid torpedoed those plans. The wife of our friends passed due to cancer last year.
The probability is, since you're a member of this group, you are not a reckless spender and you're going to run out of life on this planet before you run out of money....
Go. Travel. Do what you want to do.

Sent from my moto g power using Early Retirement Forum mobile app

 

[cyber888]

I don't know what your budget is, but you can vacation in the off-season.
But you should travel and enjoy life.

My spouse and I have not been spending money for the last three or four years. In fact, total expenses combined for the last three years were a bit less than our total spending just in 2018.

Now, please take it easy on me. I know this is all a bit ludicrous.

 

[marko]

My grandfather was very, very wealthy. In his early life he was quite the bon-vivant but in his old age became a cranky old man and needlessly miserly to the point of obsession with a dash of cruelty thrown in. There was no need for him to deprive himself. None!

He's the richest man in the cemetery. His heirs thank him.

 

[Dash man]

I agree with most everything that has been said. I’d like to add that my spending on things also helps contribute to people having jobs. Corporate bigwigs will find a way to get theirs no matter what, but if I can help a few folks keep their jobs, then it’s worth it.

 

[marko]

I agree with most everything that has been said. I’d like to add that my spending on things also helps contribute to people having jobs. Corporate bigwigs will find a way to get theirs no matter what, but if I can help a few folks keep their jobs, then it’s worth it.

A great sentiment but right now the problem seems to be too many jobs and too few willing to take them.

Which, I suspect, is at is the heart of finding good, competent help.

(Actually thought I was replying to the "Incompetent Worker" thread).

 

[dingo]

I face the same dilemma to a degree. I am frugal and can not make myself pay the exorbitant prices even though I could afford it. It could be a curse or a blessing, but I can’t change that part of my life.

I cut back on the number of trips and find alternative locations that in the end are just as enjoyable. I work harder at getting deals that are cheaper than the normal costs for locations that I want to visit. Even with that, it is still much higher than even a year ago.

 

[ivinsfan]

The pro travel group is always very noisy...


If you REALLY wanted to travel somewhere, I suspect you would. We've done all kinds of traveling... plane, car, domestic, international. At the moment we are settled in at our farm and have a park trailer at a premier lake a couple hours North of here.



Some winters we snowbird and some winters we don't. If you don't feel travel is a good value or a good experience that's fine.



Money is just one part of travel, 20 years ago we loved Zion NP and the surrounding area. Today it's just a huge travel destination with long lines of people everywhere, for us ATM the enjoyment just isn't there.



Having said that if you notice the "fear" of spending is creeping into other areas, take a look at what might be bothering you.

 

[ivinsfan]

You think your money doesn't buy enough now....just wait until after you're gone. Someone else will be spending the money like a madman.

This is always the stock answer people give. We raised a couple of great daughters and I have every confidence they will be good stewards of their eventual inheritance.

 

[Chuckanut]

It’s possible to spend more and not be profligate. While I use the freebees to save money, I often use the savings to upgrade later in the trip. On the road trip where I had 40% free rooms, I used the savings and a bit more to upgrade my paid rooms to a larger room with a sitting area.

The test, IMO, is to add meaningful value to the experience. Spending more for the sake of spending more does not add value, other than bragging or complaining rights if one values such things. I spend more for more space on airline seats and hotel rooms, to save my energy for further adventures, and to have an experience that adds to the uniqueness of the travel.

 

[MarieIG]

I would refer you to one of your prior threads regarding your concern as to spending money on leisure activities.

https://www.early-retirement.org/fo...ive-hobby-even-if-i-can-afford-it-116351.html

 

[Lsbcal]

....

Now, please take it easy on me. I know this is all a bit ludicrous.

Not going to be easy on you.

You are thinking and acting irrationally. You know the answers but are looking for some reasons to act in opposite ways.

 

[marko]

This is always the stock answer people give. We raised a couple of great daughters and I have every confidence they will be good stewards of their eventual inheritance.

Not my experience! When my aforementioned grandfather passed, a few heirs went nuts. "Spending money like a house afire" quoted another heir.

It was all "gravy money" for them and they didn't hold back!

 

[UpQuark]

... we've both come to feel like today's inflation is mostly because of excessive corporate profit motives and less because of supply chain issues. That idea gives us a tiny bit of satisfaction in not spending money. We feel like we're not feeding the greed machine. ....

I feel the same way. I retired last year and hoped to travel full time for a few years, but the 'pet-friendly' hotel chain I had intended to use first increased the pet fee 10%, but that was okay and reasonable, but then they increased it another 250+% and I felt that was pure greed.

So rather than spend an extra $3k a year on the pet fee, I stopped traveling and bought a little condo in an area that is awesome and has enough to see for a few years (especially at my aging energy rate), and is a perfect place to grow old (gated community with tons of clubs and activities, I learned this week how to use a table saw, which was scary but fun).

 

[Chuckanut]

I feel the same way. I retired last year and hoped to travel full time for a few years, but the 'pet-friendly' hotel chain I had intended to use first increased the pet fee 10%, but that was okay and reasonable, but then they increased it another 250+% and I felt that was pure greed.

