“Purpose” in Retirement -

[rkser]

Please help me find the elusive Purpose in my retirement .

My background -
We both retired in 2015, am 68 & DW 63, worked hard for 30yrs after coming to US with a professional degree but as dirt poor legal immigrants.

Have a large savings portfolio now with projections showing leaving much money to kids & charities when we pass, thanks to the available opportunities.
I have been a 30+ yr Vanguard Index investor DIYer & market has treated me well overall, have been lucky to find & be a part of this & bogleheads forum for decades. We have a DAF at Fidelity & have been doing more & more donations to charities.

I volunteer 4 days in a month at nearby free clinics, wife does weekly Meals on Wheels.

Beyond that all the rest of time is spent on lots of socializing with friends, social functions, doctor visits, weekly temple, visits to kids/grandkids, taking care of a smart 11 yr old Schnauzer , but all the house cleaning, the lawn & handy man work around the house is all hired out as money is not much of a concern at this stage in life & I am not good at these jobs anyway and the learning curve will be very steep if I begin to try, I help out DW some in the kitchen.
We go for occasional walks with our dog on the trails & in our neighborhood & also occasional Gym visits. We help out at the monthly Senior meetings & I have spoken to this & for such meetings about health topics.

We travel within US, and often to Europe & India, at least it seems more than what our friends/ people around us do. We had a RV for initial 2-3 yrs of our retirement & travelled extensively across the country but sold it when its storage days got to be many more rather than being used.

So my main point is I do not have any particular purpose per se in my life right now & everything regarding retirement I read about centers around finding the Purpose.
I did have an engrossing career with many 12-14 hour days a norm for 30 yrs.

I volunteered at the County Gardening Center weekly for a few years but my weak leg after the unfortunate road accident which ended my career comes in the way of sitting & kneeling on to the ground, so that was that.

Many days a vacant & a rather depressing day stares at me when I get up.
My initiative seems to be dying out to go and find that elusive activity & I am afraid my 70s & beyond will be worse, apart from these seemingly superficial social interactions & getting inactive & lazier.

So in the end the summary of my worry & this long post is that the money angle is fine but the non money part needs lot of work to be done by me.
I did not have ANY hobbies while I was busy working, my bad.

How do/did you find that purpose, please share, maybe although late in life I can start doing that activity .

Thanks & regards

 

[GrayHare]

Folks who amass enough to retire early are often natural doers, so when the paid job ends, time can feel empty. IMO the solution is to find things to do that you might enjoy. I emphasize "might" because that will encourage you to try new things. The possibilities are many. Woodworking, photography, astronomy, teaching, writing, exploring, travel, etc. Take a course at a local college to explore a new area. Invent a goal. You're the boss now, so do what you want.

 

[CaffeineMe]

Lots of folks on this forum seem to find spending time with grandchildren as part of their purpose. You get to have a positive influence on the next generation! My spouse and I are helping to care for our elderly parents, which lends some purpose to our days.

Overall, I'm a bit skeptical of the advice to "find your great purpose in retirement". Of course, I am only 3 years in and maybe I will be asking the same question as you are when I get to 10 years retired. Mostly, I am using my time to explore activities and things I didn't have the energy to pursue when I was working.

Have you tried to pick up any hobbies since your retirement? If you like gardening, can you perhaps set up some raised beds or planters that don't require getting on the ground or kneeling? Create an amazing garden and feed your family and friends organically raised produce! Maybe now is a time to explore your creative side and see if you discover a passion for painting/pottery/woodworking/building birdhouses/stained glass/photography. All of these can be done with a bad leg.

 

[rk911]

For a while I was a docent at our county historical museum. I enjoyed interacting with folks coming in to see the exhibits. I was also a school crossing guard and a judge of election. For a time my buddy drove for a medical lab picking up and delivering specimens.

Lots of opportunities out there both paid and volunteer.

 

[Gumby]

I already spent a lifetime doing and serving. I'm now concentrating on just being. I try to take each day as it comes and find something to enjoy about it.

I only do things because they need to be done and I enjoy doing them. I work in my garden (I also cannot really kneel due to injury) and preserve the food I grow, take care of my house and property, do the grocery shopping, mow the church lawn, work in its food pantry once a week, sing in the choir, and help do their bookkeeping occasionally. I post here. When my young wife gets to a hectic phase in her theatrical costuming volunteer work, I do more cooking at home. Together, we go on vacations, go out on drives in the local area, eat dinner together every night, play with our cats and just hang out at home on the porch

None of these these are really what you might think of as "a purpose in life", but they fill my days and keep me happy. I don't need more than that.

 

[Fermion]

I can't imagine having no hobbies. I have sailing, woodworking, metalworking, house building, D&D gaming, hiking/camping, electronics, robotics. Probably some others thrown in there. Can I borrow about 100 years of your retirement so I can get bored?

