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Honestly I can see your point of view as well as the view of others. I am not saying one is 100% right or wrong because life is not so black and white sometimes. The other thing which Kristi said is she did not ask if he had an open marriage, until after the deed was done. She said she did not...

That makes sense. He told her he does not want anyone to find out and wants to stay married. On the surface (to most people who don't know him) he has the perfect family - adorable kids, good job, not wealthy, but does pretty well. I would never tell anyone. I don't count this forum as the...

Thank you. She helped me with a lot of serious issues I had unrelated to all this when we were a lot younger. This is the only thing she's ever done wrong of this magnitude in life. So I wanted to help her when she asked. I can't. Nothing I can do to help. We all love each other as friends...

The whole point was they were friends 20 yrs before any fling happened. They had a lot of unique friend/group experience (nothing to do with sex). So what I'm getting here from most posters is that it is impossible for them to be friends after the fling. If they had not had it, they'd still be...

Kristi does go online a lot. However she has stopped going on FB for now.

The wife does not go online. That is who I was referring to. Kristi does go online.

I would disagree that it's "delight" as you mentioned, because what I'm feeling is stress about it, as I was with the different situation with my niece at the time I posted -that has all been resolved now, in part thanks to advice I got here. I tend to sometimes stress about things too much...

Yes exactly, I am conflicted on this. I go back and forth. But now I will stay out of it and tell her I can't give her an opinion, it's up to her what to do.

It's the first place I post on a forum like this if I want advice, if I can't tell anyone in "real life" so to speak. I have friends I speak to in real life but I did not want to get them involved in this not even by telling them. Even if she had not said keep it a secret, I still would not...

Thanks for your advice. I will tell her I don't want to be involved and to leave me out of it. To be totally honest I feel sorry for them both and I am wondering what will happen. But it was their choice. I will keep my distance from them. After reading the posts on here it has made me...

Not that it matters, but I changed a few minor details of the story on here, so it would not be easily identifiable if someone I knew were to happen to read it. That's unlikely but I get that it could happen.

I did promise her I would not tell anyone, hence my post here. It is good to get all the great feedback from this forum, and I appreciate everyone's replies, since I can't ask any of my friends.

LOL

She could be....never know. Although, chances are slim to none. She hates going online, hates computers. He goes online some but not a lot.

So, when she told me, I had no way of knowing - not sure how that makes me guilty of drama. Not sure how my helping my niece is a bad thing, or how it relates in any way to this post.....I am pretty confused as to why it would matter as my niece has nothing to do with any of my old friends and...

I remember when he was dating a lady for over a year when we lived overseas in our 20's and all hung out. He was with her all the time and I really don't think he cheated. He wanted to marry her. She dumped him and he was so upset - she found another guy she liked better - no cheating was...

Yes, well I telecommute most days, thankfully. However, I still hear the gossip and go over to the office now and then, so hear some of what goes on. Some people are blatant about it, and I am sure many others aren't. If it's 1 in 40, I wonder if that is at any given time, because it seems like...

Yes and I know people who cheat and it's not even a secret really - people at my work - they are not even close friends but everyone knows they cheat and gossips about it. The spouses do not know, but no one has told them. But there are likely a lot of people who cheat and hide it very well...

Oh yes, she is not pregnant, she knows that for sure, you just reminded me to mention that.

Well I made mistakes in my life (not ones I want to talk about now but they are on a totally different topic). And they accepted and kept me as a friend anyway. So, I guess we all try to remain friends and not judge, that's how our group of friends is - at least that particular group who have...

So I think she was just venting and asked for advice. I have none to give, other than for her to leave it alone and not contact him for a while, and when she sees him at events be cordial but don't get too chummy talking. It was something I never would have dreamed would happen. On the surface...

It will be interesting if anything becomes of it, I mean if he leaves his wife or not. I do not see her ever getting married to him and she already has plans to go on a blind date with another guy a friend wanted her to meet. But you never know, I guess anything could happen.

I get it. It was funny and made me laugh. Not always conveyed over a computer. It cracked me up laughing actually.

Well they knew what they were doing, alcohol or not, but either way the result is the same - it happened. So that was a huge question - would waiting a week to contact be long enough - and my thought was no. Personally, I have 3 friends on FB I slept with 20-25 yrs ago, in my crazier...

Yes she knew what it meant with the massage. She admits it, she blames the fact she was very drunk but she knew what she was doing. They both did. You are right. Kristi and he agreed not to tell anyone and he knows she will tell me but I won't tell. She has totally gotten off Facebook due to...