So rather than spend an extra $3k a year on the pet fee, I stopped traveling and bought a little condo in an area that is awesome and has enough to see for a few years (especially at my aging energy rate), and is a perfect place to grow old (gated community with tons of clubs and activities, I learned this week how to use a table saw, which was scary but fun).

Smart idea.

 

[ivinsfan]

Not my experience! When my aforementioned grandfather passed, a few heirs went nuts. "Spending money like a house afire" quoted another heir.

It was all "gravy money" for them and they didn't hold back!

Well you don't know my family and I don't know yours...I still think the you blow it so your family doesn't is a pointless comment

 

[mystang52]

Don't be the person lying in a hospital bed and wishing they had done something they could have, but didn't.

Unless there is deflation, prices will not go down. Also waiting may become never if you have a health issue. Go now!

Travel is one of those things where there are lots and lots of opportunities to economize.

I didn't read all replies. If you can afford to take a vacation, m'gosh JUST DO IT. There so many places to visit, and all with various budgets that you'd be comfortable with, you should do so while you still can. Find a location and type of vacation you'd enjoy, and book it. You won't regret it.

 

[marko]

Well you don't know my family and I don't know yours...I still think the you blow it so your family doesn't is a pointless comment

Not advocating for that. As I mentioned in post #33 my wealthy grandfather lived like a miser and needlessly deprived himself. He certainly wasn't saving it for us and instead had adopted a mentality similar to the OP.

It was quite sad and unnecessary. But his resources were so extensive that he could never "blow it so that we don't" if he lived 200 years. OP is talking about depriving himself because he can't bear to part with his money. My personal experience is that all that "saved" money has the potential to someday be wasted by others so why not enjoy a bit of it yourself.

All of it? Not if you want to leave a legacy -- that's up to you--but you shouldn't go without either.

Whether its $100 or $20 million, " if you don't spend it someone else will" is just basic math.

 

[livingalmostlarge]

Have you ever read the station by Robert Hastings? If not go do so. Life is about the journey. You never reach the station it constantly is a moving target.

Recently I've stressed about saving at a lower level than I normally did or have. DH switched jobs and he and I didn't want to scale back our lifestyle. So we scaled back our savings. It's not terrible it's still a lot and we are comfortable. But I questioned if I shouldn't scale back more to save more?

Then last month DH had a pretty serious accident. One that could have killed him, left him paralyzed or any number of things. We got really lucky. He's a 45 year old guy super healthy and fit who got really unlucky.

It happened and I realized I could have been a young widow and did we enjoy our life as much as possible? The answer was yes we have been and no I am not scaling back. In face I spent more.

Life waits for no one. Besides the station, that iron man quote form end game that all the money in the world never bought another moment of time. Made me realize I only have finite amount of time with DH, the kids.

Today my DK 2 finished elementary school. My time with them at home is coming faster than I expected. I cried watching their parade.

So yeah I could save more. But instead there are more important things I value. As I write this I bought a ticket to visit my parents today and am typing this on my phone with Airplane wifi. I had a flight with miles that got delayed indefinitely. I decided forget. Hopped online and bought a ticket and we were going to wait to be rebooked.

Was it insane? Maybe. But I am pissed at delta. I am also visiting my parents again in August. Again I could save the airfare and I was just there in May, Feb, and December and November. But my dad is in the end game. This is it. I don't see him now with the kids there will be no opportunity to see him again after he passes.

So I won't say travel because some people hate traveling..but I will say spend your money thoughtfully and on things you value. To me its people.

By the way my in laws? My husband was in the ICU for almost a week and they didn't come to see him. They didn't want to spend their millions and buy a plane ticket at the last minute. I called and texted them. His brother showed up the next day to help me with the kids. He had just quit his job and packed up at 9 pm on a Thurs night and was with me at 3 pm the next day. Yes he stayed the weekend. It was mother's day weekend this year.

It would have been an awful mother's day to have lost my husband. So you tell me? Under what circumstances does a parent not hop on the next flight or start driving to see your child if their spouse says they are in the ICU? Money? How poor do you need to be to not come? And nope they are poor not by a long shot. Just they value money more than their son.

My mil texted me and said the Tesla x had a problem they could t drive down. They bought it cash in 2019 new. They have a pension and paid for house. then she texted me it was fixed and wanted to drive down the next weekend.

My dh said tell them no. So I did. Think about that

 

[Al18]

Living almost large,
Thanks for sharing your story. Glad your husband made it thru this ordeal. Deplorable response from your in-laws - too bad you can’t divorce them. It just reinforces the idea that tomorrow isn’t guaranteed - live your life in the moment.

 

[marko]

Living almost large,
Thanks for sharing your story. Glad your husband made it thru this ordeal. Deplorable response from your in-laws - too bad you can’t divorce them. It just reinforces the idea that tomorrow isn’t guaranteed - live your life in the moment.

I've posted this a few times here over the years: my brother was an elite level athlete, even at the age of 62. He suffered a massive stroke that has left him seriously disabled. His life changed in an instant. Almost unimaginable for someone in his physical shape.

On the plus, before his injury, he had never deprived himself of much. He traveled extensively, skied all over the world, dined at the best restaurants. While he "died" in a way, he has those memories and there is never a "gee, I wish I had done XYZ".

You just never know.