But seriously, like Caffeine said....have you tried any new hobbies that might interest you?

 

[naggz]

I very much disagree with the idea of requiring a "purpose”.

I don't even understand what it really means... Is that how you are defined from then on? Is it forever? Who is asking for my purpose?

When I was working full time, I never considered it my "purpose". why do I need to find one now?

Required important tasks and events (healthcare, important repairs, moves, etc) hobbies, activities, friends and personal tastes are constantly changing with time and experience (and tech advancements) and we constantly change what we expend our time, energy, and resources on.

Lifes purpose? Not for me, thanks.

 

[aja8888]

For me it's golf and hanging out with my group of 70+ year old friends. Yesterday, we went to the Texans preseason game. I'll be 81 soon and my main purpose is to make it another decade without a major negative heath event.

You are young, have the funds, have a spouse, and have no immediate worries (it seems). Staying active and busy is the key....a purpose? Well.....get a young dog!

 

[MissMolly]

I very much disagree with the idea of requiring a "purpose”.

I don't even understand what it really means... Is that how you are defined from then on? Is it forever? Who is asking for my purpose?

When I was working full time, I never considered it my "purpose". why do I need to find one now?

Required important tasks and events (healthcare, important repairs, moves, etc) hobbies, activities, friends and personal tastes are constantly changing with time and experience (and tech advancements) and we constantly change what we expend our time, energy, and resources on.

Lifes purpose? Not for me, thanks.

Amen! I don't need no stinkin' purpose I just need to enjoy what time I have left.

 

[Jerry1]

Never found my purpose while working and it hasn’t found me in retirement. Find happiness in being. Yes, there are times when the days seem long but I’m reminded of a saying I once heard “the days are long but the years go by quickly”. Before you know it, it will be your twilight. Until then, focus on doing things you like to do. Adding things in there that help others is a bonus. Socializing is important, keep up on your friendships. Be thankful that you have this problem. Most people on earth have to focus on survival we get to take a breath and just be.

 

[erkevin]

I no longer feel the need to be of service to society. I retired 8 years ago, did volunteer law enforcement, volunteered at local school, assisted my elderly neighbor with yard work, rides to appointments, and shopping. Had to make an emergency move across the country to care for an Alzheimer's-affected family member and clean out 5 hoarder homes and a dozen outbuildings. Spent years/decades involved in Elks, Eastern Star, and Masons.
Now.....family, friends, neighbors, and myself are enough. I have many hobbies and interests and am never bored. Moving to a new city last year was a wonderful re-birth; no one knows me and no one expects me to do all of the stuff I had been doing for over 35 years.

 

[Lewis Clark]

I think the idea of "purpose" is way overstated. I would replace it with "something to do".

Rather than search for purpose, look for things you enjoy doing, and do them. Sounds like you are doing this already.

 

[marko]

IMHO, hobbies and activities are not the same as "purpose". To me, "purpose" implies some cosmic "reason" you were put on this earth. Kind of presumptuous, no?

My purpose, if you want to call it that, is to enjoy each day for what it is, be kind and not make someone else's life worse. That, and sitting in the sun and more or less staying out of the way.

 

[Gotadimple]

Well, having been retired for 15 years or so, I would counter that you have many purposes in life - not just one all consuming one. (Other than living as long and as healthy as possible).

I will suggest you read Ernie Zelinski's How to Retire Happy Wild & Free to help with identifying experiences you want to add to your list. It's still in print, or generally available at most public libraries.

Also, make a plan to meet up with people on a routine basis. It gives you perspective - as does travel to new places. You can find many activities that put you with people who have led interesting lives: your temple, your library for book groups, your community or senior center, a walking group. Try Meetup.com for planned activities in your area (walking, hiking, book groups, common interest).

Pick a subject you have never studied and enroll in a local community college's senior program. I started with geology because I live in a beautiful area and wanted to know how the land forms evolved. Now I take classes in Astronomy - mostly focused on projects that NASA and other countries are undertaking to study the stars. Each of these engaged my brain and allowed me to connect to others interested in the same subjects.

HTH,
Rita

 

[rkser]

Excuse me for the grammatical mistakes, I freshened up & altered my earlier post.

 

[TheWizard]

In year 12 of retirement, my purpose in life now is to travel a fair amount and to process firewood enough to heat both my house and my girlfriend's house through most of the cool half of the year in southern New England.

I leave on 9/23 for RoadTrip 24 to Wyoming, so I need to take care of a bunch of things before that four week excursion...

 

[rkser]

Well, having been retired for 15 years or so, I would counter that you have many purposes in life - not just one all consuming one. (Other than living as long and as healthy as possible).

I will suggest you read Ernie Zelinski's How to Retire Happy Wild & Free to help with identifying experiences you want to add to your list. It's still in print, or generally available at most public libraries.

Also, make a plan to meet up with people on a routine basis. It gives you perspective - as does travel to new places. You can find many activities that put you with people who have led interesting lives: your temple, your library for book groups, your community or senior center, a walking group. Try Meetup.com for planned activities in your area (walking, hiking, book groups, common interest).

Pick a subject you have never studied and enroll in a local community college's senior program. I started with geology because I live in a beautiful area and wanted to know how the land forms evolved. Now I take classes in Astronomy - mostly focused on projects that NASA and other countries are undertaking to study the stars. Each of these engaged my brain and allowed me to connect to others interested in the same subjects.

HTH,
Rita

Thankyou so much

 

[marko]

In year 12 of retirement, my purpose in life now is to travel a fair amount and to process firewood enough to heat both my house and my girlfriend's house through most of the cool half of the year in southern New England.

I leave on 10/23 for RoadTrip 24 to Wyoming, so I need to take care of a bunch of things before that four week excursion...

Going from MA to Wyoming for firewood? Gotta be more to this story.

 

[rkser]

Lots of folks on this forum seem to find spending time with grandchildren as part of their purpose. You get to have a positive influence on the next generation! My spouse and I are helping to care for our elderly parents, which lends some purpose to our days.

Overall, I'm a bit skeptical of the advice to "find your great purpose in retirement". Of course, I am only 3 years in and maybe I will be asking the same question as you are when I get to 10 years retired. Mostly, I am using my time to explore activities and things I didn't have the energy to pursue when I was working.

Have you tried to pick up any hobbies since your retirement? If you like gardening, can you perhaps set up some raised beds or planters that don't require getting on the ground or kneeling? Create an amazing garden and feed your family and friends organically raised produce! Maybe now is a time to explore your creative side and see if you discover a passion for painting/pottery/woodworking/building birdhouses/stained glass/photography. All of these can be done with a bad leg.

Thankyou

 

[TheWizard]

Going from MA to Wyoming for firewood? Gotta be more to this story.

Indeed.
The firewood comes from my town's "leaf dump" and my GF's ten acre lot in RI.
The Wyoming trip involves picking the GF up at the Bozeman airport and then five nights in Yellowstone before the return journey.
I'll probably leave the chainsaw at home for this trip...

 

[teej1985]

I no longer feel the need to be of service to society. I retired 8 years ago, did volunteer law enforcement, volunteered at local school, assisted my elderly neighbor with yard work, rides to appointments, and shopping. Had to make an emergency move across the country to care for an Alzheimer's-affected family member and clean out 5 hoarder homes and a dozen outbuildings. Spent years/decades involved in Elks, Eastern Star, and Masons.
Now.....family, friends, neighbors, and myself are enough. I have many hobbies and interests and am never bored. Moving to a new city last year was a wonderful re-birth; no one knows me and no one expects me to do all of the stuff I had been doing for over 35 years.

Have you been able to make friends there or do you spend a lot of your time solo?

 

[KCGeezer]

I try and follow this John McDonald quote.

The primary objective is to laugh.

Good luck with your search rkser

 

[Flyfish1]

I too worried that I need to find a " purpose" in retirement because that's what all the books told me to do. I thought about volunteering in the medical field or doing something else " significant" by giving back. But then I reconsidered - as I had spent 30 years in the service of others , often times uncompensated and in the middle of the night only to get up a couple of hours later and work another 10 hours. So, once I retired I did not pursue a purpose driven existence. However, I have plenty of hobbies, boating, fishing/flyfishing and woodworking. Also , now that there is time I have started a regular exercise program and we now are doing plenty of travel. Socializing more and taking care of the home, two small dogs and generally enjoying " being". My suggestion : find a hobby or two and dive in, you will find a new network of people and a good reason to get up and get going every day.

 

[Gallaher]

It never hurts to sit on the porch and read a good novel.
Maybe you feel self indulgent to sleep late or learn to paint landscapes.
Forget that…this is your time.
My daily requirement is to workout. My daily indulgence is to play music a few hours.
Love these days.
Incidentally, I never had a job I loved nor one I hated.

 

[rkser]

I too worried that I need to find a " purpose" in retirement because that's what all the books told me to do. I thought about volunteering in the medical field or doing something else " significant" by giving back. But then I reconsidered - as I had spent 30 years in the service of others , often times uncompensated and in the middle of the night only to get up a couple of hours later and work another 10 hours. So, once I retired I did not pursue a purpose driven existence. However, I have plenty of hobbies, boating, fishing/flyfishing and woodworking. Also , now that there is time I have started a regular exercise program and we now are doing plenty of travel. Socializing more and taking care of the home, two small dogs and generally enjoying " being". My suggestion : find a hobby or two and dive in, you will find a new network of people and a good reason to get up and get going every day.

Thankyou,